Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Ardmore Global Investors?

COME ON!!! YES, YES, YES!!! / 'Eh?' Some exciting news, dear reader(s). Chris Connor is putting capital to work! 'Who the hell is Chris Connor, boss?!' Christ! Chris Connor is the man at Ardmore Global Investors. The man! He runs it. The managing partner or something. And the founder. 'Oh.' He was a partner at JAT Capital Management, too. 'Oh.' You see? 'Yeah.' He has $120 million in assets. Well, the hedge fund does. 'Okay.'

I mean ... Christ! Never mind. I try my best ... 'What about his profile on LinkedIn, boss?' Uh, it's nothing special. He doesn't say much about himself. Shy, maybe, although ... 'The profile might be a fake one.' No, our Chris has over five hundred connections. 'Impressive!' Yes, it's the real Mr Connor all right. / Ha! But this is interesting ... one of his skills, apparently, is "financial modelling". It takes all sorts, I suppose. 'What on earth is financial modelling, man?!' Oh, it's the new thing that these hedgies do. They pose in the nude, almost, with just banknotes covering their modesty. Then they put the photos on social media, you know, to show off to friends, enemies, clients. I don't know. 'Crazy!' It's very immature, Voice, but that's just how some of them get their kicks these days.

...

Other news? George Martin has passed away. Most producers aren't that important to an artist's sound, but imagine Tomorrow Never Knows, Strawberry Fields Forever and A Day in the Life without him. Also, he was very cool under pressure. Just watch this!

My music? [Yeah, I'm still writing about my music. So what?! This is a music blog, man. 'Er ...' Shut up, Voice!] I'm getting anxiety about doing the lyric for my new tune. I was depressed yesterday, thinking about it. I don't want to mess it up. I'm aiming for a pop song that is the equivalent of Smells Like Teen Spirit in rock music. Something that just blows everything else away, you dig? Well, my tune has got the same force and impact. [In a poppy manner, of course. And at a slower pace.] / No prisoners! No prisoners! NO PRISONERS!!!

Laters.

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Ian Aylward has left Aviva Investors

Well, well ... / It's pretty strange, really. Why would Ian leave? Why - 'He has left! Why did Ian leave? - is the question, boss.' Shut up, you idiot! Why would anyone leave Aviva Investors? That's the question, man! 'Maybe Mr Aylward wanted to do some work for a change. Maybe he got sick of the lifestyle.' Yes, maybe. I don't know. He was supposed to be head of multi-manager research at Aviva Investors, but ... 'Yeah.' I don't need to say any more, do I?

Christ knows what he's going to do now though. I've been looking at his LinkedIn profile. He has a strange name. 'Ian Aylward sounds all right to me.' I mean his full name: Ian Aylward Asip Caia. 'Ha! God!' You see what I mean? 'That is bloody strange, boss. Is it a mystic name?' Well, I'm thinking he's probably Ian Aylward at work, and then Asip Caia on the astral plane. 'Oh, clever.' Very clever. 'Even though you've banned the astral plane?' Eh?! Asip can still go for recreational and spiritual development purposes, Voice. Just not for finance bollocks, that's all. 'Okay. / I reckon he should stick with the second name all the time, and dump the "Ian Aylward".' Well, we don't know what he's going to do next. He could be "Asip Caia" ... if he got a job in one of those occult shops that sell candles and incense and tarot cards and pathworking CDs and all the other shit. 'He hasn't updated his LinkedIn profile yet.' Interesting. We should keep an eye on it, then. In a week or two it will probably say: Shop Assistant at Mysteries. Something like that.

...

Anything else? No. Nothing else. Unless you want me to write about music. 'Politics?' Piss off! 'Sorry.' / I'm listening to Billy Idol, for a change. Greatest Hits. He has some good songs. Eyes Without a Face is his best, I reckon. / My music? I ain't writing about my music for a while. 'Yeah, give it a rest.' But I'm mentally preparing myself to finish my best song. 'Oh, Christ! How?' By doing that "Beethoven" thing I wrote about a few weeks ago. You know, how I imagine he felt after his Seventh and before his Ninth. / Anyway, laters, yeah?

Monday, 7 March 2016

[No. 396] All the Waterloo sunset, er ... dudes - ?

Is that right? Oh, it don't matter!

