City Financial has sold Leigh Himsworth to Fidelity

Yeah, City Financial doesn't want Leigh Himsworth no more. They thought he was going to be a god or something. Maybe a master of reality. (I think Eden gave them the wrong idea.) But he's just a normal human being, like so many other people working in finance these days. Never mind. So, Fidelity owns him now. Not that you would know from reading Leigh's LinkedIn profile. The crazy cat hasn't updated it!

Well, well ... / No one knows what kind of fund Leigh will be managing at Fidelity. It's a bit of a mystery. I've phoned around. No one is saying anything, much. Out of fear? I don't know. / I actually like Leigh. He's a good guy. He has a nice friendly face - which is rare in finance these days, even with the normals. If he's in trouble, I hope he can get to a phone. I've told my intern I'll drop everything when the call comes. ('Eh?' Shut it!) I've got my razor ready ...

...

That's it. Nothing else is happening at the moment, I'm afraid. / The scene is dead. It's summertime, you see. The livin' is easy. Fish are jumpin'. Don't blame me. Hush!

...

I can't record in this heat ... / I should have finished my demo before summer. Alas, my guitar skills weren't up to scratch. Not sure they are now. However, I'm getting better, man. But it takes months. It's no use doing seven or eight hours practice in a day and expecting results. You have to do steady practice, two, three, four hours a day, every day.

John Coltrane use to play his sax all the time. (I can't do that. Other commitments.) Once, his wife was in the kitchen and suddenly the saxophone stopped. Shocked, she went into the living room to find out what the matter was. Coltrane had fallen asleep with the sax still in his mouth. / I hope that's a true story because I dig it, you dig?

I don't have any hope for this country

Or any country in the Western world. Or any country in the world, in fact ... / Last night I watched that tough guy from EastEnders with the street gangs of Belize. And now I've just read this. The shit Paul Mason has written about will never be sorted out. There is no way that millions of permanent, secure, well-paid new jobs are going to be created. (He's talking about the young, but it applies to everybody.) Our only hope - or my only hope, at any rate - is the old Bill Hicks' joke about being abducted by aliens. Aliens, abduct me!

Yeah ... / I've always envied Richard Dreyfuss at the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. You can just tell those friendly little aliens are going to look after him. No work, no bills, no taxes, no insurance - no hassles! Just flying around the universe in a big fuck-off spaceship. Who wouldn't want that?

...

And that's what Malibu is to me, you know? A big fuck-off spaceship with a beach attached. My chances of ending up there are probably about the same as my chances of a real spaceship picking me up. But you've got to have a dream, ain't ya? Not everyone can be saved. / A few people can be saved though. Maybe you need luck, I don't know. I think you probably need to be a fanatic, like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I've just read his autobiography. The way he arrived in America, not even being able to speak English, and went from champion bodybuilder to film star to Governor of California is just amazing. He really had the mentality of a terminator. You have to forget fear, almost forget you're human. You have to focus on your goal, a big goal, and go after it, never stopping for anything. Or wait for some friendly aliens to take an interest in you. Those are the two choices. But there is absolutely no future in a normal life. A life where you go to work, pay the bills (if you can), vote for scumbags, walk the dog, eat your dinner, watch TV, and wait for death ...

I missed the Delivering Alpha conference!

Damn! / It was in New York though. A bit difficult for me to get to. It sounds like everyone had a really wild time. Carl Icahn and William Ackman were hugging and kissing. 'What?!' Yeah. They had a bust-up some time ago. Now they're friends again. 'Friends, boss?' Yeah, friends, Voice. It's all above board.

Apparently, all kinds of finance superstars were at this conference. Except me, of course. Do they have it every year? It's run by CNBC. Maybe I'll go next year - if they pay my airfare. 'Are they likely to do that, Mikey?' Well, I am the world's foremost financial shaman. 'Yeah. Why didn't they fly you over this time?' I don't know, man. What's with all the questions?

