Thursday 21 May 2009

Xavier Rolet: 'I can feel the beat of what's going on'

What's going on, eh? As the great Marvin Gaye once sang. What's going on? Well, Xavier Rolet, the new chief executive of the London Stock Exchange, knows what's going on. He can feel the friggin' beat of it, I shit you not.

I have been speaking to Mr Rolet, and this is what the mystic joker told me: 'Mikey, man, these are exciting times. Can you feel the beat of the cosmos banging in your head, shaking your teeth to fuck? (I can, Xavier. I can.) Well, that's what’s going on, man. The whole cosmos is getting ready to go crazy for money, man. There is everything to play for. And you know me, Mike. I love to love, but my baby just loves to dance. (Tell me more, Xavier, man.) Well, get this, I was freaking out like a nut on the astral plane the other night, a few minutes before midnight, and I was loving it, man. I was in touch with such spirits as I never knew existed. (Beings from other realms, like?) Fuckin' A! Mike! (Well, astral realms, of course. What am I saying?) Yeah. And I saw my baby dancing in an astral waste land. (No!) Oh yes. Frisch weht der wind, der heimat zu, mein Irisch kind, wo weilest du? You dig, man? (Oh man, I dig!) And that was enough for me, man. (It would be enough for anyone, Xavier.) Damn straight.'

Wow! The London Stock Exchange is in safe hands now. You better believe it, baby. Keep on dancing!

I was dancing when I was eight. Is it strange to dance so late? I danced myself into the tomb. Is it strange to dance so soon?

No, it's perfectly normal. I wouldn't worry about it.