And the old tunes are the best - ?[1], and I'm not as young as I used to be ... / ... and I'm not kicking anything in the head, so ...[1], and the old tunes are the best - ?[2], and I still get a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and I'm not as young as I used to be ... / ... and I'm not kicking anything in the head, so ...[2], and I don't need no friends as long as I can get DIZZY(!) out of my head in this ... PARADISE (almost)[1], and I still get a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and life beyond the THREE will be even better[1], and I don't need no friends as long as I can get DIZZY(!) out of my head in this ... PARADISE (almost)[2], and I feel so light ... / ... and there's concrete in my soul in the REAL(!) world[1], and life beyond the THREE will be even better[2], and it's chilly, chilly out there, too![1], and I feel so light ... / ... and there's concrete in my soul in the REAL(!) world[2], and I'm happy in this moment, that ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[1], and it's chilly, chilly out there, too![2], and I ain't chasing no cat anywhere![1], and I'm happy in this moment, that ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[2], and a Waterloo sunset? Ha! Any sunset will do me ... / But I don't need no fucking rainbow, man![1], and I ain't chasing no cat anywhere![2], and I bet you're so BUSY(!)!!![1], and a Waterloo sunset? Ha! Any sunset will do me ... / But I don't need no fucking rainbow, man![2], and take a day off, square(s)! / and I want to hear YOU(!) / and I want to see YOU(!)[1], and I bet you're so BUSY(!)!!![2], and put some stars on your face[1], and take a day off, square(s)! / and I want to hear YOU(!) / and I want to see YOU(!)[2], and YOU(!) ... gotta get DIZZY(!) / What are you living for?![1], and put some stars on your face[2], and I am the guru to end all gurus, metal or plastic / COME ON! Let's get to Waterloo, over sky![1], and YOU(!) ... gotta get DIZZY(!) / What are you living for?![2], and ... dude(s), please![1], and I am the guru to end all gurus, metal or plastic / COME ON! Let's get to Waterloo, over sky![2], and all the rainbow clowns believe in the wrong shit / and you can lead a horse to water ...[1], and ... dude(s), please![2], and I'm not bothered, man[1], and all the rainbow clowns believe in the wrong shit / and you can lead a horse to water ...[2], and a-ROUND here NOW(!), just happy ... /  ... I've wanted to do this for years, ha, ha, ha![1], and I'm not bothered, man[2], and the old tunes are the best - ?[3], and a-ROUND here NOW(!), just happy ... /  ... I've wanted to do this for years, ha, ha, ha![2], and I'm not as young as I used to be ... / ... and I'm not kicking anything in the head, so ...[3], and I still get a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and I don't need no friends as long as I can get DIZZY(!) out of my head in this ... PARADISE (almost)[3], and life beyond the THREE will be even better[3], and I feel so light ... / ... and there's concrete in my soul in the REAL(!) world[3], and it's chilly, chilly out there, too![3], and I'm happy in this moment, that ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[3], and I ain't chasing no cat anywhere![3], and a Waterloo sunset? Ha! Any sunset will do me ... / But I don't need no fucking rainbow, man![3], and I bet you're so BUSY(!)!!![3], and take a day off, square(s)! / and I want to hear YOU(!) / and I want to see YOU(!)[3], and put some stars on your face[3], and YOU(!) ... gotta get DIZZY(!) / What are you living for?![3], and I am the guru to end all gurus, metal or plastic / COME ON! Let's get to Waterloo, over sky![3], and ... dude(s), please![3], and all the rainbow clowns believe in the wrong shit / and you can lead a horse to water ...[3], and I'm not bothered, man[3], and a-ROUND here NOW(!), just happy ... /  ... I've wanted to do this for years, ha, ha, ha![3], and

And the old tunes are the best - ?[1], and I'm not as young as I used to be ... / ... and I'm not kicking anything in the head, so ...[1], and the old tunes are the best - ?[2], and I still get a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and I'm not as young as I used to be ... / ... and I'm not kicking anything in the head, so ...[2], and I don't need no friends as long as I can get DIZZY(!) out of my head in this ... PARADISE (almost)[1], and I still get a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and life beyond the THREE will be even better[1], and I don't need no friends as long as I can get DIZZY(!) out of my head in this ... PARADISE (almost)[2], and I feel so light ... / ... and there's concrete in my soul in the REAL(!) world[1], and life beyond the THREE will be even better[2], and it's chilly, chilly out there, too![1], and I feel so light ... / ... and there's concrete in my soul in the REAL(!) world[2], and I'm happy in this moment, that ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[1], and it's chilly, chilly out there, too![2], and I ain't chasing no cat anywhere![1], and I'm happy in this moment, that ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[2], and a Waterloo sunset? Ha! Any sunset will do me ... / But I don't need no fucking rainbow, man![1], and I ain't chasing no cat anywhere![2], and I bet you're so BUSY(!)!!![1], and a Waterloo sunset? Ha! Any sunset will do me ... / But I don't need no fucking rainbow, man![2], and take a day off, square(s)! / and I want to hear YOU(!) / and I want to see YOU(!)[1], and I bet you're so BUSY(!)!!![2], and put some stars on your face[1], and take a day off, square(s)! / and I want to hear YOU(!) / and I want to see YOU(!)[2], and YOU(!) ... gotta get DIZZY(!) / What are you living for?![1], and put some stars on your face[2], and I am the guru to end all gurus, metal or plastic / COME ON! Let's get to Waterloo, over sky![1], and YOU(!) ... gotta get DIZZY(!) / What are you living for?![2], and ... dude(s), please![1], and I am the guru to end all gurus, metal or plastic / COME ON! Let's get to Waterloo, over sky![2], and all the rainbow clowns believe in the wrong shit / and you can lead a horse to water ...[1], and ... dude(s), please![2], and I'm not bothered, man[1], and all the rainbow clowns believe in the wrong shit / and you can lead a horse to water ...[2], and a-ROUND here NOW(!), just happy ... /  ... I've wanted to do this for years, ha, ha, ha![1], and I'm not bothered, man[2], and the old tunes are the best - ?[3], and a-ROUND here NOW(!), just happy ... /  ... I've wanted to do this for years, ha, ha, ha![2], and I'm not as young as I used to be ... / ... and I'm not kicking anything in the head, so ...[3], and I still get a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and I don't need no friends as long as I can get DIZZY(!) out of my head in this ... PARADISE (almost)[3], and life beyond the THREE will be even better[3], and I feel so light ... / ... and there's concrete in my soul in the REAL(!) world[3], and it's chilly, chilly out there, too![3], and I'm happy in this moment, that ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[3], and I ain't chasing no cat anywhere![3], and a Waterloo sunset? Ha! Any sunset will do me ... / But I don't need no fucking rainbow, man![3], and I bet you're so BUSY(!)!!![3], and take a day off, square(s)! / and I want to hear YOU(!) / and I want to see YOU(!)[3], and put some stars on your face[3], and YOU(!) ... gotta get DIZZY(!) / What are you living for?![3], and I am the guru to end all gurus, metal or plastic / COME ON! Let's get to Waterloo, over sky![3], and ... dude(s), please![3], and all the rainbow clowns believe in the wrong shit / and you can lead a horse to water ...[3], and I'm not bothered, man[3], and a-ROUND here NOW(!), just happy ... /  ... I've wanted to do this for years, ha, ha, ha![3], and

