Who is Marci Lauren Riddell?

Who is she? No one seems to know. 'You don't seem to know, you mean.' All right, Voice. I don't seem to know. Are you happy now? / Actually, I'm happy because it means I can work my magic. I love a blank canvas!

Marci Lauren Riddell has gone to work at Sorin Capital Management. 'Never heard of it, Mikey.' Neither have I. But I'm sure the firm exists. I'm sure it has funds and stuff. 'Oh, see if you can dig this, man - Sorin Capital Management takes a fundamental private equity investment approach to the CMBS and REIT sectors with an intermediate investment horizon. Does that mean anything to you?' No. Why would it? 'You're hard to please, boss.' I'm not in the mood this morning, man ...

However, I will struggle on ... / Marci has worked at Optima Fund Management. Marci has worked at SAC Capital Advisors. She's into marketing and business development. ('Oh.' Someone's got to do it.) And Sorin has $550 million in assets under management ... maybe more, I don't know.

...

There's nothing else I can say. I'm feeling depressed. (Not happy at all.) No particular reason. It just hits me sometimes.

Maybe a blank canvas should stay blank. Saying nothing, knowing nothing, will be my masterpiece.

Unfortunately, I have to write a conceptual this afternoon, No. 258. Don't ask me why. I just have to do it.

I'll take Marci for a spin. It might make me feel better. 'It might make Marci feel better.' Yeah.

...

Lunch? Cheese sandwich. Anything else you need to know about my private life, dear reader(s)? The fucking nerve of you people ...

Guitar? Well, well, er ... it's a busy blogging day, but I'll fit a bit in. / Ten weeks to Christmas! I'll be all right by then: a solid rhythm player, and a very good lead player.

Next year I'll take it to the David Gilmour level ... and maybe beyond. Eric Clapton? You never know. Watch this space! I'm feeling a bit happier now ...

[No. 257] Nothing to fear ...

... and everything to fear.

And / ... / it's nothing/everything[1], and / ... / we can escape ... yes, we can hide for a while or even ... FOREVER!!![1], and / ... / it's nothing/everything[2], and bad people have made the world bad[1], and / ... / we can escape ... yes, we can hide for a while or even ... FOREVER!!![2], and I'll tell you the truth, dear spinner(s) ... I'm very confused by everyone's fear[1], and bad people have made the world bad[2], and confusion can be a beautiful thing out of the world ... so, I'm getting DIZZY[1], and I'll tell you the truth, dear spinner(s) ... I'm very confused by everyone's fear[2], and I see YOU(!) ... grinning, drooling ... well, well, well ... it seems you've beaten me to it[1], and confusion can be a beautiful thing out of the world ... so, I'm getting DIZZY[2], and / ... / Has anyone been beyond the THREE yet?[1], and I see YOU(!) ... grinning, drooling ... well, well, well ... it seems you've beaten me to it[2], and / ... / NO DEMONS ALLOWED![1], and / ... / Has anyone been beyond the THREE yet?[2], and a-ROUND we are, away ... a-ROUND, and away ... here ... and a-ROUND, almost gone[1], and / ... / NO DEMONS ALLOWED![2], and / ... / Anything ... to  ... fear? / well, my ears can hear the earth buzzing or something buzzing[1], and a-ROUND we are, away ... a-ROUND, and away ... here ... and a-ROUND, almost gone[2], and / ... / 'Oh man, such anxiety, I don't like it ... is this silence golden?' / No, no, no ...[1], and / ... / Anything ... to  ... fear? / well, my ears can hear the earth buzzing or something buzzing[2], and I've brought my guitar along ... 'Yippee!' ... / I'll get the distortion up real hot ... / HOT(!) enough for you?[1], and / ... / 'Oh man, such anxiety, I don't like it ... is this silence golden?' / No, no, no ...[2], and YOU(!), spinner(s) ... can bang a gong![1], and I've brought my guitar along ... 'Yippee!' ... / I'll get the distortion up real hot ... / HOT(!) enough for you?[2], and with this noise - feel it in your bones - we'll drown out ... all our fears[1], and YOU(!), spinner(s) ... can bang a gong![2], and let our enemies be afraid ...[1], and with this noise - feel it in your bones - we'll drown out ... all our fears[2], and the SQUARE killers fear this ... the newness, the unusualness, the audacity, and the sheer fucking insanity of it![1], and let our enemies be afraid ...[2], and ... we'll never stop![1], and the SQUARE killers fear this ... the newness, the unusualness, the audacity, and the sheer fucking insanity of it![2], and / ... / it's nothing/everything[3], and ... we'll never stop![2], and / ... / we can escape ... yes, we can hide for a while or even ... FOREVER!!![3], and bad people have made the world bad[3], and I'll tell you the truth, dear spinner(s) ... I'm very confused by everyone's fear[3], and confusion can be a beautiful thing out of the world ... so, I'm getting DIZZY[3], and I see YOU(!) ... grinning, drooling ... well, well, well ... it seems you've beaten me to it[3], and / ... / Has anyone been beyond the THREE yet?[3], and / ... / NO DEMONS ALLOWED![3], and a-ROUND we are, away ... a-ROUND, and away ... here ... and a-ROUND, almost gone[3], and / ... / Anything ... to  ... fear? / well, my ears can hear the earth buzzing or something buzzing[3], and / ... / 'Oh man, such anxiety, I don't like it ... is this silence golden?' / No, no, no ...[3], and I've brought my guitar along ... 'Yippee!' ... / I'll get the distortion up real hot ... / HOT(!) enough for you?[3], and YOU(!), spinner(s) ... can bang a gong![3], and with this noise - feel it in your bones - we'll drown out ... all our fears[3], and let our enemies be afraid ...[3], and the SQUARE killers fear this ... the newness, the unusualness, the audacity, and the sheer fucking insanity of it![3], and ... we'll never stop![3], and

