Er ... this Kroll PR email is from Monday, actually. Voice! 'What?' What kind of day was I having on Monday? 'I really can't remember, boss. You wrote about dizzy desperation in your conceptual.' Did I? Oh, okay.
Anyway ...
The number of registered company insolvencies in February 2022 was 1,515.
So?
David / Joanne, can discuss the following topics in relation to corporate insolvencies:
Now hang on a minute! David / Joanne ... ??? 'It's two people, boss.' Fine.
What is driving the rise in corporate insolvencies?
Can we see this continuing?
What warning signals should businesses be looking at?
What advice can you give to businesses today to prepare?
Will the rise in energy and other costs put an unsustainable strain on cashflows?
What impact will the rise in National Insurance have?
Are these rising levels of corporate insolvency reflecting the removal of government support in the form of VAT support, loans and other The Thing era levers?
I have no idea.
David / Joanne, can discuss the following topics in relation to personal insolvencies:
Are we seeing a lag?
Can we expect to see these current levels rise?
Are there regional differences?
What alternatives are there to personal bankruptcy?
What trends are you seeing?
What advice can you offer people facing potential bankruptcy?
Please do let me know at the very soonest if this opportunity interests you.
Oh, I don't know. Who are these people, really?
About David:
David has worked on numerous assignments for management teams, banks, asset-based lenders, private equity and key financial stakeholders implementing turnaround solvent restructuring strategies to preserve value.
About Joanne:
Joanne has extensive experience in debt negotiation, advising and implementing bespoke voluntary arrangements and undertaking complex investigative bankruptcy matters. Joanne also has considerable experience in dealing with insolvent deceased estates.
Okay.
Listen! We all know why there are so many corporate insolvencies and personal insolvencies. It's no big mystery, is it?
I'll say no more.
ENDS
...
Anything else? Music?
I've been thinking ... I'm seriously a dead man if I don't become a rock star. How about that for motivation?
'Boss, I got news for you.'
What?
'Everyone is seriously a dead man or woman ... eventually.'
Yeah, that's great. Thanks for that, Voice.
Idiot!
Have a nice weekend, kooks.
