Tuesday 12 May 2020

Cashless - !!!

Who's cashless? Not I! No, no, no! I like to have a bit of cash in my pocket. I find it comforting, you dig?

But I've received this PR email, you see ...

NEARLY 70% OF SMALL BUSINESSES WILL BE CASHLESS - !!!

Christ. 'It's utterly demonic, boss. We don't want to see numbers going up and down in our bank accounts. We want cash in our wallets. We want to feel the cash in our hands!' Ha, ha, ha! You don't have hands, Voice. 'Astral hands.' Whatever. But you don't have a bank account, do you? 'I don't need one.' Well, stop talking then. Leave this to me, a man in the land of the living. 'Fair enough.' Thank you.

Research carried out by 3Gem for Amaiz, the business banking app, has revealed that 50% of small businesses have either become cashless or plan to as a result of The Thing. Of the rest, over 18% already only took card and just 21% of small businesses have no plans to go cashless.

Okay, okay. I don't approve. But let's hear more ...

The acceleration of the cashless society, since The Thing, has been prompted by evidence that The Thing lives on cash.  However, even prior to The Thing, there were signs that cash was dying out in the UK due to customer preference. In March, just prior to the lockdown, Amaiz reported that, of those businesses that only take cash, nearly a third had lost customers because of it. The Thing is likely to have driven that figure still higher.

So ... 'Ha! They're obsessed with saying "The Thing" over and over again. What's wrong with these people, boss?' Well, that's my expert editing, actually.

Anyway, let's hear from Matt ...

Matt Goddard, Head of Acquisitions at Amaiz comments: "Micro businesses have had a very challenging time. They have been forced to pivot and going cashless is one way that they can improve the safety of their employees and customers."

Well, okay, safety is great, obviously. I just don't like this cashless society nonsense. The next thing you know, dear reader(s), we will have a one-world government. Do you know what I mean?

Anyway, I'll let Matt conclude ...

Matt concludes: "Innovation is so often driven by necessity. Small businesses have faced a uniquely challenging time. We research and speak to business owners so that we can pivot our banking service to better meet their changing needs. Ensuring that our customers have access to cheap and safe payment options is clearly their priority."

Well, some people might like it. I don't know.

ENDS

...

Anything else?

Thought of the day: Realizations of grandeur. You won't get anywhere without them. Especially not in hard times.

Motivation? Yeah, yeah. I'll be getting back to it soon. The Vance/Musk audiobook. The long hours. The boxing exercise. The diet. The heavy guitar practice. The whole nine yards. You dig?

Nothing else makes sense to me.

Normality is a busted flush. I remember writing that ages ago. Ha! It's so true!

Laters!