HOW FAR WILL WE BE GOING?

You may be wondering how far into the destruction of literature we will be going, to make something new, that no one will be able to get a grip on anyway, because it always slips away, as my mind slips, as the meaning of words … away, as structure dissolves.

IS THIS THE START OF SOME MASSIVE ACTION, OR ONLY A TEST OF STRENGTH?

Good question. You know despair brings you to this place. Emptiness is here. My heart is a desert. My consciousness is expanding, obviously; but I will be very surprised if it does me any good. But I refuse to be a fucking slave!

AND STILL I move on.

Jeroen Huysinga: recovery won't be a W shape

Jeroen Huysinga at JPMorgan says the recovery won't be a W.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW …

But will it be a V?

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV …

It might be an L.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL …

Whatever it will be, it will be. This has been written. Do not ask me where or by whom. Do you trust me?

It will be?

Yes.

Cerberus Capital Management is banning withdrawals from new hedge funds!

Oh, that is out of order! And it's no way to do business. Banning withdrawals? Shocking! If investors want their money, let them have it. But no! Timothy Price (spokesman, managing director, cold earth wanderer) has said it's a three year lock-up. They ain't getting their money.

O O O my children, where is the love?

O O O! This is a bit over the top, isn't it?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO …

Jesus!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO …

THIS IS HOW MONEY CAN AFFECT YOU.

SEC charges Michael J. Moore & Associates, but …

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS!!! I mean, that's the golden rule, isn't it? Michael Moore is a Las Vegas-based accountant - can't the SEC cut him a bit of slack? What's wrong with these people?

What is he charged with anyway? Issuing false audit reports, and hiring high school dropouts who had no experience in accounting. Well, these are not serious crimes, are they? Mr Moore ain't exactly Charles Manson, is he? There are worse things he could have done.

I have been speaking to Michael (I still am). This may get a little confusing: 'Michael, man, am I such a terrible person? All I did was try to help some kids down on their luck, give them a chance to earn a living - and how does society repay me? You got a raw deal, Michael, my friend. Didn't you tell the SEC about your trips into the desert, where you showed these kids the way? They wouldn’t listen, Michael. They don't care about all the good work I have done in the community. They don't know what it is like in Vegas. The desert is calling you all the time. They don't know the temptations. Michael, I'll bet you anything you like, they would also be neglecting their duties if they were in my position. Michael, all you care about is the burning, ain't it? Yes, Michael, the burning makes me forget. You must have been out of it half the time. Oh, I was, Michael. And the thing is, I know -

O Master, that's enough! You're taking the piss. Have a bit of consideration for your readers. Can't you use italics for one of the voices?

Whose voice? Michael's, or mine? And I'm using italics for you, my child.

Well, use bold then.

Who said that?

I did.

And the thing is, I know the SEC wants to believe, it wants to love. It just hasn't been given a chance - like those poor kids. I'm a fucking humanitarian, for Christ's sake! You dig me, Michael?

I dig you, man. But let's leave it there.

Thank fuck!

Banks and living wills

Should banks be forced to write "living wills", so that they can easily be closed down when it is time for them to shuffle off this mortal coil?

No! I am against it. And I'll tell you for why. Some people, lawyers mainly, have spoken of the great cost of doing this, but that is not why I'm against the idea. I think it would send out all the wrong signals. The banks would be telling the world and the cosmos that they are afraid to die and are actually expecting to die - soon. That is a very negative attitude. In A Hero of Our Time, Mikhail Lermontov wrote: 'If I die, I die. It will be small loss to the world, and I've had about enough of it myself. I'm like a man yawning at a ball who doesn't go home to bed because his carriage hasn't come. But when it arrives - farewell!' That is a much better attitude to have. We all know we are going to die one day, but I believe we should just accept it in a casual manner. If it happens, it happens. We do not need wills. And we do not need to invite death. It will find all of us in its own sweet time.

Richard Lambert: the City is all right

Now, Richard Lambert and I haven't always seen eye to eye, but I have to take my cap with the George Soros feather off to him today because he has come out and defended the City against that communist agitator Lord Turner.

The CBI director-general has said - Who are we talking about now? - Lambert is the director-general; he has said it is not the job of a regulator (Red Adair) to argue that a particular form of activity is or is not of social value.

Amen to that! O Master, I suppose Mr Lambert spake unto your mind, yeah?

As is his wont.

His what?

His wont.

Lewis Charles Securities: unauthorised trading!

It happens to the best of them. Lewis Charles Securities has been touched (yeah) by a loss from unauthorised trading. It happened at the end of July. But how much did the stockbroker lose?

