Neil Madden or Madden Neil has left Fidelity

It all depends on whom you believe. Do you believe LinkedIn, dear reader(s)? No, I thought not. As I have long suspected some degenerate has been making up profiles on LinkedIn. The question is: WHY?! Why on earth would someone spend their time on such nonsense? 'Maybe it's Neil who did it, boss.' Oh, and why, my lovely Voice, would Neil want to call himself "Madden Neil"? 'I don't know, man. Maybe he's mental. Or at least a little bit eccentric.' Yeah, maybe.

Christ! It doesn't bear thinking about. Is Neil Madden mental? Is he a little bit eccentric? Does this explain why he's left Fidelity and is now seriously considering moving to Australia? Why would he want to stop managing his European Value fund? Why is he calling himself Madden Neil? It's basically Mad Neil, ain't it? Jesus H. Christ! / Yeah, this is what finance does to people. Neil was at Fidelity for twelve years, man. 'That's long enough to disturb anyone's mind, Mikey.' What a nightmare!

And you wonder, dear reader(s), why I'm moving out of the financial shamanism game and into the rock and roll shamanism game. This is why! Syd Barrett at his very worst never went around calling himself Barrett Syd, did he? Fucking hell!

Well, Neil, mate, if you're reading this, good luck with your MBA, and good luck with your new life in Australia (if you're serious about it). Shine on you crazy diamond!

...

Anything else? Well, lunch, then No. 249. I'll be taking Panos Theofilopoulos for a spin. Or Theofilopoulos Panos. He's taking over Neil's fund at Fidelity.

I'll try to squeeze some guitar playing in today. Wednesdays and Thursdays are big blogging days, but the rest of the week(s) I'm gonna be like Coltrane or Hendrix. It's the nuclear option. I don't give a shit any more. My guitar is my life, you dig?

THE NUCLEAR OPTION

This ain't about finance. No, no, no. Cut me some slack, reader(s), for Christ's sake! I'm in pieces! There'll be financial news on Wednesday. Come back then. RIGHT NOW, I got the blues ... got them real bad. / THE NUCLEAR OPTION!!! / What's the nuclear option? It's playing the guitar the way John Coltrane played the saxophone. I mean around the clock, open all hours, we never close, 24/7, this mutha is serious. I mean falling asleep with the guitar in your hands, yeah? Why?! Oh, well, well ... three or four hours guitar practice a day ain't cutting it. I've just tried recording my songs again, and I'm not happy. I'm bloody miserable, in fact. Too many mistakes, and bad vibes!

What am I going to do?! / A Telecaster might help. I need to break out of this rut. I need to get crazy!

Of course, I could go back to the piano. [NO!] I used to play when I was younger, teenage years, and it's piss-easy compared to the guitar. Life on Mars? - ? Or some Chopin shit? No problem! I can do that! Alas, I don't like the look of piano-based singer/songwriters. Too GODDAMN square! Christ! Who would want to be Neil Sedaka or Gary Barlow, sitting down, tinkling the ivories, uh, when you can set fire to your guitar and kiss the sky like Jimi Hendrix? Ha! It's a fucking no-brainer, man! And Hendrix was just like Coltrane, obsessed.

Hey ... Joe!

This is a crisis, but, but ... / Tomorrow, I'm not touching my guitar, no, tomorrow, and I'm not writing my blog, no, tomorrow. I'm going out SOMEWHERE to get my head straight, you dig? I need to think about the future. And I need to relax a bit. It's beyond a joke! I need a drink.

I gotta be a voodoo child!

[Oh, by the way, I'm not going to use Martin 80/20 bronze strings any more. I put some on today and they can't compare to the D’Addario phosphor bronze ones. Unfortunately, I have six packs of them. Anyone want to buy some guitar strings? They're not that bad.]

Foxy!

Deeb Salem says Goldman Sachs owes him $20 million!

