Prophet unveils strategic partnership with ...

With me? I don't think so. I haven't gone into any partnerships with any prophets. 'Not lately, boss.' I do my own prophecies anyway, Voice. 'I know.' Yeah.

Well, well ... / No. What it is, is ... is a PR email, sent to me, a few days ago, before the weekend, like ... by Whole Lotta Rosie. 'Who?!' Rosie, man. The PR girl. 'Oh.' Yeah. It's actually a partnership with FinTech membership body Innovate Finance. 'Nice.' Maybe.

Prophet, the global strategy consultancy, today announced a partnership with Innovate Finance, the independent members' association representing the UK's global FinTech community.

The rise of FinTech is disrupting the traditional finance world in very deep and lasting ways, and the disruption has only just begun. Prophet and Innovate Finance are collaborating to support the FinTech community in achieving success by helping them create relevance among consumers and businesses through exciting new value propositions and designing experiences that are built around the customer.

Well, I have news for Rosie. 'Go on.' The rise of FinTech is messing with my mystical financial shamanism. Forget about square traditional finance! / Jesus H. - ! Anyway ... there's more, but let's get straight to Greg and Lawrence -

Prophet Greg Handrick, who leads the consultancy's Financial Services practice in Europe, said: "We're thrilled to be a part of the Innovate Finance community, which places Prophet at the epicentre of the world's most dynamic FinTech hub. At the same time, we're pleased to be bringing something to Innovate Finance and its members that it doesn't yet have - broad expertise in the kind of customer-focused growth that FinTechs of all sizes will need in order to succeed. For smaller FinTech businesses that are just starting up, Prophet can help bring greater clarity to their value propositions, sharpen their business cases and create a go-to-market strategy to get ideas off the ground. For larger, more established businesses we can help to make concepts more relevant, by bringing fresh thinking around customer-centric innovation at a time when this is on top of many enterprise agendas."

Okay. He reckons he's at the epicentre. Fair enough. A prophet, too. 'Ha!' We'll have to take his word for it, Voice. 'What about Lawrence, boss?' Christ!

Lawrence Wintermeyer, CEO of Innovate Finance, said: "We are looking forward to working with Prophet as we broaden our footprint and increase the range of resources we make available to our members. Prophet brings a unique mix of business consulting, customer experience and digital strategy to our platform, and this is already showing results. Our partnership shows our commitment to maximizing our potential to reach as many FinTech influencers as possible and to share our content and knowledge to those who are taking part in the exciting changes that are shaping the future of financial services."

And that's the ends of it, as far as I'm concerned. 'Rosie, too.' Yeah, Rosie, too, man. She says it's the ends. She's a woman after my own heart. A whole lotta woman.

...

Anything else? Music? I was listening to The Beatles earlier ... what I reckon to be the best seven songs from Rubber Soul and the double A-sides of We Can Work It Out / Day Tripper from around the same time, late 1965. / So, nine songs from a very short period which beat most bands' Best of collections.

My music? I'll try recording again soon, very soon. 'Great!' I want the performances to be as good as the songs, man. Well, close, anyway. / And I'm aiming for this new four-track demo to be better than most artists' Best of stuff (excluding the really big guys, obviously - it'll take more than four songs). 'You said that last time, Mikey!' I mean it this time, son.

[No. 487] Which moment in time ... is the right time?

I'm just hoping I ain't out of time.

And, uh, good question, well ... yeah?[1], and this time, or this time - who knows?! / Do YOU(!) know? / No, no, no ...[1], and, uh, good question, well ... yeah?[2], and if you could pick a moment when you were at your very best ...[1], and this time, or this time - who knows?! / Do YOU(!) know? / No, no, no ...[2], and ... so, don't say a word, please[1], and if you could pick a moment when you were at your very best ...[2], and if you're thinking, maybe you should stop thinking / You don't want to hurt yourself[1], and ... so, don't say a word, please[2], and ... we can take a guess, yes?[1], and if you're thinking, maybe you should stop thinking / You don't want to hurt yourself[2], and a-ROUND here ... it often seems as if I have ... all the time in the cosmos / oh, am I fooling myself?[1], and ... we can take a guess, yes?[2], and life - in general - is confusing[1], and a-ROUND here ... it often seems as if I have ... all the time in the cosmos / oh, am I fooling myself?[2], and you dig? / Do you dig? / Ah, you dig, yes, yes, yes, I'm sure you dig, man, no?[1], and life - in general - is confusing[2], and the passing of time is a fucking nightmare![1], and you dig? / Do you dig? / Ah, you dig, yes, yes, yes, I'm sure you dig, man, no?[2], and it may drive me insane, seriously[1], and the passing of time is a fucking nightmare![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Would it be better to forget EVERYTHING(!) - ?[1], and it may drive me insane, seriously[2], and do you even care?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Would it be better to forget EVERYTHING(!) - ?[2], and take my hand / and I will tell you my TRUTH(!!!)[1], and do you even care?[2], and I hope you're not a SQUARE without a CARE in this COLD WORLD - you dig, you dig?[1], and take my hand / and I will tell you my TRUTH(!!!)[2], and, yes, we've already established that[1], and I hope you're not a SQUARE without a CARE in this COLD WORLD - you dig, you dig?[2], and I will have to find the perfect time, the only time, it can be done, uh, the transformation ...[1], and, yes, we've already established that[2], and finance to rock and roll, remember?[1], and I will have to find the perfect time, the only time, it can be done, uh, the transformation ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... if you're a kook, keep all this to yourself[1], and finance to rock and roll, remember?[2], and, yeah ... just a bit of advice[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... if you're a kook, keep all this to yourself[2], and, well ... we've turned a-ROUND nice again, ain't we?[1], and, yeah ... just a bit of advice[2], and this ... !!! - ?[1], and, well ... we've turned a-ROUND nice again, ain't we?[2], and, uh, good question, well ... yeah?[3], and this ... !!! - ?[2], and this time, or this time - who knows?! / Do YOU(!) know? / No, no, no ...[3], and if you could pick a moment when you were at your very best ...[3], and ... so, don't say a word, please[3], and if you're thinking, maybe you should stop thinking / You don't want to hurt yourself[3], and ... we can take a guess, yes?[3], and a-ROUND here ... it often seems as if I have ... all the time in the cosmos / oh, am I fooling myself?[3], and life - in general - is confusing[3], and you dig? / Do you dig? / Ah, you dig, yes, yes, yes, I'm sure you dig, man, no?[3], and the passing of time is a fucking nightmare![3], and it may drive me insane, seriously[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Would it be better to forget EVERYTHING(!) - ?[3], and do you even care?[3], and take my hand / and I will tell you my TRUTH(!!!)[3], and I hope you're not a SQUARE without a CARE in this COLD WORLD - you dig, you dig?[3], and, yes, we've already established that[3], and I will have to find the perfect time, the only time, it can be done, uh, the transformation ...[3], and finance to rock and roll, remember?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... if you're a kook, keep all this to yourself[3], and, yeah ... just a bit of advice[3], and, well ... we've turned a-ROUND nice again, ain't we?[3], and this ... !!! - ?[3], and

