[No. 518] My ritual

It's twice a week. Yes, yes. I should really cut down to once a week. I know, I know, I know.

And here ... I am[1], and I get a-ROUND twice a week - is that a lot?[1], and here ... I am[2], and - as you know - I'm addicted, I can't stop, I don't want to stop, I guess I'll never stop ... but I don't need help, man![1], and I get a-ROUND twice a week - is that a lot?[2], and it's different every time, I'm convinced, ain't it? / a different feeling, you dig?[1], and - as you know - I'm addicted, I can't stop, I don't want to stop, I guess I'll never stop ... but I don't need help, man![2], and ... I FEEL SO MUCH - !!![1], and it's different every time, I'm convinced, ain't it? / a different feeling, you dig?[2], and, of course ... there's always a chance I'll go beyond the THREE / just slip past it ...[1], and ... I FEEL SO MUCH - !!![2], and I feel so often ...[1], and, of course ... there's always a chance I'll go beyond the THREE / just slip past it ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and no surprises for the kooks, they know the score[1], and I feel so often ...[2], and one, two ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and no surprises for the kooks, they know the score[2], and ... don't say it! / That goddamn number![1], and one, two ...[2], and, baby ... you can join me, in my ritual ... getting a-ROUND like there's no tomorrow[1], and ... don't say it! / That goddamn number![2], and catch my disease, please![1], and, baby ... you can join me, in my ritual ... getting a-ROUND like there's no tomorrow[2], and guess what: There's no tomorrow![1], and catch my disease, please![2], and I'll pass my feelings on to anyone who cares / 'But no one cares!' / Ah, fuck off then![1], and guess what: There's no tomorrow![2], and alone, mountain top ...[1], and I'll pass my feelings on to anyone who cares / 'But no one cares!' / Ah, fuck off then![2], and yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday ... was an awful nightmare, full of idiots[1], and alone, mountain top ...[2], and Zarathustra, spiritual aristocrat ...[1], and yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday ... was an awful nightmare, full of idiots[2], and I, I ... don't want to explain or maybe I do, for the hard of thinking ... and the cold of feeling[1], and Zarathustra, spiritual aristocrat ...[2], and ... Christ, son! ... / ... daughter[1], and I, I ... don't want to explain or maybe I do, for the hard of thinking ... and the cold of feeling[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll be here doing this for the WHOLE OF ETERNITY[1], and ... Christ, son! ... / ... daughter[2], and, seriously ... it's what ... No. 518 / and you still need me to draw you a picture, really?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll be here doing this for the WHOLE OF ETERNITY[2], and this - here - !!![1], and, seriously ... it's what ... No. 518 / and you still need me to draw you a picture, really?[2], and give me a break, and I'll let you go, uh, back to the nothingness you seem to love so much[1], and this - here - !!![2], and ... right NOW - ?![1], and give me a break, and I'll let you go, uh, back to the nothingness you seem to love so much[2], and here ... I am[3], and ... right NOW - ?![2], and I get a-ROUND twice a week - is that a lot?[3], and - as you know - I'm addicted, I can't stop, I don't want to stop, I guess I'll never stop ... but I don't need help, man![3], and it's different every time, I'm convinced, ain't it? / a different feeling, you dig?[3], and ... I FEEL SO MUCH - !!![3], and, of course ... there's always a chance I'll go beyond the THREE / just slip past it ...[3], and I feel so often ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and no surprises for the kooks, they know the score[3], and one, two ...[3], and ... don't say it! / That goddamn number![3], and, baby ... you can join me, in my ritual ... getting a-ROUND like there's no tomorrow[3], and catch my disease, please![3], and guess what: There's no tomorrow![3], and I'll pass my feelings on to anyone who cares / 'But no one cares!' / Ah, fuck off then![3], and alone, mountain top ...[3], and yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday ... was an awful nightmare, full of idiots[3], and Zarathustra, spiritual aristocrat ...[3], and I, I ... don't want to explain or maybe I do, for the hard of thinking ... and the cold of feeling[3], and ... Christ, son! ... / ... daughter[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll be here doing this for the WHOLE OF ETERNITY[3], and, seriously ... it's what ... No. 518 / and you still need me to draw you a picture, really?[3], and this - here - !!![3], and give me a break, and I'll let you go, uh, back to the nothingness you seem to love so much[3], and ... right NOW - ?![3], and

And here ... I am[1], and I get a-ROUND twice a week - is that a lot?[1], and here ... I am[2], and - as you know - I'm addicted, I can't stop, I don't want to stop, I guess I'll never stop ... but I don't need help, man![1], and I get a-ROUND twice a week - is that a lot?[2], and it's different every time, I'm convinced, ain't it? / a different feeling, you dig?[1], and - as you know - I'm addicted, I can't stop, I don't want to stop, I guess I'll never stop ... but I don't need help, man![2], and ... I FEEL SO MUCH - !!![1], and it's different every time, I'm convinced, ain't it? / a different feeling, you dig?[2], and, of course ... there's always a chance I'll go beyond the THREE / just slip past it ...[1], and ... I FEEL SO MUCH - !!![2], and I feel so often ...[1], and, of course ... there's always a chance I'll go beyond the THREE / just slip past it ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and no surprises for the kooks, they know the score[1], and I feel so often ...[2], and one, two ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and no surprises for the kooks, they know the score[2], and ... don't say it! / That goddamn number![1], and one, two ...[2], and, baby ... you can join me, in my ritual ... getting a-ROUND like there's no tomorrow[1], and ... don't say it! / That goddamn number![2], and catch my disease, please![1], and, baby ... you can join me, in my ritual ... getting a-ROUND like there's no tomorrow[2], and guess what: There's no tomorrow![1], and catch my disease, please![2], and I'll pass my feelings on to anyone who cares / 'But no one cares!' / Ah, fuck off then![1], and guess what: There's no tomorrow![2], and alone, mountain top ...[1], and I'll pass my feelings on to anyone who cares / 'But no one cares!' / Ah, fuck off then![2], and yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday ... was an awful nightmare, full of idiots[1], and alone, mountain top ...[2], and Zarathustra, spiritual aristocrat ...[1], and yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday ... was an awful nightmare, full of idiots[2], and I, I ... don't want to explain or maybe I do, for the hard of thinking ... and the cold of feeling[1], and Zarathustra, spiritual aristocrat ...[2], and ... Christ, son! ... / ... daughter[1], and I, I ... don't want to explain or maybe I do, for the hard of thinking ... and the cold of feeling[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll be here doing this for the WHOLE OF ETERNITY[1], and ... Christ, son! ... / ... daughter[2], and, seriously ... it's what ... No. 518 / and you still need me to draw you a picture, really?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll be here doing this for the WHOLE OF ETERNITY[2], and this - here - !!![1], and, seriously ... it's what ... No. 518 / and you still need me to draw you a picture, really?[2], and give me a break, and I'll let you go, uh, back to the nothingness you seem to love so much[1], and this - here - !!![2], and ... right NOW - ?![1], and give me a break, and I'll let you go, uh, back to the nothingness you seem to love so much[2], and here ... I am[3], and ... right NOW - ?![2], and I get a-ROUND twice a week - is that a lot?[3], and - as you know - I'm addicted, I can't stop, I don't want to stop, I guess I'll never stop ... but I don't need help, man![3], and it's different every time, I'm convinced, ain't it? / a different feeling, you dig?[3], and ... I FEEL SO MUCH - !!![3], and, of course ... there's always a chance I'll go beyond the THREE / just slip past it ...[3], and I feel so often ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and no surprises for the kooks, they know the score[3], and one, two ...[3], and ... don't say it! / That goddamn number![3], and, baby ... you can join me, in my ritual ... getting a-ROUND like there's no tomorrow[3], and catch my disease, please![3], and guess what: There's no tomorrow![3], and I'll pass my feelings on to anyone who cares / 'But no one cares!' / Ah, fuck off then![3], and alone, mountain top ...[3], and yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday ... was an awful nightmare, full of idiots[3], and Zarathustra, spiritual aristocrat ...[3], and I, I ... don't want to explain or maybe I do, for the hard of thinking ... and the cold of feeling[3], and ... Christ, son! ... / ... daughter[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll be here doing this for the WHOLE OF ETERNITY[3], and, seriously ... it's what ... No. 518 / and you still need me to draw you a picture, really?[3], and this - here - !!![3], and give me a break, and I'll let you go, uh, back to the nothingness you seem to love so much[3], and ... right NOW - ?![3], and

