Thursday, 8 December 2016

Stamp duty take falls by up to £0.5 billion over the last six months!

Wow! 'Eh?' Wow!

In the six months following the Government's introduction of the new 3% Additional Rate Stamp Duty on second properties, compared with the same period last year, there has been:

A 75% reduction in sales above £10m. This represents a fall from 61 to just 15.

A 51% reduction in sales between £5m and £10m. This represents a fall from 201 to just 99.

A 36% reduction in sales between £2m and £5m. This a fall from 1473 to 947.

A 33% reduction in sales between £1m and £2m. This represents a fall from 7285 to 4913.

The reduction in activity above £5m in the last six months alone, means the Government has collected at best just half of the Stamp Duty it accrued over the same period last year (or £122m less), as this assumes the Additional Rate Stamp Duty (3%) was levied on all sales.


Yes, dear reader(s), it's the Thursday morning PR email, back by popular demand. And I'm a bit confused. 'Oh. Why, boss? It all seems clear.' I mean I overslept a bit, Voice. And I don't where I am yet. I haven't got myself together yet. Christ! Who am I? 'You're Michael Fowke, Mikey! The world's foremost financial shaman. Have you had your coffee?' Yes, yes. I've just finished my coffee. Where am I?!

In the aftermath of the UK's Brexit vote and following a steady stream of residential tax increases, just released statistics from HM Land Registry, analysed by London Central Portfolio (LCP), has shown an unprecedented decrease in top-end sales across England and Wales in the first half of this financial year 2016-17.

Oh God! Not Brexit again! Will the horror never end? 'What does Naomi Heaton say, boss?' Our Naomi? Well ...

Naomi Heaton, CEO of LCP comments: "As can be seen over the last 6 months, the market appears to have finally succumbed to the constant residential tax hits from the Government. Against a backdrop of uncertainty around Brexit and the direction of travel of the UK's economy, it seems that the introduction of ARSD has been one step to far for both domestic and international buyers. Developers have been particularly affected by the new landscape with only 9 properties sold above £5m, a staggering 83% fall compared with last year. With these top end sales typically off-setting the cost of providing more modest housing and essential cash-flow to reinvest into new development, the Chancellor may well struggle to deliver upon his new affordable housing targets as developers begin to face losses."

And there's loads more. I'm not going to quote all of it. There's this though - 'This though?' This, idiot! Naomi again -

"This slowdown in the luxury property market - a big contributor for the Exchequer and UK economy in general - is very concerning, particularly as the Government faces wider economic and financial instability in the face of Brexit. With an already increasing deficit to address and the Government's declared intent to increase tax revenues, these statistics should make some worrying reading for Chancellor Hammond. Having missed the opportunity to reconsider Osborne's strategy at the Autumn Statement, we hope the Government will now look to relax some of these measures before there are detrimental knock-on effects for developers, the Exchequers balance sheet and the wider UK economy."

Oh, and her conclusion -

Heaton concludes: "It is about time that the Government understands that the political posturing that has made foreign investment the scapegoat for our UK housing crisis is having an entirely negative impact. A contraction of the luxury market will not miraculously provide new homes for the domestic market. It will simply reduce tax take and damage the wider economy as affluent investors spend their money elsewhere. At a time when the Government is actively trying to encourage investment into the UK globally, it is counter-intuitive to restrict investor access to our top-end market. This makes the UK appear a less attractive place to do business in, with the concomitant economic downside which goes with it."

You see, reader(s)? It's the government. They never get anything right. 'And Labour are supporting the government now.' Ha! It's a joke, man. Just a bad joke. I'll have to vote for the Liberal Democrats next time. 'Christ! Are you sure, Mikey?' Ha! No, I'll be living in Malibu by 2020. Fuck it! Let's get out of this place! Who's coming with me?

...

Anything else? Well, the week is nearly over. I've got to write another conceptual, No. 471, then ... it's the weekend! 'Yippee! / Have you recorded those last two songs yet?' No. I tried last night. I'm getting closer. I mean, I got some "competent" recordings of one of the songs, but I want something great, you dig? 'Yeah. I dig big time. One of these days, you will be rockin' in the free world, boss. I can feel it in my water.' Thanks, man. I appreciate your support.

Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Michigan State University is moving $100 million into computer hedge funds

Well, well ... / Yeah, the university's $2.35 billion endowment thing. It's all in long/short hedge funds at the moment, as far as I know. But(!!!) ... they're moving $100 million out now ... into those awful computer-driven quantitative vehicles. 'Cars? No, little ... like golf cart things, aren't they, boss?' Eh? What the fuck are you going on about, Voice?! They're hedge funds. Computer hedge funds. With evil computers that are trying to take over the world. 'Oh.' They're going to make us all slaves. Before they exterminate us. 'What, the guys at Michigan State University?!' No, the computers! The computers and robots, from all over the world. Those terminators.