And / ... / it's nothing/everything[1], and / ... / we can escape ... yes, we can hide for a while or even ... FOREVER!!![1], and / ... / it's nothing/everything[2], and bad people have made the world bad[1], and / ... / we can escape ... yes, we can hide for a while or even ... FOREVER!!![2], and I'll tell you the truth, dear spinner(s) ... I'm very confused by everyone's fear[1], and bad people have made the world bad[2], and confusion can be a beautiful thing out of the world ... so, I'm getting DIZZY[1], and I'll tell you the truth, dear spinner(s) ... I'm very confused by everyone's fear[2], and I see YOU(!) ... grinning, drooling ... well, well, well ... it seems you've beaten me to it[1], and confusion can be a beautiful thing out of the world ... so, I'm getting DIZZY[2], and / ... / Has anyone been beyond the THREE yet?[1], and I see YOU(!) ... grinning, drooling ... well, well, well ... it seems you've beaten me to it[2], and / ... / NO DEMONS ALLOWED![1], and / ... / Has anyone been beyond the THREE yet?[2], and a-ROUND we are, away ... a-ROUND, and away ... here ... and a-ROUND, almost gone[1], and / ... / NO DEMONS ALLOWED![2], and / ... / Anything ... to  ... fear? / well, my ears can hear the earth buzzing or something buzzing[1], and a-ROUND we are, away ... a-ROUND, and away ... here ... and a-ROUND, almost gone[2], and / ... / 'Oh man, such anxiety, I don't like it ... is this silence golden?' / No, no, no ...[1], and / ... / Anything ... to  ... fear? / well, my ears can hear the earth buzzing or something buzzing[2], and I've brought my guitar along ... 'Yippee!' ... / I'll get the distortion up real hot ... / HOT(!) enough for you?[1], and / ... / 'Oh man, such anxiety, I don't like it ... is this silence golden?' / No, no, no ...[2], and YOU(!), spinner(s) ... can bang a gong![1], and I've brought my guitar along ... 'Yippee!' ... / I'll get the distortion up real hot ... / HOT(!) enough for you?[2], and with this noise - feel it in your bones - we'll drown out ... all our fears[1], and YOU(!), spinner(s) ... can bang a gong![2], and let our enemies be afraid ...[1], and with this noise - feel it in your bones - we'll drown out ... all our fears[2], and the SQUARE killers fear this ... the newness, the unusualness, the audacity, and the sheer fucking insanity of it![1], and let our enemies be afraid ...[2], and ... we'll never stop![1], and the SQUARE killers fear this ... the newness, the unusualness, the audacity, and the sheer fucking insanity of it![2], and / ... / it's nothing/everything[3], and ... we'll never stop![2], and / ... / we can escape ... yes, we can hide for a while or even ... FOREVER!!![3], and bad people have made the world bad[3], and I'll tell you the truth, dear spinner(s) ... I'm very confused by everyone's fear[3], and confusion can be a beautiful thing out of the world ... so, I'm getting DIZZY[3], and I see YOU(!) ... grinning, drooling ... well, well, well ... it seems you've beaten me to it[3], and / ... / Has anyone been beyond the THREE yet?[3], and / ... / NO DEMONS ALLOWED![3], and a-ROUND we are, away ... a-ROUND, and away ... here ... and a-ROUND, almost gone[3], and / ... / Anything ... to  ... fear? / well, my ears can hear the earth buzzing or something buzzing[3], and / ... / 'Oh man, such anxiety, I don't like it ... is this silence golden?' / No, no, no ...[3], and I've brought my guitar along ... 'Yippee!' ... / I'll get the distortion up real hot ... / HOT(!) enough for you?[3], and YOU(!), spinner(s) ... can bang a gong![3], and with this noise - feel it in your bones - we'll drown out ... all our fears[3], and let our enemies be afraid ...[3], and the SQUARE killers fear this ... the newness, the unusualness, the audacity, and the sheer fucking insanity of it![3], and ... we'll never stop![3], and