Yeah, $20 million. Not bad for a bit of work. But Deeb ain't getting the money because a judge in New York has said that Goldman doesn't owe him $20 million in bonuses. Unsurprisingly, Goldman also says it doesn't owe the money. / Well, I don't know who to believe, and I'm not getting involved. (Bobby D still owes me half a million pounds for all my shamanic work. We all have problems.) My advice to Deeb is: Move on with your life, son. You have a nice job at GoldenTree Asset Management now. Worse things happen at sea.

...

That's enough finance for a Monday morning.

...

Music? Well, I might do some recording today. (Might not.) I've been playing the guitar a lot lately and I feel ready to have another go at my demo. My fingers are on fire, you dig?

...

Anything else? Lunch? Er ... I haven't been to the shop yet. So I can't tell you what sandwich I'm having - for sure. However, I have to say I really fancy a cheese sandwich. ('You always have a cheese sandwich, Mikey.' No I don't! I have egg sandwiches, too.) Let's see how things develop, yeah?

DMC Partners isn't launching a fund after all

Which is fine, I reckon. Totally fine. We can't have everyone launching funds, can we? I mean, there's a three-legged cat in my street, and he hasn't launched a fund. (Imagine if he did!) / Obviously, it's a disappointment for the guys involved - Edward Eisler, Sam Wisnia and Chris Barter (all ex-Goldman), and Philippe Costeletos and the legendary Ken Costa. / Personally, I think they're well out of it. The rumour is, they're not even active at the moment, you know, in finance. Perfect! Nothing wrong with that at all.

The fact is, these guys have loads of cash, they're all rich, and you can get a pretty good Stratocaster or Telecaster for £500/£600. (I'll only be getting a cheap Tele, myself, for around £140.) So, my advice to the guys is: Do what David Essex did! I'm talking about the final scene of That'll Be The Day where he buys a guitar. The man in the shop says to him, "Right, sure you'll be able to handle it?" and Essex replies, "Yeah, I'll be all right." That's what I'm going to do when I go to Argos soon. (As long as the staff play along, of course.)

...

Oh, I'm worn out. End of the week, eh? Pub, more guitar playing. Hopefully, there'll be a bit of sun.

See you later, crocodile(s)!

[No. 248] Blake Hutchins, the forgotten man?

He used to be known as Jenny's guy - ?

And this isn't the place for sense[1], and I don't care what Bacharach and David say ... We'll never forget our Blake[1], and this isn't the place for sense[2], and here we are, confused again![1], and I don't care what Bacharach and David say ... We'll never forget our Blake[2], and Blake used to work at Aviva Investors ... / So, is there a concern about his work ethic?[1], and here we are, confused again![2], and institutional portfolios don't keep you warm at night ...[1], and Blake used to work at Aviva Investors ... / So, is there a concern about his work ethic?[2], and / One night a stranger came and stole his love away ... David Aird? / But Blake has followed Simon, not Jenny[1], and institutional portfolios don't keep you warm at night ...[2], and it's very confusing ... a mix of reality and fantasy, just the way I hate it / I'm not well ...[1], and / One night a stranger came and stole his love away ... David Aird? / But Blake has followed Simon, not Jenny[2], and / Are they afraid he'll start to cry? ... / ...[1], and it's very confusing ... a mix of reality and fantasy, just the way I hate it / I'm not well ...[2], and I could fight it - ?[1], and / Are they afraid he'll start to cry? ... / ...[2], and Blake wasn't the man who shot Liberty Valance! / I've been known to go too far[1], and I could fight it - ?[2], and  ... it's my consciousness![1], and Blake wasn't the man who shot Liberty Valance! / I've been known to go too far[2], and the words keep coming ... / That's why they're whispering, walking alone, all alone ...[1], and  ... it's my consciousness![2], and has Blake had enough of living in Simon's shadow? / 'No!'[1], and the words keep coming ... / That's why they're whispering, walking alone, all alone ...[2], and ... / One word leads to another word, they spin a-ROUND, and ... they will never stop[1], and has Blake had enough of living in Simon's shadow? / 'No!'[2], and I ain't fresh as a daisy no more![1], and ... / One word leads to another word, they spin a-ROUND, and ... they will never stop[2], and this isn't the place for sense[3], and I ain't fresh as a daisy no more![2], and I don't care what Bacharach and David say ... We'll never forget our Blake[3], and here we are, confused again![3], and Blake used to work at Aviva Investors ... / So, is there a concern about his work ethic?[3], and institutional portfolios don't keep you warm at night ...[3], and / One night a stranger came and stole his love away ... David Aird? / But Blake has followed Simon, not Jenny[3], and it's very confusing ... a mix of reality and fantasy, just the way I hate it / I'm not well ...[3], and / Are they afraid he'll start to cry? ... / ...[3], and I could fight it - ?[3], and Blake wasn't the man who shot Liberty Valance! / I've been known to go too far[3], and  ... it's my consciousness![3], and the words keep coming ... / That's why they're whispering, walking alone, all alone ...[3], and has Blake had enough of living in Simon's shadow? / 'No!'[3], and ... / One word leads to another word, they spin a-ROUND, and ... they will never stop[3], and I ain't fresh as a daisy no more![3], and