And the old tunes are the best - ?[1], and I'm not as young as I used to be ... / ... and I'm not kicking anything in the head, so ...[1], and the old tunes are the best - ?[2], and I still get a-ROUND, you dig?[1], and I'm not as young as I used to be ... / ... and I'm not kicking anything in the head, so ...[2], and I don't need no friends as long as I can get DIZZY(!) out of my head in this ... PARADISE (almost)[1], and I still get a-ROUND, you dig?[2], and life beyond the THREE will be even better[1], and I don't need no friends as long as I can get DIZZY(!) out of my head in this ... PARADISE (almost)[2], and I feel so light ... / ... and there's concrete in my soul in the REAL(!) world[1], and life beyond the THREE will be even better[2], and it's chilly, chilly out there, too![1], and I feel so light ... / ... and there's concrete in my soul in the REAL(!) world[2], and I'm happy in this moment, that ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[1], and it's chilly, chilly out there, too![2], and I ain't chasing no cat anywhere![1], and I'm happy in this moment, that ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[2], and a Waterloo sunset? Ha! Any sunset will do me ... / But I don't need no fucking rainbow, man![1], and I ain't chasing no cat anywhere![2], and I bet you're so BUSY(!)!!![1], and a Waterloo sunset? Ha! Any sunset will do me ... / But I don't need no fucking rainbow, man![2], and take a day off, square(s)! / and I want to hear YOU(!) / and I want to see YOU(!)[1], and I bet you're so BUSY(!)!!![2], and put some stars on your face[1], and take a day off, square(s)! / and I want to hear YOU(!) / and I want to see YOU(!)[2], and YOU(!) ... gotta get DIZZY(!) / What are you living for?![1], and put some stars on your face[2], and I am the guru to end all gurus, metal or plastic / COME ON! Let's get to Waterloo, over sky![1], and YOU(!) ... gotta get DIZZY(!) / What are you living for?![2], and ... dude(s), please![1], and I am the guru to end all gurus, metal or plastic / COME ON! Let's get to Waterloo, over sky![2], and all the rainbow clowns believe in the wrong shit / and you can lead a horse to water ...[1], and ... dude(s), please![2], and I'm not bothered, man[1], and all the rainbow clowns believe in the wrong shit / and you can lead a horse to water ...[2], and a-ROUND here NOW(!), just happy ... /  ... I've wanted to do this for years, ha, ha, ha![1], and I'm not bothered, man[2], and the old tunes are the best - ?[3], and a-ROUND here NOW(!), just happy ... /  ... I've wanted to do this for years, ha, ha, ha![2], and I'm not as young as I used to be ... / ... and I'm not kicking anything in the head, so ...[3], and I still get a-ROUND, you dig?[3], and I don't need no friends as long as I can get DIZZY(!) out of my head in this ... PARADISE (almost)[3], and life beyond the THREE will be even better[3], and I feel so light ... / ... and there's concrete in my soul in the REAL(!) world[3], and it's chilly, chilly out there, too![3], and I'm happy in this moment, that ... / ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND[3], and I ain't chasing no cat anywhere![3], and a Waterloo sunset? Ha! Any sunset will do me ... / But I don't need no fucking rainbow, man![3], and I bet you're so BUSY(!)!!![3], and take a day off, square(s)! / and I want to hear YOU(!) / and I want to see YOU(!)[3], and put some stars on your face[3], and YOU(!) ... gotta get DIZZY(!) / What are you living for?![3], and I am the guru to end all gurus, metal or plastic / COME ON! Let's get to Waterloo, over sky![3], and ... dude(s), please![3], and all the rainbow clowns believe in the wrong shit / and you can lead a horse to water ...[3], and I'm not bothered, man[3], and a-ROUND here NOW(!), just happy ... /  ... I've wanted to do this for years, ha, ha, ha![3], and

Tiger Global Management, uh, losses ...

Well, well ... Christ! Monday, is it? The morning. 'Ha!' / I'm not much in the mood for finance today, much, to tell you the truth, so much, dear reader(s). Oh, I'll be getting a-ROUND later, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, but no finance ... [... and maybe only one conceptual this week, so make the most of it, yeah? Just get incredibly DIZZY(!), my little spinner(s)!] / So, well, yes, we have Tiger Global to deal with. Er ... losses! Don't panic!

Jesus! Monday, and morning ... / I'm sure it's no big deal. Actually, the firm is Tyger Global. William Blake. Poetic shit. 'Ha!' Never mind. As I was saying, it's no big deal that Charles Payson "Chase Me" Coleman III's Tyger Global lost 8.5 per cent last month, and - 'It's down 22.5 per cent for the year, boss.' Shut up, Voice, please, please. I'll tell them! It's my blog. / Yeah, 22.5 per cent. I don't know which year. 'The year, boss.' Thank you, Voice. It's the year, whichever year that is. Who cares?! Let's give Chase a chance to get it all back. / What else? Anything else?!

[Chase!!! If you're reading this, son, we're giving you more time. I ain't chasing you though. Not my scene, you dig?]

...

Anything else? Something else. Music! I'm listening to London Calling by The Clash. I've never really liked this band before, but I like this album. Impressively, with nineteen tracks there is hardly any filler. If you listen to Elvis Costello's Get Happy, you'll find most of the twenty songs are filler except for a couple of classics, High Fidelity and New Amsterdam. [I Can't Stand Up (For Falling Down) is a cover version.] / By the way, the download of London Calling is only £3.99 on Amazon. So, a bargain too!

My music? I think I'm going to stop my updates. Now my demo is done, there's no point in writing about every small thing ... HOWEVER(!!!), I can tell you that I've finished my new tune. It's a pop ballad [not a crooner's ballad like You're Lying, more like All The Young Dudes or Waterloo Sunset, hopefully, ha!] around four minutes fifteen seconds. It's my best piece of music, and I reckon that with the right lyric it will be my best song. / Maybe it will turn up on my demo blog in a few weeks, or maybe not. I'm not making any promises. Ah, that's it, man!!!