And / ... / it's nothing/everything[1], and / ... / we can escape ... yes, we can hide for a while or even ... FOREVER!!![1], and / ... / it's nothing/everything[2], and bad people have made the world bad[1], and / ... / we can escape ... yes, we can hide for a while or even ... FOREVER!!![2], and I'll tell you the truth, dear spinner(s) ... I'm very confused by everyone's fear[1], and bad people have made the world bad[2], and confusion can be a beautiful thing out of the world ... so, I'm getting DIZZY[1], and I'll tell you the truth, dear spinner(s) ... I'm very confused by everyone's fear[2], and I see YOU(!) ... grinning, drooling ... well, well, well ... it seems you've beaten me to it[1], and confusion can be a beautiful thing out of the world ... so, I'm getting DIZZY[2], and / ... / Has anyone been beyond the THREE yet?[1], and I see YOU(!) ... grinning, drooling ... well, well, well ... it seems you've beaten me to it[2], and / ... / NO DEMONS ALLOWED![1], and / ... / Has anyone been beyond the THREE yet?[2], and a-ROUND we are, away ... a-ROUND, and away ... here ... and a-ROUND, almost gone[1], and / ... / NO DEMONS ALLOWED![2], and / ... / Anything ... to  ... fear? / well, my ears can hear the earth buzzing or something buzzing[1], and a-ROUND we are, away ... a-ROUND, and away ... here ... and a-ROUND, almost gone[2], and / ... / 'Oh man, such anxiety, I don't like it ... is this silence golden?' / No, no, no ...[1], and / ... / Anything ... to  ... fear? / well, my ears can hear the earth buzzing or something buzzing[2], and I've brought my guitar along ... 'Yippee!' ... / I'll get the distortion up real hot ... / HOT(!) enough for you?[1], and / ... / 'Oh man, such anxiety, I don't like it ... is this silence golden?' / No, no, no ...[2], and YOU(!), spinner(s) ... can bang a gong![1], and I've brought my guitar along ... 'Yippee!' ... / I'll get the distortion up real hot ... / HOT(!) enough for you?[2], and with this noise - feel it in your bones - we'll drown out ... all our fears[1], and YOU(!), spinner(s) ... can bang a gong![2], and let our enemies be afraid ...[1], and with this noise - feel it in your bones - we'll drown out ... all our fears[2], and the SQUARE killers fear this ... the newness, the unusualness, the audacity, and the sheer fucking insanity of it![1], and let our enemies be afraid ...[2], and ... we'll never stop![1], and the SQUARE killers fear this ... the newness, the unusualness, the audacity, and the sheer fucking insanity of it![2], and / ... / it's nothing/everything[3], and ... we'll never stop![2], and / ... / we can escape ... yes, we can hide for a while or even ... FOREVER!!![3], and bad people have made the world bad[3], and I'll tell you the truth, dear spinner(s) ... I'm very confused by everyone's fear[3], and confusion can be a beautiful thing out of the world ... so, I'm getting DIZZY[3], and I see YOU(!) ... grinning, drooling ... well, well, well ... it seems you've beaten me to it[3], and / ... / Has anyone been beyond the THREE yet?[3], and / ... / NO DEMONS ALLOWED![3], and a-ROUND we are, away ... a-ROUND, and away ... here ... and a-ROUND, almost gone[3], and / ... / Anything ... to  ... fear? / well, my ears can hear the earth buzzing or something buzzing[3], and / ... / 'Oh man, such anxiety, I don't like it ... is this silence golden?' / No, no, no ...[3], and I've brought my guitar along ... 'Yippee!' ... / I'll get the distortion up real hot ... / HOT(!) enough for you?[3], and YOU(!), spinner(s) ... can bang a gong![3], and with this noise - feel it in your bones - we'll drown out ... all our fears[3], and let our enemies be afraid ...[3], and the SQUARE killers fear this ... the newness, the unusualness, the audacity, and the sheer fucking insanity of it![3], and ... we'll never stop![3], and

Richard Woolnough says the West shouldn't fear deflation

I'm getting sick of all this, stuff like this, man. We're always being told (normally by the media, or, at least, through the media) that we've got to fear something, and then - a week or two later - that we don't have to fear it. Like spiders. 'What?!' Like spiders, Voice. Do you remember about a month ago? We were being told we should fear giant hairy spiders coming into our houses and biting our arms and legs off. 'Oh yeah. I remember.' Well, did it happen? Of course it didn't! But then we were told, No! Don't fear the spiders. The spiders are our friends because they get rid of all the little insects in our houses, like flies and shit. 'They want it both ways, boss. They want us to be afraid and not afraid at the same time. So they can control our minds, like you were saying yesterday.' And it's the same with deflation now. To be fair to Richie Woolnough at M&G Investments, he's just some sweet, innocent guy who is being used. He doesn't understand the evil behind what he is being asked to do. 'He thinks it's okay because he's only saying don't fear deflation. Not fearing is nice, he thinks.' Yeah. However, he doesn't realize that they're already lining someone else up to tell us in a couple of weeks to fear deflation. 'Fear it. Christ! They've told us that a number of times anyway. It's a sick game, Mikey.' It's a sick world, Voice.

...

I'm just glad I've got my Telecaster and my amp now. Music is a refuge from the world. You can get lost in music.

An electric guitar makes you sound a much better player, you know. I was doing some simple strumming last night that would sound pathetic on an acoustic, but with my Telecaster and amp set on Californian and hi gain or hot with plenty of drive ... well, it was like Nirvana or Oasis. I was in heavy rock heaven, you dig?

And lead guitar? The amplifier sustains notes for ages on the hot setting. I was wailing like Hendrix, man!

...

Lunch?! Yeah, I'm having lunch. Why wouldn't I be having lunch? Egg sandwich, for your information, dear reader(s). 'Mikey, behave. I'm paying for your lunch.' Shut up, Voice. You're not scary. You're not Sir Ben.

Blue-collar aspiration?

Have a look at this! It's a load of bollocks. How many blue-collar types aspire and get absolutely nowhere? Most, I would say. Only a handful - guys like Alan Sugar - get to live the David Cameron lifestyle. And the thing about Cameron is ... he didn't need to aspire to anything! Everything he has in life was handed to him on a plate. Oh, I wouldn't mind being the prime minister. I think I'll be quite good at it. The next thing he knows? He's prime minister! That would never happen to some character living on the White City estate.

And if you're really rich, you can get corporate welfare - and hardly anyone says a word about it! Except the Guardian.