And this isn't the place for sense[1], and I don't care what Bacharach and David say ... We'll never forget our Blake[1], and this isn't the place for sense[2], and here we are, confused again![1], and I don't care what Bacharach and David say ... We'll never forget our Blake[2], and Blake used to work at Aviva Investors ... / So, is there a concern about his work ethic?[1], and here we are, confused again![2], and institutional portfolios don't keep you warm at night ...[1], and Blake used to work at Aviva Investors ... / So, is there a concern about his work ethic?[2], and / One night a stranger came and stole his love away ... David Aird? / But Blake has followed Simon, not Jenny[1], and institutional portfolios don't keep you warm at night ...[2], and it's very confusing ... a mix of reality and fantasy, just the way I hate it / I'm not well ...[1], and / One night a stranger came and stole his love away ... David Aird? / But Blake has followed Simon, not Jenny[2], and / Are they afraid he'll start to cry? ... / ...[1], and it's very confusing ... a mix of reality and fantasy, just the way I hate it / I'm not well ...[2], and I could fight it - ?[1], and / Are they afraid he'll start to cry? ... / ...[2], and Blake wasn't the man who shot Liberty Valance! / I've been known to go too far[1], and I could fight it - ?[2], and  ... it's my consciousness![1], and Blake wasn't the man who shot Liberty Valance! / I've been known to go too far[2], and the words keep coming ... / That's why they're whispering, walking alone, all alone ...[1], and  ... it's my consciousness![2], and has Blake had enough of living in Simon's shadow? / 'No!'[1], and the words keep coming ... / That's why they're whispering, walking alone, all alone ...[2], and ... / One word leads to another word, they spin a-ROUND, and ... they will never stop[1], and has Blake had enough of living in Simon's shadow? / 'No!'[2], and I ain't fresh as a daisy no more![1], and ... / One word leads to another word, they spin a-ROUND, and ... they will never stop[2], and this isn't the place for sense[3], and I ain't fresh as a daisy no more![2], and I don't care what Bacharach and David say ... We'll never forget our Blake[3], and here we are, confused again![3], and Blake used to work at Aviva Investors ... / So, is there a concern about his work ethic?[3], and institutional portfolios don't keep you warm at night ...[3], and / One night a stranger came and stole his love away ... David Aird? / But Blake has followed Simon, not Jenny[3], and it's very confusing ... a mix of reality and fantasy, just the way I hate it / I'm not well ...[3], and / Are they afraid he'll start to cry? ... / ...[3], and I could fight it - ?[3], and Blake wasn't the man who shot Liberty Valance! / I've been known to go too far[3], and  ... it's my consciousness![3], and the words keep coming ... / That's why they're whispering, walking alone, all alone ...[3], and has Blake had enough of living in Simon's shadow? / 'No!'[3], and ... / One word leads to another word, they spin a-ROUND, and ... they will never stop[3], and I ain't fresh as a daisy no more![3], and