And, uh, good question, well ... yeah?[1], and this time, or this time - who knows?! / Do YOU(!) know? / No, no, no ...[1], and, uh, good question, well ... yeah?[2], and if you could pick a moment when you were at your very best ...[1], and this time, or this time - who knows?! / Do YOU(!) know? / No, no, no ...[2], and ... so, don't say a word, please[1], and if you could pick a moment when you were at your very best ...[2], and if you're thinking, maybe you should stop thinking / You don't want to hurt yourself[1], and ... so, don't say a word, please[2], and ... we can take a guess, yes?[1], and if you're thinking, maybe you should stop thinking / You don't want to hurt yourself[2], and a-ROUND here ... it often seems as if I have ... all the time in the cosmos / oh, am I fooling myself?[1], and ... we can take a guess, yes?[2], and life - in general - is confusing[1], and a-ROUND here ... it often seems as if I have ... all the time in the cosmos / oh, am I fooling myself?[2], and you dig? / Do you dig? / Ah, you dig, yes, yes, yes, I'm sure you dig, man, no?[1], and life - in general - is confusing[2], and the passing of time is a fucking nightmare![1], and you dig? / Do you dig? / Ah, you dig, yes, yes, yes, I'm sure you dig, man, no?[2], and it may drive me insane, seriously[1], and the passing of time is a fucking nightmare![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Would it be better to forget EVERYTHING(!) - ?[1], and it may drive me insane, seriously[2], and do you even care?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Would it be better to forget EVERYTHING(!) - ?[2], and take my hand / and I will tell you my TRUTH(!!!)[1], and do you even care?[2], and I hope you're not a SQUARE without a CARE in this COLD WORLD - you dig, you dig?[1], and take my hand / and I will tell you my TRUTH(!!!)[2], and, yes, we've already established that[1], and I hope you're not a SQUARE without a CARE in this COLD WORLD - you dig, you dig?[2], and I will have to find the perfect time, the only time, it can be done, uh, the transformation ...[1], and, yes, we've already established that[2], and finance to rock and roll, remember?[1], and I will have to find the perfect time, the only time, it can be done, uh, the transformation ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... if you're a kook, keep all this to yourself[1], and finance to rock and roll, remember?[2], and, yeah ... just a bit of advice[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... if you're a kook, keep all this to yourself[2], and, well ... we've turned a-ROUND nice again, ain't we?[1], and, yeah ... just a bit of advice[2], and this ... !!! - ?[1], and, well ... we've turned a-ROUND nice again, ain't we?[2], and, uh, good question, well ... yeah?[3], and this ... !!! - ?[2], and this time, or this time - who knows?! / Do YOU(!) know? / No, no, no ...[3], and if you could pick a moment when you were at your very best ...[3], and ... so, don't say a word, please[3], and if you're thinking, maybe you should stop thinking / You don't want to hurt yourself[3], and ... we can take a guess, yes?[3], and a-ROUND here ... it often seems as if I have ... all the time in the cosmos / oh, am I fooling myself?[3], and life - in general - is confusing[3], and you dig? / Do you dig? / Ah, you dig, yes, yes, yes, I'm sure you dig, man, no?[3], and the passing of time is a fucking nightmare![3], and it may drive me insane, seriously[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Would it be better to forget EVERYTHING(!) - ?[3], and do you even care?[3], and take my hand / and I will tell you my TRUTH(!!!)[3], and I hope you're not a SQUARE without a CARE in this COLD WORLD - you dig, you dig?[3], and, yes, we've already established that[3], and I will have to find the perfect time, the only time, it can be done, uh, the transformation ...[3], and finance to rock and roll, remember?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... if you're a kook, keep all this to yourself[3], and, yeah ... just a bit of advice[3], and, well ... we've turned a-ROUND nice again, ain't we?[3], and this ... !!! - ?[3], and

And, uh, good question, well ... yeah?[1], and this time, or this time - who knows?! / Do YOU(!) know? / No, no, no ...[1], and, uh, good question, well ... yeah?[2], and if you could pick a moment when you were at your very best ...[1], and this time, or this time - who knows?! / Do YOU(!) know? / No, no, no ...[2], and ... so, don't say a word, please[1], and if you could pick a moment when you were at your very best ...[2], and if you're thinking, maybe you should stop thinking / You don't want to hurt yourself[1], and ... so, don't say a word, please[2], and ... we can take a guess, yes?[1], and if you're thinking, maybe you should stop thinking / You don't want to hurt yourself[2], and a-ROUND here ... it often seems as if I have ... all the time in the cosmos / oh, am I fooling myself?[1], and ... we can take a guess, yes?[2], and life - in general - is confusing[1], and a-ROUND here ... it often seems as if I have ... all the time in the cosmos / oh, am I fooling myself?[2], and you dig? / Do you dig? / Ah, you dig, yes, yes, yes, I'm sure you dig, man, no?[1], and life - in general - is confusing[2], and the passing of time is a fucking nightmare![1], and you dig? / Do you dig? / Ah, you dig, yes, yes, yes, I'm sure you dig, man, no?[2], and it may drive me insane, seriously[1], and the passing of time is a fucking nightmare![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Would it be better to forget EVERYTHING(!) - ?[1], and it may drive me insane, seriously[2], and do you even care?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Would it be better to forget EVERYTHING(!) - ?[2], and take my hand / and I will tell you my TRUTH(!!!)[1], and do you even care?[2], and I hope you're not a SQUARE without a CARE in this COLD WORLD - you dig, you dig?[1], and take my hand / and I will tell you my TRUTH(!!!)[2], and, yes, we've already established that[1], and I hope you're not a SQUARE without a CARE in this COLD WORLD - you dig, you dig?[2], and I will have to find the perfect time, the only time, it can be done, uh, the transformation ...[1], and, yes, we've already established that[2], and finance to rock and roll, remember?[1], and I will have to find the perfect time, the only time, it can be done, uh, the transformation ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... if you're a kook, keep all this to yourself[1], and finance to rock and roll, remember?[2], and, yeah ... just a bit of advice[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... if you're a kook, keep all this to yourself[2], and, well ... we've turned a-ROUND nice again, ain't we?[1], and, yeah ... just a bit of advice[2], and this ... !!! - ?[1], and, well ... we've turned a-ROUND nice again, ain't we?[2], and, uh, good question, well ... yeah?[3], and this ... !!! - ?[2], and this time, or this time - who knows?! / Do YOU(!) know? / No, no, no ...[3], and if you could pick a moment when you were at your very best ...[3], and ... so, don't say a word, please[3], and if you're thinking, maybe you should stop thinking / You don't want to hurt yourself[3], and ... we can take a guess, yes?[3], and a-ROUND here ... it often seems as if I have ... all the time in the cosmos / oh, am I fooling myself?[3], and life - in general - is confusing[3], and you dig? / Do you dig? / Ah, you dig, yes, yes, yes, I'm sure you dig, man, no?[3], and the passing of time is a fucking nightmare![3], and it may drive me insane, seriously[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Would it be better to forget EVERYTHING(!) - ?[3], and do you even care?[3], and take my hand / and I will tell you my TRUTH(!!!)[3], and I hope you're not a SQUARE without a CARE in this COLD WORLD - you dig, you dig?[3], and, yes, we've already established that[3], and I will have to find the perfect time, the only time, it can be done, uh, the transformation ...[3], and finance to rock and roll, remember?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... if you're a kook, keep all this to yourself[3], and, yeah ... just a bit of advice[3], and, well ... we've turned a-ROUND nice again, ain't we?[3], and this ... !!! - ?[3], and