Oh, I'm in a bad mood this morning. Amazon are using some cowboy courier to deliver my guitar amplifier (to save money, obviously.) The parcel didn't turn up yesterday, but the courier says the driver came to my house and left a card. Bullshit! Absolute bullshit! There was no driver, and no card! I want my amplifier, man, and I want it NOW! Maybe they think I'm a member of the government and that I have the cash to order countless amplifiers. Well, I don't! I want the one I paid for. And I want it today. I'm not made of money.

Of course, this delivery driver didn't go to Eton. I wonder what he aspires to. Maybe he's on the minimum wage, and he dreams of one day earning five pence an hour more. But that's no excuse! Unless he's delivering to a house in Kensington or Knightsbridge (or somewhere like that) he should still do his job properly. Honest men and women, sons and daughters of toil, people like me, are waiting for their fucking parcels! Let's have a bit of decent human decency, yeah?

...

And in other news ... there is no other news. Deal with it. / The news is an illusion, anyway. The truth is, there is never any news. Not really. It's all a con.


Update (7.15pm): I've got my amp, man, and I'm really rocking - as you can imagine. God knows what the neighbours think. 'I've spoken to them, Mikey. They asked me if you had The Who rehearsing in your bedroom!' Ha! Don't be ridiculous, Voice.

Who on earth is Andy Pomfret?

Yeah, er ... / Who on earth is he, this Andy Pomfret? I'm not talking about the cosmos. 'Thank God for that, Mikey!' I'm not remotely interested in who Andy is when he's floating around the Milky Way like ... a cosmic fairy, as it were. That shit is personal, and I wouldn't pry. But on earth, on earth, man, in business ... that's a different matter.

Take it away, Voice ... 'Boss, I've looked into Andy, and I think you'll agree with me that he's an interesting character. His LinkedIn profile says he's an independent non-executive director.' What the hell does that mean?! 'It means he doesn't have a real job, as such.' Oh. ‘No, he just moves around from firm to firm offering his services as a ... well, a board director.' Oh. Oh dear. That's terrible! 'The latest firm is Old Mutual Wealth. They've taken him on as a non-executive director and put him in charge of the audit committee.' Ha! I suppose it keeps him off the streets, eh? 'Yeah. That's the way the Old Mutual crowd are looking at it.'

Well, well ... / It seems a strange way to live, but I won't judge Andy. 'Maybe this precarious lifestyle frees him up to focus on his cosmic activities, boss.' Yeah, we're not discussing that, Voice, are we? Every man is entitled to a private life. How would you like it if I told all my readers about your trips to the astral plane to visit your dead relatives? 'I've got nothing to hide, man. My folks are great people. Well, they were, once upon a time ...'

...

And in other news ... oh, other news ... I should be getting my guitar amplifier today. Yippee! 'Brilliant!' I can't wait. My fingers are itching to start rocking. 'Rockin' in the free world, man?' Obviously, man. We ain't in North Korea. Great Britain is still a reasonably free country ...

And, er ... another day, another lunch? Oh, I haven't been to the shop yet. Give me a chance, reader(s). It'll probably be a cheese sandwich. I mean, I only have cheese or egg sandwiches, don't I? And I don't fancy egg today. So ... 'That just leaves cheese, boss.' Yes. Cheese. I'm not complaining.

Larry Fink says central bankers and regulators are surprising and troublesome

Er ... / Yeah. Last post of the week, dear reader(s). I'm tired, very tired. However, I will try to make the best sense out of this story that I can. / Mr Fink is the chairman and chief executive of BlackRock. He has led the firm since its founding in 1988, keeping client centric solutions and innovation at the forefront of his leadership. (I nicked that from his LinkedIn profile, which is very informative even though he doesn't have one connection! Obviously, a classic case of some internet degenerate concocting a profile for Mr Fink [I refuse to call him "Larry" - too informal. Let's have a bit of fucking respect, please!] for reasons we'll never know.) Anyway, Mr Fink doesn't like central bankers or regulators. 'Why not, Mikey?!' Well, they're surprising, and they're troublesome. 'Is that a big deal, is it?' I don't know, man. Maybe Mr Fink is the Victor Meldrew of the finance world. 'Ha!' I think it could be quite entertaining. Imagine ...the central bankers and the regulators might say something like, There's bubbles in them thar hills! I mean, that's the sort of statement that surprises and troubles Mr Fink. 'Yeah.' Outraged, he shouts, I don't believe it! And then he writes a letter to his local gazette ... yeah? 'Well ...'

Er ... / As I say, dear reader(s), I am very tired. / I hope Mr Fink doesn't read this post. I don't particularly want anyone to read it. It's not one of my best, and any normal, well-adjusted financial person is bound to find it troublesome, although not necessarily surprising. 'Don't be so hard on yourself, boss. Not every post can be an Immortal Words.' I suppose ...

My only consolation is that Friday comes around pretty quickly these days. (Have you noticed that?) Man, I'm looking forward to a couple of pints and a read of the paper and a view of the river ...

Laters, crocodile(s).

[No. 256] Money is a disease

Even Neil Woodford says so.

