Wednesday 14 January 2009

Sir Nigel Rudd resigns from the Barclays board after a bust-up with John Varley

You read it here first. Some people are talking about some toxic assets shit. Don't believe a word of it.

What happened was, Nigel Rudd and John Varley were trying to take a leaf out of Bob Diamond's book, but it all went catastrophically wrong.

I have been speaking to Keith Busby, who witnessed the incident with his own eyes (not someone else's, obviously; although you never know with Keith). This is what he told me: 'These guys are amateurs. Can you believe Nigel and John went on to the astral plane without any training? Bob must be pissing himself with laughter. They made the classic mistake of venturing on to the lower levels where all the demons hang out. They were more or less ripped to shreds down there - in a mystical way, I mean. When they came back, their auras were in a right state. Chakras, a total mess. And then the recriminations started. John blaming Nigel. Nigel blaming John. What a comedy!'

Dear oh dear.