The fact is, they know I'm busy with my music right now. I doubt they wanted to bother me. 'Yeah, that's it, boss. They know how much trouble you're having recording those songs of yours. They know you can't play the guitar, so -' Will you shut up?! I can play the guitar, for your information, Voice. I'm just perfecting my technique ...

Anyway, I reckon I will get a Telecaster. My finances are a bit dodgy at the moment, but I should be able to manage it. I'll get the cheapest Squier one. But it looks nice. Cream and white. / Twenty-five years ago, I had a Fender Squier Stratocaster. That was white as well. I wish I had bothered to learn lead guitar in those days. Regrets? I have a few ... However, I'm not Sinatra.

[No. 234] Let's get Andy out of Stratton Street Capital for good!

The Main Andy.

And surely they can cope?[1], and maybe we'll get Andy GONE a-ROUND beyond the THREE / then no one will ever see him again[1], and surely they can cope?[2], and if you're retiring, you've got to go away ... there's another life, and I ain't talking about the Aviva Investors ice cream and lager scene[1], and maybe we'll get Andy GONE a-ROUND beyond the THREE / then no one will ever see him again[2], and YES(!) ... maybe we'll get Andy to touch the sun![1], and if you're retiring, you've got to go away ... there's another life, and I ain't talking about the Aviva Investors ice cream and lager scene[2], and where is Andy? In the office? On the golf course? NO!!![1], and YES(!) ... maybe we'll get Andy to touch the sun![2], and here he is ... DIZZY as a mofo not knowing what's going on - oh, look, pink elephants![1], and where is Andy? In the office? On the golf course? NO!!![2], and what a surprise![1], and here he is ... DIZZY as a mofo not knowing what's going on - oh, look, pink elephants![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and ... how many for the road? / It doesn't matter![1], and what a surprise![2], and ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and ... how many for the road? / It doesn't matter![2], and NOTHING MATTERS ... when you think about it ... or even when you don't think about it[1], and ...[2], and / ... I know that Andy hasn't opened himself up yet ... but he's here now ... so let's make the most of it![1], and NOTHING MATTERS ... when you think about it ... or even when you don't think about it[2], and I'm staying positive, as always[1], and / ... I know that Andy hasn't opened himself up yet ... but he's here now ... so let's make the most of it![2], and surely they can cope?[3], and I'm staying positive, as always[2], and maybe we'll get Andy GONE a-ROUND beyond the THREE / then no one will ever see him again[3], and if you're retiring, you've got to go away ... there's another life, and I ain't talking about the Aviva Investors ice cream and lager scene[3], and YES(!) ... maybe we'll get Andy to touch the sun![3], and where is Andy? In the office? On the golf course? NO!!![3], and here he is ... DIZZY as a mofo not knowing what's going on - oh, look, pink elephants![3], and what a surprise![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and ... how many for the road? / It doesn't matter![3], and ...[3], and NOTHING MATTERS ... when you think about it ... or even when you don't think about it[3], and / ... I know that Andy hasn't opened himself up yet ... but he's here now ... so let's make the most of it![3], and I'm staying positive, as always[3], and