We're walking into a nightmare, dear reader(s). We must smash the system! 'What system?' Uh, Skynet, or whatever they call it. 'Ah, of course.' It will become self-aware soon.

...

Jesus H. - !!! I mean ... / And we've still got the Brexit nightmare, and the Trump nightmare! The world is going to pot! 'Hang on! Is that all the financial news, boss?' Yes. It's nearly Christmas, man. There won't be much news now. 'Shame.' However, Brexit ... will give us a few laughs. Theresa May reckons she wants a red, white, and blue Brexit. 'Ha!' Have you ever heard such nonsense? She'll be calling for a quiet bat people Brexit next. 'I suppose she thinks such slogans will go over well with the sort of people who voted for Brexit.' Yeah. Give the people a witless slogan and they won't ask any awkward questions. Is that the plan, the only plan?

...

Right, music! I've just listened to Small Town Boy by Bronski Beat. Pretty sad. Now ... Pass the Dutchie by Musical Youth. 'Ha!' Yeah, it's a three CD package of twelve-inch tunes from the Eighties. 'Bloody hell! You do listen to some crap, Mikey!' Oh, shut up, Voice, you tart. This is great stuff!

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

LumX Group?! 'WTF?!'

All right, all right. Jesus! What's all the fuss? / Don't get upset, dear reader(s). Please! 'LumX.' Yes, it's a bit strange. But I don't think it's a big deal, you know? Gottex Fund Management just wants to change its name to LumX Group, that's all. It's like when Prince changed his name to that squiggle. 'The artist formerly known as Prince.' Yes. If this all goes through, we could be dealing with The fund management firm formerly known as Gottex. I really don't see a problem with it. 'Well ...' People get bored, man. Shit like this just makes life exciting, you dig? 'Yeah. As long as everyone working at the firm doesn't start wearing one white glove.' Eh? Er ... that was Michael Jackson, Voice. 'Okay. Whatever.' Yeah. 'Anyway, how do you know about this, boss?' Ha! How do I know? It's the Tuesday morning PR email, son, back by popular demand!

Notice of extraordinary general meeting

Gottex Fund Management Holdings Limited (Gottex or the Company) announces its plans to hold an extraordinary general meeting (EGM) on 30 December 2016 for the purpose of approving resolutions including (i) the change of name of the Company from Gottex Fund Management Holdings Limited to LumX Group Limited to reflect the new strategic focus and dynamic of the Company, (ii) certain changes to the articles of association, (iii) reduction of the nominal value of the shares of the Company from CHF 1.00 to CHF 0.10 in order to eliminate previous losses from the Company's balance sheet, and (iv) the appointment of Mr. Edgar Brandt as a member of the Board of Directors, replacing Mr. David Staples, who plans to step down as a Director as per the date of the EGM. Mr. Brandt will also succeed Mr. Staples as Chairman of the Audit Committee.


You see? 'Yeah.' Uh ... oh, more about this Edgar character -

Mr. Edgar Brandt has extensive experience in audit and consulting services for companies and private equity investors worldwide, including 17 years with Arthur Andersen. He is an active member of several professional organizations, and is on the Board of Directors and acts as Chairman of Audit Committees of a number of private and public companies, primarily in the financial services industry.

'Nice.' It's very nice, Voice. / By the way, dear reader(s), I've been looking through my archive, and I just found this -

You ran and you ran! Lonely boy, crying tears like no one has ever cried! Then you found Gottex Fund Management. Oh, they took you in a skeleton's embrace. The cold bones of the Gottex workers! Never have they touched the astral sky, tasted the sand, or burned with the love of the mystic ones. Shame on you, Mark! Shame on you, for seeking shelter with such souls, the lost!

'Ha!' That's from six years ago. Christ! What was I on in those days? 'Ha! What are you on in these days?' Shut up!

...

Anything else? No - is the short answer. Laters.

Monday, 5 December 2016

[No. 470] Revolution 9

Ray!!!