Goldman Sachs Investment Partners is leaving London

Well, well ... / Yeah, the Goldman hedge fund. Off to America. 'Back home, boss!' Yes, Voice. They say it's got nothing to do with Brexit though. 'Ha!' Do we believe them? 'Do we fuck!' It's just eight guys, I think, creeping out of the country. 'Maybe they thought no one would notice.' Oh, I noticed. 'Have you spoken to Lloyd about it?' Dear reader(s), here's a bit on the fund, from their website -

Goldman Sachs Investment Partners is a multidisciplinary investment fund with offices in the United States, London [no, no, no, don't make us laugh], Mumbai, Hong Kong, and Tokyo. The fund is managed by seasoned portfolio managers, who are assisted by over forty highly trained professionals. The team has strong relationships with industry leaders across the globe and has produced several notable hedge fund managers over the past three decades. Our portfolio strategy is rooted in a fundamental bottom-up and opportunistic investment approach. We mainly invest in the equity markets - both public and private opportunities, but will opportunistically assess special situations or other pieces of the capital structure. 

Well, so ... 'Have you spoken to Lloyd Blankfein about it, boss?' No, I haven't. 'Why not?' I haven't spoken to Lloyd for ages. I've lost contact with him. 'Oh.' It's just one of those things.

Uh, Brexit. Jeremy Corbyn says ... the fight starts now. FFS! 'Ha!' Do you know what I mean?

This fucking world. I only care about music.

...

Anything else? 'Music?' MUSIC - !!! I was listening to The Doors, L.A. Woman, but ... I'm sitting here in silence at the moment. Sometimes silence is nice, you dig?

My music? I've got to make a decision about recording my last two songs for the new demo. I mean, when to do it - ? 'Are you asking me, boss?' Not really, Voice. / It's difficult, man. Which moment in time ... will be the right time?

[By the way, I'm only using Elixir strings from now on. I've had my present set on for roughly a hundred hours and they still sound beautiful.]

Oh, I've got an idea for a conceptual post now! No. 487. / Laters, obviously. [Just one more post today.]

Have a nice weekend, reader(s)!

Peer-to-peer lending ... uh ... "flight to quality" ... and, well ... exit of weaker platforms, I suppose

And the weaker platforms are all exiting or something. 'Yeah. You've said that.' I actually have a migraine, man, since yesterday, and I've been feeling a bit sick. But you know what, dear reader(s)? I'm going to give this PR email my best shot. 'You're a real trooper, boss!' Thank you, Voice.

Okay. Let's do this!

Over half of wealth managers would now recommend direct lending as an alternative to mainstream cash products.

Well, well ... 'Is that it?!' This is it -

London, 8th February 2017 - Peer-to-Peer (P2P) lending is beginning to see a "flight to quality" as the growth rate of the industry slows and weaker platforms exit the market, according to BondMason, the UK's leading direct lending service for investors.

BondMason's Market Report 2017, the UK's only comprehensive summary of the latest trends in the P2P market, shows that the UK direct lending market accounted for £3.2 billion of lending in 2016, up 39% on 2015, but down from 91% growth for the same time period between 2014 and 2015.

Right. Let's bring Stephen Findlay in. [There's a photo of him, by the way. You don't want to see it.]

Stephen Findlay, CEO, BondMason, said: "The direct lending industry continues to grow at an impressive rate. What we are seeing right now, and what we believe to be the reason for the slow-down, is the start of a "flight to quality" whereby better lending platforms outperform and evolve faster and more sustainably than weaker ones, forcing the underperforming platforms to start to lose market share and then move out of the market altogether. This is good news for lenders, for borrowers and, ultimately, for the market itself."

So the catchphrase is "flight to quality". I get it. That's all right. 'They're trying to brainwash you, boss.' Ha! They'll have to do better than that. I'm the guy with the conceptual posts, remember. I can take this in my stride. / Jesus! This email ... I'm going down a bit. H! There's a lot of this email, man. Christ! I can't do all of it. I'll get complaints. 'Just do the room for growth.' All right. 'Oh, and the outlook for 2017.' Okay.

"There is plenty of room for direct lending to grow over the long term as it is still very small in the context of the overall lending market. This is exciting news for retail and institutional investors alike: competition is raising platform standards, while the growth potential for the market as a whole means that there remain great opportunities out there for investors", Stephen Findlay added.

That's the growth. / Outlook now -

Consolidation between direct lending platforms and traditional financial players is predicted for 2017 as the market moves from an 'opening' to 'scale' phase. According 'to' BondMason, tie-ups between direct lending platforms themselves will come later down the line, as growing infrastructure systems and improved regulation will move the relatively nascent industry to a more established means of lending.

Stephen Findlay said: "There is still so much potential for the direct lending market. We expect to see this "flight to quality" really take off over the next 1-2 years and for increased competition to lead to notable platform failure as it becomes harder for platforms to sustain revenues to cover their cost base.

"Flight to Quality" again! 'He can't leave it alone, Mikey!' Ha! What a character!

"Furthermore, the range of investors and the methods of investing will diversify, competition and consolidation will continue to produce better products, and regulation will improve as the industry becomes more established. Direct lending is here for the long-haul and we expect it to evolve and change form over the coming years - becoming an ever-increasing component of asset allocations for retail and institutional investors."

All right, all right. That's enough.

...

Anything else? Music? Well, it's staring at a laptop all day that gives me migraines. When I'm a rock star - 'You'll have a different set of problems.' Like what?! 'I don't know. Drug addiction?' Don't be ridiculous, Voice. I'm clean-living. 'Oh, you are now. But you'll fall in with a bad crowd, just like Jim Morrison.' Shut up!

Speaking of Jim Morrison ... I was watching The Doors Live at the Hollywood Bowl last night. A great concert! Our Jimmy was a true shaman. 'He still is, Mikey, on the astral plane.' I know that, man. He's my mentor.

Sandbar Asset Management - ?!

Don't worry about it, man(s). It's just a new equities hedge fund that is going to be launched later this year by Michael Cowley. He's hoping to raise $300 million, too. "Good luck to him!" That's what I say. We need more hedge funds in this world. [That wasn't the Voice, by the way. It was me. So I used those double speech mark things. What are they called?] 'Er ... just speech marks, boss, I think.' Oh, hello, Voice. How are you this morning? 'All right. / What are we talking about?' Michael Cowley and his new hedge fund, Sandbar Asset Management. He hasn't launched it yet, but when he does he's hoping to start off with $300 million - as I've just told the readers, if you were listening. 'Is this the Michael Cowley who was a portfolio manager at Millennium Capital Partners?' Yes. Why do you know him? 'No. I'm just reading the same shit you are.' Yeah, thanks, Voice. Thanks for your input. How much do I pay you again? 'Uh ... nothing, boss.' Ha! I'm paying you too much.

