Source saw record demand for its Source Physical Gold P-ETC (SGLD) product last month!

Wow! Eh? / Yes, it's the Wednesday night PR email, back by popular demand.

SGLD was the most actively traded gold Exchange Traded Commodity (ETC) in Europe so far this year and saw the largest inflows of any European gold ETC, attracting $300 million of new assets in January. This compares to less than $250 million of inflows over the whole of 2015.

Er, ETC? WTF?! Is that the same as an ETF? I don't know.

Christopher Mellor at Source, said: "ETFs are a great barometer of market sentiment. Given the challenging start to 2016 and nervousness in the markets, there is clearly a renaissance in gold as a haven. We have seen record demand for our gold product, with investors attracted to its very low cost and high liquidity. Given the on-going concerns over the global economy, we expect demand to remain strong."

Oh, panic over. Our Chris knows. They're the same thing. Nice one, Chris. You've saved my bacon. 'You're a vegetarian, boss.' Shut up, Voice!

'Boss! Boss!' What?! 'Have a look at this shit, from Barclays -'

ETCs are also products that are listed and traded on a stock exchange, however unlike ETFs, which will generally track equity or fixed income indices, ETCs track commodities, such as metals, natural energy resources, agricultural produce or livestock. In some cases an ETC will try to directly track the performance of a given commodity, in other cases ETCs will track an index that is designed to measure the value of that commodity. The second index tracking type of ETC tends to occur in cases where there may be complications in tracking the value of the actual physical commodity itself.

Oh, I see. They're different. Chris is taking the piss, ain't he? I can just imagine: Mikey don't know or care what ETCs and ETFs are. So fuck him!

Lovely. Really lovely. It's nice to know who your friends are.

[No. 391] Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten are free!

Sort of. For now. / Not beyond the THREE, obviously. But you can't have everything. Maybe they wouldn't be able to handle EVERYTHING.

And out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[1], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![2], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[2], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[1], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[2], and work is killing YOU(!)[1], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[2], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[1], and work is killing YOU(!)[2], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[1], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[2], and money gives YOU(!) pain[1], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[2], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![1], and money gives YOU(!) pain[2], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[1], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![2], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[1], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[2], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[1], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[2], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![1], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[2], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[1], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![2], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[1], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[2], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[2], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[3], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[3], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[3], and work is killing YOU(!)[3], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[3], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[3], and money gives YOU(!) pain[3], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![3], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[3], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[3], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[3], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![3], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[3], and

And out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[1], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![2], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[2], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[1], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[2], and work is killing YOU(!)[1], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[2], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[1], and work is killing YOU(!)[2], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[1], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[2], and money gives YOU(!) pain[1], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[2], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![1], and money gives YOU(!) pain[2], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[1], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![2], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[1], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[2], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[1], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[2], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![1], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[2], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[1], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![2], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[1], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[2], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[2], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[3], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[3], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[3], and work is killing YOU(!)[3], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[3], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[3], and money gives YOU(!) pain[3], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![3], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[3], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[3], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[3], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![3], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[3], and

And out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[1], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![2], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[1], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[2], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[1], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[2], and work is killing YOU(!)[1], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[2], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[1], and work is killing YOU(!)[2], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[1], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[2], and money gives YOU(!) pain[1], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[2], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![1], and money gives YOU(!) pain[2], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[1], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![2], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[1], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[2], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[1], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[2], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![1], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[2], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[1], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![2], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[1], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[2], and out of Unigestion and into the conceptual shit![3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[2], and I've got the souls of Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten a-ROUND here all DIZZY(!) / They can thank me later[3], and their bodies are still chained to the radiator ...[3], and all of finance is a prison / and you get money, but what do you lose?[3], and work is killing YOU(!)[3], and how many hours? / and how many days? / uh, weeks, months, years, decades ...[3], and this is the way / a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, free of the world's grief, for a while[3], and money gives YOU(!) pain[3], and ha! money? it's a pain I could live with, so bring it on home to me, baby![3], and I never promised anyone a rainbow up their arse to make EVERYTHING(!) okay, you dig?[3], and if you've got a fund ... it won't save you[3], and Christ! / life beyond the THREE ... better be better be better be, than this[3], and if only you could stay DIZZY(!) here / oh, please don't go / the mystic kooks want you to stay ... forever!!![3], and I'm always looking for new followers, new spinners ...[3], and a-ROUND here ... there is NOTHING to lose[3], and

Unigestion has bought Nicholas Linnane, Chrysis Aristidou, and Faten Benali from Cube Capital

Just like that! Unigestion buys three people. And that's it! They think they can get away with it - in the year 2016!