And money is ...[1], and there's NOTHING we can do about it / Have YOU(!) got a guitar?[1], and money is ...[2], and we can sing the blues - if we want to[1], and there's NOTHING we can do about it / Have YOU(!) got a guitar?[2], and I can't imagine Neil is the cure ...[1], and we can sing the blues - if we want to[2], and money makes ... everyone ill[1], and I can't imagine Neil is the cure ...[2], and words ... make our world go a-ROUND / maybe words are all we need ...[1], and money makes ... everyone ill[2], and it's the same old thing - thank God![1], and words ... make our world go a-ROUND / maybe words are all we need ...[2], and / are you tired? / you can sleep while you're spinning / and I'll look after you[1], and it's the same old thing - thank God![2], and money is ... exhausting, I know[1], and / are you tired? / you can sleep while you're spinning / and I'll look after you[2], and you can have too little / and you can have too much[1], and money is ... exhausting, I know[2], and / what did we expect, coming into an evil world?[1], and you can have too little / and you can have too much[2], and the satanists want us to choke on it[1], and / what did we expect, coming into an evil world?[2], and one spin and we'll be gone forever, over the rainbow / it's a dream ... er, beyond the THREE[1], and the satanists want us to choke on it[2], and ... I'm locked into a riff, and ... I'm looking at the horizon[1], and one spin and we'll be gone forever, over the rainbow / it's a dream ... er, beyond the THREE[2], and what are YOU(!) ... doing now?[1], and ... I'm locked into a riff, and ... I'm looking at the horizon[2], and it's a mystery ... how I've held myself together ... with pain and anxiety ... and mad hopes[1], and what are YOU(!) ... doing now?[2], and forget, just forget[1], and it's a mystery ... how I've held myself together ... with pain and anxiety ... and mad hopes[2], and money is ...[3], and forget, just forget[2], and there's NOTHING we can do about it / Have YOU(!) got a guitar?[3], and we can sing the blues - if we want to[3], and I can't imagine Neil is the cure ...[3], and money makes ... everyone ill[3], and words ... make our world go a-ROUND / maybe words are all we need ...[3], and it's the same old thing - thank God![3], and / are you tired? / you can sleep while you're spinning / and I'll look after you[3], and money is ... exhausting, I know[3], and you can have too little / and you can have too much[3], and / what did we expect, coming into an evil world?[3], and the satanists want us to choke on it[3], and one spin and we'll be gone forever, over the rainbow / it's a dream ... er, beyond the THREE[3], and ... I'm locked into a riff, and ... I'm looking at the horizon[3], and what are YOU(!) ... doing now?[3], and it's a mystery ... how I've held myself together ... with pain and anxiety ... and mad hopes[3], and forget, just forget[3], and

And money is ...[1], and there's NOTHING we can do about it / Have YOU(!) got a guitar?[1], and money is ...[2], and we can sing the blues - if we want to[1], and there's NOTHING we can do about it / Have YOU(!) got a guitar?[2], and I can't imagine Neil is the cure ...[1], and we can sing the blues - if we want to[2], and money makes ... everyone ill[1], and I can't imagine Neil is the cure ...[2], and words ... make our world go a-ROUND / maybe words are all we need ...[1], and money makes ... everyone ill[2], and it's the same old thing - thank God![1], and words ... make our world go a-ROUND / maybe words are all we need ...[2], and / are you tired? / you can sleep while you're spinning / and I'll look after you[1], and it's the same old thing - thank God![2], and money is ... exhausting, I know[1], and / are you tired? / you can sleep while you're spinning / and I'll look after you[2], and you can have too little / and you can have too much[1], and money is ... exhausting, I know[2], and / what did we expect, coming into an evil world?[1], and you can have too little / and you can have too much[2], and the satanists want us to choke on it[1], and / what did we expect, coming into an evil world?[2], and one spin and we'll be gone forever, over the rainbow / it's a dream ... er, beyond the THREE[1], and the satanists want us to choke on it[2], and ... I'm locked into a riff, and ... I'm looking at the horizon[1], and one spin and we'll be gone forever, over the rainbow / it's a dream ... er, beyond the THREE[2], and what are YOU(!) ... doing now?[1], and ... I'm locked into a riff, and ... I'm looking at the horizon[2], and it's a mystery ... how I've held myself together ... with pain and anxiety ... and mad hopes[1], and what are YOU(!) ... doing now?[2], and forget, just forget[1], and it's a mystery ... how I've held myself together ... with pain and anxiety ... and mad hopes[2], and money is ...[3], and forget, just forget[2], and there's NOTHING we can do about it / Have YOU(!) got a guitar?[3], and we can sing the blues - if we want to[3], and I can't imagine Neil is the cure ...[3], and money makes ... everyone ill[3], and words ... make our world go a-ROUND / maybe words are all we need ...[3], and it's the same old thing - thank God![3], and / are you tired? / you can sleep while you're spinning / and I'll look after you[3], and money is ... exhausting, I know[3], and you can have too little / and you can have too much[3], and / what did we expect, coming into an evil world?[3], and the satanists want us to choke on it[3], and one spin and we'll be gone forever, over the rainbow / it's a dream ... er, beyond the THREE[3], and ... I'm locked into a riff, and ... I'm looking at the horizon[3], and what are YOU(!) ... doing now?[3], and it's a mystery ... how I've held myself together ... with pain and anxiety ... and mad hopes[3], and forget, just forget[3], and