And surely they can cope?[1], and maybe we'll get Andy GONE a-ROUND beyond the THREE / then no one will ever see him again[1], and surely they can cope?[2], and if you're retiring, you've got to go away ... there's another life, and I ain't talking about the Aviva Investors ice cream and lager scene[1], and maybe we'll get Andy GONE a-ROUND beyond the THREE / then no one will ever see him again[2], and YES(!) ... maybe we'll get Andy to touch the sun![1], and if you're retiring, you've got to go away ... there's another life, and I ain't talking about the Aviva Investors ice cream and lager scene[2], and where is Andy? In the office? On the golf course? NO!!![1], and YES(!) ... maybe we'll get Andy to touch the sun![2], and here he is ... DIZZY as a mofo not knowing what's going on - oh, look, pink elephants![1], and where is Andy? In the office? On the golf course? NO!!![2], and what a surprise![1], and here he is ... DIZZY as a mofo not knowing what's going on - oh, look, pink elephants![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and ... how many for the road? / It doesn't matter![1], and what a surprise![2], and ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and ... how many for the road? / It doesn't matter![2], and NOTHING MATTERS ... when you think about it ... or even when you don't think about it[1], and ...[2], and / ... I know that Andy hasn't opened himself up yet ... but he's here now ... so let's make the most of it![1], and NOTHING MATTERS ... when you think about it ... or even when you don't think about it[2], and I'm staying positive, as always[1], and / ... I know that Andy hasn't opened himself up yet ... but he's here now ... so let's make the most of it![2], and surely they can cope?[3], and I'm staying positive, as always[2], and maybe we'll get Andy GONE a-ROUND beyond the THREE / then no one will ever see him again[3], and if you're retiring, you've got to go away ... there's another life, and I ain't talking about the Aviva Investors ice cream and lager scene[3], and YES(!) ... maybe we'll get Andy to touch the sun![3], and where is Andy? In the office? On the golf course? NO!!![3], and here he is ... DIZZY as a mofo not knowing what's going on - oh, look, pink elephants![3], and what a surprise![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and ... how many for the road? / It doesn't matter![3], and ...[3], and NOTHING MATTERS ... when you think about it ... or even when you don't think about it[3], and / ... I know that Andy hasn't opened himself up yet ... but he's here now ... so let's make the most of it![3], and I'm staying positive, as always[3], and

And surely they can cope?[1], and maybe we'll get Andy GONE a-ROUND beyond the THREE / then no one will ever see him again[1], and surely they can cope?[2], and if you're retiring, you've got to go away ... there's another life, and I ain't talking about the Aviva Investors ice cream and lager scene[1], and maybe we'll get Andy GONE a-ROUND beyond the THREE / then no one will ever see him again[2], and YES(!) ... maybe we'll get Andy to touch the sun![1], and if you're retiring, you've got to go away ... there's another life, and I ain't talking about the Aviva Investors ice cream and lager scene[2], and where is Andy? In the office? On the golf course? NO!!![1], and YES(!) ... maybe we'll get Andy to touch the sun![2], and here he is ... DIZZY as a mofo not knowing what's going on - oh, look, pink elephants![1], and where is Andy? In the office? On the golf course? NO!!![2], and what a surprise![1], and here he is ... DIZZY as a mofo not knowing what's going on - oh, look, pink elephants![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and ... how many for the road? / It doesn't matter![1], and what a surprise![2], and ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and ... how many for the road? / It doesn't matter![2], and NOTHING MATTERS ... when you think about it ... or even when you don't think about it[1], and ...[2], and / ... I know that Andy hasn't opened himself up yet ... but he's here now ... so let's make the most of it![1], and NOTHING MATTERS ... when you think about it ... or even when you don't think about it[2], and I'm staying positive, as always[1], and / ... I know that Andy hasn't opened himself up yet ... but he's here now ... so let's make the most of it![2], and surely they can cope?[3], and I'm staying positive, as always[2], and maybe we'll get Andy GONE a-ROUND beyond the THREE / then no one will ever see him again[3], and if you're retiring, you've got to go away ... there's another life, and I ain't talking about the Aviva Investors ice cream and lager scene[3], and YES(!) ... maybe we'll get Andy to touch the sun![3], and where is Andy? In the office? On the golf course? NO!!![3], and here he is ... DIZZY as a mofo not knowing what's going on - oh, look, pink elephants![3], and what a surprise![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and ... how many for the road? / It doesn't matter![3], and ...[3], and NOTHING MATTERS ... when you think about it ... or even when you don't think about it[3], and / ... I know that Andy hasn't opened himself up yet ... but he's here now ... so let's make the most of it![3], and I'm staying positive, as always[3], and

Andrew Main can't leave it alone

Finance, I mean. / Andy is supposed to be retiring from Stratton Street Capital. (He's one of the four founders, apparently.) Instead, he's staying on as a "consultant". I suppose he thinks it means he'll be working part-time, but you know how these things go, dear reader(s). He'll be in the office one morning, "consulting", then someone will ask him to stay for a few hours in the afternoon because of some bullshit emergency. (As if!) Andy will have to cancel golf with his friends. He'll stay for the afternoon, then into the evening. He'll probably leave around midnight. 'Ha!' And you can be sure that they'll ask him to be in again at 5.00am. And that will happen every day!