Poor Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten! I hope they're going to be all right. 'With their new owners, like?' Yes, Voice. I suppose they've already been put to work on the global long/short equity and credit fund. 'What fund?' That's the fund they had at Cube Capital. Unigestion has bought the fucking fund as well! Oh, they don't mess around, this lot.

Maybe the guys will escape. One day someone will leave a door or window open. People get careless, you know? Nicholas, Chrysis, and Faten will have to lull Unigestion into a false sense of security ... Yes, we love it here. Unigestion is a great firm. We want to stay forever. There is absolutely no need to chain us to the radiator. Do you want a sandwich from the shop? Or sandwiches for everyone? The other guys will have to help me carry them back. / 'Ha!' That's how it will go, man. Good luck to them!

...

Anything else? No. Well ... there's my lunch. Uh, cheese and pickle sandwich, which, er ... I can confirm I will be making myself. I'm not totally useless in the kitchen. / After lunch, I'll probably take the guys for a spin, No. 391. A taste of my freedom, as it were, or as it will be. But not beyond the THREE. Not today. 'Not any day.' Shut up!

Music? I'm listening to The Jesus and Mary Chain, Automatic. My head is in chaos this morning, for various reasons - and I want music that will make the chaos worse. 'Ha!' Let's dive in! There is no need to be afraid.

My music? I was going to try writing a new song today, but I'm going to blog instead - three posts! There must be something wrong with me. Never mind, eh?

Who is Jamie Horvat?

Yes, who is Jamie Horvat? For the love of our saviour, who is he?! 'You mean James Horvat, Mikey. You're so informal with these characters, man, like they're your fucking friends or something.' [Jesus! What a moron!] Listen, Voice. Firstly, Mr Horvat calls himself Jamie, yeah? 'Oh.' Secondly, most of these characters are my friends. So you can shut your big mouth. 'Boss, I don't have a mouth. How many more times?! I'm just a disembodied voice.' Shut it!

[Christ! What a cretin!] Right, Jamie Horvat. Our Jamie is director of global equities at M&G Investments, and, er, a fund manager. Apparently, he likes metal. 'Another AC/DC fan?' AC/DC are hard rock, man. I wouldn't listen to them if they were metal. / Anyway, I'm sure Jamie does like AC/DC, but that's not the point. The point is, he has a position in metal at M&G. Probably invested in some groups, their records, or touring profits. 'Ha!' I'll be honest with you, dear reader(s), I don't know what the fuck is going on with this guy ...

I mean ... for example, I've been looking at his LinkedIn profile, as is my habit with such finance characters. Now, it seems Jamie went to McMaster University. That's what he claims. I'm thinking though ... it might be a made up university, you know? McMaster? Seriously? It's like some loser from a burger bar wanted to sound all dominant or something. I ain't buying it!

However, if our Jamie is happy, we shouldn't judge him. He threw his profile together in a rush. So what? He obviously doesn't care about square finance. Listening to music, being involved in music, is better than managing funds. And I doubt Jamie is really interested in making money. He has his "position" in metal merely to keep the bosses off his back at M&G. / Reader(s), if you work with Jamie, does he keep disappearing during the day? [Other voices ... for a minute or two.] Really? Oh dear. He probably has a guitar stashed in the broom cupboard. That's where you'll find him!

...

Anything else? Well ... / Guitar? I'm out in the open with my guitar, man! No need to hide. I'm rockin' in the free world - and without a care in the world.

[No. 390] This person is connected to 0 Board Members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries

Ha! This person. Me? You? Anyone? Is it no one? Are we all NO ONE - ? Is there something existential going on at Bloomberg? Hell is other websites!