And here ... I am[1], and I get a-ROUND twice a week - is that a lot?[1], and here ... I am[2], and - as you know - I'm addicted, I can't stop, I don't want to stop, I guess I'll never stop ... but I don't need help, man![1], and I get a-ROUND twice a week - is that a lot?[2], and it's different every time, I'm convinced, ain't it? / a different feeling, you dig?[1], and - as you know - I'm addicted, I can't stop, I don't want to stop, I guess I'll never stop ... but I don't need help, man![2], and ... I FEEL SO MUCH - !!![1], and it's different every time, I'm convinced, ain't it? / a different feeling, you dig?[2], and, of course ... there's always a chance I'll go beyond the THREE / just slip past it ...[1], and ... I FEEL SO MUCH - !!![2], and I feel so often ...[1], and, of course ... there's always a chance I'll go beyond the THREE / just slip past it ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and no surprises for the kooks, they know the score[1], and I feel so often ...[2], and one, two ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and no surprises for the kooks, they know the score[2], and ... don't say it! / That goddamn number![1], and one, two ...[2], and, baby ... you can join me, in my ritual ... getting a-ROUND like there's no tomorrow[1], and ... don't say it! / That goddamn number![2], and catch my disease, please![1], and, baby ... you can join me, in my ritual ... getting a-ROUND like there's no tomorrow[2], and guess what: There's no tomorrow![1], and catch my disease, please![2], and I'll pass my feelings on to anyone who cares / 'But no one cares!' / Ah, fuck off then![1], and guess what: There's no tomorrow![2], and alone, mountain top ...[1], and I'll pass my feelings on to anyone who cares / 'But no one cares!' / Ah, fuck off then![2], and yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday ... was an awful nightmare, full of idiots[1], and alone, mountain top ...[2], and Zarathustra, spiritual aristocrat ...[1], and yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday ... was an awful nightmare, full of idiots[2], and I, I ... don't want to explain or maybe I do, for the hard of thinking ... and the cold of feeling[1], and Zarathustra, spiritual aristocrat ...[2], and ... Christ, son! ... / ... daughter[1], and I, I ... don't want to explain or maybe I do, for the hard of thinking ... and the cold of feeling[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll be here doing this for the WHOLE OF ETERNITY[1], and ... Christ, son! ... / ... daughter[2], and, seriously ... it's what ... No. 518 / and you still need me to draw you a picture, really?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll be here doing this for the WHOLE OF ETERNITY[2], and this - here - !!![1], and, seriously ... it's what ... No. 518 / and you still need me to draw you a picture, really?[2], and give me a break, and I'll let you go, uh, back to the nothingness you seem to love so much[1], and this - here - !!![2], and ... right NOW - ?![1], and give me a break, and I'll let you go, uh, back to the nothingness you seem to love so much[2], and here ... I am[3], and ... right NOW - ?![2], and I get a-ROUND twice a week - is that a lot?[3], and - as you know - I'm addicted, I can't stop, I don't want to stop, I guess I'll never stop ... but I don't need help, man![3], and it's different every time, I'm convinced, ain't it? / a different feeling, you dig?[3], and ... I FEEL SO MUCH - !!![3], and, of course ... there's always a chance I'll go beyond the THREE / just slip past it ...[3], and I feel so often ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and no surprises for the kooks, they know the score[3], and one, two ...[3], and ... don't say it! / That goddamn number![3], and, baby ... you can join me, in my ritual ... getting a-ROUND like there's no tomorrow[3], and catch my disease, please![3], and guess what: There's no tomorrow![3], and I'll pass my feelings on to anyone who cares / 'But no one cares!' / Ah, fuck off then![3], and alone, mountain top ...[3], and yesterday, and yesterday, and yesterday ... was an awful nightmare, full of idiots[3], and Zarathustra, spiritual aristocrat ...[3], and I, I ... don't want to explain or maybe I do, for the hard of thinking ... and the cold of feeling[3], and ... Christ, son! ... / ... daughter[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and I'll be here doing this for the WHOLE OF ETERNITY[3], and, seriously ... it's what ... No. 518 / and you still need me to draw you a picture, really?[3], and this - here - !!![3], and give me a break, and I'll let you go, uh, back to the nothingness you seem to love so much[3], and ... right NOW - ?![3], and

Cliff Pearce is the global head of capital markets

Well, well ... / NOW(!) ... some of you, guys and girls, out of the loop, as it were, or ... as it is, may want to know who Cliff Pearce actually is. 'Who is he, boss?' Ha! Voice, our Cliff is the global head of capital markets. 'Oh.' At Intertrust. It's a new job. He was at Bank of America Merrill Lynch. 'Oh. / And how do you know all this?' It's a PR email, son, from Patricia. 'And who the hell is Patricia?!' She's the PR girl/woman. 'Oh.' Yeah.

Cliff will oversee and build on Intertrust's global offering of capital market solutions, with a strong market share in the UK, Ireland, the Netherlands, Luxembourg and Cayman. He will also be responsible for developing a holistic offering together with the funds division providing joined up solutions for the private equity client base in this expanding market sector.

Well, well ... / Holistic! Yeah! Wow! 'Yippee!' NOW(!) ... I like the sound of that, dear reader(s)! 'It sounds mystical, boss.' Well, it is, Voice. Our Cliff is obviously a shaman. He's obviously connected to the WHOLE COSMOS. 'Brilliant! Not just a little area of it, like the Milky Way. Ha!' I take my hat off to him, man. 'It says here that a photo is available, on request, like.' A photo of what? The fucking cosmos?! 'No. Of Cliff.' Uh, no thanks. I'm sure he's a nice guy and everything, but I don't really need a photo of him. 'It also says you can speak to him, if you want. Just contact a member of the press team.' Jesus! Enough already! I don't want to speak to him. Let's just finish this email ... okay, this is more or less repeating the first bit. Ah! 'What?' HP Van Asselt has got something he wants to say. 'Van ... who is he, for the love of Christ?!' Ha! You've never heard of HP "Sauce" Van Asselt? 'No.' He's the chief commercial officer at Intertrust. 'Oh.' Yeah. Big time. This is what he says ...

"I would like to welcome Cliff to Intertrust - I am excited by the wealth of experience he will bring to our Capital Markets team. Cliff has a very strong track record in delivering structured finance transactions and his extensive expertise will help increase the scope of our business relationships and mandates won."

Nice. Oh, he's excited, our HP. 'Imagine if he were depressed about it.' He's not depressed, man. Fuck's sake!

"I'm confident that his appointment will bolster our position as the go to choice for Capital Markets services as we continue in our commitment to delivering the highest quality service for our clients."

'He's -' He's confident, too, our HP. Yes! Excited and confident. No one could ask for more.

And, and, and, uh, er ... that, my friend(s), is the ends, as they say in the business, the PR business. / I hope it all goes well for them. It should do, what with all that holistic stuff they've got planned. / Oh, Intertrust -

Intertrust is the leading global provider of high-value trust, corporate and fund services, with approximately 2,500 employees located throughout a network of 41 offices in 30 jurisdictions across Europe, the Americas, Asia and the Middle-East. The Company delivers high-quality, tailored services to its clients with a view to building long-term relationships. Intertrust's business services offering is comprised of corporate services, fund services, capital market services, and private wealth services. Intertrust has leading market positions in the key geographic markets of its industry, including the Netherlands, Luxembourg, Jersey, and the Cayman Islands. Intertrust works with global law firms and accountancy firms, multi-national corporations, financial institutions, fund managers, high net worth individuals and family offices.

Nice. 'Very nice.' It is, Voice, you're right. / Okay, okay. Laters. 'No. 518, Mikey?' What do you think? Ha!

