Thursday 28 May 2020

Last post of the week

Yeah, that's the best title I could think of. Don't worry about it.

So, uh ... I want to write two more ultra commercial songs like And Rain Came Down. Well, looking at other people's songs, there aren't too many in the same league. I mean, some of the songs I've mentioned recently ...

Beat It and Billie Jean by Michael Jackson
Let's Dance and Modern Love by David Bowie
Don't You Want Me by Human League
Baby Jane by Rod Stewart
Out of Touch by Daryl Hall and John Oates
Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners

These are the sort of songs I'm talking about, man. They're also great songs, you dig? Most commercial songs are trash. Just look at the charts these days.

Oh, there's Hey Ya! by OutKast, too. Uh, songs from the Sixties and Seventies are probably too dated to compete now. I mean, it's hard to listen to She Loves You after Beat It. Do you know what I mean?

Songs by the ladies? Rather strangely, I like Say You'll Be There by the Spice Girls. And I like Can't Get You Out Of My Head by Kylie Minogue. Borderline by Madonna is probably too melancholic - even though I really love it. I've written about the genre of melanchlolic pop before, haven't I?

So, yeah, the point I'm making is ... there aren't many songs that qualify as decent models, you dig?

1999 by Prince!

I Feel Love by Donna Summer. That song could have been recorded yesterday.

...

The park? Yeah, I'm still going to the park. There were four squirrels mucking about in a bush yesterday. They jumped out at me. / I could walk to Richmond, but I'm not sure I fancy it, really.

Even if holidays are allowed soon, how can you enjoy them ... sitting in the pub, away from everyone else, wearing a gas mask, and drinking your pint through a straw?

I can watch the Sloop Inn St Ives webcam, I suppose. And I've got some old videos and pictures.

It's not the same as being there. Listen! I have a fantasy about walking to St Ives, dodging the feds, sleeping in Donovan's pill box, and then ... jumping into the sea like Bodhi. I probably won't do it.

...

Politics? You want to talk about politics, do you? Straight after pop music and St Ives? It's your funeral.

Let me just say ... nothing.

I did write something, but I deleted it. / I could delete this whole post. I'm not writing about music or personal stuff no more.

Laters.


Update 01/06/2020: I'm taking a week off, kook(s). See you next week. Laters!

Wednesday 27 May 2020

Refinitiv: Lipper European fund flows report - April 2020

It's that time again. 'What time again?' The time, Voice, when they send me the PR email. 'That was yesterday, boss.' Yes. But now it's today! Ha, ha, ha! For immediate release? Oh, I don't think so.

Anyway ...

Please see attached for the monthly European fund flows report from the Lipper team at Refinitiv:

Right. Come on then!

Long-term mutual funds posted net inflows for April 2020.
The overall fund flows for mutual funds in Europe in April amounted to estimated net inflows of €86.2 bn.
Money market funds (+€47.8 bn) were the best-selling individual asset type overall for April.
Equity Global (+€8.5 bn) was once again the best-selling sector among long-term funds for April.
Luxembourg (+€47.8 bn) was the fund domicile with the highest net inflows, followed by Ireland (+€33.2 bn) and the U.K. (+€6.1 bn).
JP Morgan was the best-selling fund promoter for April overall, with net sales of €25.1 bn, ahead of BlackRock (+€15.8 bn) and HSBC (+€5.5 bn).
The 10 best-selling long-term funds gathered at the share class level net inflows of €17.9 bn for April.
Mercer Tailored Credit Fund M2 GBP Dis (+€4.5 bn) was the best-selling individual long-term fund for April.

Now, uh ... 'We just need our Detlef to make sense of it all.' Yeah. Detlef! Detlef! Where are you?

Detlef Glow, Lipper Head of EMEA Research at Refinitiv, comments: "European investors started to buy back into mutual funds and ETFs in April after massive outflows from these products in March. Investors returned to the markets after they had somewhat stabilized following the outbreak of The Thing, which caused widespread worldwide lockdowns and stoked fears of a global recession.

"As a result, long-term mutual funds posted overall net inflows for the month. Bond funds (+€23.5 bn) were the best-selling asset type for April, followed by equity funds (+€18.4 bn), 'other' funds (+€1.7 bn), mixed-assets funds (+€1.5 bn), commodities funds (+€0.8 bn), and real estate funds (+€0.04 bn). On the other hand, alternative UCITS funds (-€7.5 bn) were the only asset type with net outflows from long-term mutual funds."

Thank you, Detlef! / Well, I'm sure certain readers will love all that. But me? I'm just about the music these days, man. 'Detlef loves music as well, boss!' Oh, I'm sure he does.

Anyway ...

ENDS

...

Anything else? Well ... I'm only four or five months away from the ten-year anniversary of my getting back into music. I remember I popped into Argos to get a cheap, uh ... £70 acoustic guitar. Maybe I was bored or something. I don't know.

I started off by learning simple chords again … D, G, A ... the chords for that first new song, ah, scrapped long ago. What was it called? Such a long time ago. I can't even remember what it was about. Never mind. / I only practiced fifteen or thirty minutes a day. At times, I wouldn't pick the guitar up for a couple of weeks.

Now it's 2020 with The Thing.

So, in lockdown ... I'll continue to improve my performing skills, yes. And I want to write two more really commercial songs like ...

And Rain Came Down is one of the most commercial songs ever written, man! I've decided. My final judgement, as it were or ... is. It's full of hooks. It has a great chorus. The slightly odd lyric doesn't ruin the effect, really. Read the lyrics for Bowie's Modern Love. They're not the sort of words and message you would expect to see in such a commercial song, BUT(!) ... Bowie knew most listeners would only hear ... Modern love, modern love, modern love, blah blah blah. You dig?

...

Oh, I still intend to stop the music updates and the personal writing. I know you don't believe me.

I mean it!

Laters!

Tuesday 26 May 2020

[No. 807] Being clueless is the only way sometimes

'Tell me about it!'