Thursday, 3 March 2016

Driss Lamrani has got himself a new job at NewAlpha Asset Management

Well done, son! / Yeah, our Driss used to work at GLG Partners. And he's a financial shaman, too. 'Of course he is, with a name like that. Who was that other Driss, boss?' Er ... Driss Ben-Brahim. 'Are they related?' No. It's their first name, idiot! / By the way, dear reader(s), both Drisses are old friends of mine.

Not sure I've ever heard of NewAlpha Asset Management though. Have we heard of it, Voice? 'I'm not sure, man. I could have a look in your archive.' Oh, don't bother. It ain't important. This is from the website -

NewAlpha Asset Management offers a wide range of products and services. Through the intermediary of NewAlpha, qualified investors gain access to the most innovative and dynamic firms within the financial arena.

Nice one. / It's a French firm. Based in Paris.

I'm looking at Driss' LinkedIn profile now. Apparently, he has a firm of his own, Augmented Intelligence Investment Research Ltd. That will have to go. 'Why?' NewAlpha will want him to focus on his job with them. I mean, fair's fair. And it's no big deal. It will probably be a relief for our Driss. Not everyone can handle it. The stress. The loneliness. The responsibility. 'What are you going on about?' Running your own business. 'And you know?!' I have this blog. 'Christ!'

Well, it goes without saying that I wish him all the best. I wish you all the best, Driss! 'Wasted words, boss.' Shut up!

...

Anything else? Music? I've cut my new tune back to the original thirty seconds I was pleased with the other day. All the stuff I was tacking on to it was starting to make it sound totally shit like Bohemian Rhapsody or something. When you're trying to write a great song the temptation is to throw the kitchen sink in as well, but that always ends in disaster. / Obviously, songs have repetition in them, so I'll have to expand this thirty seconds and add variations. You know, a chord change here and there.

Well, laters, yeah? If I go to the pub tomorrow, I'll only have Cokes. Last week, one pint of Stella gave me a migraine that knocked me out for two days. It's a bloody joke!

Wednesday, 2 March 2016

New embargo same as the old embargo

Yes, it's, er ... the Wednesday night PR email, back by popular demand. But, however, alas ... I can't tell you anything about it, the story. The exciting story. 'Why not, boss?' Because there's an embargo, Voice. 'That was the old embargo, man.' Yes. And this is the new embargo. 'Are you sure?!' Not really, son, but it's all so confusing.

I'm not a journalist. I don't understand embargo this and embargo that. Old and new. What does it all mean? 'It says here seven in the morning.' That's the old embargo. 'No, boss. I think you're getting confused. It's the new embargo.' Yes, I'm confused. Listen, I don't want to get into trouble, you dig? 'Of course not.' Imagine if I wrote about something that wasn't allowed by the powers that be. 'Powers that ... er ...' PR powers, Voice. 'Okay. Are they powerful then?' Oh, definitely. Big time! If they weren't powerful they wouldn't be going in for all this embargo nonsense, would they? I mean, that's logic. 'I suppose.' I just don't want to mess with them. I value my health. I don't want to get my head kicked in or anything.

So, to be on the safe side, I will never write about this story. 'That's a bit extreme!' No, safety first, man. 'But the people will never know now. Think of your readers.' My readers can look after themselves. 'What about tomorrow? I'm sure it will be all right tomorrow.' No! Never, never, never, never, never, never!

NEVER!!!

[No. 395] They could stay forever young at Cantab Capital Partners ...

Just gotta get a-ROUND. Never grow old. Preserved. It's the new way, spinner(s). You know this. But the whole world needs to know!

And are you DIZZY(!)?[1], and forget the Lego, Cantab freaks! / Have you ever been DIZZY(!) a-ROUND here out of your mind(s), soul(s)?[1], and are you DIZZY(!)?[2], and I'm offering true freedom, true immortality ...[1], and forget the Lego, Cantab freaks! / Have you ever been DIZZY(!) a-ROUND here out of your mind(s), soul(s)?[2], and the THREE is this way ... oh, come with me, come with me, come with me / ah, don't be shy![1], and I'm offering true freedom, true immortality ...[2], and some say that algorithmic trading can help to overcome cognitive biases inherent in human-based trading decisions - whatever![1], and the THREE is this way ... oh, come with me, come with me, come with me / ah, don't be shy![2], and finance is important - ?![1], and some say that algorithmic trading can help to overcome cognitive biases inherent in human-based trading decisions - whatever![2], and no one will care when we're GONE ... / and will you ever be so incredibly GONE - ?[1], and finance is important - ?![2], and ... CAMBRIDGE?! ... / ... uh, what's the ancient bullshit?[1], and no one will care when we're GONE ... / and will you ever be so incredibly GONE - ?[2], and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no / I prefer feelings, anyway[1], and ... CAMBRIDGE?! ... / ... uh, what's the ancient bullshit?[2], and some people know their Latin, and other people aren't actually ponces, so ... - you digging me on this?[1], and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no / I prefer feelings, anyway[2], and spiritual aristocrats educate themselves ...[1], and some people know their Latin, and other people aren't actually ponces, so ... - you digging me on this?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and if you know, my little spinner(s), you will soon forget[1], and spiritual aristocrats educate themselves ...[2], and ... oh, that's my personal guarantee![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and if you know, my little spinner(s), you will soon forget[2], and my freak(s), may, may, may ... oh, I don't know, and it doesn't matter[1], and ... oh, that's my personal guarantee![2], and NEVER GROW up/OLD!!![1], and my freak(s), may, may, may ... oh, I don't know, and it doesn't matter[2], and are you DIZZY(!)?[3], and NEVER GROW up/OLD!!![2], and forget the Lego, Cantab freaks! / Have you ever been DIZZY(!) a-ROUND here out of your mind(s), soul(s)?[3], and I'm offering true freedom, true immortality ...[3], and the THREE is this way ... oh, come with me, come with me, come with me / ah, don't be shy![3], and some say that algorithmic trading can help to overcome cognitive biases inherent in human-based trading decisions - whatever![3], and finance is important - ?![3], and no one will care when we're GONE ... / and will you ever be so incredibly GONE - ?[3], and ... CAMBRIDGE?! ... / ... uh, what's the ancient bullshit?[3], and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no / I prefer feelings, anyway[3], and some people know their Latin, and other people aren't actually ponces, so ... - you digging me on this?[3], and spiritual aristocrats educate themselves ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and if you know, my little spinner(s), you will soon forget[3], and ... oh, that's my personal guarantee![3], and my freak(s), may, may, may ... oh, I don't know, and it doesn't matter[3], and NEVER GROW up/OLD!!![3], and

