Okay, okay. I have a PR email from our Jinksy. 'Oh, good.' Yes, Voice.
As the latest round of Brexit negotiations end in stalemate, ParcelHero warns the second wave of The Thing could reach its peak in the UK by New Year, just as Britain crashes out of the EU. The international courier urges that Brexit must be postponed to avoid manufacturers and retailers suffering a huge slump in demand abroad just as a second lockdown starts at home.
Well, okay. Listen! We don't know if there's going to be a second wave of The Thing yet. I mean, I've been seeing some positive news lately. 'Like what, boss?' Like, uh ... The Thing might burn itself out. Some professor or scientist or whatever was saying the other day that The Thing doesn't like heat or humidity. 'Okay.' Also, some other cats were saying that nineteen million people in the UK might have had it already. 'What cats?' Scientist cats. 'Okay.' Also, the government is saying we might have a vaccine by September. 'Great!' Yeah. BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT ... there are no guarantees, man. 'Of course not.' We don't know what's going to happen. Some people are being a bit positive about it all, that's all. We should still prepare for a second wave.
Anyway ...
This week's talks ended with the UK Chief Negotiator, David Frost, saying: "We have made very little progress towards agreement on the most significant outstanding issues between us" and the EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier confirming little progress has been made, and the EU and UK's positions are 'very divergent' on key areas.
I'll tell you the truth ... 'Go on then.' I never, never, never, never, never, never ... want to hear Brexit mentioned again. Never!
Anyway ...
ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT, says: "Vital Brexit negotiations had to be conducted by video link this week, hardly ideal for such sensitive and critical discussions. They ended in acrimony with the EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier saying progress had been disappointing. 'Why should we help British businesses promote their services in Europe, when we have no guarantee our businesses will get similar treatment in the UK?' he asked."
Oh, Christ. Okay.
"We are facing a financial disaster and it is time to end political posturing and face reality. If the UK does suffer a second wave of The Thing, it is likely to peak around the end of December. Some experts fear it will necessitate a second lockdown period, closing stores once again. This would correspond with Britain's departure from the European Union on January 1st. Progress on Brexit talks this week seems to have been like extracting teeth. What this means is a double hit to domestic sales and overseas sales for Britain's retailers and manufacturers, who are already punch-drunk from this year's events."
Right.
"Yesterday the World Health Organization's Regional Director for Europe, Dr Hans Kluge, warned that the UK and its European neighbours should prepare for a deadlier second wave of The Thing this winter. He revealed there are now new cases in places where The Thing had apparently disappeared, such as Wuhan and South Korea. And the UK's own Chief Medical Officer, Professor Chris Whitty, said in an online lecture yesterday that The Thing may be more severe and spread more rapidly in a second peak during the winter."
Okay, okay. That's enough. Thanks, Jinksy.
ENDS
...
Anything else?
"Without haste, but without rest."
Goethe said that. And it's good advice.
If you rush around like a madman, you're going to wear yourself out. So slow down a bit. However, don't rest! Do you understand?
One day, we will all rest, and we won't like it. Believe me.
Let's stay active!