And, well ...[1], and life is so complicated, man[1], and, well ...[2], and any sensible person can't be expected to know ... anything, really[1], and life is so complicated, man[2], and, oh ... I know that, yes[1], and any sensible person can't be expected to know ... anything, really[2], and those slags who reckon they know, uh ... everything, Christ ... are filthy liars, believe me[1], and, oh ... I know that, yes[2], and they're obviously running some sort of scam[1], and those slags who reckon they know, uh ... everything, Christ ... are filthy liars, believe me[2], and were YOU(!) born yesterday?[1], and they're obviously running some sort of scam[2], and, listen to me, you little spinning freak(s) ... I was born a billion years ago, at least, and what do I know?[1], and were YOU(!) born yesterday?[2], and ... 'Tell us!'[1], and, listen to me, you little spinning freak(s) ... I was born a billion years ago, at least, and what do I know?[2], and I know, I know, I know ... NOTHING - !!![1], and ... 'Tell us!'[2], and, yes, yes, yes[1], and I know, I know, I know ... NOTH ING - !!![2], and ... 'You're in good company, boss ... because that Socrates was an idiot, too' / and, oh ... shut up, Voice[1], and, yes, yes, yes[2], and, well, well ...[1], and ... 'You're in good company, boss ... because that Socrates was an idiot, too' / and, oh ... shut up, Voice[2], and, ah ... the world today[1], and, well, well ...[2], and if you think you know something, ha, ha, ha ... there are a lot of demons who will use you[1], and, ah ... the world today[2], and you'll never need a job ...[1], and if you think you know something, ha, ha, ha ... there are a lot of demons who will use you[2], and if anyone asks ... pretend you're dumb[1], and you'll never need a job ...[2], and the best thing you can hope for is ... an isolated cave with your name on it[1], and if anyone asks ... pretend you're dumb[2], and, so ...[1], and the best thing you can hope for is ... an isolated cave with your name on it[2], and a-ROUND here ... it looks more attractive than ever, doesn't it?[1], and, so ...[2], and the dizzy life never gets old[1], and a-ROUND here ... it looks more attractive than ever, doesn't it?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and do you know what I mean?[1], and the dizzy life never gets old[2], and too many dull people, hoping for a miracle - and missing it ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and do you know what I mean?[2], and I'll spin some sense into those squares if I ever catch them ...[1], and too many dull people, hoping for a miracle - and missing it ...[2], and, uh, uh, yes ... a-ROUND here, like ... being all nosy, thinking they can discover my secret[1], and I'll spin some sense into those squares if I ever catch them ...[2], and this is better than any rainbow[1], and, uh, uh, yes ... a-ROUND here, like ... being all nosy, thinking they can discover my secret[2], and kooks like us, you, me ... we make our own luck, don't we?[1], and this is better than any rainbow[2], and ... in some ways it's harder than rocket science[1], and kooks like us, you, me ... we make our own luck, don't we?[2], and, so ... stay lucky![1], and ... in some ways it's harder than rocket science[2], and, well ...[3], and, so ... stay lucky![2], and life is so complicated, man[3], and any sensible person can't be expected to know ... anything, really[3], and, oh ... I know that, yes[3], and those slags who reckon they know, uh ... everything, Christ ... are filthy liars, believe me[3], and they're obviously running some sort of scam[3], and were YOU(!) born yesterday?[3], and, listen to me, you little spinning freak(s) ... I was born a billion years ago, at least, and what do I know?[3], and ... 'Tell us!'[3], and I know, I know, I know ... N  O  T  H  I  N  G - !!![3], and, yes, yes, yes[3], and ... 'You're in good company, boss ... because that Socrates was an idiot, too' / and, oh ... shut up, Voice[3], and, well, well ...[3], and, ah ... the world today[3], and if you think you know something, ha, ha, ha ... there are a lot of demons who will use you[3], and you'll never need a job ...[3], and if anyone asks ... pretend you're dumb[3], and the best thing you can hope for is ... an isolated cave with your name on it[3], and, so ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... it looks more attractive than ever, doesn't it?[3], and the dizzy life never gets old[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and do you know what I mean?[3], and too many dull people, hoping for a miracle - and missing it ...[3], and I'll spin some sense into those squares if I ever catch them ...[3], and, uh, uh, yes ... a-ROUND here, like ... being all nosy, thinking they can discover my secret[3], and this is better than any rainbow[3], and kooks like us, you, me ... we make our own luck, don't we?[3], and ... in some ways it's harder than rocket science[3], and, so ... stay lucky![3], and

And, well ...[1], and life is so complicated, man[1], and, well ...[2], and any sensible person can't be expected to know ... anything, really[1], and life is so complicated, man[2], and, oh ... I know that, yes[1], and any sensible person can't be expected to know ... anything, really[2], and those slags who reckon they know, uh ... everything, Christ ... are filthy liars, believe me[1], and, oh ... I know that, yes[2], and they're obviously running some sort of scam[1], and those slags who reckon they know, uh ... everything, Christ ... are filthy liars, believe me[2], and were YOU(!) born yesterday?[1], and they're obviously running some sort of scam[2], and, listen to me, you little spinning freak(s) ... I was born a billion years ago, at least, and what do I know?[1], and were YOU(!) born yesterday?[2], and ... 'Tell us!'[1], and, listen to me, you little spinning freak(s) ... I was born a billion years ago, at least, and what do I know?[2], and I know, I know, I know ... NOTHING - !!![1], and ... 'Tell us!'[2], and, yes, yes, yes[1], and I know, I know, I know ... NOTH ING - !!![2], and ... 'You're in good company, boss ... because that Socrates was an idiot, too' / and, oh ... shut up, Voice[1], and, yes, yes, yes[2], and, well, well ...[1], and ... 'You're in good company, boss ... because that Socrates was an idiot, too' / and, oh ... shut up, Voice[2], and, ah ... the world today[1], and, well, well ...[2], and if you think you know something, ha, ha, ha ... there are a lot of demons who will use you[1], and, ah ... the world today[2], and you'll never need a job ...[1], and if you think you know something, ha, ha, ha ... there are a lot of demons who will use you[2], and if anyone asks ... pretend you're dumb[1], and you'll never need a job ...[2], and the best thing you can hope for is ... an isolated cave with your name on it[1], and if anyone asks ... pretend you're dumb[2], and, so ...[1], and the best thing you can hope for is ... an isolated cave with your name on it[2], and a-ROUND here ... it looks more attractive than ever, doesn't it?[1], and, so ...[2], and the dizzy life never gets old[1], and a-ROUND here ... it looks more attractive than ever, doesn't it?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and do you know what I mean?[1], and the dizzy life never gets old[2], and too many dull people, hoping for a miracle - and missing it ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and do you know what I mean?[2], and I'll spin some sense into those squares if I ever catch them ...[1], and too many dull people, hoping for a miracle - and missing it ...[2], and, uh, uh, yes ... a-ROUND here, like ... being all nosy, thinking they can discover my secret[1], and I'll spin some sense into those squares if I ever catch them ...[2], and this is better than any rainbow[1], and, uh, uh, yes ... a-ROUND here, like ... being all nosy, thinking they can discover my secret[2], and kooks like us, you, me ... we make our own luck, don't we?[1], and this is better than any rainbow[2], and ... in some ways it's harder than rocket science[1], and kooks like us, you, me ... we make our own luck, don't we?[2], and, so ... stay lucky![1], and ... in some ways it's harder than rocket science[2], and, well ...[3], and, so ... stay lucky![2], and life is so complicated, man[3], and any sensible person can't be expected to know ... anything, really[3], and, oh ... I know that, yes[3], and those slags who reckon they know, uh ... everything, Christ ... are filthy liars, believe me[3], and they're obviously running some sort of scam[3], and were YOU(!) born yesterday?[3], and, listen to me, you little spinning freak(s) ... I was born a billion years ago, at least, and what do I know?[3], and ... 'Tell us!'[3], and I know, I know, I know ... N  O  T  H  I  N  G - !!![3], and, yes, yes, yes[3], and ... 'You're in good company, boss ... because that Socrates was an idiot, too' / and, oh ... shut up, Voice[3], and, well, well ...[3], and, ah ... the world today[3], and if you think you know something, ha, ha, ha ... there are a lot of demons who will use you[3], and you'll never need a job ...[3], and if anyone asks ... pretend you're dumb[3], and the best thing you can hope for is ... an isolated cave with your name on it[3], and, so ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... it looks more attractive than ever, doesn't it?[3], and the dizzy life never gets old[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and do you know what I mean?[3], and too many dull people, hoping for a miracle - and missing it ...[3], and I'll spin some sense into those squares if I ever catch them ...[3], and, uh, uh, yes ... a-ROUND here, like ... being all nosy, thinking they can discover my secret[3], and this is better than any rainbow[3], and kooks like us, you, me ... we make our own luck, don't we?[3], and ... in some ways it's harder than rocket science[3], and, so ... stay lucky![3], and