Retiring, ha! / Andy, mate, if you want to retire, you've got to do it properly. Walk away from those squares at Stratton Street, and tell them they'll never see your face again. Spell it out to them! Make them understand, man! Mark, Trevor and that other Andy will take advantage of you otherwise. 'They'll take the piss, boss.' Of course they will, Voice! / There ain't no such things as halfway crooks. You either in, Andy, or you're out.

[And the crook thing? Don't get upset, bruv. It's just a rap saying. 2Pac and all that? Never mind.]

...

Reader(s) ...

Lunch? Oh, I don't know. Cheese sandwich. Crisps. Yoghurt. Pepsi. Why are you so obsessed, dear reader(s), with what I have for lunch? Maybe you should get a life, yeah?

[I prefer Coke, as you know. The Pepsi was on special offer though. Six cans for £1.70.]

After lunch? Well ... I'll probably take Andy Main for a spin, No. 234. See if I can spin some sense into him.

I'm not getting my hopes up.

[No. 233] No changes!

I'm talking eternity. And living it! And loving it!

And this is the way you keep CONTROL / you get a-ROUND, one, two, three / it's so easy[1], and people lose their minds trying to change shit thinking they can feel different in the dirt[1], and this is the way you keep CONTROL / you get a-ROUND, one, two, three / it's so easy[2], and there aren't any changes that can change anything ...[1], and people lose their minds trying to change shit thinking they can feel different in the dirt[2], and YOU(!) ... might panic, oh ...[1], and there aren't any changes that can change anything ...[2], and I'm saying: NO! ... STAY CALM(!) ... stop your nonsense, roll on the floor, or on the ceiling, a-ROUND ...[1], and YOU(!) ... might panic, oh ...[2], and the beauty of No. 233? ... It's the beauty of any number![1], and I'm saying: NO! ... STAY CALM(!) ... stop your nonsense, roll on the floor, or on the ceiling, a-ROUND ...[2], and / COME ON IN! ... get fixed, man, forever, free of charge ... while stocks last, ha![1], and the beauty of No. 233? ... It's the beauty of any number![2], and I'll be your guru ... if you're lost and lonely[1], and / COME ON IN! ... get fixed, man, forever, free of charge ... while stocks last, ha![2], and / the confused and weak are very welcome / the more the merrier![1], and I'll be your guru ... if you're lost and lonely[2], and there's nothing new under the sun - or something ... Who said that?[1], and / the confused and weak are very welcome / the more the merrier![2], and maybe ... if we could only touch the sun ... / Oh, that would make all the difference! - ?[1], and there's nothing new under the sun - or something ... Who said that?[2], and I'm not getting my hopes up[1], and maybe ... if we could only touch the sun ... / Oh, that would make all the difference! - ?[2], and / what do YOU(!) actually want, man?![1], and I'm not getting my hopes up[2], and  ... a Telecaster? / Would I feel better?[1], and / what do YOU(!) actually want, man?![2], and you've got to have a dream! / My dream is to stay here forever ... DIZZY as a motherfucker[1], and  ... a Telecaster? / Would I feel better?[2], and here ... I am, NOW and forever ...[1], and you've got to have a dream! / My dream is to stay here forever ... DIZZY as a motherfucker[2], and this is the way you keep CONTROL / you get a-ROUND, one, two, three / it's so easy[3], and here ... I am, NOW and forever ...[2], and people lose their minds trying to change shit thinking they can feel different in the dirt[3], and there aren't any changes that can change anything ...[3], and YOU(!) ... might panic, oh ...[3], and I'm saying: NO! ... STAY CALM(!) ... stop your nonsense, roll on the floor, or on the ceiling, a-ROUND ...[3], and the beauty of No. 233? ... It's the beauty of any number![3], and / COME ON IN! ... get fixed, man, forever, free of charge ... while stocks last, ha![3], and I'll be your guru ... if you're lost and lonely[3], and / the confused and weak are very welcome / the more the merrier![3], and there's nothing new under the sun - or something ... Who said that?[3], and maybe ... if we could only touch the sun ... / Oh, that would make all the difference! - ?[3], and I'm not getting my hopes up[3], and / what do YOU(!) actually want, man?![3], and  ... a Telecaster? / Would I feel better?[3], and you've got to have a dream! / My dream is to stay here forever ... DIZZY as a motherfucker[3], and here ... I am, NOW and forever ...[3], and