So ... $300 million. Is there any reason why we can't have it in pounds? I mean, this new firm is going to be London-based, as far as I know. 'No one takes pounds seriously, boss. We don't even know what they're worth from one day to the next.' Oh, don't get me started on Brexit! Jesus H. Christ! Do you know what I mean? 'Yeah.' And don't get me started on Trump again! 'Oh God! No.' No, no, no.

Well, well ... okay. / Let's wish Mr Cowley all the best with his new venture. Go on. 'Oh. Good luck, Mickey!' Is that what people call him, Voice? 'Er ... it's what I call him.' Okay.

...

Anything else? 'Music! What are you listening to, Mikey?' Can't you tell? 'Nirvana?' Yeah. In Utero.

My music? I don't want to record my last two songs yet because my performing has really improved over the last two months. 'Eh? That doesn't make any sense, man.' Yes it does. Maybe I can improve even more, man. You see? 'Oh.' / Anyway, I've come to the conclusion/belief that lead guitar may be more glamorous and flash than rhythm guitar BUT(!) ... rhythm is just as difficult as lead. In fact, I can say I've put more time into my rhythm playing. To play in a steady, smooth manner for four or five minutes without making ONE MISTAKE is actually quite difficult. While singing as well! / Also, I read somewhere that Prince valued good rhythm guitarists in his band more than lead players. Apparently, it's a lost art or something.

[No. 486] Melt up, down

All a-ROUND.

And here we are - !, ..., yeah, old friends[1], and don't expect sense, I ain't got none[1], and here we are - !, ..., yeah, old friends[2], and I never thought I would get this far, heading for five hundred - and at the speed of light![1], and don't expect sense, I ain't got none[2], and I'm so HOT, man(!!!) ... a-ROUND up here - ![1], and I never thought I would get this far, heading for five hundred - and at the speed of light![2], and ... 'Cool it, Mikey! Please!'[1], and I'm so HOT, man(!!!) ... a-ROUND up here - ![2], and where's my beautiful balloon? / Don't I get one?[1], and ... 'Cool it, Mikey! Please!'[2], and (when I'm crazy up I ain't crazy down ... and vice versa, obviously, obviously)[1], and where's my beautiful balloon? / Don't I get one?[2], and what do I want, out of life, like?[1], and (when I'm crazy up I ain't crazy down ... and vice versa, obviously, obviously)[2], and I'm asking for the COSMOS, not the fucking moon, you dig?![1], and what do I want, out of life, like?[2], and, ha, ha, ha! / SHIT!!![1], and I'm asking for the COSMOS, not the fucking moon, you dig?![2], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey! Christ!'[1], and, ha, ha, ha! / SHIT!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is all I got, son / Ah, deal with it[1], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey! Christ!'[2], and when the going gets tough, I am nowhere to be seen[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is all I got, son / Ah, deal with it[2], and these are the highest winds ... / oh, they gotta be![1], and when the going gets tough, I am nowhere to be seen[2], and where are YOU(!) ... my little spinner(s) ... in this comedy/tragedy - eh?[1], and these are the highest winds ... / oh, they gotta be![2], and my teeth are vibrating!!![1], and where are YOU(!) ... my little spinner(s) ... in this comedy/tragedy - eh?[2], and it's a raging fire volcano storm shit, uh, actually[1], and my teeth are vibrating!!![2], and, or, or, or ... so I say[1], and it's a raging fire volcano storm shit, uh, actually[2], and gotta bring it down now ... before I get lost in outer space ... or inner space[1], and, or, or, or ... so I say[2], and I'll be honest: I don't know where I am[1], and gotta bring it down now ... before I get lost in outer space ... or inner space[2], and YOU(!) ... could be helpful, if you knew how to be[1], and I'll be honest: I don't know where I am[2], and, well ... well - ?![1], and YOU(!) ... could be helpful, if you knew how to be[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... down, down, down, gently, like a feather[1], and, well ... well - ?![2], and ... / what is wrong with me?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... down, down, down, gently, like a feather[2], and here we go again, up![1], and ... / what is wrong with me?[2], and here we are - !, ..., yeah, old friends[3], and here we go again, up![2], and don't expect sense, I ain't got none[3], and I never thought I would get this far, heading for five hundred - and at the speed of light![3], and I'm so HOT, man(!!!) ... a-ROUND up here - ![3], and ... 'Cool it, Mikey! Please!'[3], and where's my beautiful balloon? / Don't I get one?[3], and (when I'm crazy up I ain't crazy down ... and vice versa, obviously, obviously)[3], and what do I want, out of life, like?[3], and I'm asking for the COSMOS, not the fucking moon, you dig?![3], and, ha, ha, ha! / SHIT!!![3], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey! Christ!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is all I got, son / Ah, deal with it[3], and when the going gets tough, I am nowhere to be seen[3], and these are the highest winds ... / oh, they gotta be![3], and where are YOU(!) ... my little spinner(s) ... in this comedy/tragedy - eh?[3], and my teeth are vibrating!!![3], and it's a raging fire volcano storm shit, uh, actually[3], and, or, or, or ... so I say[3], and gotta bring it down now ... before I get lost in outer space ... or inner space[3], and I'll be honest: I don't know where I am[3], and YOU(!) ... could be helpful, if you knew how to be[3], and, well ... well - ?![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... down, down, down, gently, like a feather[3], and ... / what is wrong with me?[3], and here we go again, up![3], and