And, well ...[1], and life is so complicated, man[1], and, well ...[2], and any sensible person can't be expected to know ... anything, really[1], and life is so complicated, man[2], and, oh ... I know that, yes[1], and any sensible person can't be expected to know ... anything, really[2], and those slags who reckon they know, uh ... everything, Christ ... are filthy liars, believe me[1], and, oh ... I know that, yes[2], and they're obviously running some sort of scam[1], and those slags who reckon they know, uh ... everything, Christ ... are filthy liars, believe me[2], and were YOU(!) born yesterday?[1], and they're obviously running some sort of scam[2], and, listen to me, you little spinning freak(s) ... I was born a billion years ago, at least, and what do I know?[1], and were YOU(!) born yesterday?[2], and ... 'Tell us!'[1], and, listen to me, you little spinning freak(s) ... I was born a billion years ago, at least, and what do I know?[2], and I know, I know, I know ... NOTHING - !!![1], and ... 'Tell us!'[2], and, yes, yes, yes[1], and I know, I know, I know ... NOTH ING - !!![2], and ... 'You're in good company, boss ... because that Socrates was an idiot, too' / and, oh ... shut up, Voice[1], and, yes, yes, yes[2], and, well, well ...[1], and ... 'You're in good company, boss ... because that Socrates was an idiot, too' / and, oh ... shut up, Voice[2], and, ah ... the world today[1], and, well, well ...[2], and if you think you know something, ha, ha, ha ... there are a lot of demons who will use you[1], and, ah ... the world today[2], and you'll never need a job ...[1], and if you think you know something, ha, ha, ha ... there are a lot of demons who will use you[2], and if anyone asks ... pretend you're dumb[1], and you'll never need a job ...[2], and the best thing you can hope for is ... an isolated cave with your name on it[1], and if anyone asks ... pretend you're dumb[2], and, so ...[1], and the best thing you can hope for is ... an isolated cave with your name on it[2], and a-ROUND here ... it looks more attractive than ever, doesn't it?[1], and, so ...[2], and the dizzy life never gets old[1], and a-ROUND here ... it looks more attractive than ever, doesn't it?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and do you know what I mean?[1], and the dizzy life never gets old[2], and too many dull people, hoping for a miracle - and missing it ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and do you know what I mean?[2], and I'll spin some sense into those squares if I ever catch them ...[1], and too many dull people, hoping for a miracle - and missing it ...[2], and, uh, uh, yes ... a-ROUND here, like ... being all nosy, thinking they can discover my secret[1], and I'll spin some sense into those squares if I ever catch them ...[2], and this is better than any rainbow[1], and, uh, uh, yes ... a-ROUND here, like ... being all nosy, thinking they can discover my secret[2], and kooks like us, you, me ... we make our own luck, don't we?[1], and this is better than any rainbow[2], and ... in some ways it's harder than rocket science[1], and kooks like us, you, me ... we make our own luck, don't we?[2], and, so ... stay lucky![1], and ... in some ways it's harder than rocket science[2], and, well ...[3], and, so ... stay lucky![2], and life is so complicated, man[3], and any sensible person can't be expected to know ... anything, really[3], and, oh ... I know that, yes[3], and those slags who reckon they know, uh ... everything, Christ ... are filthy liars, believe me[3], and they're obviously running some sort of scam[3], and were YOU(!) born yesterday?[3], and, listen to me, you little spinning freak(s) ... I was born a billion years ago, at least, and what do I know?[3], and ... 'Tell us!'[3], and I know, I know, I know ... N  O  T  H  I  N  G - !!![3], and, yes, yes, yes[3], and ... 'You're in good company, boss ... because that Socrates was an idiot, too' / and, oh ... shut up, Voice[3], and, well, well ...[3], and, ah ... the world today[3], and if you think you know something, ha, ha, ha ... there are a lot of demons who will use you[3], and you'll never need a job ...[3], and if anyone asks ... pretend you're dumb[3], and the best thing you can hope for is ... an isolated cave with your name on it[3], and, so ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... it looks more attractive than ever, doesn't it?[3], and the dizzy life never gets old[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and do you know what I mean?[3], and too many dull people, hoping for a miracle - and missing it ...[3], and I'll spin some sense into those squares if I ever catch them ...[3], and, uh, uh, yes ... a-ROUND here, like ... being all nosy, thinking they can discover my secret[3], and this is better than any rainbow[3], and kooks like us, you, me ... we make our own luck, don't we?[3], and ... in some ways it's harder than rocket science[3], and, so ... stay lucky![3], and

Reuters says I'm invited

Yeah, yeah. 'Great, boss!' Yeah, yeah. I'm going up in the world, Voice. I'm so happy. 'You don't sound it.' I just want The Thing to be over, you dig? 'Yeah.' I mean, Bournemouth beach was absolutely packed yesterday. 'Christ.' All those people will be taking The Thing back to their towns and cities now to spread it around even more. 'All thanks to the government!' Well, they're not helping, are they?

Listen! I know the Hong Kong flu killed about eighty thousand people in Britain in 1968/69, and we didn't shut anything down then, BUT(!) ...

Never mind. Let's do this PR email ...

Virtual Event
What will change
Dealmaking In The Post-Thing Era
Date and time
Wednesday, May 27th, 2020
11:00AM-12:00PM EDT
REGISTER NOW

Okay, okay. It's virtual, dear reader(s), as you would expect. 'Are you going to register, boss?' No. 'But, uh ... they've just ordered you to, with capital letters.' Ha! I don't take my orders from Reuters, Voice. 'Oh.' No. I take my orders from the cosmos.

Anyway ...

