Wednesday, 2 March 2016

New embargo same as the old embargo

Yes, it's, er ... the Wednesday night PR email, back by popular demand. But, however, alas ... I can't tell you anything about it, the story. The exciting story. 'Why not, boss?' Because there's an embargo, Voice. 'That was the old embargo, man.' Yes. And this is the new embargo. 'Are you sure?!' Not really, son, but it's all so confusing.

I'm not a journalist. I don't understand embargo this and embargo that. Old and new. What does it all mean? 'It says here seven in the morning.' That's the old embargo. 'No, boss. I think you're getting confused. It's the new embargo.' Yes, I'm confused. Listen, I don't want to get into trouble, you dig? 'Of course not.' Imagine if I wrote about something that wasn't allowed by the powers that be. 'Powers that ... er ...' PR powers, Voice. 'Okay. Are they powerful then?' Oh, definitely. Big time! If they weren't powerful they wouldn't be going in for all this embargo nonsense, would they? I mean, that's logic. 'I suppose.' I just don't want to mess with them. I value my health. I don't want to get my head kicked in or anything.

So, to be on the safe side, I will never write about this story. 'That's a bit extreme!' No, safety first, man. 'But the people will never know now. Think of your readers.' My readers can look after themselves. 'What about tomorrow? I'm sure it will be all right tomorrow.' No! Never, never, never, never, never, never!