And I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[1], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![2], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[2], and ... isolation![1], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[2], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[1], and ... isolation![2], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[1], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[2], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[1], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[2], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![1], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[2], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![1], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![2], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![1], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![2], and confusion is definitely the way[1], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![2], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[1], and confusion is definitely the way[2], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[1], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[2], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[1], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[2], and what do you want?! Tell me![1], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[2], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[1], and what do you want?! Tell me![2], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[1], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[2], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[1], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[2], and, alas, there is no information, man![1], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[2], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![3], and, alas, there is no information, man![2], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[3], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[3], and ... isolation![3], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[3], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[3], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[3], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![3], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![3], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![3], and confusion is definitely the way[3], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[3], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[3], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[3], and what do you want?! Tell me![3], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[3], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[3], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[3], and, alas, there is no information, man![3], and

And I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[1], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![2], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[2], and ... isolation![1], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[2], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[1], and ... isolation![2], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[1], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[2], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[1], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[2], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![1], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[2], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![1], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![2], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![1], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![2], and confusion is definitely the way[1], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![2], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[1], and confusion is definitely the way[2], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[1], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[2], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[1], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[2], and what do you want?! Tell me![1], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[2], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[1], and what do you want?! Tell me![2], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[1], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[2], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[1], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[2], and, alas, there is no information, man![1], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[2], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![3], and, alas, there is no information, man![2], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[3], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[3], and ... isolation![3], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[3], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[3], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[3], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![3], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![3], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![3], and confusion is definitely the way[3], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[3], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[3], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[3], and what do you want?! Tell me![3], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[3], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[3], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[3], and, alas, there is no information, man![3], and

And I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[1], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![2], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[1], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[2], and ... isolation![1], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[2], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[1], and ... isolation![2], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[1], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[2], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[1], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[2], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![1], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[2], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![1], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![2], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![1], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![2], and confusion is definitely the way[1], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![2], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[1], and confusion is definitely the way[2], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[1], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[2], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[1], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[2], and what do you want?! Tell me![1], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[2], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[1], and what do you want?! Tell me![2], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[1], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[2], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[1], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[2], and, alas, there is no information, man![1], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[2], and I'm not connected to anyone or anything (normal) / Yes, I'm talking about the BIG ZERO!!![3], and, alas, there is no information, man![2], and are we connected? / and are you normal?[3], and we fly a-ROUND together, not touching, but occasionally feeling ... yeah, yeah[3], and ... isolation![3], and if I were in a different organization, or any organization, would YOU(!) connect with me?[3], and who is ... this person? / Er, me ...[3], and a-ROUND here with no board members, oh thank you, spinner(s), so kooky! / because I'm the chairman of the bored[3], and who are ... YOU(!)? / ... that person![3], and the BIG ZERO is coming to an empty head, a wretched soul, near you, uh, maybe you ... so you better run![3], and a bad thought: three zeroes!!![3], and confusion is definitely the way[3], and there is NO ESCAPE from the bad thoughts that follow us everywhere[3], and Bloomberg wants to pretend that the cosmos is GONE ... / Oh, I understand[3], and I can stand it here for a while, until Cornwall maybe, but even there ... the BIG ZEROES will be watching, and smiling[3], and what do you want?! Tell me![3], and we want the BIG ANSWERS to the BIG QUESTIONS, don't we?[3], and with emptiness ... we will chase the wind, and piss in the wind, and never know a thing ...[3], and one, two, three ... and, er, beyond the THREE ... will the big zeroes be there, waiting for us?[3], and, alas, there is no information, man![3], and

Bryan White is leaving BlackRock

Ah, someone is always leaving somewhere, or joining ... / Yeah, leaving Blackrock's hedge fundy fund funds of fundy funds business, BlackRock Alternative Advisors - where he is one of the two heads, like a mythical monster, our Bryan. So? It's no big deal. Bryan wants to do something else with his life. He wants an exciting time. 'He wants to play bass in The Wurzels, boss?' Maybe, Voice, I don't know. You'll have to ask Bryan ...

Well, well ... / So ... Bryan. Bryan White. Mr Bryan White. Mr White. Who is he? What is he? How does he feel? / And ... Bloomberg? Can Bloomberg tell us anything about the man?

This person is connected to 0 Board Members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries.

The useless bastards! 'Why do you bother with them, boss?!' Habit. I'm a glutton for punishment. Or there's a problem with my head.

