Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Wadhwani Asset Management cuts fees for early withdrawals

Sushil Wadhwani has cut fees for early withdrawals from his hedge fund, and I take my hat off to him.

He knows, you see. He knows that you must release money, let be free, let it fly high in the friendly sky, and it will come back to you - one day - with interest.

This reminds me of my time in the desert. I'm talking about my golden youth, my eight years in the desert when I was but a child. Well, I wasn't a child, I was in my twenties, but you understand what I'm saying, don't you? I was not the world's foremost financial shaman that you know and love today. I was just starting out in life, learning the ropes, learning how to burn with money in the desert like the masters of old. Anyway, in those days I used to physically burn the money and inhale the fumes. On one occasion I burnt a twenty-pound note. I inhaled. I inhaled some more. And then I was taken to ANOTHER WORLD! Don't ask me where. Don't ask me how. I know for sure it wasn't the astral plane. It was another world. In this world, there was money everywhere. More money than you or I have ever seen. I mean, you couldn't move without knocking over a pile of cash. There was no sky, no ground, only money. Obviously, I filled my pockets. While I was doing so, an old man approached me. He whispered in my ear: 'Michael, I see your light shining. Burn for me, baby. There was a way that will come again.' The next thing I knew I was back in the desert, my pockets stuffed with cash (about £20,000), and I had one hell of a headache.

What's the moral of this story? Who was that old man? Was I stoned out of my fucking gourd? Dear reader, I'll let you decide. But just think about that £20, the £20,000, and then think about Mr Wadhwani. That man's no fool.