Metro Bank knows where you hide stuff ...

Matthew 6:19-21 - Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Okay, okay, okay, it's a commode, rabbit food, a cistern, and a soup can! My libido, I feel stupid and contagious, yeah! 'Er ... that's a Nirvana lyric, isn't it, boss?' Ha! The last bit is, Voice. The first bit is from Metro Bank. A PR email. 'Christ! What's the matter with them? Has someone had a breakdown?' No, no. Nothing that exciting, man. Apparently, British people hide their valuables in weird places around their homes. 'Oh.' Yeah, in a commode, or in a soup can. 'Oh.' Not everyone does though ...

Metro Bank, the revolution in British banking, has delved into the secret hiding places of the UK's most prized possessions and uncovered a treasure trove of clandestine locations. Almost half of Brits (47%) - that's 24.1 million - say they believe the safest option is to store their valuables in and around their home. However rather than being concealed in top-secret hiding places, to a burglar's delight, when it comes to Brits' homes, filing cabinets and drawers (26%) were found to be the most common place for people to stow away their important possessions, followed by a safe (19%) and in third place a wardrobe (18%).

Filing cabinet, drawer, and a safe, and a wardrobe! Here we are now, entertain us. 'Ha!' No, it's not the same. 'But, boss ... why does Metro Bank care about this shit?' Because they have these safe deposit boxes they want people to use instead. 'Oh, I get it.' Yeah. This is what Iain Kirkpatrick says about it -

Iain Kirkpatrick, Managing Director of Retail Banking at Metro Bank commented: "Never mind under the bed or in a sock drawer or even the commode, we know that our customers' valuables need to be looked after properly and kept safe. While some people opt for more unusual places, it is worrying how many choose to hide their most cherished possessions in such conspicuous locations. At Metro Bank, we care about what’s important to our customers and we're always looking for ways to make their banking experience as simple and straightforward as possible. That's why not only do we offer safe deposit boxes in all our stores, but they can be accessed as many times as customers want during store opening hours, seven days a week, from early in the morning to late at night. No appointments are necessary and customers are able to use our viewing rooms to access their box in complete privacy."

You see? 'He seems really concerned.' / Of course, gangs of robbers often break into places with safe deposit boxes, like that Hatton Garden job. But we won't worry about that now.

...

It's the end of the week. Anything else? / Did you see the BBC debate last night, dear reader(s)? Theresa May was too scared to show her face. 'Ha!' It's like throwing a party and not turning up. She was the one who wanted this fucking election. No one forced her into it. / And now various nutjobs are complaining about the "left-wing" audience from last night. 'Ha!' Yeah, because they were laughing at Amber Rudd. That's the British public, nutjobs. Maybe you would prefer a different public? If you don't like it, go and live in North Korea where people do what they're told.

[No. 517] No, man, I'm not the Wolfman

Wolfman Jack.

And I'm the shaman! / So ...[1], and I tell you one thing, man: I would love to live in American Graffiti / Actually, in the film, you dig?[1], and I'm the shaman! / So ...[2], and come for a ride, kook or square - anybody![1], and I tell you one thing, man: I would love to live in American Graffiti / Actually, in the film, you dig?[2], and it's either me or the Pharaohs ...[1], and come for a ride, kook or square - anybody![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and I might cut over to G Street[1], and it's either me or the Pharaohs ...[2], and, sure, it's magical thinking, but this is the place for it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and I might cut over to G Street[2], and ... 'No squares, Mikey!' / and - Ha! I was only joking, Voice / Ah, it's kooks I need, and kooks I want[1], and, sure, it's magical thinking, but this is the place for it[2], and ... kooks I will get![1], and ... 'No squares, Mikey!' / and - Ha! I was only joking, Voice / Ah, it's kooks I need, and kooks I want[2], and we're gonna rock and roll ourselves to death, baby![1], and ... kooks I will get![2], and it must have been a GOLDEN AGE / Yes, it must have been, I'm saying it must have been[1], and we're gonna rock and roll ourselves to death, baby![2], and a past I never had ...[1], and it must have been a GOLDEN AGE / Yes, it must have been, I'm saying it must have been[2], and film or conceptual? BOTH!!! / Trapped forever, with Louie, and Louie, and Louie ...[1], and a past I never had ...[2], and ... cherry bomb![1], and film or conceptual? BOTH!!! / Trapped forever, with Louie, and Louie, and Louie ...[2], and I beg my consciousness ness to let me stay, oh, never leave, let me stay, please![1], and ... cherry bomb![2], and, bar, bar, bar, bar, barb, bar, barb, bar ...[1], and I beg my consciousness ness to let me stay, oh, never leave, let me stay, please![2], and, shit, man, I could remember all the bad times in the cold world, or ... stay right here having fun as usual[1], and, bar, bar, bar, bar, barb, bar, barb, bar ...[2], and I'm a regular JD - !!![1], and, shit, man, I could remember all the bad times in the cold world, or ... stay right here having fun as usual[2], and, man, I can't leave, uh ... just like the Wolfman, I'm not a young man no more, but I ain't bothered, man[1], and I'm a regular JD - !!![2], and, yes, a-ROUND in circles I go, transmitting to the cosmos ... / and they'll never catch me![1], and, man, I can't leave, uh ... just like the Wolfman, I'm not a young man no more, but I ain't bothered, man[2], and, YOU(!) ... how you doing? 'Me?' No, I'm talking to the other fifty creeps here, ha![1], and, yes, a-ROUND in circles I go, transmitting to the cosmos ... / and they'll never catch me![2], and give me, give me, give me ... a bottle of Old Harper![1], and, YOU(!) ... how you doing? 'Me?' No, I'm talking to the other fifty creeps here, ha![2], and I'm the shaman! / So ...[3], and give me, give me, give me ... a bottle of Old Harper![2], and I tell you one thing, man: I would love to live in American Graffiti / Actually, in the film, you dig?[3], and come for a ride, kook or square - anybody![3], and it's either me or the Pharaohs ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and I might cut over to G Street[3], and, sure, it's magical thinking, but this is the place for it[3], and ... 'No squares, Mikey!' / and - Ha! I was only joking, Voice / Ah, it's kooks I need, and kooks I want[3], and ... kooks I will get![3], and we're gonna rock and roll ourselves to death, baby![3], and it must have been a GOLDEN AGE / Yes, it must have been, I'm saying it must have been[3], and a past I never had ...[3], and film or conceptual? BOTH!!! / Trapped forever, with Louie, and Louie, and Louie ...[3], and ... cherry bomb![3], and I beg my consciousness ness to let me stay, oh, never leave, let me stay, please![3], and, bar, bar, bar, bar, barb, bar, barb, bar ...[3], and, shit, man, I could remember all the bad times in the cold world, or ... stay right here having fun as usual[3], and I'm a regular JD - !!![3], and, man, I can't leave, uh ... just like the Wolfman, I'm not a young man no more, but I ain't bothered, man[3], and, yes, a-ROUND in circles I go, transmitting to the cosmos ... / and they'll never catch me![3], and, YOU(!) ... how you doing? 'Me?' No, I'm talking to the other fifty creeps here, ha![3], and give me, give me, give me ... a bottle of Old Harper![3], and