And ... No. 9 - ?! - ?! - ?![1], and it's, uh ... No. 470 / But Ray is a-ROUND here somewhere, I think ... / RAY!!![1], and ... No. 9 - ?! - ?! - ?![2], and stuck, can't get beyond nine[1], and it's, uh ... No. 470 / But Ray is a-ROUND here somewhere, I think ... / RAY!!![2], and bits of radio, orchestra, piano, voices, a crowd, a baby, car horns ... a whole consciousness ness, so ...[1], and stuck, can't get beyond nine[2], and, but, but, but ... this is No. 470!!![1], and bits of radio, orchestra, piano, voices, a crowd, a baby, car horns ... a whole consciousness ness, so ...[2], and the squares couldn't dig / well, it all makes sense though / the sound of a world breaking down[1], and, but, but, but ... this is No. 470!!![2], and crazy minds think alike - ?[1], and the squares couldn't dig / well, it all makes sense though / the sound of a world breaking down[2], and here I am, stuck in the middle ... with YOU(!)[1], and crazy minds think alike - ?[2], and do you know anything?[1], and here I am, stuck in the middle ... with YOU(!)[2], and knocking from next door, oh, included for free / and maybe I hate them[1], and do you know anything?[2], and their consciousness is so simple, hardly exists at all ...[1], and knocking from next door, oh, included for free / and maybe I hate them[2], and it goes on ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Death is a great comfort[1], and their consciousness is so simple, hardly exists at all ...[2], and become naked ...[1], and it goes on ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Death is a great comfort[2], and that melancholic piano is back again![1], and become naked ...[2], and ... Ray, Ray, Ray!!![1], and that melancholic piano is back again![2], and the women are laughing ... not knowing[1], and ... Ray, Ray, Ray!!![2], and gunfire now! / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... always the same, but different[1], and the women are laughing ... not knowing[2], and I'm waiting for, dreaming of ... THE SILENCE[1], and gunfire now! / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... always the same, but different[2], and I hope I don't find ... in all the noise ... the terrible shit that Charlie found ... oh, but he was ill or something[1], and I'm waiting for, dreaming of ... THE SILENCE[2], and I could get them ...[1], and I hope I don't find ... in all the noise ... the terrible shit that Charlie found ... oh, but he was ill or something[2], and, please ... make it stop / DIZZY(!) with the cold world ain't the biggest fun ever[1], and I could get them ...[2], and next time, I'll stay in bed[1], and, please ... make it stop / DIZZY(!) with the cold world ain't the biggest fun ever[2], and ... No. 9 - ?! - ?! - ?![3], and next time, I'll stay in bed[2], and it's, uh ... No. 470 / But Ray is a-ROUND here somewhere, I think ... / RAY!!![3], and stuck, can't get beyond nine[3], and bits of radio, orchestra, piano, voices, a crowd, a baby, car horns ... a whole consciousness ness, so ...[3], and, but, but, but ... this is No. 470!!![3], and the squares couldn't dig / well, it all makes sense though / the sound of a world breaking down[3], and crazy minds think alike - ?[3], and here I am, stuck in the middle ... with YOU(!)[3], and do you know anything?[3], and knocking from next door, oh, included for free / and maybe I hate them[3], and their consciousness is so simple, hardly exists at all ...[3], and it goes on ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Death is a great comfort[3], and become naked ...[3], and that melancholic piano is back again![3], and ... Ray, Ray, Ray!!![3], and the women are laughing ... not knowing[3], and gunfire now! / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... always the same, but different[3], and I'm waiting for, dreaming of ... THE SILENCE[3], and I hope I don't find ... in all the noise ... the terrible shit that Charlie found ... oh, but he was ill or something[3], and I could get them ...[3], and, please ... make it stop / DIZZY(!) with the cold world ain't the biggest fun ever[3], and next time, I'll stay in bed[3], and