And money is ...[1], and there's NOTHING we can do about it / Have YOU(!) got a guitar?[1], and money is ...[2], and we can sing the blues - if we want to[1], and there's NOTHING we can do about it / Have YOU(!) got a guitar?[2], and I can't imagine Neil is the cure ...[1], and we can sing the blues - if we want to[2], and money makes ... everyone ill[1], and I can't imagine Neil is the cure ...[2], and words ... make our world go a-ROUND / maybe words are all we need ...[1], and money makes ... everyone ill[2], and it's the same old thing - thank God![1], and words ... make our world go a-ROUND / maybe words are all we need ...[2], and / are you tired? / you can sleep while you're spinning / and I'll look after you[1], and it's the same old thing - thank God![2], and money is ... exhausting, I know[1], and / are you tired? / you can sleep while you're spinning / and I'll look after you[2], and you can have too little / and you can have too much[1], and money is ... exhausting, I know[2], and / what did we expect, coming into an evil world?[1], and you can have too little / and you can have too much[2], and the satanists want us to choke on it[1], and / what did we expect, coming into an evil world?[2], and one spin and we'll be gone forever, over the rainbow / it's a dream ... er, beyond the THREE[1], and the satanists want us to choke on it[2], and ... I'm locked into a riff, and ... I'm looking at the horizon[1], and one spin and we'll be gone forever, over the rainbow / it's a dream ... er, beyond the THREE[2], and what are YOU(!) ... doing now?[1], and ... I'm locked into a riff, and ... I'm looking at the horizon[2], and it's a mystery ... how I've held myself together ... with pain and anxiety ... and mad hopes[1], and what are YOU(!) ... doing now?[2], and forget, just forget[1], and it's a mystery ... how I've held myself together ... with pain and anxiety ... and mad hopes[2], and money is ...[3], and forget, just forget[2], and there's NOTHING we can do about it / Have YOU(!) got a guitar?[3], and we can sing the blues - if we want to[3], and I can't imagine Neil is the cure ...[3], and money makes ... everyone ill[3], and words ... make our world go a-ROUND / maybe words are all we need ...[3], and it's the same old thing - thank God![3], and / are you tired? / you can sleep while you're spinning / and I'll look after you[3], and money is ... exhausting, I know[3], and you can have too little / and you can have too much[3], and / what did we expect, coming into an evil world?[3], and the satanists want us to choke on it[3], and one spin and we'll be gone forever, over the rainbow / it's a dream ... er, beyond the THREE[3], and ... I'm locked into a riff, and ... I'm looking at the horizon[3], and what are YOU(!) ... doing now?[3], and it's a mystery ... how I've held myself together ... with pain and anxiety ... and mad hopes[3], and forget, just forget[3], and

Neil Woodford doesn't like money or fund managers!

Field Marshal Dr Screaming Lord Woodford, CBE, VC, DSO, MC has gone absolutely insane. Absolutely! 'What's the matter, boss? Has Neil set himself up as a dictator or something?' Worse than that, Voice. He's going around telling anyone who will listen that fund managers get paid too much and charge customers too much. 'What?!' He says short-termism is the problem. 'Well, of course it is. No one cares about next year, or ten years from now. Everyone wants results straight away. You see it in finance, in politics, in war, in music, in relationships, in shopping, in technology, in everything! The world is fucked, Mikey. There is no hope.' Thank you for your analysis, Voice. I can't say you're wrong. However, Neil shouldn't take out his frustrations on hard-working fund managers who are only trying to put food on the table for their families. It's all right for him. He's a superstar. He's made his fortune. But I could tell you heartbreaking stories of fund managers who are struggling terribly at the moment. 'Could you?!' No, probably not ...

I'm starting to sound like David Cameron! What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe Comrade Neil does have a point ...

...

And in other news ... I've got my Telecaster, man. £140. The cheapest one you can get, but it's absolutely beautiful. Amazing quality for the price! 'You haven't plugged it in yet, boss.' Well, I don't have an amplifier - yet. 'Oh.' I'm getting one though. I'm going to arrange for Amazon to send me one as soon as they can. This time next week, I'll be rockin' in the free world.

Lunch? Luxury egg sandwich. McCoy's man crisps, for a change. Yoghurt. Coke.

Er ... / By the way, lead guitar is much easier on an electric, as you would expect. But it was a smart move learning on an acoustic, I reckon. This time next week, I'll be kissing the sky.

Lunch? Er ... 'You've told them about your lunch, man.' Yeah. Er ... two more posts to come! Stay tuned, reader(s)! Laters.

[No. 255] Mark Black is getting a-ROUND with us!

Whether he likes it or not. Sometimes you have to take the lead. You have to force these characters into situations which will only benefit them in the long run. Never forget: we are humanitarians!

