Monday 29 June 2015

What's been happening in the financial world? Anything exciting?

Haven't they solved the problem of Greece yet, dear reader(s)? (I've been away for a week, as you know.) Christ! How much time do they need? 'Things have got worse, boss.' Really? Dear oh dear! 'All the banks are shut, and there's no money left.'

Well, well ... / There is no way Greece will ever be able to repay its debts. 'So ... ?' So, just let it keep the money. 'What?! And what about the other countries, man, like Portugal and Ireland?' Er ... let them keep the money, too, Voice.

I've been working on this solution: Let everyone in the world keep all the money they owe! 'What about America?' Yes, America, as well. America owes more than anyone. Trillions! But who cares? We need to start again. We need to return to living in huts and caves.

It came to me in Cornwall. / I was trying to become one with Nature, you know? But it was difficult. Every time I looked around me it was like I was staring at a postcard. It didn't feel real, you dig? 'Damn!' However, one afternoon I was a bit tired so I sat down on the grass in a place they call The Island and I closed my eyes and I had a mystical experience, of sorts. 'Really, boss?' Believe! I was half-asleep, yeah? I was aware of the warmth of the sun, and the wind that was blowing a-ROUND(!) me. But that's all. Everything else was gone. (Even my mind.) It was like being in a hot tornado.

Anyway, after about fifteen minutes, I "woke up" and said to myself: Mikey, there is nothing to worry about, son. 'Brilliant!' All my stress had gone, too.

So, that's what the Greek people need to do, man. 'A hot tornado! One with Nature, with a clear head!' Yes. The creditors can whistle for their fucking money!

...


Anything else? Hedge funds opening, closing? Oh, wait until tomorrow, reader(s). I'm sure there'll be something. 'There always is.'

Lunch? Cheese and onion pasty, er, no, egg sandwich. 'Ha!' I forgot where I was for a minute ...