A conversation on how the need to create more resilient companies will shape mergers and acquisitions, capital raising and the conduct of shareholder activists after the Great Lockdown. Please join Reuters Breakingviews Global Editor Rob Cox and Deals Editor Lauren Silva Laughlin for a wide-ranging, virtual discussion with a panel of financial experts.

Listen! I hope everyone has a great time, but I'm washing my hair.

The one-hour debate will include Leon Kalvaria, chairman of the Institutional Clients Group at Citigroup; David A. Katz, a partner at leading Wall Street law firm Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz; and Kristin DeClark, co-head of U.S. equity capital markets and global head of technology ECM at Barclays in New York.

Okay, okay. Well, as I say ... I hope everyone has a great time.

Where do they get their enthusiasm from? Seriously!

...

Anything else? I might watch Fandango later, if I can stay awake. I mean, I don't get enough sleep at night, so I keep falling asleep at strange times. But no blackout tunes lately, which is a shame.

All the Fandango fans are meeting up again in September. 'Are you going?' I'd like to. Maybe one day. It bothers me though that they mention going for three chili dogs and a malt, or going to a steakhouse for dinner. I'm a vegetarian. 'You can have a veggie burger, Mikey.' Yeah, right. I don't want a bunch of Texans staring at me while I eat a veggie burger, man. I haven't got a death wish.

What ... else?

Music? My music?! In theory, I can record my demo anytime now. I'm as smooth a performer as anyone, really. I've got great songs. My shit is together. But I don't know, kook(s). I just don't know. You know?

Oh, there's an actor, Pepe Serna, who has appeared in Car Wash, Scarface, and ... [drum roll] ... Fandango - !!! Pretty cool, eh?

Laters!

Monday 25 May 2020

GigaPlant

What's that?! ... 'Er ...' / Do you want me to tell you, Voice? 'Go on then, boss.' It's a big plant. A massive pot plant. Probably too big to keep in the house. 'Oh.' Yeah.

Here's the email ...

London, 20.05.20: AMTE Power and Britishvolt are pleased to announce plans to investigate collaborating to build the UK's first full cycle battery cell GigaPlant, servicing the automotive and energy storage markets. Both parties have signed a memorandum of understanding (MoU) focussed on each other's complementary ambitions to create and expand an onshore manufacturing supply chain. The successful outcome of the collaboration would enable scalable production of a diverse product portfolio of lithium ion batteries to support the country's Road to Zero targets and unprecedented transition to electrification.

Er ... 'It's not a massive pot plant, is it?' No, no. I lied. 'You didn't lie. You didn't read the email, did you?' I'm a busy man. Christ!

Come on, Kevin. Help me out.

Kevin Brundish, CEO at AMTE Power comments: "We are delighted to be working with Britishvolt exploring the creation of a large scale manufacturing facility in the UK, and thank APC for introducing us. The recent global crisis has further highlighted the importance of having a robust onshore supply chain, and the creation of a GigaPlant would place the UK in a strong position to service automotive and energy storage markets. The scalable production of lithium ion cells is key to electrifying vehicles and would drive new manufacturing revenues and new employment, and can be built on AMTE's focus on the supply of specialized cells, thereby continuing the country's tradition of excellence in battery cell innovation."

You see? Years ago, this would have been nuts, dear reader(s), but our Elon has changed everything. 'He's a visionary, boss.' Tell me about it!

Uh. I suppose Lars wants to say something now. 'It's only fair. You've let Kevin speak.' Yeah. Voices, voices, voices. When will the voices ever stop?

Come on, Lars.

Lars Carlstrom, CEO at Britishvolt, comments: "Aligning our objectives with AMTE Power, who are looking to add to their current manufacturing capabilities in the UK, our ambition is to build a 30+ gigawatt hour factory with the support of the British Government, creating up to 4,000 jobs in the process. Meeting Road to Zero targets and moving the UK into a low carbon economy will necessitate the unprecedented electrification of vehicles, and reliance on renewable energy will require extensive battery storage. It is costly and carbon-intensive to have lithium ion batteries imported from the Far East, and this GigaPlant would cement a solid onshore supply chain to ensure quality and eliminate future uncertainty of supply."

Okay, okay.

ENDS

'What about Ian?' Oh, for fuc -

Come on, Ian.

Ian Constance, CEO of APC, comments: "Positive changes in consumer perception leading to increased demand and technological advances in battery innovation make for a healthy electric vehicle landscape. The UK is a highly credible location for green growth investment. It has a rich and diverse supply chain, a rapidly decarbonizing energy supply and an innovation culture, and government support through a strong industrial strategy. As the pace and scale of change accelerates towards new net zero targets the UK is in a prime position to design, develop, manufacture and export high-value battery technologies. It is a positive testament that AMTE power and Britishvolt recognise the full potential of the UK and have identified it as a priority for their battery industrialization explorations."

ENDS - !!!

...

Anything else? Music? Listen! I still want to get an electro-acoustic guitar, but I'm thinking now that it would be a mistake to buy the Yamaha A3R because it's all solid wood. This means it's difficult to look after with heat and humidity and changing weather, etc. Cheaper guitars like my FG730s have laminate sides, so they don't crack so easily. Most big stars like Neil Young or Noel Gallagher have top-of-the-range guitars, BUT(!) ... they also have technicians to look after the guitars. Do you know what I mean? At least I'll be able to save a bit of money by getting a cheaper one at maybe, uh ... £500? I don't know. [Or I could go to Cornwall instead - if things get better with The Thing. There might be a vaccine by September.] Oh, surprisingly, that little guitar that Ed Sheeran plays has laminate sides. And he can afford any guitars he wants.

Actually, I will only need an electro-acoustic if I'm going into a recording studio. The FG730s is okay if I'm recording at home.

Well ... it's something to talk/write about, ain't it?

Uh. What else? Car Wash ... ? I bought it for my phone. It's another one of those films I watched over a hundred times in my teenage years. And, yes, the script is burnt into my consciousness.

Classic lines like ...

There ain't no black superman, man.

He got a piece of chicken, caught right here.

I want to work with the men, dad.

What kinda wings?

Yeah, scum, scum.

You gotta tell me something, make me understand.

It's piss.

You better get off of my case, Earl. My name is Abdullah Muhammad Akbar, alright?

Well, praise this car, honey.

I like your hair, man. It's bad, it's bad.

Er, obviously ... you've got to hear the lines in context, kook(s).

Laters!

Thursday 21 May 2020

Yeah, I'm writing about music

So what? I wrote about finance this morning. I'm not a lunatic. I don't want to write about finance all the time. Christ.

Anyway, I'm listening to Daryl Hall and John Oates, some of their best songs ...

She's Gone
Rich Girl
Kiss On My List
Maneater
Out of Touch

The last one is their very best one, I reckon.

...

If it wasn't for this lockdown, ah ... I'd have the enthusiasm for recording my new demo. Ha!