And are you DIZZY(!)?[1], and forget the Lego, Cantab freaks! / Have you ever been DIZZY(!) a-ROUND here out of your mind(s), soul(s)?[1], and are you DIZZY(!)?[2], and I'm offering true freedom, true immortality ...[1], and forget the Lego, Cantab freaks! / Have you ever been DIZZY(!) a-ROUND here out of your mind(s), soul(s)?[2], and the THREE is this way ... oh, come with me, come with me, come with me / ah, don't be shy![1], and I'm offering true freedom, true immortality ...[2], and some say that algorithmic trading can help to overcome cognitive biases inherent in human-based trading decisions - whatever![1], and the THREE is this way ... oh, come with me, come with me, come with me / ah, don't be shy![2], and finance is important - ?![1], and some say that algorithmic trading can help to overcome cognitive biases inherent in human-based trading decisions - whatever![2], and no one will care when we're GONE ... / and will you ever be so incredibly GONE - ?[1], and finance is important - ?![2], and ... CAMBRIDGE?! ... / ... uh, what's the ancient bullshit?[1], and no one will care when we're GONE ... / and will you ever be so incredibly GONE - ?[2], and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no / I prefer feelings, anyway[1], and ... CAMBRIDGE?! ... / ... uh, what's the ancient bullshit?[2], and some people know their Latin, and other people aren't actually ponces, so ... - you digging me on this?[1], and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no / I prefer feelings, anyway[2], and spiritual aristocrats educate themselves ...[1], and some people know their Latin, and other people aren't actually ponces, so ... - you digging me on this?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and if you know, my little spinner(s), you will soon forget[1], and spiritual aristocrats educate themselves ...[2], and ... oh, that's my personal guarantee![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and if you know, my little spinner(s), you will soon forget[2], and my freak(s), may, may, may ... oh, I don't know, and it doesn't matter[1], and ... oh, that's my personal guarantee![2], and NEVER GROW up/OLD!!![1], and my freak(s), may, may, may ... oh, I don't know, and it doesn't matter[2], and are you DIZZY(!)?[3], and NEVER GROW up/OLD!!![2], and forget the Lego, Cantab freaks! / Have you ever been DIZZY(!) a-ROUND here out of your mind(s), soul(s)?[3], and I'm offering true freedom, true immortality ...[3], and the THREE is this way ... oh, come with me, come with me, come with me / ah, don't be shy![3], and some say that algorithmic trading can help to overcome cognitive biases inherent in human-based trading decisions - whatever![3], and finance is important - ?![3], and no one will care when we're GONE ... / and will you ever be so incredibly GONE - ?[3], and ... CAMBRIDGE?! ... / ... uh, what's the ancient bullshit?[3], and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no / I prefer feelings, anyway[3], and some people know their Latin, and other people aren't actually ponces, so ... - you digging me on this?[3], and spiritual aristocrats educate themselves ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and if you know, my little spinner(s), you will soon forget[3], and ... oh, that's my personal guarantee![3], and my freak(s), may, may, may ... oh, I don't know, and it doesn't matter[3], and NEVER GROW up/OLD!!![3], and

And are you DIZZY(!)?[1], and forget the Lego, Cantab freaks! / Have you ever been DIZZY(!) a-ROUND here out of your mind(s), soul(s)?[1], and are you DIZZY(!)?[2], and I'm offering true freedom, true immortality ...[1], and forget the Lego, Cantab freaks! / Have you ever been DIZZY(!) a-ROUND here out of your mind(s), soul(s)?[2], and the THREE is this way ... oh, come with me, come with me, come with me / ah, don't be shy![1], and I'm offering true freedom, true immortality ...[2], and some say that algorithmic trading can help to overcome cognitive biases inherent in human-based trading decisions - whatever![1], and the THREE is this way ... oh, come with me, come with me, come with me / ah, don't be shy![2], and finance is important - ?![1], and some say that algorithmic trading can help to overcome cognitive biases inherent in human-based trading decisions - whatever![2], and no one will care when we're GONE ... / and will you ever be so incredibly GONE - ?[1], and finance is important - ?![2], and ... CAMBRIDGE?! ... / ... uh, what's the ancient bullshit?[1], and no one will care when we're GONE ... / and will you ever be so incredibly GONE - ?[2], and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no / I prefer feelings, anyway[1], and ... CAMBRIDGE?! ... / ... uh, what's the ancient bullshit?[2], and some people know their Latin, and other people aren't actually ponces, so ... - you digging me on this?[1], and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no / I prefer feelings, anyway[2], and spiritual aristocrats educate themselves ...[1], and some people know their Latin, and other people aren't actually ponces, so ... - you digging me on this?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and if you know, my little spinner(s), you will soon forget[1], and spiritual aristocrats educate themselves ...[2], and ... oh, that's my personal guarantee![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and if you know, my little spinner(s), you will soon forget[2], and my freak(s), may, may, may ... oh, I don't know, and it doesn't matter[1], and ... oh, that's my personal guarantee![2], and NEVER GROW up/OLD!!![1], and my freak(s), may, may, may ... oh, I don't know, and it doesn't matter[2], and are you DIZZY(!)?[3], and NEVER GROW up/OLD!!![2], and forget the Lego, Cantab freaks! / Have you ever been DIZZY(!) a-ROUND here out of your mind(s), soul(s)?[3], and I'm offering true freedom, true immortality ...[3], and the THREE is this way ... oh, come with me, come with me, come with me / ah, don't be shy![3], and some say that algorithmic trading can help to overcome cognitive biases inherent in human-based trading decisions - whatever![3], and finance is important - ?![3], and no one will care when we're GONE ... / and will you ever be so incredibly GONE - ?[3], and ... CAMBRIDGE?! ... / ... uh, what's the ancient bullshit?[3], and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no, and I can't think, no / I prefer feelings, anyway[3], and some people know their Latin, and other people aren't actually ponces, so ... - you digging me on this?[3], and spiritual aristocrats educate themselves ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / ... and if you know, my little spinner(s), you will soon forget[3], and ... oh, that's my personal guarantee![3], and my freak(s), may, may, may ... oh, I don't know, and it doesn't matter[3], and NEVER GROW up/OLD!!![3], and