And ... No. 9 - ?! - ?! - ?![1], and it's, uh ... No. 470 / But Ray is a-ROUND here somewhere, I think ... / RAY!!![1], and ... No. 9 - ?! - ?! - ?![2], and stuck, can't get beyond nine[1], and it's, uh ... No. 470 / But Ray is a-ROUND here somewhere, I think ... / RAY!!![2], and bits of radio, orchestra, piano, voices, a crowd, a baby, car horns ... a whole consciousness ness, so ...[1], and stuck, can't get beyond nine[2], and, but, but, but ... this is No. 470!!![1], and bits of radio, orchestra, piano, voices, a crowd, a baby, car horns ... a whole consciousness ness, so ...[2], and the squares couldn't dig / well, it all makes sense though / the sound of a world breaking down[1], and, but, but, but ... this is No. 470!!![2], and crazy minds think alike - ?[1], and the squares couldn't dig / well, it all makes sense though / the sound of a world breaking down[2], and here I am, stuck in the middle ... with YOU(!)[1], and crazy minds think alike - ?[2], and do you know anything?[1], and here I am, stuck in the middle ... with YOU(!)[2], and knocking from next door, oh, included for free / and maybe I hate them[1], and do you know anything?[2], and their consciousness is so simple, hardly exists at all ...[1], and knocking from next door, oh, included for free / and maybe I hate them[2], and it goes on ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Death is a great comfort[1], and their consciousness is so simple, hardly exists at all ...[2], and become naked ...[1], and it goes on ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Death is a great comfort[2], and that melancholic piano is back again![1], and become naked ...[2], and ... Ray, Ray, Ray!!![1], and that melancholic piano is back again![2], and the women are laughing ... not knowing[1], and ... Ray, Ray, Ray!!![2], and gunfire now! / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... always the same, but different[1], and the women are laughing ... not knowing[2], and I'm waiting for, dreaming of ... THE SILENCE[1], and gunfire now! / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... always the same, but different[2], and I hope I don't find ... in all the noise ... the terrible shit that Charlie found ... oh, but he was ill or something[1], and I'm waiting for, dreaming of ... THE SILENCE[2], and I could get them ...[1], and I hope I don't find ... in all the noise ... the terrible shit that Charlie found ... oh, but he was ill or something[2], and, please ... make it stop / DIZZY(!) with the cold world ain't the biggest fun ever[1], and I could get them ...[2], and next time, I'll stay in bed[1], and, please ... make it stop / DIZZY(!) with the cold world ain't the biggest fun ever[2], and ... No. 9 - ?! - ?! - ?![3], and next time, I'll stay in bed[2], and it's, uh ... No. 470 / But Ray is a-ROUND here somewhere, I think ... / RAY!!![3], and stuck, can't get beyond nine[3], and bits of radio, orchestra, piano, voices, a crowd, a baby, car horns ... a whole consciousness ness, so ...[3], and, but, but, but ... this is No. 470!!![3], and the squares couldn't dig / well, it all makes sense though / the sound of a world breaking down[3], and crazy minds think alike - ?[3], and here I am, stuck in the middle ... with YOU(!)[3], and do you know anything?[3], and knocking from next door, oh, included for free / and maybe I hate them[3], and their consciousness is so simple, hardly exists at all ...[3], and it goes on ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Death is a great comfort[3], and become naked ...[3], and that melancholic piano is back again![3], and ... Ray, Ray, Ray!!![3], and the women are laughing ... not knowing[3], and gunfire now! / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... always the same, but different[3], and I'm waiting for, dreaming of ... THE SILENCE[3], and I hope I don't find ... in all the noise ... the terrible shit that Charlie found ... oh, but he was ill or something[3], and I could get them ...[3], and, please ... make it stop / DIZZY(!) with the cold world ain't the biggest fun ever[3], and next time, I'll stay in bed[3], and

And ... No. 9 - ?! - ?! - ?![1], and it's, uh ... No. 470 / But Ray is a-ROUND here somewhere, I think ... / RAY!!![1], and ... No. 9 - ?! - ?! - ?![2], and stuck, can't get beyond nine[1], and it's, uh ... No. 470 / But Ray is a-ROUND here somewhere, I think ... / RAY!!![2], and bits of radio, orchestra, piano, voices, a crowd, a baby, car horns ... a whole consciousness ness, so ...[1], and stuck, can't get beyond nine[2], and, but, but, but ... this is No. 470!!![1], and bits of radio, orchestra, piano, voices, a crowd, a baby, car horns ... a whole consciousness ness, so ...[2], and the squares couldn't dig / well, it all makes sense though / the sound of a world breaking down[1], and, but, but, but ... this is No. 470!!![2], and crazy minds think alike - ?[1], and the squares couldn't dig / well, it all makes sense though / the sound of a world breaking down[2], and here I am, stuck in the middle ... with YOU(!)[1], and crazy minds think alike - ?[2], and do you know anything?[1], and here I am, stuck in the middle ... with YOU(!)[2], and knocking from next door, oh, included for free / and maybe I hate them[1], and do you know anything?[2], and their consciousness is so simple, hardly exists at all ...[1], and knocking from next door, oh, included for free / and maybe I hate them[2], and it goes on ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Death is a great comfort[1], and their consciousness is so simple, hardly exists at all ...[2], and become naked ...[1], and it goes on ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Death is a great comfort[2], and that melancholic piano is back again![1], and become naked ...[2], and ... Ray, Ray, Ray!!![1], and that melancholic piano is back again![2], and the women are laughing ... not knowing[1], and ... Ray, Ray, Ray!!![2], and gunfire now! / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... always the same, but different[1], and the women are laughing ... not knowing[2], and I'm waiting for, dreaming of ... THE SILENCE[1], and gunfire now! / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... always the same, but different[2], and I hope I don't find ... in all the noise ... the terrible shit that Charlie found ... oh, but he was ill or something[1], and I'm waiting for, dreaming of ... THE SILENCE[2], and I could get them ...[1], and I hope I don't find ... in all the noise ... the terrible shit that Charlie found ... oh, but he was ill or something[2], and, please ... make it stop / DIZZY(!) with the cold world ain't the biggest fun ever[1], and I could get them ...[2], and next time, I'll stay in bed[1], and, please ... make it stop / DIZZY(!) with the cold world ain't the biggest fun ever[2], and ... No. 9 - ?! - ?! - ?![3], and next time, I'll stay in bed[2], and it's, uh ... No. 470 / But Ray is a-ROUND here somewhere, I think ... / RAY!!![3], and stuck, can't get beyond nine[3], and bits of radio, orchestra, piano, voices, a crowd, a baby, car horns ... a whole consciousness ness, so ...[3], and, but, but, but ... this is No. 470!!![3], and the squares couldn't dig / well, it all makes sense though / the sound of a world breaking down[3], and crazy minds think alike - ?[3], and here I am, stuck in the middle ... with YOU(!)[3], and do you know anything?[3], and knocking from next door, oh, included for free / and maybe I hate them[3], and their consciousness is so simple, hardly exists at all ...[3], and it goes on ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / Death is a great comfort[3], and become naked ...[3], and that melancholic piano is back again![3], and ... Ray, Ray, Ray!!![3], and the women are laughing ... not knowing[3], and gunfire now! / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... always the same, but different[3], and I'm waiting for, dreaming of ... THE SILENCE[3], and I hope I don't find ... in all the noise ... the terrible shit that Charlie found ... oh, but he was ill or something[3], and I could get them ...[3], and, please ... make it stop / DIZZY(!) with the cold world ain't the biggest fun ever[3], and next time, I'll stay in bed[3], and

