Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Jupiter is launching a Ucits III fund (investing in global emerging markets) for the benefit of Kathryn Langridge

Now, I'm sure Kathryn Langridge is a lovely lady, but why does she deserve this? Why isn't Jupiter launching a fund for my benefit? I could be a fund manager. There's nothing to it.

Yes, I could manage a fund. But I wouldn't manage it the conventional way. I wouldn't mess around meeting management teams or studying charts or any shit like that. I don't know what they do, exactly, fund managers, but I would be different. Whatever they do, I wouldn't do. I would go into a peyote trance. That's something I would do. Like Jim Morrison! Of course, Jimmy was never given the chance to run his own fund. It was probably the leather trousers that put people off. Why are there so many squares in the fund management business? Just because you wear leather trousers it doesn't mean you can't monitor risk by keeping a portfolio diversified across markets, sectors and capitalization.

You have to see the blood. You have to feel the drums in your head. You have to touch the sky. You need to go down, on the desert sands, and writhe with snakes. You need to make Death your friend. He is waiting for you, for all of us. You need to forget the people who pretend that they have knowledge. This is important. We all know who they are. The miserable ones. THEY HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE. They are deluded. They live in darkness. Fuck them. They cannot tell us anything. They add no value whatsoever. I feel love. Big Herb is here. Ganesh the elephant god is here. Have you ever loved an elephant the way I have loved one? I know THEY haven't. But they haven't lived. Touch the trunk! And people say: 'Ganesh shouldn't be in the desert. He ain't no Red Indian god. You're all confused, man'. Fools! This is my subconscious we're talking about, my astral desert. I make the rules. It's my way or the highway, you understand? There's a killer on the road. Charlie is here. He's inside all of us. But we will not give in to him. Jack is here. Look at him! Hiding in the shadows, getting ready to pounce. Well, let him pounce! WE ARE NOT AFRAID. I love you. Could I grow to love Kathryn Langridge? Anything is possible. It all depends. Would she be willing to let go? Could she drift away from Jupiter into a world of dreams, and nightmares? But there are shamans at Jupiter. Let's be fair. They could show her the way. Jupiter ain't that bad, really, compared to some of the others. But would Jupiter allow Kathryn to wear leather trousers? That's the question. Not that I'm interested. If it were Gillian Tett in leather trousers, then we would be talking. Even that gorgeous Heather. She's another top bird. There are possibilities. I'm getting distracted! Where is the blood, the fire?

Here is the blood. Here is the fire. Taste the blood. It's in your mouth! Let the fire burn you. Do not wander off. Take it, here, now. WE ARE NOT AFRAID. We are alive. We are not the dead. Let's make the most of it!