And I'm the shaman! / So ...[1], and I tell you one thing, man: I would love to live in American Graffiti / Actually, in the film, you dig?[1], and I'm the shaman! / So ...[2], and come for a ride, kook or square - anybody![1], and I tell you one thing, man: I would love to live in American Graffiti / Actually, in the film, you dig?[2], and it's either me or the Pharaohs ...[1], and come for a ride, kook or square - anybody![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and I might cut over to G Street[1], and it's either me or the Pharaohs ...[2], and, sure, it's magical thinking, but this is the place for it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and I might cut over to G Street[2], and ... 'No squares, Mikey!' / and - Ha! I was only joking, Voice / Ah, it's kooks I need, and kooks I want[1], and, sure, it's magical thinking, but this is the place for it[2], and ... kooks I will get![1], and ... 'No squares, Mikey!' / and - Ha! I was only joking, Voice / Ah, it's kooks I need, and kooks I want[2], and we're gonna rock and roll ourselves to death, baby![1], and ... kooks I will get![2], and it must have been a GOLDEN AGE / Yes, it must have been, I'm saying it must have been[1], and we're gonna rock and roll ourselves to death, baby![2], and a past I never had ...[1], and it must have been a GOLDEN AGE / Yes, it must have been, I'm saying it must have been[2], and film or conceptual? BOTH!!! / Trapped forever, with Louie, and Louie, and Louie ...[1], and a past I never had ...[2], and ... cherry bomb![1], and film or conceptual? BOTH!!! / Trapped forever, with Louie, and Louie, and Louie ...[2], and I beg my consciousness ness to let me stay, oh, never leave, let me stay, please![1], and ... cherry bomb![2], and, bar, bar, bar, bar, barb, bar, barb, bar ...[1], and I beg my consciousness ness to let me stay, oh, never leave, let me stay, please![2], and, shit, man, I could remember all the bad times in the cold world, or ... stay right here having fun as usual[1], and, bar, bar, bar, bar, barb, bar, barb, bar ...[2], and I'm a regular JD - !!![1], and, shit, man, I could remember all the bad times in the cold world, or ... stay right here having fun as usual[2], and, man, I can't leave, uh ... just like the Wolfman, I'm not a young man no more, but I ain't bothered, man[1], and I'm a regular JD - !!![2], and, yes, a-ROUND in circles I go, transmitting to the cosmos ... / and they'll never catch me![1], and, man, I can't leave, uh ... just like the Wolfman, I'm not a young man no more, but I ain't bothered, man[2], and, YOU(!) ... how you doing? 'Me?' No, I'm talking to the other fifty creeps here, ha![1], and, yes, a-ROUND in circles I go, transmitting to the cosmos ... / and they'll never catch me![2], and give me, give me, give me ... a bottle of Old Harper![1], and, YOU(!) ... how you doing? 'Me?' No, I'm talking to the other fifty creeps here, ha![2], and I'm the shaman! / So ...[3], and give me, give me, give me ... a bottle of Old Harper![2], and I tell you one thing, man: I would love to live in American Graffiti / Actually, in the film, you dig?[3], and come for a ride, kook or square - anybody![3], and it's either me or the Pharaohs ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and I might cut over to G Street[3], and, sure, it's magical thinking, but this is the place for it[3], and ... 'No squares, Mikey!' / and - Ha! I was only joking, Voice / Ah, it's kooks I need, and kooks I want[3], and ... kooks I will get![3], and we're gonna rock and roll ourselves to death, baby![3], and it must have been a GOLDEN AGE / Yes, it must have been, I'm saying it must have been[3], and a past I never had ...[3], and film or conceptual? BOTH!!! / Trapped forever, with Louie, and Louie, and Louie ...[3], and ... cherry bomb![3], and I beg my consciousness ness to let me stay, oh, never leave, let me stay, please![3], and, bar, bar, bar, bar, barb, bar, barb, bar ...[3], and, shit, man, I could remember all the bad times in the cold world, or ... stay right here having fun as usual[3], and I'm a regular JD - !!![3], and, man, I can't leave, uh ... just like the Wolfman, I'm not a young man no more, but I ain't bothered, man[3], and, yes, a-ROUND in circles I go, transmitting to the cosmos ... / and they'll never catch me![3], and, YOU(!) ... how you doing? 'Me?' No, I'm talking to the other fifty creeps here, ha![3], and give me, give me, give me ... a bottle of Old Harper![3], and

And I'm the shaman! / So ...[1], and I tell you one thing, man: I would love to live in American Graffiti / Actually, in the film, you dig?[1], and I'm the shaman! / So ...[2], and come for a ride, kook or square - anybody![1], and I tell you one thing, man: I would love to live in American Graffiti / Actually, in the film, you dig?[2], and it's either me or the Pharaohs ...[1], and come for a ride, kook or square - anybody![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and I might cut over to G Street[1], and it's either me or the Pharaohs ...[2], and, sure, it's magical thinking, but this is the place for it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and I might cut over to G Street[2], and ... 'No squares, Mikey!' / and - Ha! I was only joking, Voice / Ah, it's kooks I need, and kooks I want[1], and, sure, it's magical thinking, but this is the place for it[2], and ... kooks I will get![1], and ... 'No squares, Mikey!' / and - Ha! I was only joking, Voice / Ah, it's kooks I need, and kooks I want[2], and we're gonna rock and roll ourselves to death, baby![1], and ... kooks I will get![2], and it must have been a GOLDEN AGE / Yes, it must have been, I'm saying it must have been[1], and we're gonna rock and roll ourselves to death, baby![2], and a past I never had ...[1], and it must have been a GOLDEN AGE / Yes, it must have been, I'm saying it must have been[2], and film or conceptual? BOTH!!! / Trapped forever, with Louie, and Louie, and Louie ...[1], and a past I never had ...[2], and ... cherry bomb![1], and film or conceptual? BOTH!!! / Trapped forever, with Louie, and Louie, and Louie ...[2], and I beg my consciousness ness to let me stay, oh, never leave, let me stay, please![1], and ... cherry bomb![2], and, bar, bar, bar, bar, barb, bar, barb, bar ...[1], and I beg my consciousness ness to let me stay, oh, never leave, let me stay, please![2], and, shit, man, I could remember all the bad times in the cold world, or ... stay right here having fun as usual[1], and, bar, bar, bar, bar, barb, bar, barb, bar ...[2], and I'm a regular JD - !!![1], and, shit, man, I could remember all the bad times in the cold world, or ... stay right here having fun as usual[2], and, man, I can't leave, uh ... just like the Wolfman, I'm not a young man no more, but I ain't bothered, man[1], and I'm a regular JD - !!![2], and, yes, a-ROUND in circles I go, transmitting to the cosmos ... / and they'll never catch me![1], and, man, I can't leave, uh ... just like the Wolfman, I'm not a young man no more, but I ain't bothered, man[2], and, YOU(!) ... how you doing? 'Me?' No, I'm talking to the other fifty creeps here, ha![1], and, yes, a-ROUND in circles I go, transmitting to the cosmos ... / and they'll never catch me![2], and give me, give me, give me ... a bottle of Old Harper![1], and, YOU(!) ... how you doing? 'Me?' No, I'm talking to the other fifty creeps here, ha![2], and I'm the shaman! / So ...[3], and give me, give me, give me ... a bottle of Old Harper![2], and I tell you one thing, man: I would love to live in American Graffiti / Actually, in the film, you dig?[3], and come for a ride, kook or square - anybody![3], and it's either me or the Pharaohs ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and I might cut over to G Street[3], and, sure, it's magical thinking, but this is the place for it[3], and ... 'No squares, Mikey!' / and - Ha! I was only joking, Voice / Ah, it's kooks I need, and kooks I want[3], and ... kooks I will get![3], and we're gonna rock and roll ourselves to death, baby![3], and it must have been a GOLDEN AGE / Yes, it must have been, I'm saying it must have been[3], and a past I never had ...[3], and film or conceptual? BOTH!!! / Trapped forever, with Louie, and Louie, and Louie ...[3], and ... cherry bomb![3], and I beg my consciousness ness to let me stay, oh, never leave, let me stay, please![3], and, bar, bar, bar, bar, barb, bar, barb, bar ...[3], and, shit, man, I could remember all the bad times in the cold world, or ... stay right here having fun as usual[3], and I'm a regular JD - !!![3], and, man, I can't leave, uh ... just like the Wolfman, I'm not a young man no more, but I ain't bothered, man[3], and, yes, a-ROUND in circles I go, transmitting to the cosmos ... / and they'll never catch me![3], and, YOU(!) ... how you doing? 'Me?' No, I'm talking to the other fifty creeps here, ha![3], and give me, give me, give me ... a bottle of Old Harper![3], and

Fay Hendon, Abi Turnidge, Natasha Crosby, and Celina Lighton ...