And this is a good thing / it changes lives, man![1], and Mark Black will not talk / he never talks / however, he will spin! / and that's all we ask of any seeker[1], and this is a good thing / it changes lives, man![2], and any mystic kook will do? ... no, not really ...[1], and Mark Black will not talk / he never talks / however, he will spin! / and that's all we ask of any seeker[2], and here he is, our Mark / Hello![1], and any mystic kook will do? ... no, not really ...[2], and Mark Black is a hungry man ... / and let's get our wallets out ...[1], and here he is, our Mark / Hello![2], and his Raveneur wants even more money - it's insatiable![1], and Mark Black is a hungry man ... / and let's get our wallets out ...[2], and he forgets ... this isn't the place / oh, he ain't DIZZY enough yet / 'It's early spins, boss'[1], and his Raveneur wants even more money - it's insatiable![2], and when you're DIZZY ... you don't need no money, man![1], and he forgets ... this isn't the place / oh, he ain't DIZZY enough yet / 'It's early spins, boss'[2], and the spinning a-ROUND gets rid of all problems, all fears, all desires, everything![1], and when you're DIZZY ... you don't need no money, man![2], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / We can't get enough![1], and the spinning a-ROUND gets rid of all problems, all fears, all desires, everything![2], and they say ... Mark particularly likes the financial and automotive industries in Europe / oh, we don't care / and soon, Mark won't ...[1], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / We can't get enough![2], and his MBA from Stanford is no good here / oh, what a waste of time and energy![1], and they say ... Mark particularly likes the financial and automotive industries in Europe / oh, we don't care / and soon, Mark won't ...[2], and what are YOU(!) ... a silent fucking partner?! / COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!![1], and his MBA from Stanford is no good here / oh, what a waste of time and energy![2], and you're dumb when you're DIZZY ... I know, yes, I know[1], and what are YOU(!) ... a silent fucking partner?! / COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!![2], and ... rest ... just for a moment, yeah? NO![1], and you're dumb when you're DIZZY ... I know, yes, I know[2], and while we're getting a-ROUND, so committed ... we'll never soft close our hearts![1], and ... rest ... just for a moment, yeah? NO![2], and this is a good thing / it changes lives, man![3], and while we're getting a-ROUND, so committed ... we'll never soft close our hearts![2], and Mark Black will not talk / he never talks / however, he will spin! / and that's all we ask of any seeker[3], and any mystic kook will do? ... no, not really ...[3], and here he is, our Mark / Hello![3], and Mark Black is a hungry man ... / and let's get our wallets out ...[3], and his Raveneur wants even more money - it's insatiable![3], and he forgets ... this isn't the place / oh, he ain't DIZZY enough yet / 'It's early spins, boss'[3], and when you're DIZZY ... you don't need no money, man![3], and the spinning a-ROUND gets rid of all problems, all fears, all desires, everything![3], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / We can't get enough![3], and they say ... Mark particularly likes the financial and automotive industries in Europe / oh, we don't care / and soon, Mark won't ...[3], and his MBA from Stanford is no good here / oh, what a waste of time and energy![3], and what are YOU(!) ... a silent fucking partner?! / COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!![3], and you're dumb when you're DIZZY ... I know, yes, I know[3], and ... rest ... just for a moment, yeah? NO![3], and while we're getting a-ROUND, so committed ... we'll never soft close our hearts![3], and

And this is a good thing / it changes lives, man![1], and Mark Black will not talk / he never talks / however, he will spin! / and that's all we ask of any seeker[1], and this is a good thing / it changes lives, man![2], and any mystic kook will do? ... no, not really ...[1], and Mark Black will not talk / he never talks / however, he will spin! / and that's all we ask of any seeker[2], and here he is, our Mark / Hello![1], and any mystic kook will do? ... no, not really ...[2], and Mark Black is a hungry man ... / and let's get our wallets out ...[1], and here he is, our Mark / Hello![2], and his Raveneur wants even more money - it's insatiable![1], and Mark Black is a hungry man ... / and let's get our wallets out ...[2], and he forgets ... this isn't the place / oh, he ain't DIZZY enough yet / 'It's early spins, boss'[1], and his Raveneur wants even more money - it's insatiable![2], and when you're DIZZY ... you don't need no money, man![1], and he forgets ... this isn't the place / oh, he ain't DIZZY enough yet / 'It's early spins, boss'[2], and the spinning a-ROUND gets rid of all problems, all fears, all desires, everything![1], and when you're DIZZY ... you don't need no money, man![2], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / We can't get enough![1], and the spinning a-ROUND gets rid of all problems, all fears, all desires, everything![2], and they say ... Mark particularly likes the financial and automotive industries in Europe / oh, we don't care / and soon, Mark won't ...[1], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / We can't get enough![2], and his MBA from Stanford is no good here / oh, what a waste of time and energy![1], and they say ... Mark particularly likes the financial and automotive industries in Europe / oh, we don't care / and soon, Mark won't ...[2], and what are YOU(!) ... a silent fucking partner?! / COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!![1], and his MBA from Stanford is no good here / oh, what a waste of time and energy![2], and you're dumb when you're DIZZY ... I know, yes, I know[1], and what are YOU(!) ... a silent fucking partner?! / COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!![2], and ... rest ... just for a moment, yeah? NO![1], and you're dumb when you're DIZZY ... I know, yes, I know[2], and while we're getting a-ROUND, so committed ... we'll never soft close our hearts![1], and ... rest ... just for a moment, yeah? NO![2], and this is a good thing / it changes lives, man![3], and while we're getting a-ROUND, so committed ... we'll never soft close our hearts![2], and Mark Black will not talk / he never talks / however, he will spin! / and that's all we ask of any seeker[3], and any mystic kook will do? ... no, not really ...[3], and here he is, our Mark / Hello![3], and Mark Black is a hungry man ... / and let's get our wallets out ...[3], and his Raveneur wants even more money - it's insatiable![3], and he forgets ... this isn't the place / oh, he ain't DIZZY enough yet / 'It's early spins, boss'[3], and when you're DIZZY ... you don't need no money, man![3], and the spinning a-ROUND gets rid of all problems, all fears, all desires, everything![3], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / We can't get enough![3], and they say ... Mark particularly likes the financial and automotive industries in Europe / oh, we don't care / and soon, Mark won't ...[3], and his MBA from Stanford is no good here / oh, what a waste of time and energy![3], and what are YOU(!) ... a silent fucking partner?! / COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!![3], and you're dumb when you're DIZZY ... I know, yes, I know[3], and ... rest ... just for a moment, yeah? NO![3], and while we're getting a-ROUND, so committed ... we'll never soft close our hearts![3], and