I'm sounding rather "commercial" these days. Which is amazing to me, considering I was struggling to sound as "competent" as Dylan a few years ago.

Go, go, go! Thank God for that vocal strengthening video on YouTube!

[And all the guitar practice, of course.]

...

Oh, I've put the old plastic saddle back on my acoustic guitar. The problem with the Tusq saddle is ... I shaved too much off it, and ruined it, basically. Maybe you don't even need one on a cheap guitar like the Yamaha FG730s. / I'm still dreaming of the A3R - !!!

...

Listening to the last three songs on the above list is sort of making me nostalgic for the Eighties. Is that wise? I don't know.

...

What else can I put on? A few of Bowie's best songs from the Eighties? All right ...

Absolute Beginners. / The 5.37 version, not the radio edit or video version. This is perhaps his best song. Definitely his best from the Eighties.

Let's Dance. / I bet RCA were gutted when they heard this. I mean, he went off to EMI with his new, commercial sound.

Modern Love. / An underrated classic.

Loving The Alien. / No. I haven't got it on my media player. I'm sure it's on YouTube. It's the best song from the pretty awful Tonight album.

That's enough.

...

I'm not in the mood for listening now.

...

And Rain Came Down is still my favourite of all my songs. I want another two like it.

Er ...

In the same sort of way that Kiss On My List is similar to Out of Touch. You know what I mean, don't you? I don't mean exact copies. Same type.

...

Those audiobooks? I don't know, man. I don't think I will be able to fully motivate myself until I get a recording deal.

I need to get out of this environment! It's doing my head in. Do you know what I mean?

Fortunately, And Rain Came Down is ... written. You dig? It can't be taken away. It exists. It can't disappear. Forget the other two I'm yearning for. Just this one song gives me a power over life that I didn't have before.

That's got to be some consolation, ain't it?

Laters.

How can a rocking horse lend money?

I just don't understand.

Listen! If you're in Richmond, and you're a bit nosy ... you can look through people's living room windows and often catch a glimpse of a rocking horse. 'Ha! These people, boss.' Yes, Voice. That's the sort of people who live in Richmond. 'Ponces.' Oh, I wouldn't say that, man. Come on! 'Do they buy them for their children, boss? Because, you know ... most normal parents buy their children playstations. Stuff like that. I'm just saying.' Christ! Don't judge them. 'Well ...' Live and let live! That's what I say. Come on!

Of course, none of this, uh, that ... explains how a rocking horse is able to lend money to businesses. The whole thing is a mystery.

Anyway, I have this PR email from last week ...

UK Innovation funder Rocking Horse has today announced a multi-million-pound partnership with London-based specialist investment firm Quilam Capital who have provided a committed facility to enable it to assist the millions of UK SMEs who are eligible for around £22 billion worth of Government R&D tax credits or Innovate UK grant schemes, with advance funding to support their growth and development.

Okay, okay. It sounds ... "interesting".

Rocking Horse provides unique loan solutions at competitive rates with no monthly capital payments to SME's which are secured against R&D tax credits and Innovate UK grant regimes. The loans are then repaid when the funding comes through. It anticipates that the loans will range from £50k to £1m plus.

So ... 'Is it an actual rocking horse, boss?' I have no idea, Voice.

Rocking Horse focuses on UK SME businesses that are loss-making and often excluded by traditional banks and online lending infrastructure, filling a major gap in the innovation economy. It provides quick access to capital to further business growth and development, enabling UK SME's to fuel their expansion and ultimately create opportunities for further financing and investment.

Absolutely bizarre! It's basically a big piece of wood in the shape of a horse, and now they're asking us to believe that such a thing can focus on UK SME businesses. 'I'd be surprised if it could focus on anything.' Yeah. 'Having said that ... maybe it comes alive at night.' What?! 'It could be some sort of mystical monster thing. Like those scarecrows.' What fucking scarecrows?! 'Those scarecrows you wrote about years ago. In that factory. You know, Scarecrow World.' Ha! I wasn't being serious, man.

Anyway, let's see if Toby Walker can make some sense ...

Toby Walker, Director at Rocking Horse, says: "We are extremely excited about our new partnership with Quilam and the opportunity to fuel and accelerate the growth of the UK SME and Innovation economies. Our ambition is to become the leading innovation financier to the 3.5 million SME's in the UK and provide continued capital, support and expertise to accelerate growth within this sector."

Delusional!

Sarah? ...

Sarah Watts, Director at Quilam, adds: "The Quilam team has extensive experience in the UK SME lending market and the Rocking Horse proposition fills an important gap to provide instant cash for UK firms investing in innovation. Accelerating this cashflow can play a crucial role for SMEs maintaining growth, delivering contracts and ultimately continuing to play their vital role in the UK economy. This is the best management team to deliver this product and we are delighted to support Rocking Horse on this journey."

Delighted to support a rocking horse on a journey! I've heard it all now!

ENDS

...

And the ENDS couldn't come soon enough, believe me.

Tuesday 19 May 2020

[No. 805] My brain has been wrecked by motivational audiobooks

I can't think straight!