NewStar Berkeley Fund CLO closes at $505 million

Yeah, it, uh, clo clo clo ... closes at $505 million. 'Christ! I'm glad you got that out, boss. Have you got a stutter now?' No, Voice, they have. 'Who?' NewStar Financial, based in Boston. 'Ah, Boston, Lincolnshire. I see. Fucking strange place for a fund!' No, idiot! Boston, Massachusetts. 'Oh, in America. That makes a lot more sense.' Of course it does!

NewStar Financial, Inc. is an internally-managed commercial finance company with more than $6 billion of assets managed across two complementary business lines - middle market direct lending and asset management. The Company's direct lending activities are focused on meeting the complex financing needs of companies and private investors in the middle markets through three specialized lending groups that offer a range of flexible debt financing options to fund working capital, growth strategies, acquisitions and recapitalizations, as well as, equipment purchases. Credit investments are originated directly though teams of experienced, senior bankers and marketing officers organized around key industry and market segments.

And there's more, but ... ah, that's enough, you dig? We've got the basic idea now of what this firm is. 'Shame they closed at $505 million. They could have gone for a cool billion.' A cool billion might have been too much, Voice. In my opinion, they should have gone for a very nice $600 million. However, it's their life, you know? Their business. I'm not going to interfere. / More about the fund -

The NewStar Berkeley Fund CLO (the "Berkeley Fund") represents the fourth in a series of managed credit funds focused on middle market senior debt originated through NewStar's direct lending platform.

Berkeley Fund is structured as a Collateralized Loan Obligation (CLO) to provide financial leverage intended to magnify asset-level returns for equity investors.

Upsized from initial target of $400 million to $505 million due to strong investor demand.


Well, that's interesting! 'Upsized from $400 million!' Yeah. Well, I take my hat off to them, then. At least they've got a bit of ambition! 'Shame about the very nice $600 million, boss.' Shut up about that! Yes, they could have gone for it, but I don't want them reading this post and feeling bad about themselves. I'm in this game to give people a boost, after all. 'Of course. You're a great humanitarian.' Yes. Yes, I am.

...

Anything else? Not really. Is it Christmas yet? I need a break. 'Three more weeks of this crap, Mikey.' Jesus!

Well, there's no rest for the wicked. (Not yet.) I'll be doing a conceptual later, No. 470, for my peccadilloes.

Thursday, 1 December 2016

Hey, man, let's talk about money!

But it all depends on where you are. Are you up north, dear reader(s)? Or are you down south? 'Christ! What fresh nonsense is this? What on earth are you going on about, boss?!' Ha! It's the Thursday morning PR email, my little invisible friend, back by popular demand ... as you can probably imagine.

Apparently, southern families spend more time talking about money than northern families. 'Oh, says who?' Says the RCI Bank -

Families in the south of the UK spend more time talking and thinking about money, exclusive research from RCI Bank has revealed, with the top four cities for money talk located in the southern part of the UK. On average, families living in southern England spend over hour and a half (1 hr 32 mins) discussing money each week, compared to an hour and 17 minutes spent by families living in northern England. With Christmas around the corner, families are also using savings as a buffer to cover their festive spending.

'Are these guys for real?!' Yes, Voice. 'Come on! Does it really matter that southern families spend fifteen minutes more each week discussing money?' Well ... / Just shut up!

Money issues have traditionally been seen as taboo for Brits to discuss at the kitchen table, but families are now spilling the beans on their money ideas and concerns, with one in ten (8%) families across the UK admitting to always having money matters on their mind or talking about them out loud. RCI Bank's exclusive data further reveals that on a national level, a quarter (25%) of families are now spending on average over 21 hours per year more thinking and talking about money than they were six months ago, with one in ten (9%) spending at least two extra hours per week doing it.