More children than ever experienced LEGO play in 2015 as a result of 19 per cent sales growth

LEGO? Capitals?

'Boss, what the hell is this?! Seriously!' It's the Wednesday morning PR email, Voice, back by popular demand. 'About Lego?!' Bear with me, man. This is actually relevant. 'How?' Oh, you don't remember Cantab Capital Partners? 'Oh, right. Of course.' Yes, this story will be of massive interest to Ewan Kirk and all the boys and girls at Cantab.

This is from a post of mine in November 2013: Dear reader(s), do you remember the days when Ewan Kirk had no ego, and then he had an ego? They were confusing times. / Well, things have taken a turn for the worse. Now Mr Kirk has bought Lego for his staff. 'What?!' That's right, Voice. Lego! You can argue they've taken it a step further than Aviva Investors. Not only is work a thing of the past, but they're playing now too. 'They're not even pretending, Mikey!' No, man. / I suppose you've got to admire them.

And this is from the PR email -

THE LEGO Group continued its global expansion and reached children in all regions of the world in 2015. This was enabled by strong performance of new product innovations, such as LEGO Dimensions, LEGO Star Wars, LEGO Ninjago and LEGO Elves, and a continued high interest in core LEGO themes such as LEGO City.

Ha! You see? Children! Not grown adults working in finance. Not adults who should know better. No! Children!

What does Jorgen Vig Knudstorp say about it? 'Who?' The boss, Voice. The big Lego man. 'Is he made out of Lego?' No. / Jorgen says -

2015 was a fantastic year for us as a company dedicated to inspire and develop children through play. Across the year we estimate that 100 million children had a LEGO experience - be it through playing with great LEGO products, in schools via LEGO Education materials or by participating in local community activities or receiving product donations driven by the LEGO Foundation across the world.

No mention of the men and women at Cantab Capital Partners. Strange, eh?

...

Anything else? Music? I'm listening to Brian Eno's Ambient 2/The Plateaux of Mirror. With Harold Budd. 'You're listening with Harry? Where is he then?' No! Eno recorded it with Harry. 'Oh.' / It's not as good as Apollo, but it's all right, man.

My music? I might have another tune ready. [I mean, it may need minor adjustments.] And it's good!

Lunch? I haven't been to the Tesco petrol station shop yet, but I'll be making my own. Probably bread rolls with cheese and cucumber. 'Nice.' Yes, very nice.

Laters.

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

[No. 394] What a spinner!

Uh, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND.

And you two bob ...[1], and here before... oh, YOU(!) pissed it all a-ROUND the corner where we chased the THREE[1], and you two bob ...[2], and what a fucking spinner![1], and here before... oh, YOU(!) pissed it all a-ROUND the corner where we chased the THREE[2], and what a divvy, thinking you're getting something other than a-ROUND here, man[1], and what a fucking spinner![2], and when you wake up in the world's reality ...[1], and what a divvy, thinking you're getting something other than a-ROUND here, man[2], and you're pissing it all a-ROUND my consciousness NOW(!) ... / and I own you, my little spinner(s)[1], and when you wake up in the world's reality ...[2], and the City is hard/fair ...[1], and you're pissing it all a-ROUND my consciousness NOW(!) ... / and I own you, my little spinner(s)[2], and what you prefer, I don't know, there is no other way / and I've heard voices with more ideas than you[1], and the City is hard/fair ...[2], and so DIZZY(!) ... so lie down in your bed with tears coming out of everywhere[1], and what you prefer, I don't know, there is no other way / and I've heard voices with more ideas than you[2], and I know you can't cope[1], and so DIZZY(!) ... so lie down in your bed with tears coming out of everywhere[2], and uh, uh, uh ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, chase the THREE and get off BEYOND(!!!)[1], and I know you can't cope[2], and the clashing/jamming of guitars is what we need to really get us in the mood ...[1], and uh, uh, uh ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, chase the THREE and get off BEYOND(!!!)[2], and here they come![1], and the clashing/jamming of guitars is what we need to really get us in the mood ...[2], and NOW(!!!) you just say ... a jumble of words to me, so confusing / maybe it's my ears ...[1], and here they come![2], and I'm feeling the NOISE[1], and NOW(!!!) you just say ... a jumble of words to me, so confusing / maybe it's my ears ...[2], and I'm, uh, rolling a-ROUND here ... with or without you, now that you've gone insane, which might actually help[1], and I'm feeling the NOISE[2], and, er, spinning, rolling, it's all the same as long as you're DIZZY(!)[1], and I'm, uh, rolling a-ROUND here ... with or without you, now that you've gone insane, which might actually help[2], and YOU(!) ... pop in and pop out of my life, and I'm always alone ... with my elevated mind on the mountain top[1], and, er, spinning, rolling, it's all the same as long as you're DIZZY(!)[2], and spiritual aristocrats don't have it easy, man![1], and YOU(!) ... pop in and pop out of my life, and I'm always alone ... with my elevated mind on the mountain top[2], and you two bob ...[3], and spiritual aristocrats don't have it easy, man![2], and here before... oh, YOU(!) pissed it all a-ROUND the corner where we chased the THREE[3], and what a fucking spinner![3], and what a divvy, thinking you're getting something other than a-ROUND here, man[3], and when you wake up in the world's reality ...[3], and you're pissing it all a-ROUND my consciousness NOW(!) ... / and I own you, my little spinner(s)[3], and the City is hard/fair ...[3], and what you prefer, I don't know, there is no other way / and I've heard voices with more ideas than you[3], and so DIZZY(!) ... so lie down in your bed with tears coming out of everywhere[3], and I know you can't cope[3], and uh, uh, uh ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, chase the THREE and get off BEYOND(!!!)[3], and the clashing/jamming of guitars is what we need to really get us in the mood ...[3], and here they come![3], and NOW(!!!) you just say ... a jumble of words to me, so confusing / maybe it's my ears ...[3], and I'm feeling the NOISE[3], and I'm, uh, rolling a-ROUND here ... with or without you, now that you've gone insane, which might actually help[3], and, er, spinning, rolling, it's all the same as long as you're DIZZY(!)[3], and YOU(!) ... pop in and pop out of my life, and I'm always alone ... with my elevated mind on the mountain top[3], and spiritual aristocrats don't have it easy, man![3], and

