Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Martin Sorrell gets a £62 million bonus!

Well, well ... / I find this is a little confusing, actually. 'Why, boss?' Why?! Voice, I swear I saw Martin Sorrell on the TV the other day saying how much we've all suffered during austerity. 'Oh.' Yes, I'm sure he said: We've had it hard. Something like that, you know? 'Maybe he was referring to his sex life.' Don't be ridiculous, man! No, he was definitely talking about austerity. Everyone has suffered. We're all in this together.

[From an old post - We all know how little time I have for Martin Sorrell. (Well, I know, obviously. How could I not know?) I have no time for Martin Sorrell. And I'm not calling him "Sir". I don't care how many queens he's friendly with. / Ha!]

I, er ... 'Boss, he's the boss of WPP, ain't he?' So? 'Well, it explains why he got such a big bonus. It's only natural.' Oh, I see. Oh, I understand now. When Marty was saying we've all suffered, he meant: You've all suffered. Tough luck, losers! 'I doubt he has that attitude, man.' No?

Christ! Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's fair. Maybe he deserves the money. I wonder though if they could get someone else to do exactly the same job just as well for a £10 million bonus. '£10 million is still a lot of money.' Yes, it is. I reckon you could get a very good chief executive for that money. And then the rest of the money, the £52 million, could be given to a homeless charity, maybe. 'Or to you.' Yes, or to me. I've suffered enough. More than enough! I think I deserve it. I've never gone hungry or anything, but - 'Your sufferings have all been spiritual, Mikey, in your soul. Alone on that fucking mountain top, just like Zarathustra!' Yes, thank you, Voice. / Dear reader(s), as a spiritual aristocrat, I have suffered a hell of a lot. £52 million would be lovely!


Ha! 'Ha!' Ha! / Uh, it's all a fantasy. Never mind. What else? Anything else?