And this isn't the place for sense[1], and I don't care what Bacharach and David say ... We'll never forget our Blake[1], and this isn't the place for sense[2], and here we are, confused again![1], and I don't care what Bacharach and David say ... We'll never forget our Blake[2], and Blake used to work at Aviva Investors ... / So, is there a concern about his work ethic?[1], and here we are, confused again![2], and institutional portfolios don't keep you warm at night ...[1], and Blake used to work at Aviva Investors ... / So, is there a concern about his work ethic?[2], and / One night a stranger came and stole his love away ... David Aird? / But Blake has followed Simon, not Jenny[1], and institutional portfolios don't keep you warm at night ...[2], and it's very confusing ... a mix of reality and fantasy, just the way I hate it / I'm not well ...[1], and / One night a stranger came and stole his love away ... David Aird? / But Blake has followed Simon, not Jenny[2], and / Are they afraid he'll start to cry? ... / ...[1], and it's very confusing ... a mix of reality and fantasy, just the way I hate it / I'm not well ...[2], and I could fight it - ?[1], and / Are they afraid he'll start to cry? ... / ...[2], and Blake wasn't the man who shot Liberty Valance! / I've been known to go too far[1], and I could fight it - ?[2], and  ... it's my consciousness![1], and Blake wasn't the man who shot Liberty Valance! / I've been known to go too far[2], and the words keep coming ... / That's why they're whispering, walking alone, all alone ...[1], and  ... it's my consciousness![2], and has Blake had enough of living in Simon's shadow? / 'No!'[1], and the words keep coming ... / That's why they're whispering, walking alone, all alone ...[2], and ... / One word leads to another word, they spin a-ROUND, and ... they will never stop[1], and has Blake had enough of living in Simon's shadow? / 'No!'[2], and I ain't fresh as a daisy no more![1], and ... / One word leads to another word, they spin a-ROUND, and ... they will never stop[2], and this isn't the place for sense[3], and I ain't fresh as a daisy no more![2], and I don't care what Bacharach and David say ... We'll never forget our Blake[3], and here we are, confused again![3], and Blake used to work at Aviva Investors ... / So, is there a concern about his work ethic?[3], and institutional portfolios don't keep you warm at night ...[3], and / One night a stranger came and stole his love away ... David Aird? / But Blake has followed Simon, not Jenny[3], and it's very confusing ... a mix of reality and fantasy, just the way I hate it / I'm not well ...[3], and / Are they afraid he'll start to cry? ... / ...[3], and I could fight it - ?[3], and Blake wasn't the man who shot Liberty Valance! / I've been known to go too far[3], and  ... it's my consciousness![3], and the words keep coming ... / That's why they're whispering, walking alone, all alone ...[3], and has Blake had enough of living in Simon's shadow? / 'No!'[3], and ... / One word leads to another word, they spin a-ROUND, and ... they will never stop[3], and I ain't fresh as a daisy no more![3], and

Who on earth is Blake Hutchins?!

Yes, yes ... / Who on earth is Blake Hutchins? 'Er ... / Wasn't he a superspy in the Sixties, Mikey?' No. 'What?! Not in the movies?' No. Shut up, you idiot! / ... / Well, my dear reader(s), I can tell you that Blake's "return" is 5.8 per cent. Whatever that means. (You'll have to ask Citywire if you don't know.) Slight ... or not? Voodoo? It doesn't matter. / Er ... Simon Brazier is a mate of his. 'Really?' Oh yeah, big time. They were working at Threadneedle together, but now they've done a runner to Investec Asset Management. 'How did that happen, boss?' Well ... Simon said he was leaving and then Blake got upset, incredibly upset. 'Oh dear.' So Simon said, Why don't you come with me, Blake? 'Ah!' And then Blake started jumping up and down like a little puppy, full of joy. (That's what I've heard, anyway. My spies are everywhere.) 'Amazing! That's loyalty for you!' Is it? 'No, it's love, man. True love.' I wouldn't like to say ...

Er ... uh. / David Aird at Investec is happy, for once. Which is strange because I thought he didn't like rock stars. 'Blake is a superspy, I tell you!' Shut up, Voice! For Christ's sake! / Mr Aird says, "Simon has an excellent UK equities track record. Superb! He's such a great man! Positioning him alongside Alastair Mundy and his, er, complementary value team provides our clients with a compelling choice of UK equity-centric funds that strengthens our market position and relevance." You see, he loves Simon. Everyone loves Simon! 'What did Mr Aird say about Blake?' Nothing. Nothing at all. 'Oh.' Maybe he's the forgotten man, our Blake. It's something I should look into ... after lunch, of course.