Well, well ... / Aviva Investors has got some sort of new team, apparently. 'Some sort of intermediary sales team, boss, which will be based in London, or so they say - if we can believe them.' Well, it's a smart move, Voice. Lots of nice parks in London, and it's the first of June tomorrow. Hopefully, the team will have three months of glorious sunshine. Er ...

Actually, I don't know if the team is up and running yet. 'They better get a move on.' Fay Hendon is the leader of the team. She's joined from Axa Investment Managers. Abi Turnidge has joined from M&G, so ... 'What about the other two, boss?' Oh, the other two are internal, from Aviva Investors, like. 'So they know the culture then. They'll be able to show Fay and Abi the ropes.' Yeah, of course ... where to get the best ice creams, and who to talk to at Schroders about the funds.

Well, I hope it all works out for them. And I'm in London, so ... 'So, uh, what?' So, man ... if they're in the park one sunny afternoon, and they want some company, and I'm not too busy blogging or playing my guitar, I might go and hang out with them - if they invite me. 'Yeah. If they invite you.' Well, why wouldn't they? I'm the world's foremost financial shaman, Voice, and ... the biggest champion of Aviva Investors on the internet. It's a no-brainer.

...

Anyway. Is there anything else? No, not really. 'Didn't George send you another PR email?' George?! George, who?! 'George! Nigel's mate.' Oh, George. You mean George. Our Nigel's mate. 'Yeah.' Yeah, he did. But ... I don't know. It's like I’m being stalked or something. 'Ha!' It's best to leave it, man. Seriously.

Music? Politics? I haven't got much to say ... / YouGov reckons there might be a hung parliament. 'Ha!' Yeah, I thought there was going to be a landslide, what with all that strong and stable bollocks everyone loves so much. Funny old business, ain't it?

Well, music? I'm not listening to anything, reader(s).

I'll do a conceptual later, No. 517. / Laters, blog and pop fan(s)!

Paul Singer has investing rules, lessons

Well, yes. Or something. I don't know. And he wrote them in a letter to ... uh, investors. Five of them. 'Five investors?' Rules. So ... 'Paul, who, boss?' Paul Singer, man. 'Oh.' Yeah, he's that billionaire, hedge fund guy, Elliott Management, against the minimum wage, over in America. 'Only in America?' He lives in America, Voice. He travels a bit, I suppose, maybe. 'No, is this Paul only against it in America?' Against what? What are you talking about?! Listen, son, I'm not much in the mood for your jokes this morning. Let's just get this done, yeah? I was going to tell the readers about my investing rules, lessons, whatever. 'Do you have any?' Ha! Oh, I can get some. I mean, I can pretend, for the sake of this blog post. 'Great!' I don't know what else to write about. There isn't much news.

Right ...

Security prices can be high or they can be low. You can buy them when you want. Who cares? I certainly don't.

The market is turning all the time like a cruel sea or mistress. There's nothing you can do about it. Just enjoy the ride.

When there are big changes in market prices, no one knows why and maybe they will never find out if they have a normal, healthy life to live.

You don't want big losses. Try to avoid big losses. Because instead of being rich you will probably be poor. If you keep on at it, that is.

If you want to be successful as a money manager, you need to be one with the cosmos. Let the consciousness ness of the universal soul pass through you, and you won't go far wrong.

And that's it! 'Christ, boss! Paul Singer put all that in a letter to his investors?! The guy is a nut!' They are my rules, you idiot! 'Oh. / Well, they're good. Very good.' Thank you.

...

Anything else? Politics? 'No!' I don't discuss politics. I'm sick of it. However ... / Apparently, Theresa May will admit today that Brexit will be an utter disaster unless we can get a good deal with the European Union. 'But aren't they talking about walking away without a deal?' Yes, they are.

Bloody hell! We already have the best deal available. This whole thing is insane. Wealth and jobs and lives will be destroyed. For what? For the illusion of sovereignty. And, uh, control. But, dear reader(s) ... NOTHING WILL CHANGE within you in regards to "sovereignty" and "control". You won't feel any fucking different, trust me. You'll just be poorer and maybe even hungry.

[No. 516] My fresh start, number ...

Yeah, seriously.

And ... I mean it, man![1], and conceptual magic ... it ain't tragic[1], and ... I mean it, man![2], and clean my brain, and, oh, clean my soul, yes ... let everything be GONE(!)[1], and conceptual magic ... it ain't tragic[2], and, uh ... keep moving![1], and clean my brain, and, oh, clean my soul, yes ... let everything be GONE(!)[2], and this is the place where dreams are born and where they grow, my friend(s), my kook(s)[1], and, uh ... keep moving![2], and I, I, I ... do it NOW(!)[1], and this is the place where dreams are born and where they grow, my friend(s), my kook(s)[2], and in the day, or in the night, it don't matter, no one knows the time, but it's eternal[1], and I, I, I ... do it NOW(!)[2], and the past clings to us and it's dirty[1], and in the day, or in the night, it don't matter, no one knows the time, but it's eternal[2], and ... what are you doing? Are you looking for a fresh start, yourself, like? / Seriously ...[1], and the past clings to us and it's dirty[2], and, well, well, yes - yes?[1], and ... what are you doing? Are you looking for a fresh start, yourself, like? / Seriously ...[2], and ... faster![1], and, well, well, yes - yes?[2], and it's so easy to forget - when you're spinning a-ROUND - just how awful everything is[1], and ... faster![2], and where's the sense, really? / 'Ha!'[1], and it's so easy to forget - when you're spinning a-ROUND - just how awful everything is[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes as much sense as anything else[1], and where's the sense, really? / 'Ha!'[2], and try not to think, just feel - you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes as much sense as anything else[2], and be calm, please![1], and try not to think, just feel - you dig?[2], and one, two, beyond ... each spin is another chance to change / if you're not happy with shit[1], and be calm, please![2], and the ... THREE - ?![1], and one, two, beyond ... each spin is another chance to change / if you're not happy with shit[2], and you may want words ... / 'Me?!' / but I got sounds, and sounds are better[1], and the ... THREE - ?![2], and stressed out? / Uh, you can be a spectator if it's all too much for you[1], and you may want words ... / 'Me?!' / but I got sounds, and sounds are better[2], and I don't mind / and I'm a born entertainer[1], and stressed out? / Uh, you can be a spectator if it's all too much for you[2], and maybe I'll return to the COLD WORLD ... so refreshed, and with new powers![1], and I don't mind / and I'm a born entertainer[2], and just watch me now[1], and maybe I'll return to the COLD WORLD ... so refreshed, and with new powers![2], and ... I mean it, man![3], and just watch me now[2], and conceptual magic ... it ain't tragic[3], and clean my brain, and, oh, clean my soul, yes ... let everything be GONE(!)[3], and, uh ... keep moving![3], and this is the place where dreams are born and where they grow, my friend(s), my kook(s)[3], and I, I, I ... do it NOW(!)[3], and in the day, or in the night, it don't matter, no one knows the time, but it's eternal[3], and the past clings to us and it's dirty[3], and ... what are you doing? Are you looking for a fresh start, yourself, like? / Seriously ...[3], and, well, well, yes - yes?[3], and ... faster![3], and it's so easy to forget - when you're spinning a-ROUND - just how awful everything is[3], and where's the sense, really? / 'Ha!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes as much sense as anything else[3], and try not to think, just feel - you dig?[3], and be calm, please![3], and one, two, beyond ... each spin is another chance to change / if you're not happy with shit[3], and the ... THREE - ?![3], and you may want words ... / 'Me?!' / but I got sounds, and sounds are better[3], and stressed out? / Uh, you can be a spectator if it's all too much for you[3], and I don't mind / and I'm a born entertainer[3], and maybe I'll return to the COLD WORLD ... so refreshed, and with new powers![3], and just watch me now[3], and