And you two bob ...[1], and here before... oh, YOU(!) pissed it all a-ROUND the corner where we chased the THREE[1], and you two bob ...[2], and what a fucking spinner![1], and here before... oh, YOU(!) pissed it all a-ROUND the corner where we chased the THREE[2], and what a divvy, thinking you're getting something other than a-ROUND here, man[1], and what a fucking spinner![2], and when you wake up in the world's reality ...[1], and what a divvy, thinking you're getting something other than a-ROUND here, man[2], and you're pissing it all a-ROUND my consciousness NOW(!) ... / and I own you, my little spinner(s)[1], and when you wake up in the world's reality ...[2], and the City is hard/fair ...[1], and you're pissing it all a-ROUND my consciousness NOW(!) ... / and I own you, my little spinner(s)[2], and what you prefer, I don't know, there is no other way / and I've heard voices with more ideas than you[1], and the City is hard/fair ...[2], and so DIZZY(!) ... so lie down in your bed with tears coming out of everywhere[1], and what you prefer, I don't know, there is no other way / and I've heard voices with more ideas than you[2], and I know you can't cope[1], and so DIZZY(!) ... so lie down in your bed with tears coming out of everywhere[2], and uh, uh, uh ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, chase the THREE and get off BEYOND(!!!)[1], and I know you can't cope[2], and the clashing/jamming of guitars is what we need to really get us in the mood ...[1], and uh, uh, uh ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, chase the THREE and get off BEYOND(!!!)[2], and here they come![1], and the clashing/jamming of guitars is what we need to really get us in the mood ...[2], and NOW(!!!) you just say ... a jumble of words to me, so confusing / maybe it's my ears ...[1], and here they come![2], and I'm feeling the NOISE[1], and NOW(!!!) you just say ... a jumble of words to me, so confusing / maybe it's my ears ...[2], and I'm, uh, rolling a-ROUND here ... with or without you, now that you've gone insane, which might actually help[1], and I'm feeling the NOISE[2], and, er, spinning, rolling, it's all the same as long as you're DIZZY(!)[1], and I'm, uh, rolling a-ROUND here ... with or without you, now that you've gone insane, which might actually help[2], and YOU(!) ... pop in and pop out of my life, and I'm always alone ... with my elevated mind on the mountain top[1], and, er, spinning, rolling, it's all the same as long as you're DIZZY(!)[2], and spiritual aristocrats don't have it easy, man![1], and YOU(!) ... pop in and pop out of my life, and I'm always alone ... with my elevated mind on the mountain top[2], and you two bob ...[3], and spiritual aristocrats don't have it easy, man![2], and here before... oh, YOU(!) pissed it all a-ROUND the corner where we chased the THREE[3], and what a fucking spinner![3], and what a divvy, thinking you're getting something other than a-ROUND here, man[3], and when you wake up in the world's reality ...[3], and you're pissing it all a-ROUND my consciousness NOW(!) ... / and I own you, my little spinner(s)[3], and the City is hard/fair ...[3], and what you prefer, I don't know, there is no other way / and I've heard voices with more ideas than you[3], and so DIZZY(!) ... so lie down in your bed with tears coming out of everywhere[3], and I know you can't cope[3], and uh, uh, uh ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, chase the THREE and get off BEYOND(!!!)[3], and the clashing/jamming of guitars is what we need to really get us in the mood ...[3], and here they come![3], and NOW(!!!) you just say ... a jumble of words to me, so confusing / maybe it's my ears ...[3], and I'm feeling the NOISE[3], and I'm, uh, rolling a-ROUND here ... with or without you, now that you've gone insane, which might actually help[3], and, er, spinning, rolling, it's all the same as long as you're DIZZY(!)[3], and YOU(!) ... pop in and pop out of my life, and I'm always alone ... with my elevated mind on the mountain top[3], and spiritual aristocrats don't have it easy, man![3], and