Yes, after lunch. No. 248. I don't want to get DIZZY on an empty stomach.

[No. 247] Fresh as a daisy

My mind is clean.

And ... / my soul is calm[1], and this is the way, if you can believe ...  / and I won't even mention finance![1], and ... / my soul is calm[2], and I'll try not to think too much ... that's where Lucky went wrong[1], and this is the way, if you can believe ...  / and I won't even mention finance![2], and / how are you?[1], and I'll try not to think too much ... that's where Lucky went wrong[2], and if you're confused, a little sick in the head, who you gonna call? / I'm here for ... YOU(!)[1], and / how are you?[2], and whisper my name three times / no one needs to know[1], and if you're confused, a little sick in the head, who you gonna call? / I'm here for ... YOU(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!!!) / It makes the world go away, while the fairies come out to play - 'Eh?'[1], and whisper my name three times / no one needs to know[2], and I can believe in anything, believe me[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!!!) / It makes the world go away, while the fairies come out to play - 'Eh?'[2], and I ain't got much choice[1], and I can believe in anything, believe me[2], and when you're surrounded by dirt and chaos, you'll latch on ... to ANYTHING![1], and I ain't got much choice[2], and beyond the THREE? / It doesn't bear thinking about ... enough trouble just getting DIZZY[1], and when you're surrounded by dirt and chaos, you'll latch on ... to ANYTHING![2], and DIZZY is ... good[1], and beyond the THREE? / It doesn't bear thinking about ... enough trouble just getting DIZZY[2], and I'm sure this is confusing for the SQUARES, but it all makes SENSE to us, don't it?[1], and DIZZY is ... good[2], and / Doesn't it, yeah?[1], and I'm sure this is confusing for the SQUARES, but it all makes SENSE to us, don't it?[2], and here we are, at home / oh, please say you love it, say you'll never leave, please![1], and / Doesn't it, yeah?[2], and there's something I need to know ... / I know my mind is clean, my soul is calm[1], and here we are, at home / oh, please say you love it, say you'll never leave, please![2], and have YOU(!) ever been ... fresh as a daisy?[1], and there's something I need to know ... / I know my mind is clean, my soul is calm[2], and ... / my soul is calm[3], and have YOU(!) ever been ... fresh as a daisy?[2], and this is the way, if you can believe ...  / and I won't even mention finance![3], and I'll try not to think too much ... that's where Lucky went wrong[3], and / how are you?[3], and if you're confused, a little sick in the head, who you gonna call? / I'm here for ... YOU(!)[3], and whisper my name three times / no one needs to know[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!!!) / It makes the world go away, while the fairies come out to play - 'Eh?'[3], and I can believe in anything, believe me[3], and I ain't got much choice[3], and when you're surrounded by dirt and chaos, you'll latch on ... to ANYTHING![3], and beyond the THREE? / It doesn't bear thinking about ... enough trouble just getting DIZZY[3], and DIZZY is ... good[3], and I'm sure this is confusing for the SQUARES, but it all makes SENSE to us, don't it?[3], and / Doesn't it, yeah?[3], and here we are, at home / oh, please say you love it, say you'll never leave, please![3], and there's something I need to know ... / I know my mind is clean, my soul is calm[3], and have YOU(!) ever been ... fresh as a daisy?[3], and