And this is the way you keep CONTROL / you get a-ROUND, one, two, three / it's so easy[1], and people lose their minds trying to change shit thinking they can feel different in the dirt[1], and this is the way you keep CONTROL / you get a-ROUND, one, two, three / it's so easy[2], and there aren't any changes that can change anything ...[1], and people lose their minds trying to change shit thinking they can feel different in the dirt[2], and YOU(!) ... might panic, oh ...[1], and there aren't any changes that can change anything ...[2], and I'm saying: NO! ... STAY CALM(!) ... stop your nonsense, roll on the floor, or on the ceiling, a-ROUND ...[1], and YOU(!) ... might panic, oh ...[2], and the beauty of No. 233? ... It's the beauty of any number![1], and I'm saying: NO! ... STAY CALM(!) ... stop your nonsense, roll on the floor, or on the ceiling, a-ROUND ...[2], and / COME ON IN! ... get fixed, man, forever, free of charge ... while stocks last, ha![1], and the beauty of No. 233? ... It's the beauty of any number![2], and I'll be your guru ... if you're lost and lonely[1], and / COME ON IN! ... get fixed, man, forever, free of charge ... while stocks last, ha![2], and / the confused and weak are very welcome / the more the merrier![1], and I'll be your guru ... if you're lost and lonely[2], and there's nothing new under the sun - or something ... Who said that?[1], and / the confused and weak are very welcome / the more the merrier![2], and maybe ... if we could only touch the sun ... / Oh, that would make all the difference! - ?[1], and there's nothing new under the sun - or something ... Who said that?[2], and I'm not getting my hopes up[1], and maybe ... if we could only touch the sun ... / Oh, that would make all the difference! - ?[2], and / what do YOU(!) actually want, man?![1], and I'm not getting my hopes up[2], and  ... a Telecaster? / Would I feel better?[1], and / what do YOU(!) actually want, man?![2], and you've got to have a dream! / My dream is to stay here forever ... DIZZY as a motherfucker[1], and  ... a Telecaster? / Would I feel better?[2], and here ... I am, NOW and forever ...[1], and you've got to have a dream! / My dream is to stay here forever ... DIZZY as a motherfucker[2], and this is the way you keep CONTROL / you get a-ROUND, one, two, three / it's so easy[3], and here ... I am, NOW and forever ...[2], and people lose their minds trying to change shit thinking they can feel different in the dirt[3], and there aren't any changes that can change anything ...[3], and YOU(!) ... might panic, oh ...[3], and I'm saying: NO! ... STAY CALM(!) ... stop your nonsense, roll on the floor, or on the ceiling, a-ROUND ...[3], and the beauty of No. 233? ... It's the beauty of any number![3], and / COME ON IN! ... get fixed, man, forever, free of charge ... while stocks last, ha![3], and I'll be your guru ... if you're lost and lonely[3], and / the confused and weak are very welcome / the more the merrier![3], and there's nothing new under the sun - or something ... Who said that?[3], and maybe ... if we could only touch the sun ... / Oh, that would make all the difference! - ?[3], and I'm not getting my hopes up[3], and / what do YOU(!) actually want, man?![3], and  ... a Telecaster? / Would I feel better?[3], and you've got to have a dream! / My dream is to stay here forever ... DIZZY as a motherfucker[3], and here ... I am, NOW and forever ...[3], and