And, uh ...[1], and, uh, uh ...[1], and, uh ...[2], and it could be worse ... ?[1], and, uh, uh ...[2], and, oh, oh, oh ... I could have NO BRAIN ... just like so many others these days, ha, ha, ha![1], and it could be worse ... ?[2], and ... who am I?![1], and, oh, oh, oh ... I could have NO BRAIN ... just like so many others these days, ha, ha, ha![2], and, well ... my feelings, moods, are mine[1], and ... who am I?![2], and, Jordan, Grant, Elon, David ... anyone else what a piece of my soul?[1], and, well ... my feelings, moods, are mine[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes so much sense when you're as confused as I am[1], and, Jordan, Grant, Elon, David ... anyone else what a piece of my soul?[2], and I'm really, uh ... enjoying myself, yes![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes so much sense when you're as confused as I am[2], and I look at the world ...[1], and I'm really, uh ... enjoying myself, yes![2], and my only consolation is ... I'm as dizzy as fuck right now[1], and I look at the world ...[2], and one day, I'll look in the mirror ... and see a brand new human being, a super being, made to order[1], and my only consolation is ... I'm as dizzy as fuck right now[2], and the cosmos helps those who help themselves ...[1], and one day, I'll look in the mirror ... and see a brand new human being, a sup er be ing, made to order[2], and ... I have the technology![1], and the cosmos helps those who help themselves ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... the good times spin[1], and ... I have the technology![2], and I don't know if I'm a samurai, a shaman, or what ... and does it matter?[1], and a-ROUND here ... the good times spin[2], and we are all nothing at the end of time ...[1], and I don't know if I'm a samurai, a shaman, or what ... and does it matter?[2], and I know the secret ... that no one possesses their own consciousness ness BECAUSE everything is chaos[1], and we are all nothing at the end of time ...[2], and it flows in, and it flows out ... and who are you?[1], and I know the secret ... that no one possesses their own consciousness ness BECAUSE everything is chaos[2], and you have all kinds of absurd ideas about yourself - you're incorrigible![1], and it flows in, and it flows out ... and who are you?[2], and I know exactly who you are ... NO ONE - !!![1], and you have all kinds of absurd ideas about yourself - you're incorrigible![2], and believe it or not ... there is no reason to be sad / and it's all perfectly natural, actually[1], and I know exactly who you are ... NO ONE - !!![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've been lied to, oh yes[1], and believe it or not ... there is no reason to be sad / and it's all perfectly natural, actually[2], and I've been sent here to set you free / and yet ... you love your cage, don't you? Ah, flesh and bones[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've been lied to, oh yes[2], and I'd like to give up ...[1], and I've been sent here to set you free / and yet ... you love your cage, don't you? Ah, flesh and bones[2], and a-ROUND here ... what are the chances?[1], and I'd like to give up ...[2], and I have my orders[1], and a-ROUND here ... what are the chances?[2], and, uh ...[3], and I have my orders[2], and, uh, uh ...[3], and it could be worse ... ?[3], and, oh, oh, oh ... I could have NO BRAIN ... just like so many others these days, ha, ha, ha![3], and ... who am I?![3], and, well ... my feelings, moods, are mine[3], and, Jordan, Grant, Elon, David ... anyone else what a piece of my soul?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes so much sense when you're as confused as I am[3], and I'm really, uh ... enjoying myself, yes![3], and I look at the world ...[3], and my only consolation is ... I'm as dizzy as fuck right now[3], and one day, I'll look in the mirror ... and see a brand new human being, a s  u  p  e  r b  e  i  n  g, made to order[3], and the cosmos helps those who help themselves ...[3], and ... I have the technology![3], and a-ROUND here ... the good times spin[3], and I don't know if I'm a samurai, a shaman, or what ... and does it matter?[3], and we are all nothing at the end of time ...[3], and I know the secret ... that no one possesses their own consciousness ness BECAUSE everything is chaos[3], and it flows in, and it flows out ... and who are you?[3], and you have all kinds of absurd ideas about yourself - you're incorrigible![3], and I know exactly who you are ... NO ONE - !!![3], and believe it or not ... there is no reason to be sad / and it's all perfectly natural, actually[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've been lied to, oh yes[3], and I've been sent here to set you free / and yet ... you love your cage, don't you? Ah, flesh and bones[3], and I'd like to give up ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... what are the chances?[3], and I have my orders[3], and

And, uh ...[1], and, uh, uh ...[1], and, uh ...[2], and it could be worse ... ?[1], and, uh, uh ...[2], and, oh, oh, oh ... I could have NO BRAIN ... just like so many others these days, ha, ha, ha![1], and it could be worse ... ?[2], and ... who am I?![1], and, oh, oh, oh ... I could have NO BRAIN ... just like so many others these days, ha, ha, ha![2], and, well ... my feelings, moods, are mine[1], and ... who am I?![2], and, Jordan, Grant, Elon, David ... anyone else what a piece of my soul?[1], and, well ... my feelings, moods, are mine[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes so much sense when you're as confused as I am[1], and, Jordan, Grant, Elon, David ... anyone else what a piece of my soul?[2], and I'm really, uh ... enjoying myself, yes![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes so much sense when you're as confused as I am[2], and I look at the world ...[1], and I'm really, uh ... enjoying myself, yes![2], and my only consolation is ... I'm as dizzy as fuck right now[1], and I look at the world ...[2], and one day, I'll look in the mirror ... and see a brand new human being, a super being, made to order[1], and my only consolation is ... I'm as dizzy as fuck right now[2], and the cosmos helps those who help themselves ...[1], and one day, I'll look in the mirror ... and see a brand new human being, a sup er be ing, made to order[2], and ... I have the technology![1], and the cosmos helps those who help themselves ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... the good times spin[1], and ... I have the technology![2], and I don't know if I'm a samurai, a shaman, or what ... and does it matter?[1], and a-ROUND here ... the good times spin[2], and we are all nothing at the end of time ...[1], and I don't know if I'm a samurai, a shaman, or what ... and does it matter?[2], and I know the secret ... that no one possesses their own consciousness ness BECAUSE everything is chaos[1], and we are all nothing at the end of time ...[2], and it flows in, and it flows out ... and who are you?[1], and I know the secret ... that no one possesses their own consciousness ness BECAUSE everything is chaos[2], and you have all kinds of absurd ideas about yourself - you're incorrigible![1], and it flows in, and it flows out ... and who are you?[2], and I know exactly who you are ... NO ONE - !!![1], and you have all kinds of absurd ideas about yourself - you're incorrigible![2], and believe it or not ... there is no reason to be sad / and it's all perfectly natural, actually[1], and I know exactly who you are ... NO ONE - !!![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've been lied to, oh yes[1], and believe it or not ... there is no reason to be sad / and it's all perfectly natural, actually[2], and I've been sent here to set you free / and yet ... you love your cage, don't you? Ah, flesh and bones[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've been lied to, oh yes[2], and I'd like to give up ...[1], and I've been sent here to set you free / and yet ... you love your cage, don't you? Ah, flesh and bones[2], and a-ROUND here ... what are the chances?[1], and I'd like to give up ...[2], and I have my orders[1], and a-ROUND here ... what are the chances?[2], and, uh ...[3], and I have my orders[2], and, uh, uh ...[3], and it could be worse ... ?[3], and, oh, oh, oh ... I could have NO BRAIN ... just like so many others these days, ha, ha, ha![3], and ... who am I?![3], and, well ... my feelings, moods, are mine[3], and, Jordan, Grant, Elon, David ... anyone else what a piece of my soul?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes so much sense when you're as confused as I am[3], and I'm really, uh ... enjoying myself, yes![3], and I look at the world ...[3], and my only consolation is ... I'm as dizzy as fuck right now[3], and one day, I'll look in the mirror ... and see a brand new human being, a s  u  p  e  r b  e  i  n  g, made to order[3], and the cosmos helps those who help themselves ...[3], and ... I have the technology![3], and a-ROUND here ... the good times spin[3], and I don't know if I'm a samurai, a shaman, or what ... and does it matter?[3], and we are all nothing at the end of time ...[3], and I know the secret ... that no one possesses their own consciousness ness BECAUSE everything is chaos[3], and it flows in, and it flows out ... and who are you?[3], and you have all kinds of absurd ideas about yourself - you're incorrigible![3], and I know exactly who you are ... NO ONE - !!![3], and believe it or not ... there is no reason to be sad / and it's all perfectly natural, actually[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've been lied to, oh yes[3], and I've been sent here to set you free / and yet ... you love your cage, don't you? Ah, flesh and bones[3], and I'd like to give up ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... what are the chances?[3], and I have my orders[3], and

