Wednesday, 15 April 2009

David Viniar: cash, liquid assets, burning forever!

O David, I've been told Goldman Sachs has $164 billion in cash and liquid assets. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! But what will you do with all this money?

O Master, buy distressed securities and loans!

No, no, no, David. You have to be more adventurous than that. O my child, I see a burning for you!

O Master, where?

In the desert of our dreams. O David, can you feel it?

Feel what?

The fire. That $164 billion will go a long way in the desert. You do not want to waste it on distressed securities and loans. Walk into the fire! Burn with me and all the other mystical children in the desert. And bring the money. Hark! Can you hear them?

O Master, I hear them!

You hear the ghosts?

Yes, Master, I can hear the ghosts of the dead financiers calling me. They want me to join them in the desert. And they want the money.

Yes, my child, they want the money.

Yes, Master, they want the money. And they shall have it! Cash! Liquid assets! What do I care? Let them have it. I want to burn with them!

O my child, you shall burn, forever!