And this is the way you keep CONTROL / you get a-ROUND, one, two, three / it's so easy[1], and people lose their minds trying to change shit thinking they can feel different in the dirt[1], and this is the way you keep CONTROL / you get a-ROUND, one, two, three / it's so easy[2], and there aren't any changes that can change anything ...[1], and people lose their minds trying to change shit thinking they can feel different in the dirt[2], and YOU(!) ... might panic, oh ...[1], and there aren't any changes that can change anything ...[2], and I'm saying: NO! ... STAY CALM(!) ... stop your nonsense, roll on the floor, or on the ceiling, a-ROUND ...[1], and YOU(!) ... might panic, oh ...[2], and the beauty of No. 233? ... It's the beauty of any number![1], and I'm saying: NO! ... STAY CALM(!) ... stop your nonsense, roll on the floor, or on the ceiling, a-ROUND ...[2], and / COME ON IN! ... get fixed, man, forever, free of charge ... while stocks last, ha![1], and the beauty of No. 233? ... It's the beauty of any number![2], and I'll be your guru ... if you're lost and lonely[1], and / COME ON IN! ... get fixed, man, forever, free of charge ... while stocks last, ha![2], and / the confused and weak are very welcome / the more the merrier![1], and I'll be your guru ... if you're lost and lonely[2], and there's nothing new under the sun - or something ... Who said that?[1], and / the confused and weak are very welcome / the more the merrier![2], and maybe ... if we could only touch the sun ... / Oh, that would make all the difference! - ?[1], and there's nothing new under the sun - or something ... Who said that?[2], and I'm not getting my hopes up[1], and maybe ... if we could only touch the sun ... / Oh, that would make all the difference! - ?[2], and / what do YOU(!) actually want, man?![1], and I'm not getting my hopes up[2], and  ... a Telecaster? / Would I feel better?[1], and / what do YOU(!) actually want, man?![2], and you've got to have a dream! / My dream is to stay here forever ... DIZZY as a motherfucker[1], and  ... a Telecaster? / Would I feel better?[2], and here ... I am, NOW and forever ...[1], and you've got to have a dream! / My dream is to stay here forever ... DIZZY as a motherfucker[2], and this is the way you keep CONTROL / you get a-ROUND, one, two, three / it's so easy[3], and here ... I am, NOW and forever ...[2], and people lose their minds trying to change shit thinking they can feel different in the dirt[3], and there aren't any changes that can change anything ...[3], and YOU(!) ... might panic, oh ...[3], and I'm saying: NO! ... STAY CALM(!) ... stop your nonsense, roll on the floor, or on the ceiling, a-ROUND ...[3], and the beauty of No. 233? ... It's the beauty of any number![3], and / COME ON IN! ... get fixed, man, forever, free of charge ... while stocks last, ha![3], and I'll be your guru ... if you're lost and lonely[3], and / the confused and weak are very welcome / the more the merrier![3], and there's nothing new under the sun - or something ... Who said that?[3], and maybe ... if we could only touch the sun ... / Oh, that would make all the difference! - ?[3], and I'm not getting my hopes up[3], and / what do YOU(!) actually want, man?![3], and  ... a Telecaster? / Would I feel better?[3], and you've got to have a dream! / My dream is to stay here forever ... DIZZY as a motherfucker[3], and here ... I am, NOW and forever ...[3], and

Everything stays the same, forever, at BlackGold Capital Management

Well, thank God for that! I hate change. It's nice to see a hedge fund finally come out and say: Everything stays the same, forever. We're frozen. You're frozen. The world is frozen. It's business as usual. We piss on change. Dizzy souls a-ROUND approaching the THREE but never ever getting past it? That's us! And it's you!