And here we are - !, ..., yeah, old friends[1], and don't expect sense, I ain't got none[1], and here we are - !, ..., yeah, old friends[2], and I never thought I would get this far, heading for five hundred - and at the speed of light![1], and don't expect sense, I ain't got none[2], and I'm so HOT, man(!!!) ... a-ROUND up here - ![1], and I never thought I would get this far, heading for five hundred - and at the speed of light![2], and ... 'Cool it, Mikey! Please!'[1], and I'm so HOT, man(!!!) ... a-ROUND up here - ![2], and where's my beautiful balloon? / Don't I get one?[1], and ... 'Cool it, Mikey! Please!'[2], and (when I'm crazy up I ain't crazy down ... and vice versa, obviously, obviously)[1], and where's my beautiful balloon? / Don't I get one?[2], and what do I want, out of life, like?[1], and (when I'm crazy up I ain't crazy down ... and vice versa, obviously, obviously)[2], and I'm asking for the COSMOS, not the fucking moon, you dig?![1], and what do I want, out of life, like?[2], and, ha, ha, ha! / SHIT!!![1], and I'm asking for the COSMOS, not the fucking moon, you dig?![2], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey! Christ!'[1], and, ha, ha, ha! / SHIT!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is all I got, son / Ah, deal with it[1], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey! Christ!'[2], and when the going gets tough, I am nowhere to be seen[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is all I got, son / Ah, deal with it[2], and these are the highest winds ... / oh, they gotta be![1], and when the going gets tough, I am nowhere to be seen[2], and where are YOU(!) ... my little spinner(s) ... in this comedy/tragedy - eh?[1], and these are the highest winds ... / oh, they gotta be![2], and my teeth are vibrating!!![1], and where are YOU(!) ... my little spinner(s) ... in this comedy/tragedy - eh?[2], and it's a raging fire volcano storm shit, uh, actually[1], and my teeth are vibrating!!![2], and, or, or, or ... so I say[1], and it's a raging fire volcano storm shit, uh, actually[2], and gotta bring it down now ... before I get lost in outer space ... or inner space[1], and, or, or, or ... so I say[2], and I'll be honest: I don't know where I am[1], and gotta bring it down now ... before I get lost in outer space ... or inner space[2], and YOU(!) ... could be helpful, if you knew how to be[1], and I'll be honest: I don't know where I am[2], and, well ... well - ?![1], and YOU(!) ... could be helpful, if you knew how to be[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... down, down, down, gently, like a feather[1], and, well ... well - ?![2], and ... / what is wrong with me?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... down, down, down, gently, like a feather[2], and here we go again, up![1], and ... / what is wrong with me?[2], and here we are - !, ..., yeah, old friends[3], and here we go again, up![2], and don't expect sense, I ain't got none[3], and I never thought I would get this far, heading for five hundred - and at the speed of light![3], and I'm so HOT, man(!!!) ... a-ROUND up here - ![3], and ... 'Cool it, Mikey! Please!'[3], and where's my beautiful balloon? / Don't I get one?[3], and (when I'm crazy up I ain't crazy down ... and vice versa, obviously, obviously)[3], and what do I want, out of life, like?[3], and I'm asking for the COSMOS, not the fucking moon, you dig?![3], and, ha, ha, ha! / SHIT!!![3], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey! Christ!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is all I got, son / Ah, deal with it[3], and when the going gets tough, I am nowhere to be seen[3], and these are the highest winds ... / oh, they gotta be![3], and where are YOU(!) ... my little spinner(s) ... in this comedy/tragedy - eh?[3], and my teeth are vibrating!!![3], and it's a raging fire volcano storm shit, uh, actually[3], and, or, or, or ... so I say[3], and gotta bring it down now ... before I get lost in outer space ... or inner space[3], and I'll be honest: I don't know where I am[3], and YOU(!) ... could be helpful, if you knew how to be[3], and, well ... well - ?![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... down, down, down, gently, like a feather[3], and ... / what is wrong with me?[3], and here we go again, up![3], and

And here we are - !, ..., yeah, old friends[1], and don't expect sense, I ain't got none[1], and here we are - !, ..., yeah, old friends[2], and I never thought I would get this far, heading for five hundred - and at the speed of light![1], and don't expect sense, I ain't got none[2], and I'm so HOT, man(!!!) ... a-ROUND up here - ![1], and I never thought I would get this far, heading for five hundred - and at the speed of light![2], and ... 'Cool it, Mikey! Please!'[1], and I'm so HOT, man(!!!) ... a-ROUND up here - ![2], and where's my beautiful balloon? / Don't I get one?[1], and ... 'Cool it, Mikey! Please!'[2], and (when I'm crazy up I ain't crazy down ... and vice versa, obviously, obviously)[1], and where's my beautiful balloon? / Don't I get one?[2], and what do I want, out of life, like?[1], and (when I'm crazy up I ain't crazy down ... and vice versa, obviously, obviously)[2], and I'm asking for the COSMOS, not the fucking moon, you dig?![1], and what do I want, out of life, like?[2], and, ha, ha, ha! / SHIT!!![1], and I'm asking for the COSMOS, not the fucking moon, you dig?![2], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey! Christ!'[1], and, ha, ha, ha! / SHIT!!![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is all I got, son / Ah, deal with it[1], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey! Christ!'[2], and when the going gets tough, I am nowhere to be seen[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is all I got, son / Ah, deal with it[2], and these are the highest winds ... / oh, they gotta be![1], and when the going gets tough, I am nowhere to be seen[2], and where are YOU(!) ... my little spinner(s) ... in this comedy/tragedy - eh?[1], and these are the highest winds ... / oh, they gotta be![2], and my teeth are vibrating!!![1], and where are YOU(!) ... my little spinner(s) ... in this comedy/tragedy - eh?[2], and it's a raging fire volcano storm shit, uh, actually[1], and my teeth are vibrating!!![2], and, or, or, or ... so I say[1], and it's a raging fire volcano storm shit, uh, actually[2], and gotta bring it down now ... before I get lost in outer space ... or inner space[1], and, or, or, or ... so I say[2], and I'll be honest: I don't know where I am[1], and gotta bring it down now ... before I get lost in outer space ... or inner space[2], and YOU(!) ... could be helpful, if you knew how to be[1], and I'll be honest: I don't know where I am[2], and, well ... well - ?![1], and YOU(!) ... could be helpful, if you knew how to be[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... down, down, down, gently, like a feather[1], and, well ... well - ?![2], and ... / what is wrong with me?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... down, down, down, gently, like a feather[2], and here we go again, up![1], and ... / what is wrong with me?[2], and here we are - !, ..., yeah, old friends[3], and here we go again, up![2], and don't expect sense, I ain't got none[3], and I never thought I would get this far, heading for five hundred - and at the speed of light![3], and I'm so HOT, man(!!!) ... a-ROUND up here - ![3], and ... 'Cool it, Mikey! Please!'[3], and where's my beautiful balloon? / Don't I get one?[3], and (when I'm crazy up I ain't crazy down ... and vice versa, obviously, obviously)[3], and what do I want, out of life, like?[3], and I'm asking for the COSMOS, not the fucking moon, you dig?![3], and, ha, ha, ha! / SHIT!!![3], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey! Christ!'[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND is all I got, son / Ah, deal with it[3], and when the going gets tough, I am nowhere to be seen[3], and these are the highest winds ... / oh, they gotta be![3], and where are YOU(!) ... my little spinner(s) ... in this comedy/tragedy - eh?[3], and my teeth are vibrating!!![3], and it's a raging fire volcano storm shit, uh, actually[3], and, or, or, or ... so I say[3], and gotta bring it down now ... before I get lost in outer space ... or inner space[3], and I'll be honest: I don't know where I am[3], and YOU(!) ... could be helpful, if you knew how to be[3], and, well ... well - ?![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... down, down, down, gently, like a feather[3], and ... / what is wrong with me?[3], and here we go again, up![3], and

Andrew Harrison has joined Silverfleet Capital

As, as, as, er ... head of investor relations! 'Nice one!' Yes. / Yes, dear reader(s), it's the Monday morning PR email. So - 'Back by popular demand, boss!' What, Voice? 'It's the Monday morning PR email, back by popular demand.' Oh, yeah. I'm going to stop saying that. 'Why?!' It's getting a bit old. I'm bored with it, man.

Anyway -

Silverfleet Capital ("Silverfleet") is pleased to announce the appointment of Andrew Harrison as Head of Investor Relations ("Relations"), based in its London office. Andrew joins Silverfleet from Credit Suisse where he spent ("Spent") over 12 years, latterly as a member of the firm's Private Fund Group ("PFG").