I have been speaking to Stavros Loizou, chief executive of the firm, and he told me, 'Michael, you know I can't talk about the loss. You know I can't put a number on it for you. (Please, Stavros, mate.) Sorry, Michael. Let's talk about the love that burns forever. (I'm sick of talking about the love that burns forever. I suppose it all seems new and exciting to you, but I live this burning love shit 24/7. Sometimes I just wanna get all square, you dig? Talk about finance the way the grey people do, the ones with cold souls.) Oh man, you're putting me on! Mikey, I know you. I know you can't stop grooving, can't stop burning it up in the desert of our dreams, the desert that our ancestors established in the minds of mystics and shamans everywhere. Come on, Mikey, tell me about the burning love. (All right, Stavros, just because you're a dear friend, I'm gonna lay it on you.) Hit me, baby. (The burning love is a hunk of love in our minds - ask Andy Lynch at Schroders. It lifts us up. It rocks us on the water - ask Jackson Browne. It pushes us through the astral sky at a terrifying speed. It fills us. It covers us. Sticky banknotes have been known to burn into our faces when the love is really hot. That's why we groove. That's why we love to love - ask Tina Charles. WE ARE THE LORDS OF CASH WHO ARE LOST IN LOVE. It's burning money that loves us. And we love the burning money back.) Thank you, Michael. I'm welling up over here.'

Jon Moulton leaves Alchemy Partners!

You probably didn't hear it here first, but we are going to get to the heart of the matter and find out the 'real' truth. Who is this 'we'? WE IS EVERYONE, my child. We are the people. We are the cosmos. Damn straight.

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. Mr Moulton has left Alchemy Partners and he has got bad vibes and evil words for everyone. He told investors in a letter: 'Alchemy is not what it once was'. HE WANTS THE PRIVATE EQUITY FIRM TO BE WOUND UP! That is outrageous! Yeah. What are we going to do about it? What are we going to do about it?

SEND IN THE SHAMANS!!!

Is that wise? Alchemy may be in no fit state to cope with a team of fired-up financial shamans - all ready to rock, to screw with the heads of staff, to make them see the world, the financial situation, with new eyes. O Master, is this really wise?

DOMINIC SLADE WANTS THE SHAMANS TO COME IN!!!

What the fuck?! Where did you read that, man?

I didn't read it anywhere. I HEARD IT. I KNOW IT. He spoke to me, in my mind. A voice crying out: 'Mikey, give me your shamans! We need them, man. Bring the lads in.'

So that's why Jon has left!

That's the truth. Jon did not want to burn. He did not want the love inside him. Shame.

Soros Fund Management: assets up 41 per cent!

How about that, eh? While his rivals were losing assets, George Soros was getting more and more and more of them! His firm now has $24 billion in assets under management! That's a 41 per cent increase on last year! How has he done it? It's a mystery.

Er, no, it's not a mystery, actually, O Master. George has been burning in the desert.

No, my child, you are mistaken there. Mr Soros is a cold earth wanderer. He has never wandered in the burning desert, astral or any other kind. Money has never burned within him. It has always been cold, lifeless money with him. Square money, you could say. That's the way he grooves - if you can call it grooving. That's why I said it was a mystery.

I saw him only the other night.

Where, my child?

In the friggin' desert of our dreams! Come on, man, wake up. Don't you know that George is full of love now? He burns now.

Nonsense! You're deluded.

Whatever.

Jesus! Are you serious?

I'm as serious as a heart attack. Don't you remember he tried to get you to go to Davos?

Yeah, but that didn't mean anything.

Yes it did. It meant that he had an open mind about mystical capitalism. But he has grown since then. He has embraced the new reality.

Really? Well, I'll have to look into this. This could be quite a feather in my cap - and Big Herb's, of course. A new recruit!

O Master, does Big Herb have a cap? I've always considered him a trilby-wearing sort of god, myself.

Shut up.

Commerzbank is going to make a freakin' profit!

Yeah! You probably didn't hear it here first. But you are hearing it now with added mystical juice. With fire and shit! Yes! The German bank Commerzbank, Commerzzzzzzzzzzzzbank! Man, it needs those zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! It does!

O Master, you are like some jazzed-up motherfucker. Riding those astral waves of financial news as they swirl around inside your head.

Fuckin' A!

And if the squares don't like it?

Oh man, O my child, WE ALL KNOW WHAT THE SQUARES CAN DO IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT.

But what about Commerzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbank, man?!

NEXT YEAR the bank will make some money! Yippee!

And the chief executive of this bank (I ain't doing the zzzzzzzzzzzzz again), Martin Blessing, has told some newspaper: 'I don't want to be over-optimistic. Germans are not known for singing and dancing on the table.'

But that's not what he told you, is it, boss? You got the real juicy shit.

Yes, I did. Martin spoke in my mind. This wasn't some telephone conversation. HE SPOKE IN MY MIND!!!

And what did the crazy cat say?

HE SPAKE UNTO ME: 'Mikey, I couldn't tell some newspaper I was going to be burning in the desert like some kinda mentalist mystic mutha who had lost all contact with 'normal' reality and spun off into a world where there is no loss, only profit. How could I tell them that, man?'

O Master, he couldn't tell them that!

Of course he couldn't.