And ... I mean it, man![1], and conceptual magic ... it ain't tragic[1], and ... I mean it, man![2], and clean my brain, and, oh, clean my soul, yes ... let everything be GONE(!)[1], and conceptual magic ... it ain't tragic[2], and, uh ... keep moving![1], and clean my brain, and, oh, clean my soul, yes ... let everything be GONE(!)[2], and this is the place where dreams are born and where they grow, my friend(s), my kook(s)[1], and, uh ... keep moving![2], and I, I, I ... do it NOW(!)[1], and this is the place where dreams are born and where they grow, my friend(s), my kook(s)[2], and in the day, or in the night, it don't matter, no one knows the time, but it's eternal[1], and I, I, I ... do it NOW(!)[2], and the past clings to us and it's dirty[1], and in the day, or in the night, it don't matter, no one knows the time, but it's eternal[2], and ... what are you doing? Are you looking for a fresh start, yourself, like? / Seriously ...[1], and the past clings to us and it's dirty[2], and, well, well, yes - yes?[1], and ... what are you doing? Are you looking for a fresh start, yourself, like? / Seriously ...[2], and ... faster![1], and, well, well, yes - yes?[2], and it's so easy to forget - when you're spinning a-ROUND - just how awful everything is[1], and ... faster![2], and where's the sense, really? / 'Ha!'[1], and it's so easy to forget - when you're spinning a-ROUND - just how awful everything is[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes as much sense as anything else[1], and where's the sense, really? / 'Ha!'[2], and try not to think, just feel - you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes as much sense as anything else[2], and be calm, please![1], and try not to think, just feel - you dig?[2], and one, two, beyond ... each spin is another chance to change / if you're not happy with shit[1], and be calm, please![2], and the ... THREE - ?![1], and one, two, beyond ... each spin is another chance to change / if you're not happy with shit[2], and you may want words ... / 'Me?!' / but I got sounds, and sounds are better[1], and the ... THREE - ?![2], and stressed out? / Uh, you can be a spectator if it's all too much for you[1], and you may want words ... / 'Me?!' / but I got sounds, and sounds are better[2], and I don't mind / and I'm a born entertainer[1], and stressed out? / Uh, you can be a spectator if it's all too much for you[2], and maybe I'll return to the COLD WORLD ... so refreshed, and with new powers![1], and I don't mind / and I'm a born entertainer[2], and just watch me now[1], and maybe I'll return to the COLD WORLD ... so refreshed, and with new powers![2], and ... I mean it, man![3], and just watch me now[2], and conceptual magic ... it ain't tragic[3], and clean my brain, and, oh, clean my soul, yes ... let everything be GONE(!)[3], and, uh ... keep moving![3], and this is the place where dreams are born and where they grow, my friend(s), my kook(s)[3], and I, I, I ... do it NOW(!)[3], and in the day, or in the night, it don't matter, no one knows the time, but it's eternal[3], and the past clings to us and it's dirty[3], and ... what are you doing? Are you looking for a fresh start, yourself, like? / Seriously ...[3], and, well, well, yes - yes?[3], and ... faster![3], and it's so easy to forget - when you're spinning a-ROUND - just how awful everything is[3], and where's the sense, really? / 'Ha!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes as much sense as anything else[3], and try not to think, just feel - you dig?[3], and be calm, please![3], and one, two, beyond ... each spin is another chance to change / if you're not happy with shit[3], and the ... THREE - ?![3], and you may want words ... / 'Me?!' / but I got sounds, and sounds are better[3], and stressed out? / Uh, you can be a spectator if it's all too much for you[3], and I don't mind / and I'm a born entertainer[3], and maybe I'll return to the COLD WORLD ... so refreshed, and with new powers![3], and just watch me now[3], and

And ... I mean it, man![1], and conceptual magic ... it ain't tragic[1], and ... I mean it, man![2], and clean my brain, and, oh, clean my soul, yes ... let everything be GONE(!)[1], and conceptual magic ... it ain't tragic[2], and, uh ... keep moving![1], and clean my brain, and, oh, clean my soul, yes ... let everything be GONE(!)[2], and this is the place where dreams are born and where they grow, my friend(s), my kook(s)[1], and, uh ... keep moving![2], and I, I, I ... do it NOW(!)[1], and this is the place where dreams are born and where they grow, my friend(s), my kook(s)[2], and in the day, or in the night, it don't matter, no one knows the time, but it's eternal[1], and I, I, I ... do it NOW(!)[2], and the past clings to us and it's dirty[1], and in the day, or in the night, it don't matter, no one knows the time, but it's eternal[2], and ... what are you doing? Are you looking for a fresh start, yourself, like? / Seriously ...[1], and the past clings to us and it's dirty[2], and, well, well, yes - yes?[1], and ... what are you doing? Are you looking for a fresh start, yourself, like? / Seriously ...[2], and ... faster![1], and, well, well, yes - yes?[2], and it's so easy to forget - when you're spinning a-ROUND - just how awful everything is[1], and ... faster![2], and where's the sense, really? / 'Ha!'[1], and it's so easy to forget - when you're spinning a-ROUND - just how awful everything is[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes as much sense as anything else[1], and where's the sense, really? / 'Ha!'[2], and try not to think, just feel - you dig?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes as much sense as anything else[2], and be calm, please![1], and try not to think, just feel - you dig?[2], and one, two, beyond ... each spin is another chance to change / if you're not happy with shit[1], and be calm, please![2], and the ... THREE - ?![1], and one, two, beyond ... each spin is another chance to change / if you're not happy with shit[2], and you may want words ... / 'Me?!' / but I got sounds, and sounds are better[1], and the ... THREE - ?![2], and stressed out? / Uh, you can be a spectator if it's all too much for you[1], and you may want words ... / 'Me?!' / but I got sounds, and sounds are better[2], and I don't mind / and I'm a born entertainer[1], and stressed out? / Uh, you can be a spectator if it's all too much for you[2], and maybe I'll return to the COLD WORLD ... so refreshed, and with new powers![1], and I don't mind / and I'm a born entertainer[2], and just watch me now[1], and maybe I'll return to the COLD WORLD ... so refreshed, and with new powers![2], and ... I mean it, man![3], and just watch me now[2], and conceptual magic ... it ain't tragic[3], and clean my brain, and, oh, clean my soul, yes ... let everything be GONE(!)[3], and, uh ... keep moving![3], and this is the place where dreams are born and where they grow, my friend(s), my kook(s)[3], and I, I, I ... do it NOW(!)[3], and in the day, or in the night, it don't matter, no one knows the time, but it's eternal[3], and the past clings to us and it's dirty[3], and ... what are you doing? Are you looking for a fresh start, yourself, like? / Seriously ...[3], and, well, well, yes - yes?[3], and ... faster![3], and it's so easy to forget - when you're spinning a-ROUND - just how awful everything is[3], and where's the sense, really? / 'Ha!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... makes as much sense as anything else[3], and try not to think, just feel - you dig?[3], and be calm, please![3], and one, two, beyond ... each spin is another chance to change / if you're not happy with shit[3], and the ... THREE - ?![3], and you may want words ... / 'Me?!' / but I got sounds, and sounds are better[3], and stressed out? / Uh, you can be a spectator if it's all too much for you[3], and I don't mind / and I'm a born entertainer[3], and maybe I'll return to the COLD WORLD ... so refreshed, and with new powers![3], and just watch me now[3], and

Bubbles deVere is expanding!

Well, well ... / That's good news, ain't it, dear reader(s)? 'Is this another PR email, boss?' Yes, Voice. So? 'Well, you've done a lot of these Bubbles ones ...' Well, okay, I'll pack them in, but, BUT(!) ... this one is rather important, man. 'Oh.' The bubble is expanding!

One of the world's largest independent financial services organizations is to "extensively expand and develop" its operations across Western Europe with a new regional boss, it has today been revealed.

Er, today ... 'When did you get the email?' Uh, four days ago. 'Okay. So it's not today, is it? That's something they've got wrong, right at the beginning. Christ!' Don't blame them, Voice. It's not their fault. Well, it might be their fault. They didn't send it until the end of last week. Never mind.

The move is part of the conclusions reached by the company-wide Strategic Review of its global business operation that began in March. It is expected to be finalized within a week. The company will, once completed, provide a full and comprehensive breakdown of its findings.

Okay. What does Nigel say?