Okay. By the way, the PR person has said that I can have a picture of Andy, if I want it. 'And do you want it?' No. 'Oh. Why not?' Well, maybe if he was a fit bird, you know? 'Okay. I get you.' Anyway. Let's do the rest of the email -

During his time in the PFG, Andrew raised capital for a number ("Number") of buyout, energy, credit and infrastructure investment strategies including Silverfleet's second independent fund. Most recently, Andrew was responsible for the PFG's origination and due diligence activities across Europe and Asia.

In the PFG?! 'Is that a football firm, boss?' Don't be ridiculous! / Hang on! --- Oh, of course. It's the private fund group ("PFG") at Credit Suisse.

Andrew has a degree ("Degree") in Computer Science and Management Science from The University of Edinburgh, and holds an MBA from Imperial College London.

Nice. 'What about Mr MacDougall, boss? What does he say about all this?' Give me a chance, Voice.

Neil MacDougall, Managing Partner at Silverfleet Capital, commented: "We are very pleased ("Pleased") that Andrew has decided to join Silverfleet to manage our investor relations function. Having worked very closely with him during the raising of our second fund we expect that he will make a significant contribution to our firm in this role."

So they obviously poached him. 'Like an egg!' No, not like an egg. Like a pheasant, maybe. But certainly not like an egg. 'Like a peasant?! Christ! Don't let our Andy hear you call him that.' I said - PHEASANT - !!! Idiot! ("Idiot").

Now, what does Andy say? Let's hear from the great man himself.

Commenting on his appointment, Andrew ("Andy") said: "I am delighted to be joining Silverfleet and am excited to be part of a market leading firm with such a longstanding reputation for creating value in companies across the European mid-market. Having advised the Silverfleet team on their last fund raising, I am looking forward to developing further the firm's relationships with investors around the world."

He's delighted. / Right. A bit about Silverfleet -

Silverfleet Capital has been an active European mid-market private equity investor for more than 30 years. The investment team of 25 executives is based in offices in London, Munich and Paris ("Peckham") and currently manages around €1.2 billion. Silverfleet Capital's second independent fund closed in 2015 with commitments of €870 million. Since its close, the fund has completed investments in: The Masai Clothing Company, a Danish headquartered wholesaler and retailer of women's fashion; Coventya, a French headquartered specialty chemicals business; Sigma Components, a UK precision components manufacturer focusing on the aerospace industry, and UK apprenticeship provider Lifetime Training.

And that will do, I think.

...

Ah, Jesus! Anything else? No. There's nothing else. 'What about No. 486, Mikey?' That will come later. / Laters.

[No. 485] When will finance be over?

I see my light come shining!

And I'm dreaming of the day[1], and, yes, Jesus, yes, Jesus, yes ... we all know, us people, how busy people ... like you ... actually are[1], and I'm dreaming of the day[2], and maybe you're stuck and loving it ...[1], and, yes, Jesus, yes, Jesus, yes ... we all know, us people, how busy people ... like you ... actually are[2], and don't YOU(!) ... dream, eh?[1], and maybe you're stuck and loving it ...[2], and, oh, I know, I know, I know, yes, golf / but I think you can do better than that[1], and don't YOU(!) ... dream, eh?[2], and take a lifetime off, please![1], and, oh, I know, I know, I know, yes, golf / but I think you can do better than that[2], and I get DIZZY(!), as you know[1], and take a lifetime off, please![2], and ... spin, ha![1], and I get DIZZY(!), as you know[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... - now! / It don't make it come quicker, no, but helps me/us forget ... for a while[1], and ... spin, ha![2], and can YOU(!) ... even think - ? Christ![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... - now! / It don't make it come quicker, no, but helps me/us forget ... for a while[2], and when finance is finished, oh, I can finish ... / I play my guitar and pray for that day[1], and can YOU(!) ... even think - ? Christ![2], and it's a disease, for you / ... and you've got the best armchair, no doubt, ha![1], and when finance is finished, oh, I can finish ... / I play my guitar and pray for that day[2], and, but, but, but ... come with me![1], and it's a disease, for you / ... and you've got the best armchair, no doubt, ha![2], and this journey lasts forever[1], and, but, but, but ... come with me![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Baby, can you dig it?[1], and this journey lasts forever[2], and give it your best shot[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Baby, can you dig it?[2], and, uh ... digging may be a bit strange in finance, but music?! / You just gotta look at cats like Keith Richards, man![1], and give it your best shot[2], and when I leave, you should leave[1], and, uh ... digging may be a bit strange in finance, but music?! / You just gotta look at cats like Keith Richards, man![2], and I've put my soul, my blood, my fire, on the line for COMPLETE STRANGERS, so ...[1], and when I leave, you should leave[2], and ... ah, what's it matter?![1], and I've put my soul, my blood, my fire, on the line for COMPLETE STRANGERS, so ...[2], and when money goes out of style, maybe I'll get some, yes, style, real style, rock and roll style[1], and ... ah, what's it matter?![2], and I'll pray for you[1], and when money goes out of style, maybe I'll get some, yes, style, real style, rock and roll style[2], and I'm dreaming of the day[3], and I'll pray for you[2], and, yes, Jesus, yes, Jesus, yes ... we all know, us people, how busy people ... like you ... actually are[3], and maybe you're stuck and loving it ...[3], and don't YOU(!) ... dream, eh?[3], and, oh, I know, I know, I know, yes, golf / but I think you can do better than that[3], and take a lifetime off, please![3], and I get DIZZY(!), as you know[3], and ... spin, ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... - now! / It don't make it come quicker, no, but helps me/us forget ... for a while[3], and can YOU(!) ... even think - ? Christ![3], and when finance is finished, oh, I can finish ... / I play my guitar and pray for that day[3], and it's a disease, for you / ... and you've got the best armchair, no doubt, ha![3], and, but, but, but ... come with me![3], and this journey lasts forever[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Baby, can you dig it?[3], and give it your best shot[3], and, uh ... digging may be a bit strange in finance, but music?! / You just gotta look at cats like Keith Richards, man![3], and when I leave, you should leave[3], and I've put my soul, my blood, my fire, on the line for COMPLETE STRANGERS, so ...[3], and ... ah, what's it matter?![3], and when money goes out of style, maybe I'll get some, yes, style, real style, rock and roll style[3], and I'll pray for you[3], and