And this is a good thing / it changes lives, man![1], and Mark Black will not talk / he never talks / however, he will spin! / and that's all we ask of any seeker[1], and this is a good thing / it changes lives, man![2], and any mystic kook will do? ... no, not really ...[1], and Mark Black will not talk / he never talks / however, he will spin! / and that's all we ask of any seeker[2], and here he is, our Mark / Hello![1], and any mystic kook will do? ... no, not really ...[2], and Mark Black is a hungry man ... / and let's get our wallets out ...[1], and here he is, our Mark / Hello![2], and his Raveneur wants even more money - it's insatiable![1], and Mark Black is a hungry man ... / and let's get our wallets out ...[2], and he forgets ... this isn't the place / oh, he ain't DIZZY enough yet / 'It's early spins, boss'[1], and his Raveneur wants even more money - it's insatiable![2], and when you're DIZZY ... you don't need no money, man![1], and he forgets ... this isn't the place / oh, he ain't DIZZY enough yet / 'It's early spins, boss'[2], and the spinning a-ROUND gets rid of all problems, all fears, all desires, everything![1], and when you're DIZZY ... you don't need no money, man![2], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / We can't get enough![1], and the spinning a-ROUND gets rid of all problems, all fears, all desires, everything![2], and they say ... Mark particularly likes the financial and automotive industries in Europe / oh, we don't care / and soon, Mark won't ...[1], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / We can't get enough![2], and his MBA from Stanford is no good here / oh, what a waste of time and energy![1], and they say ... Mark particularly likes the financial and automotive industries in Europe / oh, we don't care / and soon, Mark won't ...[2], and what are YOU(!) ... a silent fucking partner?! / COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!![1], and his MBA from Stanford is no good here / oh, what a waste of time and energy![2], and you're dumb when you're DIZZY ... I know, yes, I know[1], and what are YOU(!) ... a silent fucking partner?! / COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!![2], and ... rest ... just for a moment, yeah? NO![1], and you're dumb when you're DIZZY ... I know, yes, I know[2], and while we're getting a-ROUND, so committed ... we'll never soft close our hearts![1], and ... rest ... just for a moment, yeah? NO![2], and this is a good thing / it changes lives, man![3], and while we're getting a-ROUND, so committed ... we'll never soft close our hearts![2], and Mark Black will not talk / he never talks / however, he will spin! / and that's all we ask of any seeker[3], and any mystic kook will do? ... no, not really ...[3], and here he is, our Mark / Hello![3], and Mark Black is a hungry man ... / and let's get our wallets out ...[3], and his Raveneur wants even more money - it's insatiable![3], and he forgets ... this isn't the place / oh, he ain't DIZZY enough yet / 'It's early spins, boss'[3], and when you're DIZZY ... you don't need no money, man![3], and the spinning a-ROUND gets rid of all problems, all fears, all desires, everything![3], and so ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / We can't get enough![3], and they say ... Mark particularly likes the financial and automotive industries in Europe / oh, we don't care / and soon, Mark won't ...[3], and his MBA from Stanford is no good here / oh, what a waste of time and energy![3], and what are YOU(!) ... a silent fucking partner?! / COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!![3], and you're dumb when you're DIZZY ... I know, yes, I know[3], and ... rest ... just for a moment, yeah? NO![3], and while we're getting a-ROUND, so committed ... we'll never soft close our hearts![3], and

Mark Black is doing all right with this Raveneur thing of his

What "Raveneur" thing you're probably wondering, eh, dear reader(s)? ('Ha! What's the matter with them, boss?') Well, there's no need to get upset. Dry your eyes. It's a hedge fund, Raveneur Investment Group, that's all. It's completely harmless. / The word on the grapevine (or street or whatever) is that Raveneur has been given hundreds of millions of dollars in seed capital. Blackstone Group has given the fund $200 million, and PAAMCO!!! has given $150 million. Not only that, BUT(!) ... I've had a whip-round in the pub. I got £13.27 off the lads. I'll be sending it over to Mark Black forthwith, as they say. ('If you don't spend it on some new guitar strings first.' Shut up. 'What lads, anyway?' Oh, just some Roundheads. 'Ghosts?' Yeah.) / ... / By the way, Raveneur is going to soft close at $1 billion, roughly. I think Mark has put $57.65 of his own money into the fund, so ... still some way to go. Obviously, I wish Mark and everyone involved the best of luck. 'So do I!' We need more hedge funds in this world.

Mark Black is a funny one though. He doesn't like talking to journalists for some reason. 'What's funny about that, man?' Nothing. Nothing at all. I'm merely making conversation. 'Does he like getting a-ROUND?' Time will tell, Voice. Time will tell.

...

Anything else? Er ... I'm listening to Pink Floyd. Mainly for David Gilmour's guitar playing. / Gilmour and Jimmy Page say they don't know any guitar scales, much. They just play what sounds right, I suppose. I'm not going to overdo the scales. All you really need is the blues scale, and the major and minor pentatonic scales. All three scales are pretty much the same as well, except for the odd extra note. It's not rocket science, man.

Lunch? Er ... / Cheese and tomato sandwich from Morrisons, only £1. My favourite sandwich! And crisps, yoghurt, Coke. I haven't given up the Coke yet. ('Your teeth, Mikey! Think of your teeth!') I'm addicted, son. (What are you doing in those bloody brackets again, Voice?) Never mind. There are worse things to be addicted to.

Well ... laters, reader(s). I'll see you and Mark Black a-ROUND, yeah? 'After lunch?' Yeah, after lunch, yeah.