Bubbles deVere Group founder and Chief Executive, Nigel Green, comments: "One of the decisions we have made, based on the Strategic Review of our corporate structure and operating units is to extensively expand and develop our already solid position across Western Europe. This expansion and development of the region is now a major priority for the organization for the rest of 2017 and beyond. We're set to shake-up the Western Europe market place. Of that, I am confident."

He's confident. 'Bloody hell, boss!' Yeah, I know. This is some serious shit, man. Big time.

"Underscoring our commitment to this move, we're committing extra investment and resources to Western Europe. This will include expanding our existing bases in Spain, France, Germany, Switzerland and Italy and opening at least two more offices in the region. Of course, this will create a raft of new and extremely rewarding career opportunities for talented advisers to work within a growing, responsible organization."

Raft? As long as it ain't the Raft of the Medusa. 'Ha!' No, it won't be. / Now, uh ... does Nigel continue? 'He seems the sort.' Let's see ...

He continues: "To head up this exciting new era in the region is my son, James, who has successfully led teams of senior wealth advisers in some of our most competitive areas across the Middle East and India in recent years. He is also a highly skilled wealth and investment manager in his own right who has deVere's 'client-first' culture in his DNA."

In his DNA. Fair enough. Well, that's it. 'Hang on, boss!' What, Voice? 'Our Nigel is going on ... to say.' You're kidding! 'Nope.' Jesus! All right.

Nigel Green goes on to say: "The decision is partly fuelled by three key factors: First, the increasingly buoyant economy in Western Europe; second, the increasing demand from the growing number of expats and international investors who are relocating there and who need specialist cross-border financial advice; and third to help close the 'advice black hole' that exists due to many advisers exiting the market due to high operating costs and to them routinely rejecting clients who aren't deemed 'high-net-worth enough'."

Okay, okay, okay. Okay. And is that it?! Please tell me - 'Ha!' Oh, for fuck's sake!

The Bubbles deVere CEO concludes: "In short, Western Europe represents an enormous opportunity for growth for the company and we intend to explore this to the maximum. When the Strategic Review was launched in March, Nigel Green (?!?!?!), said: As we move into our fifteenth year, and still dominating the international advisory sector, we have recently embarked on a strategic review of not only our corporate structures but also our operating units. The process which we've now begun will allow us to take a bird's eye view perspective of where we need to go as a business in order to maintain and expand on our market-leading position. It will enable us as a business to see in which areas and markets we need to reduce our presence, where we should invest and develop more quickly and in more depth, and with which products and services. The Strategic Review will, no doubt, result in a comprehensive period of restructuring."

?!?!?! - !!! / That's it now. 'Thank God!' NO MORE BUBBLES DEVERE GROUP EMAILS FOR A WHILE. I think we all need a break, reader(s).

Right, lunch, soon. Then No. 516. 'Yippee!' Laters.

Gatewood Capital Partners - ?!

Right. Okay. This "new" firm has been around for a decade, apparently, but has only just closed its first fund, Gatewood Capital Opportunity Fund LP. What's going on?!

NEW YORK, NY 5/24/17 - Gatewood Capital Partners ("Gatewood"), a New York based private equity firm, announced today ("Yesterday") the successful closing of its first fund, Gatewood Capital Opportunity Fund L.P., with more than $220 million in capital commitments, significantly exceeding its $150 million target. Gatewood Capital Partners seeks to make strategic seed and sponsorship investments in highly qualified emerging managers by providing significant anchor capital. Gatewood expects to launch and invest in more than eight funds over the next three years, with capital sourced from a combination of its discretionary fund and limited partners' co-investments.

Eight funds?! Strange! 'Christ! It's simple, boss.' Go on then, Voice. Tell us. 'Well, this first fund has obviously been open for a long time, and now it's closed. And now they've got the taste for it. There's no mystery, man.' Well, okay, man ... if you say so. I mean, you're the financial expert around here. But I have to say that eight funds is very ambitious ... / Anyway, Gatewood, Gatewood, Gatewood. Have we heard of Gatewood before? 'No.'

Gatewood Capital Partners is an innovative private equity firm with a dedicated fund that seeks to make seed and sponsorship-level investments in highly qualified investment managers pursuing a wide range of private equity and other alternative investments strategies.

Well, there you are, dear reader(s). Gatewood Capital Partners. Private equity. / Oh ... amazingly, they only wanted $150 million for this Opportunity Fund LP thing but ended up with $220 million. 'Good karma, boss.' It must be. Hang on! 'What?' The firm was founded in 2014, uh, according to this. 'What?' Eh? 'This what?' This, man! That's not a decade, is it? 'No. It could be a mistake.' Whatever. I don't even care. I really don't. Let's move on, shall we, dear reader(s)? 'To what, boss?' Er ... ha!

...

Anything else? No, not a lot. This is the last post of the week. I'm knackered. I need a rest. I think it's those conceptual posts, you know. I really do need to cut down to just one a week. But I'm addicted, man. 'You should go to Conceptual Spinners Anonymous, Mikey.' Yeah, right.

Laters.

[No. 515] Closed off

Sealed.

And, oh ... ![1], and let me spin a-ROUND in peace, please![1], and, oh ... ![2], and slow, fast[1], and let me spin a-ROUND in peace, please![2], and I'm soft and light ... just like a lovely feather, and my eyes are heavy, yes, falling asleep[1], and slow, fast[2], and it's a private affair, this / invitation only, kooks![1], and I'm soft and light ... just like a lovely feather, and my eyes are heavy, yes, falling asleep[2], and squares can do one[1], and it's a private affair, this / invitation only, kooks![2], and I'm happy here ... / ... and if I go, I'll be GONE(!) ... on my own terms, yes, beyond the THREE[1], and squares can do one[2], and silence![1], and I'm happy here ... / ... and if I go, I'll be GONE(!) ... on my own terms, yes, beyond the THREE[2], and, yes, you, you, YOU(!) ... tell me no NONSENSE and I'll tell you no TRUTHs[1], and silence![2], and don't think / try to feel[1], and, yes, you, you, YOU(!) ... tell me no NONSENSE and I'll tell you no TRUTHs[2], and full of shit ain't a good look, man[1], and don't think / try to feel[2], and it's very irritating when you insist on thinking / uh, you're no good at it, son![1], and full of shit ain't a good look, man[2], and your mind will dissolve in my truth[1], and it's very irritating when you insist on thinking / uh, you're no good at it, son![2], and this ... is nice[1], and your mind will dissolve in my truth[2], and I'm so clean and pure now / and no cares, no cares, no cares ... in the world, or out of it[1], and this ... is nice[2], and ... - !!![1], and I'm so clean and pure now / and no cares, no cares, no cares ... in the world, or out of it[2], and maybe one day I'll take a disgusting holiday in your evil reality, but until that day ... let me spin![1], and ... - !!![2], and I love you, kooks, it's okay[1], and maybe one day I'll take a disgusting holiday in your evil reality, but until that day ... let me spin![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and don't drag me down[1], and I love you, kooks, it's okay[2], and I'm free - you dig? / No, you don't, ha![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and don't drag me down[2], and if I hold the two trillion galaxies in my mind ... you seem even more absurd than usual[1], and I'm free - you dig? / No, you don't, ha![2], and I'll be here a long time, so, er ...[1], and if I hold the two trillion galaxies in my mind ... you seem even more absurd than usual[2], and so thank you ... and good night, and good morning, for all of eternity![1], and I'll be here a long time, so, er ...[2], and, oh ... ![3], and so thank you ... and good night, and good morning, for all of eternity![2], and let me spin a-ROUND in peace, please![3], and slow, fast[3], and I'm soft and light ... just like a lovely feather, and my eyes are heavy, yes, falling asleep[3], and it's a private affair, this / invitation only, kooks![3], and squares can do one[3], and I'm happy here ... / ... and if I go, I'll be GONE(!) ... on my own terms, yes, beyond the THREE[3], and silence![3], and, yes, you, you, YOU(!) ... tell me no NONSENSE and I'll tell you no TRUTHs[3], and don't think / try to feel[3], and full of shit ain't a good look, man[3], and it's very irritating when you insist on thinking / uh, you're no good at it, son![3], and your mind will dissolve in my truth[3], and this ... is nice[3], and I'm so clean and pure now / and no cares, no cares, no cares ... in the world, or out of it[3], and ... - !!![3], and maybe one day I'll take a disgusting holiday in your evil reality, but until that day ... let me spin![3], and I love you, kooks, it's okay[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and don't drag me down[3], and I'm free - you dig? / No, you don't, ha![3], and if I hold the two trillion galaxies in my mind ... you seem even more absurd than usual[3], and I'll be here a long time, so, er ...[3], and so thank you ... and good night, and good morning, for all of eternity![3], and