And I'm dreaming of the day[1], and, yes, Jesus, yes, Jesus, yes ... we all know, us people, how busy people ... like you ... actually are[1], and I'm dreaming of the day[2], and maybe you're stuck and loving it ...[1], and, yes, Jesus, yes, Jesus, yes ... we all know, us people, how busy people ... like you ... actually are[2], and don't YOU(!) ... dream, eh?[1], and maybe you're stuck and loving it ...[2], and, oh, I know, I know, I know, yes, golf / but I think you can do better than that[1], and don't YOU(!) ... dream, eh?[2], and take a lifetime off, please![1], and, oh, I know, I know, I know, yes, golf / but I think you can do better than that[2], and I get DIZZY(!), as you know[1], and take a lifetime off, please![2], and ... spin, ha![1], and I get DIZZY(!), as you know[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... - now! / It don't make it come quicker, no, but helps me/us forget ... for a while[1], and ... spin, ha![2], and can YOU(!) ... even think - ? Christ![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... - now! / It don't make it come quicker, no, but helps me/us forget ... for a while[2], and when finance is finished, oh, I can finish ... / I play my guitar and pray for that day[1], and can YOU(!) ... even think - ? Christ![2], and it's a disease, for you / ... and you've got the best armchair, no doubt, ha![1], and when finance is finished, oh, I can finish ... / I play my guitar and pray for that day[2], and, but, but, but ... come with me![1], and it's a disease, for you / ... and you've got the best armchair, no doubt, ha![2], and this journey lasts forever[1], and, but, but, but ... come with me![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Baby, can you dig it?[1], and this journey lasts forever[2], and give it your best shot[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Baby, can you dig it?[2], and, uh ... digging may be a bit strange in finance, but music?! / You just gotta look at cats like Keith Richards, man![1], and give it your best shot[2], and when I leave, you should leave[1], and, uh ... digging may be a bit strange in finance, but music?! / You just gotta look at cats like Keith Richards, man![2], and I've put my soul, my blood, my fire, on the line for COMPLETE STRANGERS, so ...[1], and when I leave, you should leave[2], and ... ah, what's it matter?![1], and I've put my soul, my blood, my fire, on the line for COMPLETE STRANGERS, so ...[2], and when money goes out of style, maybe I'll get some, yes, style, real style, rock and roll style[1], and ... ah, what's it matter?![2], and I'll pray for you[1], and when money goes out of style, maybe I'll get some, yes, style, real style, rock and roll style[2], and I'm dreaming of the day[3], and I'll pray for you[2], and, yes, Jesus, yes, Jesus, yes ... we all know, us people, how busy people ... like you ... actually are[3], and maybe you're stuck and loving it ...[3], and don't YOU(!) ... dream, eh?[3], and, oh, I know, I know, I know, yes, golf / but I think you can do better than that[3], and take a lifetime off, please![3], and I get DIZZY(!), as you know[3], and ... spin, ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... - now! / It don't make it come quicker, no, but helps me/us forget ... for a while[3], and can YOU(!) ... even think - ? Christ![3], and when finance is finished, oh, I can finish ... / I play my guitar and pray for that day[3], and it's a disease, for you / ... and you've got the best armchair, no doubt, ha![3], and, but, but, but ... come with me![3], and this journey lasts forever[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Baby, can you dig it?[3], and give it your best shot[3], and, uh ... digging may be a bit strange in finance, but music?! / You just gotta look at cats like Keith Richards, man![3], and when I leave, you should leave[3], and I've put my soul, my blood, my fire, on the line for COMPLETE STRANGERS, so ...[3], and ... ah, what's it matter?![3], and when money goes out of style, maybe I'll get some, yes, style, real style, rock and roll style[3], and I'll pray for you[3], and

And I'm dreaming of the day[1], and, yes, Jesus, yes, Jesus, yes ... we all know, us people, how busy people ... like you ... actually are[1], and I'm dreaming of the day[2], and maybe you're stuck and loving it ...[1], and, yes, Jesus, yes, Jesus, yes ... we all know, us people, how busy people ... like you ... actually are[2], and don't YOU(!) ... dream, eh?[1], and maybe you're stuck and loving it ...[2], and, oh, I know, I know, I know, yes, golf / but I think you can do better than that[1], and don't YOU(!) ... dream, eh?[2], and take a lifetime off, please![1], and, oh, I know, I know, I know, yes, golf / but I think you can do better than that[2], and I get DIZZY(!), as you know[1], and take a lifetime off, please![2], and ... spin, ha![1], and I get DIZZY(!), as you know[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... - now! / It don't make it come quicker, no, but helps me/us forget ... for a while[1], and ... spin, ha![2], and can YOU(!) ... even think - ? Christ![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... - now! / It don't make it come quicker, no, but helps me/us forget ... for a while[2], and when finance is finished, oh, I can finish ... / I play my guitar and pray for that day[1], and can YOU(!) ... even think - ? Christ![2], and it's a disease, for you / ... and you've got the best armchair, no doubt, ha![1], and when finance is finished, oh, I can finish ... / I play my guitar and pray for that day[2], and, but, but, but ... come with me![1], and it's a disease, for you / ... and you've got the best armchair, no doubt, ha![2], and this journey lasts forever[1], and, but, but, but ... come with me![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Baby, can you dig it?[1], and this journey lasts forever[2], and give it your best shot[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Baby, can you dig it?[2], and, uh ... digging may be a bit strange in finance, but music?! / You just gotta look at cats like Keith Richards, man![1], and give it your best shot[2], and when I leave, you should leave[1], and, uh ... digging may be a bit strange in finance, but music?! / You just gotta look at cats like Keith Richards, man![2], and I've put my soul, my blood, my fire, on the line for COMPLETE STRANGERS, so ...[1], and when I leave, you should leave[2], and ... ah, what's it matter?![1], and I've put my soul, my blood, my fire, on the line for COMPLETE STRANGERS, so ...[2], and when money goes out of style, maybe I'll get some, yes, style, real style, rock and roll style[1], and ... ah, what's it matter?![2], and I'll pray for you[1], and when money goes out of style, maybe I'll get some, yes, style, real style, rock and roll style[2], and I'm dreaming of the day[3], and I'll pray for you[2], and, yes, Jesus, yes, Jesus, yes ... we all know, us people, how busy people ... like you ... actually are[3], and maybe you're stuck and loving it ...[3], and don't YOU(!) ... dream, eh?[3], and, oh, I know, I know, I know, yes, golf / but I think you can do better than that[3], and take a lifetime off, please![3], and I get DIZZY(!), as you know[3], and ... spin, ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... - now! / It don't make it come quicker, no, but helps me/us forget ... for a while[3], and can YOU(!) ... even think - ? Christ![3], and when finance is finished, oh, I can finish ... / I play my guitar and pray for that day[3], and it's a disease, for you / ... and you've got the best armchair, no doubt, ha![3], and, but, but, but ... come with me![3], and this journey lasts forever[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Baby, can you dig it?[3], and give it your best shot[3], and, uh ... digging may be a bit strange in finance, but music?! / You just gotta look at cats like Keith Richards, man![3], and when I leave, you should leave[3], and I've put my soul, my blood, my fire, on the line for COMPLETE STRANGERS, so ...[3], and ... ah, what's it matter?![3], and when money goes out of style, maybe I'll get some, yes, style, real style, rock and roll style[3], and I'll pray for you[3], and

China's banks are more valuable than America's

Or the bank "brands" are, anyway. Whatever that means. 'What's this, boss?' Oh, just some PR email, Voice, about bank brands. 'Another PR email?!' Yeah, uh, uh ... I'm too confused and lazy this morning to go looking for news. It's just my brain. Besides, I like this. It will upset Donald Trump.