BlackGold Capital Management? Well, well ... er, BlackGold is a "private" manager of credit instruments and was founded in 2006 by Erik Dybesland and Adam Flikerski. Yeah, believe. These guys first joined together in the late 1990s to research bank loans, high yield bonds, stressed/distressed debt, convertible debt, preferred equity, and common equity within the energy industry. (They didn't have anything better to do.) BlackGold is dedicated to achieving consistent volatility-adjusted performance, coupled with low correlation to commodity prices and the broader markets. Not bad, eh?

Oh, and it's in America, in Houston, in Texas.

...

And I'm all inspired now! / After lunch, I'll be getting a-ROUND, No. 233, my head bursting with new ideas about how nothing ever changes. 'Except the new ideas, boss.' Shut up, idiot! I'm sure they'll be old ideas.

...

Music? Yeah, man, I've got to get a Telecaster. I think I have a natural talent for lead guitar. I'm making a lot of progress on my acoustic, but electric guitars are easier to play - and more frets are available to your fingers. / I've found a cool but cheap amplifier for it as well. The Behringer GM108. I've checked it out on YouTube. It sounds great! And it has some built-in effects, so I won't need pedals.

...

Lunch? Well ... a "luxury" egg sandwich. (And crisps, yoghurt, Pepsi.) / I should be more careful with my money. I just couldn't resist this morning when I saw the beautiful sandwich in Tesco. However, we all need a bit of luxury every now and then, don't we?

Who the hell is Carl Harald Janson?!

I have no idea who he is, this Carl. I really don't. However, Fundweb has his diary for some reason. (I think they stole it from his bedroom.) Totally bizarre! I mean, why do we need to know what this Carl Harald Janson character had for breakfast, or lunch?

Well, well ... / Yeah, Carl manages the International Biotechnology Trust. (I've been looking at his LinkedIn profile, for my sins.) He works at SV Life Sciences Managers. 'Never heard of it, boss.' That makes two of us, Voice.

Fundweb. / According to his diary, Carl starts his week in Stockholm. (Of all places!) But he doesn't feel it. 'Christ!' He doesn't know where he is. He could be on the moon!

By the end of a typical Monday Carl's on a plane to London. But he could be going anywhere. He doesn't care. 'He's so out of it, man!' Yeah. / Should we pity him or envy him?

The other days? He likes to meet investors! So what? Do we need to know this? I merely want to know who Carl Harald Janson is. I don't want to know what he does. WHO IS HE?!

Thursday nights? He goes back to Stockholm, I suppose. It doesn't matter to him. A man like Carl lives in his head.

I hope Fundweb gets caught. Carl won't report them. He doesn't know what's going on.

...

Music? I'm listening to John Mayall's Blues Breakers with Eric Clapton. / It's a classic album from 1966. A year before Hendrix, Clapton invented modern rock guitar playing. (Although Hendrix took things further later on ...) / Listen to Have You Heard. Ferocious guitar shit from 3.26! Steppin' Out is cool as well.

My ... music? Well ... I might do some recording today, and I might not. I'm focusing on improving my guitar playing. (I really need to get that Telecaster. Lead guitar is no good on an acoustic.) I reckon I'll be able to reach the minimum standard I want by the end of the year. That's the standard of singer/songwriters like Elvis Costello, Neil Young, and Van Morrison. The next step up from that would be a guitarist like Keith Richards or Pete Townshend. After that it's guys like Eric Clapton and Prince. I don't know how far I want to take it. As a songwriter for other people I'll only need to be good enough to record demos. But as a recording artist ... Who knows?!

Chris Bowie has left Ignis Asset Management

Yeah, it's a shame really. But things are changing at Ignis and Mr Bowie doesn't want to be head of credit no more. He's got different fish to fry - well, I hope he has. He seems a bit confused. You don't believe me, dear reader(s)?