And ... / my soul is calm[1], and this is the way, if you can believe ...  / and I won't even mention finance![1], and ... / my soul is calm[2], and I'll try not to think too much ... that's where Lucky went wrong[1], and this is the way, if you can believe ...  / and I won't even mention finance![2], and / how are you?[1], and I'll try not to think too much ... that's where Lucky went wrong[2], and if you're confused, a little sick in the head, who you gonna call? / I'm here for ... YOU(!)[1], and / how are you?[2], and whisper my name three times / no one needs to know[1], and if you're confused, a little sick in the head, who you gonna call? / I'm here for ... YOU(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!!!) / It makes the world go away, while the fairies come out to play - 'Eh?'[1], and whisper my name three times / no one needs to know[2], and I can believe in anything, believe me[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!!!) / It makes the world go away, while the fairies come out to play - 'Eh?'[2], and I ain't got much choice[1], and I can believe in anything, believe me[2], and when you're surrounded by dirt and chaos, you'll latch on ... to ANYTHING![1], and I ain't got much choice[2], and beyond the THREE? / It doesn't bear thinking about ... enough trouble just getting DIZZY[1], and when you're surrounded by dirt and chaos, you'll latch on ... to ANYTHING![2], and DIZZY is ... good[1], and beyond the THREE? / It doesn't bear thinking about ... enough trouble just getting DIZZY[2], and I'm sure this is confusing for the SQUARES, but it all makes SENSE to us, don't it?[1], and DIZZY is ... good[2], and / Doesn't it, yeah?[1], and I'm sure this is confusing for the SQUARES, but it all makes SENSE to us, don't it?[2], and here we are, at home / oh, please say you love it, say you'll never leave, please![1], and / Doesn't it, yeah?[2], and there's something I need to know ... / I know my mind is clean, my soul is calm[1], and here we are, at home / oh, please say you love it, say you'll never leave, please![2], and have YOU(!) ever been ... fresh as a daisy?[1], and there's something I need to know ... / I know my mind is clean, my soul is calm[2], and ... / my soul is calm[3], and have YOU(!) ever been ... fresh as a daisy?[2], and this is the way, if you can believe ...  / and I won't even mention finance![3], and I'll try not to think too much ... that's where Lucky went wrong[3], and / how are you?[3], and if you're confused, a little sick in the head, who you gonna call? / I'm here for ... YOU(!)[3], and whisper my name three times / no one needs to know[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!!!) / It makes the world go away, while the fairies come out to play - 'Eh?'[3], and I can believe in anything, believe me[3], and I ain't got much choice[3], and when you're surrounded by dirt and chaos, you'll latch on ... to ANYTHING![3], and beyond the THREE? / It doesn't bear thinking about ... enough trouble just getting DIZZY[3], and DIZZY is ... good[3], and I'm sure this is confusing for the SQUARES, but it all makes SENSE to us, don't it?[3], and / Doesn't it, yeah?[3], and here we are, at home / oh, please say you love it, say you'll never leave, please![3], and there's something I need to know ... / I know my mind is clean, my soul is calm[3], and have YOU(!) ever been ... fresh as a daisy?[3], and

