Thursday, 31 March 2016

Oh God! Who is Luke Taylor now?

I'm worn out with all these finance people, man. At least it's the end of the week. / Yes, dear reader(s), it's the Thursday night PR email, back by popular demand. Luke Taylor is some new associate at Turquoise International. 'Turquoise International, boss?' Yeah.

Turquoise International, the city-based merchant bank, founded by David Icke, specialising in crystal energy, environment and efficiency, has appointed Luke Taylor as an associate.

'Oh, I see.' I'm glad you see.

Cambridge University graduate Taylor, who has worked in finance since 2011, joins from Cosmicsource Crystal Energy, where he worked as part of the structured finance team on a number of mad projects, uh, financing deals as well as refinancing transactions. Before this, Taylor worked for Chaos in financial modelling and auditing models for a range of projects, including Public Private Partnerships.

'Oh, I see. Chaos magic, I presume.' Yeah.  / Yeah, it's all pretty standard mystical stuff. And David Icke will expect Luke Taylor to wear a turquoise tracksuit. 'Really?' It shouldn't be a problem, Voice. It's the uniform, anyway.

...

Ah, that's enough. I've done my good deed for the day. These PR firms couldn't survive without me. 'Ha!' Ha!

Anything else? No. Laters. Much laters. I mean, next week, yeah?