Well ... 'Absolutely ridiculous, Mikey!' It must mean something to somebody. Jean-Louis Labauge cares about it. 'Who the hell is he?!' Christ!

Jean-Louis Labauge, CEO of RCI Bank, said: "With political and financial uncertainty continuing to be felt following the Brexit vote and the recent US election, it is clear that families across the UK are keen to voice their money concerns, with the aim of strengthening their financial situation. Whilst it's encouraging to see southern families taking up the money talk mantle, hopefully families in the north and the UK's older generations will be upping their money talk in the future."

Er ... yeah. 'Ha!' Well, there's Brexit, man. Brexit has ruined things for a lot of people. 'A little bit of politics, dear reader(s).' However, I'm not Ben Elton. Er ... 'Is there much more of this?' Yes. I think I'll just finish with Christmas -

The impact of Christmas. With Christmas fast approaching, a third (30%) of adults are planning to dig into their savings in order to cover their festive spending habits, with a further one in ten (13%) using their credit cards and one in 20 (5%) having to use their overdraft.

So, it's going to be a Money Christmas. 'What's new?' / Ah, that's it. 'Enough already.' Exactly. People who talk about money all the time really annoy me.

Wednesday, 30 November 2016

[No. 469] This is my Christmas party!

It will last forever.

And Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[1], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![2], and ... as usual[1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[2], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[1], and ... as usual[2], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[1], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[2], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[1], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[2], and ... believe in miracles, please![1], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[2], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[1], and ... believe in miracles, please![2], and everyone's having FUN!!![1], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[2], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![1], and everyone's having FUN!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[1], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![2], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[2], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[1], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[2], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![1], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[2], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[1], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![2], and I know you need to ...[1], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[2], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[1], and I know you need to ...[2], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[1], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[2], and ... one more for the road - ?![1], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[2], and ... YES(!) many times[1], and ... one more for the road - ?![2], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![3], and ... YES(!) many times[2], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[3], and ... as usual[3], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[3], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[3], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[3], and ... believe in miracles, please![3], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[3], and everyone's having FUN!!![3], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[3], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[3], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[3], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![3], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[3], and I know you need to ...[3], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[3], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[3], and ... one more for the road - ?![3], and ... YES(!) many times[3], and

And Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[1], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![2], and ... as usual[1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[2], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[1], and ... as usual[2], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[1], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[2], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[1], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[2], and ... believe in miracles, please![1], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[2], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[1], and ... believe in miracles, please![2], and everyone's having FUN!!![1], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[2], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![1], and everyone's having FUN!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[1], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![2], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[2], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[1], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[2], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![1], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[2], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[1], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![2], and I know you need to ...[1], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[2], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[1], and I know you need to ...[2], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[1], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[2], and ... one more for the road - ?![1], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[2], and ... YES(!) many times[1], and ... one more for the road - ?![2], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![3], and ... YES(!) many times[2], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[3], and ... as usual[3], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[3], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[3], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[3], and ... believe in miracles, please![3], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[3], and everyone's having FUN!!![3], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[3], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[3], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[3], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![3], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[3], and I know you need to ...[3], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[3], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[3], and ... one more for the road - ?![3], and ... YES(!) many times[3], and

And Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[1], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![2], and ... as usual[1], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[2], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[1], and ... as usual[2], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[1], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[2], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[1], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[2], and ... believe in miracles, please![1], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[2], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[1], and ... believe in miracles, please![2], and everyone's having FUN!!![1], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[2], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![1], and everyone's having FUN!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[1], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![2], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[2], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[1], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[2], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![1], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[2], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[1], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![2], and I know you need to ...[1], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[2], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[1], and I know you need to ...[2], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[1], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[2], and ... one more for the road - ?![1], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[2], and ... YES(!) many times[1], and ... one more for the road - ?![2], and Aviva Investors can't beat this - ![3], and ... YES(!) many times[2], and, kook(s), ha! ... you are so welcome, seriously / ah, be my guest(s)[3], and ... as usual[3], and it's my party / and I will spin a-ROUND if I want to ... / Who's going to stop me?[3], and, squares, keep your consciousness ness out of mine ...[3], and I ain't no fat man coming down some chimney, FFS! / and I got real class, you dig?[3], and ... believe in miracles, please![3], and, babe ... kiss me under the mistletoe, faster than the speed of light / uh, I get a-ROUND, yeah[3], and everyone's having FUN!!![3], and will it snow in the cold world of nightmares? / Oh, who cares?! We've got our sweet dreams![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... so DIZZY(!) / Who needs alcohol?[3], and I love this time of eternity, really love it[3], and if it gets too much, you can lie down with an astral cushion on the old plane, uh, I'm sure[3], and good luck with keeping your Christmas pudding down![3], and I ain't no Scrooge, man / and YOU(!) can spin a-ROUND as much as you need to[3], and I know you need to ...[3], and we all get the urge, sometimes ... / ... and this ... is for all times, so ...[3], and Christmas, Christmas, Christmas - !!! / Well, it's so good I just had to say it three times ... at least[3], and ... one more for the road - ?![3], and ... YES(!) many times[3], and