Well, Mr Bowie phoned me late last night. This is what was spoken between us: 'Mikey, I've left Ignis, man. I think it's the right thing for me to have done, considering that Standard Life Investments has taken over. It's a God-awful small affair. Every time I thought I'd got it made it seemed the taste was not so sweet. (Obviously, Chris, yeah. I understand. But what are you going to do now?) Well, I, I will be king. (Oh.) And you, you will be queen. (I beg your pardon, Chris? I think we've got a bad line.) Nothing, man. (Come on, seriously. What are you going to do?) I don't know. I haven't given it too much thought yet. I'm tempted to suck up into my mind like a leper messiah. (Yeah.) Or I might just get another job in finance. (Don't do that!) It's all I know, Mikey. I mean, I never lost control. You're ear to ear with the man who sold the world. (Well, I suppose, but -) And I ain't got no money, and I ain't got no hair. (Really?!) So ... I need to work again. It's just that ... (What, Chris? Tell me.) Day after day, they send my friends away, to mansions cold and grey, to the far side of town, where the thin men stalk the streets, while - (Oh, for Christ's sake, son, get a grip! Do you want to work in finance again? Yes or no!) I'm starving for me gravy, Mikey. I've got to! (Well, then, get another job. You'll be snapped up in no time, I'm sure.) Yeah, yeah. My brain hurts like a warehouse though. It's so hard, and ... (You'll be all right, Chris. Personally, I think you should get out of finance. Do something else. But it's your choice. And your life.) Hey, man, my work's down the drain! I, I, I ... (Listen, man. Listen to me! You're not alone. You're watching yourself, but you're too unfair. You got your head all tangled up, but if I could only make you care. Oh no, love, you're not alone. No matter what or who you've been. No matter when or where you've seen. All the knives seem to lacerate your brain. I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain. You're not alone!!!) Er ... thanks, Mikey.'

 

Chris hung up the phone after that. / Maybe I was a bit over the top with my final words, but I just wanted to get through to him, you know? I think I was successful. I'm sure he'll be okay.

Herman Laret is working at Titan Advisors

Yeah, Herman is at Titan, believe it or not. And this guy is really on the ball because he's only been at the firm two months and he has already updated his LinkedIn profile. Impressive, eh?

...

Titan? Well ... Titan Advisors is an experienced asset management and advisory firm focused exclusively on hedge funds. Its fund funds of hedge fund funds consist of diversified portfolios of nimble, manic, opportunistic managers who share its goal of generating attractive returns independent of the major indices. / Sounds all right, don't it? Herman must be happy.

Herman? He's an Old Seafordian, so ... 'A what, boss?!' An Old Seafordian, Voice. 'Right. Not exactly Old Etonian, is it?' Don't be like that, man. (Sorry, Herman, if you're reading.) / Yeah, anyway, this Herman Laret character used to be a managing director at Credit Suisse. Now, he's, er ... a senior research analyst at Titan, which is okay, I suppose. 'Ha!' Unfortunately, he's mixed up in a load of global macro nonsense, but ... he's lucky to have a job at all, so ... 'Yeah, being an Old Seafordian.' I've told you, idiot! Leave it!

...

You know what, dear readers(s)? I think Herman is a pretty decent sort. I don't care that his parents couldn't afford to send him to Eton. Only David Cameron cares about stuff like that. (Voice is merely having a laugh.) However, there is one thing that bothers me. (Quite a minor thing. I won't lose any sleep.) Herman wants to get back in touch. 'Oh dear.' But I've never been in touch with him! I've never met him or anything. All I know about him is what I've read online.

Maybe it's just a LinkedIn thing, I don't know ... yeah. / Herman's got a nice smile, so ... I'm not expecting any trouble. I'm sure he's a pretty decent sort. Forget I mentioned it, reader(s).