Well, well ... / It's pretty strange, really. Why would Ian leave? Why - 'He has left! Why did Ian leave? - is the question, boss.' Shut up, you idiot! Why would anyone leave Aviva Investors? That's the question, man! 'Maybe Mr Aylward wanted to do some work for a change. Maybe he got sick of the lifestyle.' Yes, maybe. I don't know. He was supposed to be head of multi-manager research at Aviva Investors, but ... 'Yeah.' I don't need to say any more, do I?
Christ knows what he's going to do now though. I've been looking at his LinkedIn profile. He has a strange name. 'Ian Aylward sounds all right to me.' I mean his full name: Ian Aylward Asip Caia. 'Ha! God!' You see what I mean? 'That is bloody strange, boss. Is it a mystic name?' Well, I'm thinking he's probably Ian Aylward at work, and then Asip Caia on the astral plane. 'Oh, clever.' Very clever. 'Even though you've banned the astral plane?' Eh?! Asip can still go for recreational and spiritual development purposes, Voice. Just not for finance bollocks, that's all. 'Okay. / I reckon he should stick with the second name all the time, and dump the "Ian Aylward".' Well, we don't know what he's going to do next. He could be "Asip Caia" ... if he got a job in one of those occult shops that sell candles and incense and tarot cards and pathworking CDs and all the other shit. 'He hasn't updated his LinkedIn profile yet.' Interesting. We should keep an eye on it, then. In a week or two it will probably say: Shop Assistant at Mysteries. Something like that.
...
Anything else? No. Nothing else. Unless you want me to write about music. 'Politics?' Piss off! 'Sorry.' / I'm listening to Billy Idol, for a change. Greatest Hits. He has some good songs. Eyes Without a Face is his best, I reckon. / My music? I ain't writing about my music for a while. 'Yeah, give it a rest.' But I'm mentally preparing myself to finish my best song. 'Oh, Christ! How?' By doing that "Beethoven" thing I wrote about a few weeks ago. You know, how I imagine he felt after his Seventh and before his Ninth. / Anyway, laters, yeah?
Christ knows what he's going to do now though. I've been looking at his LinkedIn profile. He has a strange name. 'Ian Aylward sounds all right to me.' I mean his full name: Ian Aylward Asip Caia. 'Ha! God!' You see what I mean? 'That is bloody strange, boss. Is it a mystic name?' Well, I'm thinking he's probably Ian Aylward at work, and then Asip Caia on the astral plane. 'Oh, clever.' Very clever. 'Even though you've banned the astral plane?' Eh?! Asip can still go for recreational and spiritual development purposes, Voice. Just not for finance bollocks, that's all. 'Okay. / I reckon he should stick with the second name all the time, and dump the "Ian Aylward".' Well, we don't know what he's going to do next. He could be "Asip Caia" ... if he got a job in one of those occult shops that sell candles and incense and tarot cards and pathworking CDs and all the other shit. 'He hasn't updated his LinkedIn profile yet.' Interesting. We should keep an eye on it, then. In a week or two it will probably say: Shop Assistant at Mysteries. Something like that.
...
Anything else? No. Nothing else. Unless you want me to write about music. 'Politics?' Piss off! 'Sorry.' / I'm listening to Billy Idol, for a change. Greatest Hits. He has some good songs. Eyes Without a Face is his best, I reckon. / My music? I ain't writing about my music for a while. 'Yeah, give it a rest.' But I'm mentally preparing myself to finish my best song. 'Oh, Christ! How?' By doing that "Beethoven" thing I wrote about a few weeks ago. You know, how I imagine he felt after his Seventh and before his Ninth. / Anyway, laters, yeah?