And, uh ...[1], and, uh, uh ...[1], and, uh ...[2], and it could be worse ... ?[1], and, uh, uh ...[2], and, oh, oh, oh ... I could have NO BRAIN ... just like so many others these days, ha, ha, ha![1], and it could be worse ... ?[2], and ... who am I?![1], and, oh, oh, oh ... I could have NO BRAIN ... just like so many others these days, ha, ha, ha![2], and, well ... my feelings, moods, are mine[1], and ... who am I?![2], and, Jordan, Grant, Elon, David ... anyone else what a piece of my soul?[1], and, well ... my feelings, moods, are mine[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes so much sense when you're as confused as I am[1], and, Jordan, Grant, Elon, David ... anyone else what a piece of my soul?[2], and I'm really, uh ... enjoying myself, yes![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes so much sense when you're as confused as I am[2], and I look at the world ...[1], and I'm really, uh ... enjoying myself, yes![2], and my only consolation is ... I'm as dizzy as fuck right now[1], and I look at the world ...[2], and one day, I'll look in the mirror ... and see a brand new human being, a super being, made to order[1], and my only consolation is ... I'm as dizzy as fuck right now[2], and the cosmos helps those who help themselves ...[1], and one day, I'll look in the mirror ... and see a brand new human being, a sup er be ing, made to order[2], and ... I have the technology![1], and the cosmos helps those who help themselves ...[2], and a-ROUND here ... the good times spin[1], and ... I have the technology![2], and I don't know if I'm a samurai, a shaman, or what ... and does it matter?[1], and a-ROUND here ... the good times spin[2], and we are all nothing at the end of time ...[1], and I don't know if I'm a samurai, a shaman, or what ... and does it matter?[2], and I know the secret ... that no one possesses their own consciousness ness BECAUSE everything is chaos[1], and we are all nothing at the end of time ...[2], and it flows in, and it flows out ... and who are you?[1], and I know the secret ... that no one possesses their own consciousness ness BECAUSE everything is chaos[2], and you have all kinds of absurd ideas about yourself - you're incorrigible![1], and it flows in, and it flows out ... and who are you?[2], and I know exactly who you are ... NO ONE - !!![1], and you have all kinds of absurd ideas about yourself - you're incorrigible![2], and believe it or not ... there is no reason to be sad / and it's all perfectly natural, actually[1], and I know exactly who you are ... NO ONE - !!![2], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've been lied to, oh yes[1], and believe it or not ... there is no reason to be sad / and it's all perfectly natural, actually[2], and I've been sent here to set you free / and yet ... you love your cage, don't you? Ah, flesh and bones[1], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've been lied to, oh yes[2], and I'd like to give up ...[1], and I've been sent here to set you free / and yet ... you love your cage, don't you? Ah, flesh and bones[2], and a-ROUND here ... what are the chances?[1], and I'd like to give up ...[2], and I have my orders[1], and a-ROUND here ... what are the chances?[2], and, uh ...[3], and I have my orders[2], and, uh, uh ...[3], and it could be worse ... ?[3], and, oh, oh, oh ... I could have NO BRAIN ... just like so many others these days, ha, ha, ha![3], and ... who am I?![3], and, well ... my feelings, moods, are mine[3], and, Jordan, Grant, Elon, David ... anyone else what a piece of my soul?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes so much sense when you're as confused as I am[3], and I'm really, uh ... enjoying myself, yes![3], and I look at the world ...[3], and my only consolation is ... I'm as dizzy as fuck right now[3], and one day, I'll look in the mirror ... and see a brand new human being, a s  u  p  e  r b  e  i  n  g, made to order[3], and the cosmos helps those who help themselves ...[3], and ... I have the technology![3], and a-ROUND here ... the good times spin[3], and I don't know if I'm a samurai, a shaman, or what ... and does it matter?[3], and we are all nothing at the end of time ...[3], and I know the secret ... that no one possesses their own consciousness ness BECAUSE everything is chaos[3], and it flows in, and it flows out ... and who are you?[3], and you have all kinds of absurd ideas about yourself - you're incorrigible![3], and I know exactly who you are ... NO ONE - !!![3], and believe it or not ... there is no reason to be sad / and it's all perfectly natural, actually[3], and, but, but, BUT(!) ... you've been lied to, oh yes[3], and I've been sent here to set you free / and yet ... you love your cage, don't you? Ah, flesh and bones[3], and I'd like to give up ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... what are the chances?[3], and I have my orders[3], and

State Street announces ...

Or ...

LONDON, 14 May 2020 - State Street Corporation announced today it has entered into an alliance with Coremont to provide fully integrated outsourcing services for hedge fund managers, covering front, middle and back office operations.

Or ... it has already announced. Yes, PR email, but ... I don't know what's going on. 'You don't want to know, boss!' That's right. Ha, ha, ha! 'It's not that funny.' Oh, it is.

Little Voice. What would I do without him?

Anyway ...

This alliance combines Coremont’s portfolio management analytics and support with State Street's asset servicing and administration capabilities to power the entire investment lifecycle from trading to risk management to NAV production. The offering spans all major asset classes including Fixed Income, Currencies, Equities, and Commodities, with strong coverage in derivatives modelling and processing.

Okay, okay. So,  it's something to do with hedge funds, which is nice. When was the last time I wrote about hedge fund stuff, Voice? 'God knows.' Go and ask Him then. 'You talk to Him. He's your mate.' Hardly.

I wonder what Paul makes of all this ... 'Are you going to speak to him?' No. But he's going to speak to us. Just a feeling.

"This announcement marks a transformation in how hedge funds can be serviced, highlighting the invaluable insights data can bring when combined with new technologies," says Paul Fleming, global head of Alternative Investment Services at State Street. "Through this solution we are providing our clients with a single, consolidated set of records between portfolio managers and administrators, ensuring greater transparency and reduction of errors."

Thanks, Paul! 'Can he hear you, boss?' I don't know. Does it matter? Uh. I don't care. It doesn't matter who hears or doesn't hear.

Now, Jev?

"This alliance represents the fruit of our long-standing collaboration with State Street," says Jev Mehmet, chief executive officer at Coremont. "It underlines our shared commitment to technological and operational excellence in the support of emerging and established managers of all styles and asset classes."

Okay. Okay. Thank you, Jev. Good luck with it. / 'You've got to wonder where these voices come from, boss, haven't you?' Ha! I've got to wonder where you come from, Voice. Seriously.

...

Anything else?

Moods.

Moods change. We all know that. Are we the same person though ... when they change?

Maybe there is no person, ever. It's an illusion. Just because a personality seems to be trapped inside a body. Human beings getting big ideas about nothing. Thoughts are not theirs. Emotions are not theirs.

It all makes sense, if you are ... "me".

That's why I don't want any ridiculous stories. The people who need stories should grow up.

If you've got no thoughts, and no emotions, how can you expect stories?