And ... / my soul is calm[1], and this is the way, if you can believe ...  / and I won't even mention finance![1], and ... / my soul is calm[2], and I'll try not to think too much ... that's where Lucky went wrong[1], and this is the way, if you can believe ...  / and I won't even mention finance![2], and / how are you?[1], and I'll try not to think too much ... that's where Lucky went wrong[2], and if you're confused, a little sick in the head, who you gonna call? / I'm here for ... YOU(!)[1], and / how are you?[2], and whisper my name three times / no one needs to know[1], and if you're confused, a little sick in the head, who you gonna call? / I'm here for ... YOU(!)[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!!!) / It makes the world go away, while the fairies come out to play - 'Eh?'[1], and whisper my name three times / no one needs to know[2], and I can believe in anything, believe me[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!!!) / It makes the world go away, while the fairies come out to play - 'Eh?'[2], and I ain't got much choice[1], and I can believe in anything, believe me[2], and when you're surrounded by dirt and chaos, you'll latch on ... to ANYTHING![1], and I ain't got much choice[2], and beyond the THREE? / It doesn't bear thinking about ... enough trouble just getting DIZZY[1], and when you're surrounded by dirt and chaos, you'll latch on ... to ANYTHING![2], and DIZZY is ... good[1], and beyond the THREE? / It doesn't bear thinking about ... enough trouble just getting DIZZY[2], and I'm sure this is confusing for the SQUARES, but it all makes SENSE to us, don't it?[1], and DIZZY is ... good[2], and / Doesn't it, yeah?[1], and I'm sure this is confusing for the SQUARES, but it all makes SENSE to us, don't it?[2], and here we are, at home / oh, please say you love it, say you'll never leave, please![1], and / Doesn't it, yeah?[2], and there's something I need to know ... / I know my mind is clean, my soul is calm[1], and here we are, at home / oh, please say you love it, say you'll never leave, please![2], and have YOU(!) ever been ... fresh as a daisy?[1], and there's something I need to know ... / I know my mind is clean, my soul is calm[2], and ... / my soul is calm[3], and have YOU(!) ever been ... fresh as a daisy?[2], and this is the way, if you can believe ...  / and I won't even mention finance![3], and I'll try not to think too much ... that's where Lucky went wrong[3], and / how are you?[3], and if you're confused, a little sick in the head, who you gonna call? / I'm here for ... YOU(!)[3], and whisper my name three times / no one needs to know[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND(!!!) / It makes the world go away, while the fairies come out to play - 'Eh?'[3], and I can believe in anything, believe me[3], and I ain't got much choice[3], and when you're surrounded by dirt and chaos, you'll latch on ... to ANYTHING![3], and beyond the THREE? / It doesn't bear thinking about ... enough trouble just getting DIZZY[3], and DIZZY is ... good[3], and I'm sure this is confusing for the SQUARES, but it all makes SENSE to us, don't it?[3], and / Doesn't it, yeah?[3], and here we are, at home / oh, please say you love it, say you'll never leave, please![3], and there's something I need to know ... / I know my mind is clean, my soul is calm[3], and have YOU(!) ever been ... fresh as a daisy?[3], and

Geoff Galbraith is a strange one

Er ... it makes no sense. / Geoff is going to be the new chief operating officer of Man Group. He was (or still is, was) the chief operating officer of ... GLG. 'Right.' But he used to work at Man Group as ... head of product and trading operations. 'Yeah.' I'm just so confused! 'Why? What's the big deal, boss? They're the same firm anyway, aren't they?' Er ... not really, Voice. GLG is where all the cool shamans and mystics are, and Man Group is where all the square robot computer-types are. 'Well, Man Group keeps poaching the GLG guys because it knows it's on the wrong side of history.' Yeah, but why can't Geoff make his mind up? Is he one of the cool guys, or one of the squares?

Words are like treacle ... / There's just a lot of confusion, in general, at Man Group/GLG. I mean, it's something I feel, you dig, dear reader(s), yeah? A sort of vibe, man. / I can't understand Manny Roman these days. What's he doing about all the confusion (in my head)? 'Nothing!' He's adding to the misery, that's what he's doing. This Simon White ... character retires, and all Manny can say is, We wish Simon well in his retirement. He was instrumental in providing Man Group with a robust platform from which to operate, and creating a highly competent and efficient operational and technology team. 'Ha!' Technology?! What?! Who gives a fuck about technology?! 'They've changed him.' Why did Manny even become chief executive of Man Group? 'Oh, more money, more power. These people are sick.' Christ. And whatever happened to Noam Gottesman? 'I don't know.' Maybe he saw sense, which is more than I'm seeing. 'They're the likely lads, Mikey, eh?' Maybe.

...

They're all on the wrong side of history now. These ... Man Group, GLG ... It doesn't matter. Any bank or hedge fund. 'It's a new era, son!' Rock and roll shamanism is where it's at. 'Let's rock!' Jim must be laughing his head off, in his grave, What took you so long? 'On the astral plane, man, surely?' My decision, obviously. 'What you say goes, Mikey. You're the boss, ... boss, boss.' Yes, I'm in control, Voice. / You know, I practiced the guitar for four and a half hours yesterday. 'Wow!' My fingers are on fire! 'Yeah?' Not literally. I'm talking ... moving faster, jumping around, ready for anything!

I need to get my head clear, clean, fresh as a daisy. Er ... No. 247 might help. After lunch, yeah, after the cheese sandwich, and yoghurt, and tea. No Coke today. I'm thinking about my teeth.