Problem. Problem. Problem. / Christ! I'm stuck in the same routine, man, always going to Bloomberg for answers they won't supply, a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... 'You should do a conceptual on them.' Oh, I might. Actually, I will. Today!

Oh, LinkedIn? I've looked. Our Bryan ain't giving much away on his profile. 'Have you signed in?' I can't, Voice. I'm not a member any more. Do I miss it? No ... is the short answer. If I want to connect with people, I'll do it in a soulful way on the astral plane. 'What if they don't want to connect with you, man?' I'll do it while they're sleeping. Turn their dreams into nightmares. No one can stop me having my fun.

...

Anything else? The Bafta crap was on TV last night. I didn't watch it because Tom Hardy wasn't nominated for anything, so I can't take it seriously, you dig? As far as I'm concerned, his two performances (combined) in Legend are the best thing since De Niro in Raging Bull. Hardy is the best actor around at the moment. He could become one of the all-time greats.

Willis Towers Watson Launches LEAP!!!

Go on, leap!!!

No, don't get upset. It's just the Thursday afternoon PR email, back by popular demand.

Responding to new regulatory requirements for senior executives, Willis Towers Watson (NASDAQ: WLTW) the leading global advisory, broking and solutions company, has launched a new legal expenses solution to help protect executives from personal liability.

Cool! That's LEAP.

The Senior Managers and Certification Regime will come into force for UK banks and building societies on March 7, 2016. As a result all senior managers will acquire a range of additional personal duties and responsibilities including an overall "duty of responsibility" and therefore a greater personal risk of liability. In October 2015, the UK Government also announced its intention to extend the regime to all regulated entities.

The government again!

Francis Kean, Executive Director in Willis Towers Watson's financial and executive risks practice, said: "Conflicts of interest may not arise often but when they do it can be a serious matter. The question as to whether, when and on what terms companies will pay for board members to access separate legal advice is often shrouded in uncertainty. LEAP provides senior managers with the reassurance that this resource will always be available to them. What differentiates LEAP from traditional Directors &Officers (D&O) insurance is that it is triggered not by a claim or investigation but by the subjective assessment of the senior manager concerned of the need for separate advice."

Well, well ... / I don't have much to add, really. I'm sure some of you will find it useful, considering the lives you lead. I'm not judging anyone. I just think maybe you could ... I don't know, find something else to do. What do you think? 'Leave it, boss. They're happy.' Oh, you reckon? You never heard of unconscious despair? 'What?!' Kierkegaard, Voice. Read some fucking books! [I think my concept of it is a bit different though. It doesn't matter. Just forget about it.]

Ah, that's it. Laters.

The FCA has fined Achilles Macris £792,900

First question: Who on earth is Achilles Macris? 'That's an erotic name, that is, boss.' Eh? You mean "exotic", Voice. 'Oh yeah, exotic, sorry. It's an exotic name.' It certainly is, my little invisible friend.

Second question: Why has the FCA taken £792,900 off the poor man?

The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) has today fined Achilles Macris £792,900 for failing to be open and co-operative with the Authority. Mr Macris was Head of CIO International for JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A. in London. In the role he was responsible for a number of portfolios, including the synthetic credit portfolio, at the time of what became known as the 'London Whale' trades.

Guys, you've got to be open and co-operative with AUTHORITY! Didn't they teach you anything in school?

Mr Macris was the main contact with the FCA's predecessor the Financial Services Authority (FSA) (FSA and FCA together the Authority) in relation to CIO International and as an approved person he was required to deal with the Authority in an open and cooperative way. Between 28 March 2012 and 29 April 2012 Mr Macris did not inform the Authority about concerns with the synthetic credit portfolio and as a result he failed to meet the standards expected of an approved person under Statement of Principle 4. More, than is healthy.

Well, fair enough, I suppose. Personally, I would have fined him a cool million just for that name of his.

...

Anything else? Not much at the moment. I'll be writing one more post later, but ... I haven't had many PR emails this week. So I don't know what I'm going to write about. / Oh, I got one email, inviting me to a conference in Edinburgh. Christ! Have a word with yourself, PR person, yeah? I ain't travelling all the way up there!