Nothing belongs to you. The words are just passing through, yes, a-ROUND. You don't own them. You can't make sense of them unless ... you're some kind of cretin. An arrogant fool.

Let them come, and let them go. Enjoy the sounds. But try to be aloof. The cosmos? It might be your friend, sure. But maybe it wants to destroy you. Or at least control you. Or maybe I'm being paranoid.

So, yes, yes ... No. 805 will be coming later. More comedy. More tragedy. I can't even tell the difference these days.

Monday 18 May 2020

[No. 804] Without haste, but without rest

Nice one, Goethe!

And that quote will help, yes[1], and I'm in no rush to meet my destiny, no, no, no, but, but, BUT(!) ... I'm not a lazy character neither[1], and that quote will help, yes[2], and ... Do you know what I mean?[1], and I'm in no rush to meet my des tiny, no, no, no, but, but, BUT(!) ... I'm not a lazy character neither[2], and this is nice and easy, actually ... or it can be, at times, yes[1], and ... Do you know what I mean?[2], and all the other stuff, away from here, Christ ... a lot of hard work![1], and this is nice and easy, actually ... or it can be, at times, yes[2], and, whatever ... you know?[1], and all the other stuff, away from here, Christ ... a lot of hard work![2], and that quote will help, yes[3], and, whatever ... you know?[2], and I'm in no rush to meet my d  e  s  t  i  n  y, no, no, no, but, but, BUT(!) ... I'm not a lazy character neither[3], and ... Do you know what I mean?[3], and this is nice and easy, actually ... or it can be, at times, yes[3], and all the other stuff, away from here, Christ ... a lot of hard work![3], and, whatever ... you know?[3], and

And that quote will help, yes[1], and I'm in no rush to meet my destiny, no, no, no, but, but, BUT(!) ... I'm not a lazy character neither[1], and that quote will help, yes[2], and ... Do you know what I mean?[1], and I'm in no rush to meet my des tiny, no, no, no, but, but, BUT(!) ... I'm not a lazy character neither[2], and this is nice and easy, actually ... or it can be, at times, yes[1], and ... Do you know what I mean?[2], and all the other stuff, away from here, Christ ... a lot of hard work![1], and this is nice and easy, actually ... or it can be, at times, yes[2], and, whatever ... you know?[1], and all the other stuff, away from here, Christ ... a lot of hard work![2], and that quote will help, yes[3], and, whatever ... you know?[2], and I'm in no rush to meet my d  e  s  t  i  n  y, no, no, no, but, but, BUT(!) ... I'm not a lazy character neither[3], and ... Do you know what I mean?[3], and this is nice and easy, actually ... or it can be, at times, yes[3], and all the other stuff, away from here, Christ ... a lot of hard work![3], and, whatever ... you know?[3], and

And that quote will help, yes[1], and I'm in no rush to meet my destiny, no, no, no, but, but, BUT(!) ... I'm not a lazy character neither[1], and that quote will help, yes[2], and ... Do you know what I mean?[1], and I'm in no rush to meet my des tiny, no, no, no, but, but, BUT(!) ... I'm not a lazy character neither[2], and this is nice and easy, actually ... or it can be, at times, yes[1], and ... Do you know what I mean?[2], and all the other stuff, away from here, Christ ... a lot of hard work![1], and this is nice and easy, actually ... or it can be, at times, yes[2], and, whatever ... you know?[1], and all the other stuff, away from here, Christ ... a lot of hard work![2], and that quote will help, yes[3], and, whatever ... you know?[2], and I'm in no rush to meet my d  e  s  t  i  n  y, no, no, no, but, but, BUT(!) ... I'm not a lazy character neither[3], and ... Do you know what I mean?[3], and this is nice and easy, actually ... or it can be, at times, yes[3], and all the other stuff, away from here, Christ ... a lot of hard work![3], and, whatever ... you know?[3], and

Drama queen

Okay, okay. I have a PR email from our Jinksy. 'Oh, good.' Yes, Voice.

As the latest round of Brexit negotiations end in stalemate, ParcelHero warns the second wave of The Thing could reach its peak in the UK by New Year, just as Britain crashes out of the EU. The international courier urges that Brexit must be postponed to avoid manufacturers and retailers suffering a huge slump in demand abroad just as a second lockdown starts at home.

Well, okay. Listen! We don't know if there's going to be a second wave of The Thing yet. I mean, I've been seeing some positive news lately. 'Like what, boss?' Like, uh ... The Thing might burn itself out. Some professor or scientist or whatever was saying the other day that The Thing doesn't like heat or humidity. 'Okay.' Also, some other cats were saying that nineteen million people in the UK might have had it already. 'What cats?' Scientist cats. 'Okay.' Also, the government is saying we might have a vaccine by September. 'Great!' Yeah. BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT ... there are no guarantees, man. 'Of course not.' We don't know what's going to happen. Some people are being a bit positive about it all, that's all. We should still prepare for a second wave.

Anyway ...

This week's talks ended with the UK Chief Negotiator, David Frost, saying: "We have made very little progress towards agreement on the most significant outstanding issues between us" and the EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier confirming little progress has been made, and the EU and UK's positions are 'very divergent' on key areas.

I'll tell you the truth ... 'Go on then.' I never, never, never, never, never, never ... want to hear Brexit mentioned again. Never!

Anyway ...

ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT, says: "Vital Brexit negotiations had to be conducted by video link this week, hardly ideal for such sensitive and critical discussions. They ended in acrimony with the  EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier saying progress had been disappointing. 'Why should we help British businesses promote their services in Europe, when we have no guarantee our businesses will get similar treatment in the UK?' he asked."

Oh, Christ. Okay.

"We are facing a financial disaster and it is time to end political posturing and face reality. If the UK does suffer a second wave of The Thing, it is likely to peak around the end of December. Some experts fear it will necessitate a second lockdown period, closing stores once again. This would correspond with Britain's departure from the European Union on January 1st. Progress on Brexit talks this week  seems to have been like extracting teeth. What this means is a double hit to domestic sales and overseas sales for Britain's retailers and manufacturers, who are already punch-drunk from this year's events."

Right.

"Yesterday the World Health Organization's Regional Director for Europe, Dr Hans Kluge, warned that the UK and its European neighbours should prepare for a deadlier second wave of The Thing this winter. He revealed there are now new cases in places where The Thing had apparently disappeared, such as Wuhan and South Korea. And the UK's own Chief Medical Officer, Professor Chris Whitty, said in an online lecture yesterday that The Thing may be more severe and spread more rapidly in a second peak during the winter."

Okay, okay. That's enough. Thanks, Jinksy.

ENDS

...

Anything else?

"Without haste, but without rest."

Goethe said that. And it's good advice.

If you rush around like a madman, you're going to wear yourself out. So slow down a bit. However, don't rest! Do you understand?

One day, we will all rest, and we won't like it. Believe me.

Let's stay active!