I'm confident No. 247 will get all the shit out of my mind. 'Or add to it, Mikey.' No, no, no ...

Mark Julio is working at Sarasin & Partners

Er ... / 'Never heard of him, boss.' What, Voice?! You've never heard of Mark "Iglesias" Julio? 'Oh, I've heard of him, but you said his name was Mark Julio.' Well, that's what they call him at work. I doubt they know about his evening activities, crooning in various bars and nightclubs. 'Would he get the sack if they found out?' Time will tell. I mean, the cat's out of the bag now, ain't it?

Anyway, our Mark has got himself a new job at Sarasin & Partners as manager of the global thematic equity team - for his sins. He used to be at Ignis - for ... you get the picture. It's all the womanising, you see. 'Terrible.' / Oh. 'What?' For those of you who don't know and may not even care, Sarasin & Partners is a London-based asset management group that manages investments on behalf of charities, institutions, intermediaries, pension funds, and private clients from the UK and, er, other places ... around the world, like. 'Very impressive!' Oh yes. It is very impressive. And Sarasin has a long-term vision, too. 'Brilliant!' These geezers think ten years ahead! 'Eh?! Ten years?! How do they do that, then?' Christ knows, mate. I'm the world's foremost financial shaman and I can't manage it. / Oh. 'What?' And chief executive Guy Monsoon reckons that they are - wait for it - stewards and guardians. As if! 'You mean, Guy Monson.' Whatever. Yeah, Guy Mon. 'No, boss, Guy Monson.' Oh, I get you. I thought you said, You mean, Guy Mon, son. 'Ha!' / We have a right laugh here, don't we, reader(s)?

Oh!!! 'What?' By the way, reader(s), don't bother going to Mark Julio's LinkedIn profile. 'No?' No, don't do that! There's nothing there - which is for the best, I suppose. ('Maybe you should sign in, Mikey.' Forget about it. I'll never sign in, Voice.) You know, the singing and that. All the women.

...

Anything else? No! Do me a favour. Two posts today. What more do you want? Blood? Fire?

Laters ...

What's this Blackstone Senfina Advisors thing?

Er ... / Well, it's a new hedge fund, an everlasting one, that Blackstone is setting up, and it's going to be filled with hedge fund superstars. Guys like David Briggs and Billal Sikander. 'Never heard of them, boss.' I've never heard of them either, Voice, but so what? I mean, what do we know? We're all rock and roll these days. 'Mikey, we've always been rock and roll - at heart.' Of course we have, man. We built this blog on rock and roll. 'God gave rock and roll to us!' Yes, He did. / However, er ... enough of that nonsense. It's only Monday morning, man. Let's concentrate on this ... Blackstone nonsense. 'Lay it on me, baby.' David Briggs used to work at Ziff Brothers (still does, if you believe LinkedIn). Billal Sikander used to work at Serengeti Asset Management (yeah, still does, if you believe LinkedIn). And there are loads of other guys. 'Like who?' Like, my little invisible friend ... Sasi Digavalli, Brian "Bugsy" Siegel, and Daniel Haff. 'Oh, right.' / Anyway, there's going to be loads of different trading teams at Senfina, and they're all going to be given $500 million - which I think is a nice touch. (I just hope that Blackstone has enough cash left over for our Jason.) 'That's a lot of money. / So, they're going to be in competition with each other, these teams?' Yeah. And the first prize is a Cadillac, man. 'Great!' The second prize is a set of steak knives. 'Oh.' And the third prize is ... there is no third prize. They get the sack. 'It's a dog-eat-dog world, boss.' Tell me about it! I'm just glad I'm not part of this world. Other-worldly, that's me.

Er ... / Well, I wish them all the best at Senfina. 'So do I!' Let's hope it is everlasting and not one of these hedge funds that are here today and gone tomorrow.

...

Er ... / Anything else, dear reader(s)? No, not really. I don't know what I'm having for lunch yet. I haven't been to the shop.

Er ... / Guitar? Yeah, I'm going to be playing my guitar today. That ain't news, man.


[There's no special reason why I've started every goddamn paragraph with "Er". Except this one.]