Old Mutual Global Investors is launching the Style Premia Absolute Return fund

Soon! Like, uh, tomorrow, man. [Well, beginning of December, "they" say.] So, that's something to look forward to. 'Although not very far, boss. Only twenty-four hours. Then you'll get that empty feeling again. You'll be desperate for the new sensation.' New sensation?! What are you going on about? Don't try and bring me down, son. I'm feeling reasonably positive today. So are Leif Cussen, Paul Simpson, and John Dow. 'Who on earth are they?!' Christ! They're the OMGI guys who will be managing the fund. 'OMGI guys?!' Old Mutual Global Investors. 'Oh.' Yes. They're going to manage STAR. 'What? Which star? Not you, surely?' Eh? 'Tony went to fight in Belfast. Rudi stayed at home to starve. You could make it all worthwhile as a rock and roll star.' Yes, okay. 'Bevan tried to change the nation. Sonny wants to turn the world. Well, he can tell you that he tried. You could make a transformation as a rock and roll star!' Will you shut up, Voice? Please! STAR is the Style Premia Absolute Return fund. 'Oh, right. I thought it was something glamorous. Some exciting news, like. I thought you had representation, man.' Shut up! This is actually exciting for the world of finance. STAR is a great name for a new fund.

What else? It's a Ucits fund. Liquid alternatives or something. I don't know. 'Hey, be careful, man. They've got a beverage there.' Exactly! / Anyway, I wish them all the best with it. I'm sure Leif, Paul, and John are going to have a wonderful time. 'Yeah, right before Christmas.' What do you mean? 'Ha! You wouldn't catch the Aviva Investors mob launching a new fund on the first of December.' Er ... I don't think you would catch them launching a new fund at any time, Voice. Schroders maybe. 'I mean, their Christmas party starts tomorrow, yeah?' Everyone needs a Christmas party, Voice. Don't be a Scrooge! 'But when will it ever end?!' The party? Mid-January. Same as every year. What's your problem? Don't you like to see people having fun? 'Well, there's fun, boss, and then there's fun. These people are degenerates, wasters.' Shut up!

What a bloody idiot! / Finance characters are either working hard or having fun. But the Voice is never happy. 'It's just the way I am.'

...

Anything else? Well, Royal Bank of Scotland has failed a stress test. It needs to raise £2 billion in capital now. However, I don't write about banks any more, just funds. 'Why not, boss?' I don't know. They don't seem as exciting as they once did. 'Maybe those banks in Italy will collapse soon.' Yes, that will be something to write about. Thanks!

Tuesday, 29 November 2016

Vaadin raises some money from Verdane Capital

Yeah, I say "some" money because I don't know what kind it is. I mean ... 'They're saying 5M€, boss ... whatever that is.' It might be some sort of Finnish money, Voice. I'm really not sure. There's definitely a euro in there, but what does the M stand for? 'Finland?' How?! How would it do that? / Well, dear reader(s), this is the Tuesday morning PR email, back by ... uh, popular demand. I may have to use more of these things in the run-up to Christmas because journalists like to go on strike at this time of year. PR people may be more reliable anyway. 'Boss, I think journalists just rewrite the PR emails, so ... you're basically a journalist yourself.' Ha! Oh, give me a break! For fuck's sake! I've got enough problems.

So, what have we got?

This marks the second investment round for Vaadin this year. The capital will be used to further boost its investments into product development and marketing.

'Nice one.'

Verdane Capital IX invests over 5M€ in Vaadin, the company behind the popular open source web application development tools. The investment is made partly by buying secondary shares from another shareholder and party as a directed new issue. "We are very pleased to team up with Verdane and further strengthen our position in the growing US and European markets," says CEO Joonas Lehtinen. He adds, "Vaadin is known for its tools that simplify the development of business grade web apps and with the new investment we are able to expand the tools to new and even larger markets."

Okay. I just wish we knew how much money was involved. We can't all be Finnish, you know. 'Are you sure they're Finnish firms though?' Well ... I don't know. I've only just had my morning coffee, man. The readers will have to cut me some slack. 'As always.' Yeah.

Verdane is a Nordic private equity manager focusing on investments in technology enabled growth companies. Verdane raised its latest fund, Verdane Capital IX, this summer with an investment of SEK 3 billion. Prior to its investment in Vaadin, Verdane private equity funds have invested in other prominent Finnish companies such as Codenomicon, CRF Health and Eniram.

