Thursday, 22 January 2009

Philip Richards: he ain't no chief investment officer no more, man

I bet you're wondering, aren't you? I bet you're wondering what's going on with Philip Richards at RAB Capital. Four months ago he stepped down as chief executive of the firm, and yesterday he decided he don't wanna be no chief investment officer no more, man. It was his decision. And he's staying with RAB. So what's going on?

I have been speaking to a friend of mine at RAB Capital - I can't name him - and he told me, 'Mikey, you won't believe this. Phil has got religion. He's got it bad. I mean, mystical capitalism. He ain't no Jesus freak, so don't worry. He's a Big Herb freak. And it's so bad, he can't concentrate on his work. The desert is all he thinks about. He wants to burn in the desert. He wants to love in the desert. He wants to fall on his knees in the desert while the ghosts of the dead financiers dance all around him. Charles Kirwan-Taylor is the new CIO. But get this: Phil has been reading your blog - that's what did his head in, and now Charlie boy is reading it, and everyone is worried, man. Everyone thinks Charles will go the same way. The desert way. The way of money in the desert. The way of the shaman. Your way, Mikey. People are saying it's your way or the highway. And they don't like it, man.'

Fucking hell. Everyone at RAB Capital should just chill out. Philip Richards is doing the right thing. And if he's reading my blog, Charles Kirwan-Taylor is doing the right thing. My way is the way of the future. And you are either with me or against me. Pick a side! The revolution is coming, my children. IT IS COMING!