Monday 11 September 2017

Diameter Capital has got its hands on $1 billion!

If a hedge fund can have hands, of course. 'It can't, boss.' What, Voice? 'Bloody hell! We've been through all this before. Companies don't have hands. It's not possible.' It's just an expression, you idiot! I mean to say that Diameter Capital has raised $1 billion for a corporate debt fund ... or something. 'Oh, right.' Yes. Junk bonds and that. 'Nice. I hope they do well with it.' Yes, but ... unfortunately, that's all anyone knows about the company. They seem to be a bit of a mystery. 'Ha! You mean you don't know anything about them.' Okay, okay. Well, listen ... I know that Scott Goodwin and Jonathan Lewinsohn are mixed up in it. 'Who?! Who on earth are they?' Oh, just finance guys, son. No surprises. What do you expect?

Jesus H. Christ! Dear reader(s), what do you expect? Tell me! Finance guys launching a new fund. It happens all the time. Life goes on, you dig? 'For now.' For now. But maybe one day the ants will take over. 'Ants?' Or maybe lizards. I don't know. Probably lizards. And they won't have hedge funds. They won't have anything much. 'Unless the dolphins take over, boss.' They won't have much of anything either, Voice. 'What about the robots?' Well, that could be a different matter. We don't know what they’re planning. 'They've already got hedge funds.' Yeah, sort of.

Uh. Actually ... I'm rather hoping the dolphins take over. Those guys are cool, man. 'Big time.' Can you imagine them voting for Brexit or Trump? 'Ha!' It just wouldn't happen. They've got too much class.

...

Anything else? Well, it's Monday morning, and summer is over. 'It's been over for months, boss.' I know. It's going to be hard to motivate myself now. The nights are getting darker sooner. Or sooner darker. No, darker sooner. / I suppose it's all right for the Aviva Investors crowd. 'What's been going on with that lot lately?' I have no idea, Voice. I haven't been following any news on them. But you can be sure they're going to be in the pub, oblivious to absolutely EVERYTHING. 'Lucky sods!' They probably won't even notice Brexit. Those poor Schroders mugs will. But not the boys and girls at Aviva Investors. Talk about a charmed life!

Anyway, I'll be doing a conceptual later, for my sins. No. 544. It's the only way I can stay sane these days. Or insane. It all depends on how you look at it. / Laters!