And, oh ... ![1], and let me spin a-ROUND in peace, please![1], and, oh ... ![2], and slow, fast[1], and let me spin a-ROUND in peace, please![2], and I'm soft and light ... just like a lovely feather, and my eyes are heavy, yes, falling asleep[1], and slow, fast[2], and it's a private affair, this / invitation only, kooks![1], and I'm soft and light ... just like a lovely feather, and my eyes are heavy, yes, falling asleep[2], and squares can do one[1], and it's a private affair, this / invitation only, kooks![2], and I'm happy here ... / ... and if I go, I'll be GONE(!) ... on my own terms, yes, beyond the THREE[1], and squares can do one[2], and silence![1], and I'm happy here ... / ... and if I go, I'll be GONE(!) ... on my own terms, yes, beyond the THREE[2], and, yes, you, you, YOU(!) ... tell me no NONSENSE and I'll tell you no TRUTHs[1], and silence![2], and don't think / try to feel[1], and, yes, you, you, YOU(!) ... tell me no NONSENSE and I'll tell you no TRUTHs[2], and full of shit ain't a good look, man[1], and don't think / try to feel[2], and it's very irritating when you insist on thinking / uh, you're no good at it, son![1], and full of shit ain't a good look, man[2], and your mind will dissolve in my truth[1], and it's very irritating when you insist on thinking / uh, you're no good at it, son![2], and this ... is nice[1], and your mind will dissolve in my truth[2], and I'm so clean and pure now / and no cares, no cares, no cares ... in the world, or out of it[1], and this ... is nice[2], and ... - !!![1], and I'm so clean and pure now / and no cares, no cares, no cares ... in the world, or out of it[2], and maybe one day I'll take a disgusting holiday in your evil reality, but until that day ... let me spin![1], and ... - !!![2], and I love you, kooks, it's okay[1], and maybe one day I'll take a disgusting holiday in your evil reality, but until that day ... let me spin![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and don't drag me down[1], and I love you, kooks, it's okay[2], and I'm free - you dig? / No, you don't, ha![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and don't drag me down[2], and if I hold the two trillion galaxies in my mind ... you seem even more absurd than usual[1], and I'm free - you dig? / No, you don't, ha![2], and I'll be here a long time, so, er ...[1], and if I hold the two trillion galaxies in my mind ... you seem even more absurd than usual[2], and so thank you ... and good night, and good morning, for all of eternity![1], and I'll be here a long time, so, er ...[2], and, oh ... ![3], and so thank you ... and good night, and good morning, for all of eternity![2], and let me spin a-ROUND in peace, please![3], and slow, fast[3], and I'm soft and light ... just like a lovely feather, and my eyes are heavy, yes, falling asleep[3], and it's a private affair, this / invitation only, kooks![3], and squares can do one[3], and I'm happy here ... / ... and if I go, I'll be GONE(!) ... on my own terms, yes, beyond the THREE[3], and silence![3], and, yes, you, you, YOU(!) ... tell me no NONSENSE and I'll tell you no TRUTHs[3], and don't think / try to feel[3], and full of shit ain't a good look, man[3], and it's very irritating when you insist on thinking / uh, you're no good at it, son![3], and your mind will dissolve in my truth[3], and this ... is nice[3], and I'm so clean and pure now / and no cares, no cares, no cares ... in the world, or out of it[3], and ... - !!![3], and maybe one day I'll take a disgusting holiday in your evil reality, but until that day ... let me spin![3], and I love you, kooks, it's okay[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and don't drag me down[3], and I'm free - you dig? / No, you don't, ha![3], and if I hold the two trillion galaxies in my mind ... you seem even more absurd than usual[3], and I'll be here a long time, so, er ...[3], and so thank you ... and good night, and good morning, for all of eternity![3], and

And, oh ... ![1], and let me spin a-ROUND in peace, please![1], and, oh ... ![2], and slow, fast[1], and let me spin a-ROUND in peace, please![2], and I'm soft and light ... just like a lovely feather, and my eyes are heavy, yes, falling asleep[1], and slow, fast[2], and it's a private affair, this / invitation only, kooks![1], and I'm soft and light ... just like a lovely feather, and my eyes are heavy, yes, falling asleep[2], and squares can do one[1], and it's a private affair, this / invitation only, kooks![2], and I'm happy here ... / ... and if I go, I'll be GONE(!) ... on my own terms, yes, beyond the THREE[1], and squares can do one[2], and silence![1], and I'm happy here ... / ... and if I go, I'll be GONE(!) ... on my own terms, yes, beyond the THREE[2], and, yes, you, you, YOU(!) ... tell me no NONSENSE and I'll tell you no TRUTHs[1], and silence![2], and don't think / try to feel[1], and, yes, you, you, YOU(!) ... tell me no NONSENSE and I'll tell you no TRUTHs[2], and full of shit ain't a good look, man[1], and don't think / try to feel[2], and it's very irritating when you insist on thinking / uh, you're no good at it, son![1], and full of shit ain't a good look, man[2], and your mind will dissolve in my truth[1], and it's very irritating when you insist on thinking / uh, you're no good at it, son![2], and this ... is nice[1], and your mind will dissolve in my truth[2], and I'm so clean and pure now / and no cares, no cares, no cares ... in the world, or out of it[1], and this ... is nice[2], and ... - !!![1], and I'm so clean and pure now / and no cares, no cares, no cares ... in the world, or out of it[2], and maybe one day I'll take a disgusting holiday in your evil reality, but until that day ... let me spin![1], and ... - !!![2], and I love you, kooks, it's okay[1], and maybe one day I'll take a disgusting holiday in your evil reality, but until that day ... let me spin![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and don't drag me down[1], and I love you, kooks, it's okay[2], and I'm free - you dig? / No, you don't, ha![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and don't drag me down[2], and if I hold the two trillion galaxies in my mind ... you seem even more absurd than usual[1], and I'm free - you dig? / No, you don't, ha![2], and I'll be here a long time, so, er ...[1], and if I hold the two trillion galaxies in my mind ... you seem even more absurd than usual[2], and so thank you ... and good night, and good morning, for all of eternity![1], and I'll be here a long time, so, er ...[2], and, oh ... ![3], and so thank you ... and good night, and good morning, for all of eternity![2], and let me spin a-ROUND in peace, please![3], and slow, fast[3], and I'm soft and light ... just like a lovely feather, and my eyes are heavy, yes, falling asleep[3], and it's a private affair, this / invitation only, kooks![3], and squares can do one[3], and I'm happy here ... / ... and if I go, I'll be GONE(!) ... on my own terms, yes, beyond the THREE[3], and silence![3], and, yes, you, you, YOU(!) ... tell me no NONSENSE and I'll tell you no TRUTHs[3], and don't think / try to feel[3], and full of shit ain't a good look, man[3], and it's very irritating when you insist on thinking / uh, you're no good at it, son![3], and your mind will dissolve in my truth[3], and this ... is nice[3], and I'm so clean and pure now / and no cares, no cares, no cares ... in the world, or out of it[3], and ... - !!![3], and maybe one day I'll take a disgusting holiday in your evil reality, but until that day ... let me spin![3], and I love you, kooks, it's okay[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / and don't drag me down[3], and I'm free - you dig? / No, you don't, ha![3], and if I hold the two trillion galaxies in my mind ... you seem even more absurd than usual[3], and I'll be here a long time, so, er ...[3], and so thank you ... and good night, and good morning, for all of eternity![3], and