Music? I've finished rewriting the lyric of My Heart, and I'm pleased with it. Everyone can relax now. No more drama - for a while.

[No. 389] Westbrook Asset Management is a firm

Oh, hedge fund, not a film. Not an exciting new film. 'Ha!' Okay, okay, I was wrong. Big deal!

And, well, well ... who knew?[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[1], and, well, well ... who knew?[2], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[2], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[1], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![1], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[2], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![2], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[1], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![1], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[2], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![2], and will I ever learn?[1], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![2], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[1], and will I ever learn?[2], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![1], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[1], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![2], and ... where am I?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[2], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![1], and ... where am I?[2], and, well, well ... who knew?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![2], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[3], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[3], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![3], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[3], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![3], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![3], and will I ever learn?[3], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[3], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[3], and ... where am I?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![3], and

And, well, well ... who knew?[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[1], and, well, well ... who knew?[2], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[2], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[1], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![1], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[2], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![2], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[1], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![1], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[2], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![2], and will I ever learn?[1], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![2], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[1], and will I ever learn?[2], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![1], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[1], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![2], and ... where am I?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[2], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![1], and ... where am I?[2], and, well, well ... who knew?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![2], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[3], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[3], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![3], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[3], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![3], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![3], and will I ever learn?[3], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[3], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[3], and ... where am I?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![3], and

And, well, well ... who knew?[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[1], and, well, well ... who knew?[2], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[1], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[2], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[1], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![1], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[2], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![2], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[1], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![1], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[2], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![2], and will I ever learn?[1], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![2], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[1], and will I ever learn?[2], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![1], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[1], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![2], and ... where am I?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[2], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![1], and ... where am I?[2], and, well, well ... who knew?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![2], and Jean-Louis Le Mee and Will Smith are merely ... finance guys / Oh, never mind, eh?[3], and I won't lie to you: I genuinely believe that my fantasies are better than reality[3], and it's been such a depressing day, man ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / oh, oh ... can you blame me?![3], and Will Smith isn't a star / and he will have to live with the shame of that for the rest of his life[3], and dreams are for dreaming / and life is for ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here, come on! / More, more, more![3], and it goes without saying ... I wish them both the best / Christ! Why did I say it?![3], and will I ever learn?[3], and at times like this - ? ... I really need to get DIZZY(!), you dig? / My conceptual posts should be on the National Health[3], and maybe beyond the THREE our Will could become a star - ? / No one knows what's there, man![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... uh, come on / Soon, we'll forget, hopefully[3], and ... where am I?[3], and endless, limitless more for the road ... please![3], and

Jean-Louis Le Mee? Westbrook Asset Management?

Well, well ... / Right. Jean-Louis Le Mee is a film producer, and he's going to be working on a new film with star Will Smith. [I think they're making yet another film about the financial crisis. Jesus H. Christ! Do we need another one?] The film is going to be called Westbrook Asset Management. 'I think you might have that wrong, boss.' Oh yeah, Voice. How? 'Westbrook Asset Management is a new hedge fund. Jean-Louis Le Mee used to be a partner at BlueGold Capital. He's not a fucking film producer. And Will Smith is just some finance guy.' Ha! Bollocks, Voice! Where do you get your information? 'The internet.'

What a load of bollocks! You can't trust the internet. I'm sticking with my version. Will Smith was brilliant in Independence Day, and loads of other films. He ain't some boring portfolio manager from CQS. 'Where did you get that? I never said that.' You must have said it. I heard you. You said Will Smith used to be a portfolio manager at CQS - whatever that is. 'Oh dear. I think you're hearing other voices, boss. This is very disturbing.' Yeah, maybe I've got a new intern. You might be out of a job soon, my old son. 'Suits me!' Just go away, will you?

...

I'm in a bad mood this morning, a perverse mood. / My music is doing my head in, man. I'm going to have another go at My Heart, to see if I can get the lyric right. But not today! I think it's too cold to go out. If I stay in, I'll see if I can write a new tune on my guitar. I've got veggie burger takeaway to look forward to for me dinner. Lunch? Well, lunch first. I didn't buy a sandwich. I'm going to make my own bread rolls with cheese and cucumber. Maybe a can of Coke, but I'm trying to cut down on the sugar.