And you two bob ...[1], and here before... oh, YOU(!) pissed it all a-ROUND the corner where we chased the THREE[1], and you two bob ...[2], and what a fucking spinner![1], and here before... oh, YOU(!) pissed it all a-ROUND the corner where we chased the THREE[2], and what a divvy, thinking you're getting something other than a-ROUND here, man[1], and what a fucking spinner![2], and when you wake up in the world's reality ...[1], and what a divvy, thinking you're getting something other than a-ROUND here, man[2], and you're pissing it all a-ROUND my consciousness NOW(!) ... / and I own you, my little spinner(s)[1], and when you wake up in the world's reality ...[2], and the City is hard/fair ...[1], and you're pissing it all a-ROUND my consciousness NOW(!) ... / and I own you, my little spinner(s)[2], and what you prefer, I don't know, there is no other way / and I've heard voices with more ideas than you[1], and the City is hard/fair ...[2], and so DIZZY(!) ... so lie down in your bed with tears coming out of everywhere[1], and what you prefer, I don't know, there is no other way / and I've heard voices with more ideas than you[2], and I know you can't cope[1], and so DIZZY(!) ... so lie down in your bed with tears coming out of everywhere[2], and uh, uh, uh ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, chase the THREE and get off BEYOND(!!!)[1], and I know you can't cope[2], and the clashing/jamming of guitars is what we need to really get us in the mood ...[1], and uh, uh, uh ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, chase the THREE and get off BEYOND(!!!)[2], and here they come![1], and the clashing/jamming of guitars is what we need to really get us in the mood ...[2], and NOW(!!!) you just say ... a jumble of words to me, so confusing / maybe it's my ears ...[1], and here they come![2], and I'm feeling the NOISE[1], and NOW(!!!) you just say ... a jumble of words to me, so confusing / maybe it's my ears ...[2], and I'm, uh, rolling a-ROUND here ... with or without you, now that you've gone insane, which might actually help[1], and I'm feeling the NOISE[2], and, er, spinning, rolling, it's all the same as long as you're DIZZY(!)[1], and I'm, uh, rolling a-ROUND here ... with or without you, now that you've gone insane, which might actually help[2], and YOU(!) ... pop in and pop out of my life, and I'm always alone ... with my elevated mind on the mountain top[1], and, er, spinning, rolling, it's all the same as long as you're DIZZY(!)[2], and spiritual aristocrats don't have it easy, man![1], and YOU(!) ... pop in and pop out of my life, and I'm always alone ... with my elevated mind on the mountain top[2], and you two bob ...[3], and spiritual aristocrats don't have it easy, man![2], and here before... oh, YOU(!) pissed it all a-ROUND the corner where we chased the THREE[3], and what a fucking spinner![3], and what a divvy, thinking you're getting something other than a-ROUND here, man[3], and when you wake up in the world's reality ...[3], and you're pissing it all a-ROUND my consciousness NOW(!) ... / and I own you, my little spinner(s)[3], and the City is hard/fair ...[3], and what you prefer, I don't know, there is no other way / and I've heard voices with more ideas than you[3], and so DIZZY(!) ... so lie down in your bed with tears coming out of everywhere[3], and I know you can't cope[3], and uh, uh, uh ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, chase the THREE and get off BEYOND(!!!)[3], and the clashing/jamming of guitars is what we need to really get us in the mood ...[3], and here they come![3], and NOW(!!!) you just say ... a jumble of words to me, so confusing / maybe it's my ears ...[3], and I'm feeling the NOISE[3], and I'm, uh, rolling a-ROUND here ... with or without you, now that you've gone insane, which might actually help[3], and, er, spinning, rolling, it's all the same as long as you're DIZZY(!)[3], and YOU(!) ... pop in and pop out of my life, and I'm always alone ... with my elevated mind on the mountain top[3], and spiritual aristocrats don't have it easy, man![3], and

Jupiter is launching three new funds this year!

Wow! Three new funds! At least! 'You mean there might be more, boss?' Well, maybe, Voice. What do I know? And how would I know? 'You could look into the future.' Ha! Let's concentrate on what we know RIGHT NOW(!). 'Okay.' The three funds will be: the Asian Income fund, an "international" version of the Absolute Return fund, and a global environmental or ecology fund - as if we need one of those. 'Great!' Yes, and there's more good news. 'What's that?' AUM has gone mental, man! 'Tell us!' £35.7 billion! 'Amazing! They can afford to give you some now.' Oh, in my dreams. / And there's even more good news. 'Christ! This is off the hook, this is! What else?' I wrote the best thirty seconds of music I have yesterday. [Adapted from Sunday, actually.] I mean, my best thirty seconds, you dig? I'm really pleased with it. 'And ... how is this relevant?' Pardon? 'We're talking about finance, Mikey. We're talking about Jupiter Asset Management - or whatever they're called. They have exciting news. New funds, more AUM. But all you can think about is spoiling their big moment.' Well ... I, er - 'Shame on you, man! Shame on you!' Oh, don't be like that! For fuck's sake!

Voice?

...

Voice? / Voice? / Come on, man.

Jesus! Can you believe this guy, dear reader(s)? He's gone! Like he cares about Jupiter or any of these firms. Jupiter could go out of business and Voice wouldn't even notice. Now he's all offended on their behalf. And we always talk about music, anyway. It's practically a music blog these days. What a total prick! What the hell is his problem? 'Ha!' Voice? 'I had you going! Ha, ha, ha!' Oh, you bastard. 'Oh yeah, I'm really upset about Jupiter. New funds, more AUM. Why are you spoiling their big moment? Ha!' You bloody bastard!

What a bastard, eh, reader(s)? / 'Is there anything else, boss?' No, not really. I'll be starting a conceptual after lunch. 'No. 394?' I wouldn't be surprised. Straight after No. 393, like. 'How many more of these things are you going to write?' Well, there's still such a strong demand for them. I can't make them fast enough. However, I really want to cut down to one a week, which I will soon. 'That may upset a few characters, Mikey.' Well, being a leader, a top shaman, is about making the tough decisions, man.