Total value of Chinese bank brands surpasses that of US, brand study reveals. Wells Fargo loses its status as the world's most valuable banking brand. ICBC is now the world's most valuable, worth US$47.8bn after 32% growth.

For the very first time, the combined brand value of China's lenders has surpassed that of the United States. China's bank brands account for 24% (US$258 billion) of the total brand value of the Brand Finance Banking 500, while the US accounts for 23%. Every year, leading valuation and strategy consultancy Brand Finance values the brands of thousands of the world’s biggest companies. The results of this analysis are then ranked, with the world's 500 most valuable banking brands featured in the Brand Finance Banking 500.

Okay, okay. I wonder what the value of my "brand" is ... 'Eh?' My blog, and my image as the world's foremost financial shaman. 'I'm sure you could get a couple of quid.' Don't take the piss, man. It's taken me years to get where I am. 'And where's that?' Uh, well ... nowhere in particular. 'Ha!' But you just wait until I become the world's foremost rock and roll shaman! 'Okay.' Then we'll have some fun. 'Will I be involved?' Probably. I mean, I've tried a thousand times to get rid of you, Voice. It's no ... uh. 'The email.' All right. Yes, the email.

Brand Finance's CEO David Haigh states, "Chinese banks are being carried along in the slipstream of its industrial giants as they grow and expand into international markets. Facilitating international deals boosts revenues, but more importantly, enables the banks to build their reputations with potential clients across the world."

Okay, okay. There's a lot of it, this email. I'll just do bits. My head is in bits, you see? My soul. 'Bits of your head, your soul?' No. This. This fucking email! I want it to be over - NOW!

The success of the Chinese banks and ICBC in particular comes at the expense of Wells Fargo, which has lost its position as the world's most valuable banking brand. Wells Fargo has also been the architect of its own misfortune. Its fake accounts scandal has seen its reputation take a hit, with downgraded revenue forecasts contributing to a 6% brand value fall to US$41.6 billion.

I want finance ... to be over. Let it, let it, let it ... be over! Help me! Save us, Jesus H. - !

The situation for Europe's banks is worse still. The most valuable bank brands from the UK, France, Germany and Italy (HSBC, BNP Paribas, Deutsche Bank and Intesa Sanpaolo) have all declined in brand value. Deutsche has recently been hit with a US$7.2 billion bill to settle an investigation into its mortgage backed securities. 2016 also saw a 97% drop in profits and an individual bonus freeze for all VPs and MDs. Deutsche's torrid year was reflected in its brand value, which is down 41% to US$4.9 billion.

Ha! Worse still? They don't know how I'm feeling at this moment in time. They should count themselves lucky that they're not spiritual aristocrats and existentialists.

HSBC has declined by a less severe 5% to US$22.9 billion as it goes through a period of consolidation. At the domestic level, over a quarter of its UK branches have been closed in the last two years while internationally, HSBC's Brazilian business was sold to Bradesco. HSBC's marketing communications have shifted to reflect its more geographically concentrated approach. The 'World's Local Bank' message has been replaced with campaigns that now focus more on HSBC's role in facilitating personal and business ambitions.

And I don't want to hear any more. Voice, make it stop! 'The email?' Yes, the email. 'Well, stop quoting from it!' I can't. Please, take it away from me. Delete it. Do something! 'Christ! Hang on, boss!' ... / ... / ... Voice!!! ... //// ... 'It's gone!'

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you

...

Anything else? FFS! / ... / I don't know about you, reader(s), but I need some music. 'Yes!' / The demos of Live Forever and Smells Like Teen Spirit. / ... / Nirvana sound very rough. You can hardly make the song out. And the lyrics aren't complete. [It doesn't matter, I suppose. It's grunge.] / Now ... I'm listening to one of mine, Lucky You. [There are a few songs with that title. It doesn't matter, I know.] / ... / Well, it's much better than the songs from the old demo, but only the third best song ... on the new demo. There are .. four songs. Uh, soon. 'Yes!' But I'm worried about my teeth, actually. 'Oh.'

Laters.

The Virtual Technology Cluster Group is raising capital

Yippee! Good luck to them! / Yes, dear reader(s), it's the Wednesday morning PR email, back by popular demand. 'Er ... Wednesday morning? What time is it, boss? I got Tuesday night.' I'll be posting it around 1.00am, Voice. If it's any of your business, of course. 'Okay. Writing in the middle of the night again. I'm glad you've got Apollo on.' Well, the night time is the right time, man.

But let's do this!

London, 31 January 2017 - The Virtual Technology Cluster Group ("The VTC Group"), which connects small innovative companies with blue chip organizations seeking innovation, is raising capital to support the high growth businesses within its network. By working with SMEs, the VTC Group is a key asset in helping them expand as it gains a deep insight into the models, IP, management and commercial opportunities of these companies.

Okay. Just one thing. Is "Cluster" a good idea? I mean, for a firm's name. 'Not really, boss. What were you going to call your firm?' Are you talking about the hedge fund I was thinking of? 'Yeah.' Fowke Shitshow Capital. 'Ha! Not good.' No. Fowke Capital sounds better. 'Much better!' Personally, if this were my firm ... The Virtual Technology Group. You dig? 'Yeah.' But it's their firm. Let them have it their own way. / So ...

The VTC Group is raising capital through Funderbeam in Estonia, the world's first primary and secondary marketplace for early-stage investments secured by blockchain. This capital raise, the first step in a long-term partnership with Funderbeam, will allow the VTC Group to help its SME members raise their own investment on Funderbeam and, in doing so, offer access to a growing global investor base via a 24/7 borderless liquid marketplace.

Funderbeam? Christ! Whatever.

This new business model, which enables SMEs to access investment and achieve liquidity for their shareholders, is built on the ongoing success of the VTC Group's cluster model. The VTC Group has also agreed a pilot scheme with a global pharmaceutical company to find innovative technology-enabled solutions to fast-track innovation from its supply chain.

Fine. Perfectly fine. / Uh, I wonder how Auriol Stevens feels about it all. If only there was a way to find out. 'Boss.' I guess we'll never know. 'Boss!' It's a shame really. 'For crying out loud! Boss!!!' What, man?! 'This -'

Commenting, Auriol Stevens, CEO, VTC Group said: "Our new model is going to allow us to create real value  for growth companies, for blue chips, for UK PLC, for our investors, and for us. By connecting small companies with corporate opportunities, we have a unique insight into their businesses and we are going to use this to stimulate growth. We are very excited to be raising capital on Funderbeam's innovative platform - a perfect demonstration of how technology is changing every aspect of business. With the growing adoption of our cluster methodology and new governmental contracts, 2017 will be a very busy year."

Right. Okay. Yeah, thanks for that, Voice. I must have missed it. 'What would you do without me, eh?' Well, I'd probably have a quieter life, for starters.

...

Anything else? Music? I've got Oxygene on now, for my sins. 'Ha!' It's all right, I suppose. Most Seventies electronic music has aged badly, I feel. 'Bowie and Eno are still all right.' Of course they are! I'm thinking of acts like Tangerine Dream.

Anyway. Laters.