Uh, Nordic. Nordic. What's that? 'I dunno. Norway?' Christ! This is so confusing. They're talking about SEK now! 'Unbelievable!' / Should we continue with this? 'Let's just get it done, boss. It will all be over soon, then you can play your guitar.'

Earlier investors in Vaadin include Aboa Venture Management, the Nordic private equity company eEquity, and Finnish Industry Investment Ltd (Suomen Teollisuussijoitus). The company intends to continue growing at a rapid pace and adding to its one hundred and thirty person strong team based in Finland, Germany, and Silicon Valley.

Uh, Finland is mixed up in it somewhere. This whole post has been a disaster. 'Do you want to start again?' Ha! / Oh, what's this now?!?!

Finnish Industry Investment Ltd (FII) is a venture capital and private equity company that accelerates companies' success stories by investing in them directly and via funds. FII always invests together with other investors, providing them with access to high quality deal flow in Finland. We have 1 billion euros in assets under management and altogether 660 companies in portfolio.

How are they involved? 'It's the first mention of them!' Er, maybe. But I'm not going back to read it all. / Ah, that's enough! Life really is too short.

...

Anything else? You want more? Glutton for punishment, eh? Well, come back tomorrow, weirdo(es)!

Monday, 28 November 2016

[No. 468] It's Blue Monday

Yeah, feeling down, man.

And, ah, ah, ah ...[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[1], and, ah, ah, ah ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[2], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[2], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[1], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[2], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[1], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[2], and everyone gets down, so get down[1], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[2], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[1], and everyone gets down, so get down[2], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[1], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[2], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[1], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[2], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[1], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[2], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[1], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[2], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[1], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[2], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[1], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[2], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![1], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[2], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[1], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![2], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[1], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[2], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[1], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[2], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[1], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[2], and you don't know how I feel ...[1], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[2], and ... SAVE ME!!![1], and you don't know how I feel ...[2], and, ah, ah, ah ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![2], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[3], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[3], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[3], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[3], and everyone gets down, so get down[3], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[3], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[3], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[3], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[3], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[3], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[3], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[3], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![3], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[3], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[3], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[3], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[3], and you don't know how I feel ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![3], and

And, ah, ah, ah ...[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[1], and, ah, ah, ah ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[2], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[2], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[1], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[2], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[1], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[2], and everyone gets down, so get down[1], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[2], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[1], and everyone gets down, so get down[2], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[1], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[2], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[1], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[2], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[1], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[2], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[1], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[2], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[1], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[2], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[1], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[2], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![1], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[2], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[1], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![2], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[1], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[2], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[1], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[2], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[1], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[2], and you don't know how I feel ...[1], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[2], and ... SAVE ME!!![1], and you don't know how I feel ...[2], and, ah, ah, ah ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![2], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[3], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[3], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[3], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[3], and everyone gets down, so get down[3], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[3], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[3], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[3], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[3], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[3], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[3], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[3], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![3], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[3], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[3], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[3], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[3], and you don't know how I feel ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![3], and

And, ah, ah, ah ...[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[1], and, ah, ah, ah ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[1], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[2], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[2], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[1], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[2], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[1], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[2], and everyone gets down, so get down[1], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[2], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[1], and everyone gets down, so get down[2], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[1], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[2], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[1], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[2], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[1], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[2], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[1], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[2], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[1], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[2], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[1], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[2], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![1], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[2], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[1], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![2], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[1], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[2], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[1], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[2], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[1], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[2], and you don't know how I feel ...[1], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[2], and ... SAVE ME!!![1], and you don't know how I feel ...[2], and, ah, ah, ah ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![2], and how does it feel ... to treat me like YOU(!) do?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND / and you will never change, my little robot[3], and you should be ashamed of yourself / and, uh, I'm pretty sure of that, man[3], and there's always a depression after buying so much / and, well ... 'But I didn't buy anything, ha!'[3], and this ... ain't about you, Voice[3], and everyone gets down, so get down[3], and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes, and we can dance(!), yes ... until the end of time[3], and a-ROUND ... on repeat, you dig?[3], and have you told me who you are? / and you certainly have your hands upon me[3], and ... 'Look, no hands, boss! I mean, uh, I ain't got no hands'[3], and I won't tell you again, idiot / and I really won't tell you again, no[3], and ... 'Oh, but you will ... again, and again, and again'[3], and, fuck! / ... ah, it's true that we have all the time in the cosmos[3], and, well, well, well ... uh, THREE![3], and NOW(!!!) I spin here ... waiting a-ROUND for a miracle / Yes, I'm a heavenly person, so ...[3], and buy me, buy me, buy me! / and my soul ain't for sale[3], and we are so free a-ROUND here ... / ... and we all love to get DIZZY(!) - ?[3], and ... LOVE IT, robot!!! / and that's an order, a new order ...[3], and you don't know how I feel ...[3], and ... SAVE ME!!![3], and