Outrageous!
'This is a disgrace, boss!'
Yes, Voice.
Hi Michael,
'Is that one of the vampires?! / Hey, vampire -'
No. Calm down. Christ. It's Issy.
Brits have been told how to save £147 a year on their energy bills by turning off the 10 "vampire appliances".
'Oh, okay.'
Unplugging these common household items instead of leaving them on standby mode will quickly bring down energy bills.
The experts at Quotezone.co.uk have named the ten household appliances that use the most energy in standby mode.
Right.
What does Greg say?
Greg Wilson, Founder at Quotezone.co.uk, says: "The simplest way for families to reduce their energy usage and save money is to eliminate unnecessary electricity use.
"Leaving appliances on standby means that they'll still be draining power even when you're not using them which causes unnecessary costs on your energy bills.
"Something as simple as flicking a switch can prevent the vampire appliances from eating up almost a quarter of your energy consumption.
"It's an easy win because you don't even have to make any major changes to your everyday habits to reduce these energy bills - it's just tricky to work out who the culprits are, so we've done some research and compiled a top ten list to help people identify which energy draining appliances to switch off and start saving."
Okay, Greg.
Uh ...
Here are the ten appliances that use the most standby energy from the team at Quotezone.co.uk:
Games console
Besides the running costs, leaving your gaming console on standby for a whole year will cost you £27.52. Modern gaming consoles are much more powerful than they used to be and consume a lot of energy because they are connected to the internet even when they're in standby mode.
Desktop computer
A lot of people are working from home nowadays and are using their computers for most of the day which already adds a considerable sum of money to their electricity bills. Leaving the computer on standby will add another £13.39 to their annual bills.
Laptop
The annual standby cost of laptops is £10.41. The good thing with laptops is that you can unplug them as soon as they've got enough charge instead of letting them eat up power all day.
Okay, thanks.
'There's more, boss!'
I know there is, but ...
'What?'
It's not a PR email about vampires, is it?
'It's about vampire appliances.'
Yeah. I thought we were getting something about vampires though. I mean, real vampires, you dig?
'FFS! You should read these emails more carefully before you commit to writing the posts.'
ENDS
ENDS
ENDS
...
Anything else?
I've got 125 lines of my big free verse poem. 95 of them are polished. I need to write another 30.
Well, I'm looking forward to writing some short poems after this.
Laters!
