Goldman Sachs has $170 billion lying around that it doesn't need. The bank can't give the money away! Can you believe it? Can I believe it? I could, if I were half insane, drugged by love, lost in the flesh of my visions.
Anyway, I have been speaking to my old boss Lloyd Blankfein. This is what he had to say for himself and the bank he's in charge of: 'Mikey, Viniar wanted to speak to you. Why won't you speak with him? (He's a thug, Lloyd.) Oh, he's not that bad. (He's an animal. Now, what are you going to do with all this excessive money you have?) Well, Viniar wanted to spend it on loans, real estate, stuff like that. (That's a bit boring, isn't it?) Yeah, so I came up with a better idea. (Lay it on me, baby.) See if you can dig this, Mikey. We're going to build a shamanic meditation centre and mystical retreat out in the Mojave desert. (I'm not sure you should specify which desert, Lloyd.) Okay. The desert. Just out in the desert. The desert of our - (That's enough!) You get the picture. (Yes, I get the picture, but I don't see it making much of a dent in the $170 billion.) It's gonna be a big place, Mike. Individual rooms for all our employees. Servants. Fine wines. Caviar. Gold taps in the bathrooms. You wait - (Lloyd, I think you've got the wrong idea.) What do you mean? (You haven't spent any time in the desert, have you?) I leave that to our shamans. (Right. And haven't they told you that they either sleep in caves or sleep out in the open, beneath the moon?) Beneath the ...? (Beneath the moon, Lloyd. With an old blanket.) With an old f**king blanket?! (It's what they're trained for. It's what they expect. I can't see all your employees taking to the lifestyle.) It's only going to be for the occasional weekend. (With servants! And gold taps!) We have certain standards. (Speak to your shamans, Lloyd. It's not the way things are done.) An old f**king blanket?! (It's not all about the money.) You're a financial shaman! (It's a spiritual discipline. We reach for the money. We burn the money, and burn with it. The ultimate prize is the life beyond money.) Are you out of your f**king mind? The life beyond money?! Is this a f**king joke? (Lloyd, what do you think mystical capitalism is all about?) This is a real shock. (Why did Goldman get in so deep, deeper than any other bank?) I thought it was a new scam. (Speak to your shamans, Lloyd.) Oh, I will, Mikey. You better believe it!'
Jesus H. Christ. Lloyd doesn't know what's going on in his own friggin' bank! I just hope he doesn't pull the plug. I doubt he will. Goldman is in too deep now, and it has made a lot of money as a direct result of my (and my associates) involvement and influence. The bank just hasn't gone beyond money yet. Well, there's no shame in that, is there? Who has?
Anyway, I have been speaking to my old boss Lloyd Blankfein. This is what he had to say for himself and the bank he's in charge of: 'Mikey, Viniar wanted to speak to you. Why won't you speak with him? (He's a thug, Lloyd.) Oh, he's not that bad. (He's an animal. Now, what are you going to do with all this excessive money you have?) Well, Viniar wanted to spend it on loans, real estate, stuff like that. (That's a bit boring, isn't it?) Yeah, so I came up with a better idea. (Lay it on me, baby.) See if you can dig this, Mikey. We're going to build a shamanic meditation centre and mystical retreat out in the Mojave desert. (I'm not sure you should specify which desert, Lloyd.) Okay. The desert. Just out in the desert. The desert of our - (That's enough!) You get the picture. (Yes, I get the picture, but I don't see it making much of a dent in the $170 billion.) It's gonna be a big place, Mike. Individual rooms for all our employees. Servants. Fine wines. Caviar. Gold taps in the bathrooms. You wait - (Lloyd, I think you've got the wrong idea.) What do you mean? (You haven't spent any time in the desert, have you?) I leave that to our shamans. (Right. And haven't they told you that they either sleep in caves or sleep out in the open, beneath the moon?) Beneath the ...? (Beneath the moon, Lloyd. With an old blanket.) With an old f**king blanket?! (It's what they're trained for. It's what they expect. I can't see all your employees taking to the lifestyle.) It's only going to be for the occasional weekend. (With servants! And gold taps!) We have certain standards. (Speak to your shamans, Lloyd. It's not the way things are done.) An old f**king blanket?! (It's not all about the money.) You're a financial shaman! (It's a spiritual discipline. We reach for the money. We burn the money, and burn with it. The ultimate prize is the life beyond money.) Are you out of your f**king mind? The life beyond money?! Is this a f**king joke? (Lloyd, what do you think mystical capitalism is all about?) This is a real shock. (Why did Goldman get in so deep, deeper than any other bank?) I thought it was a new scam. (Speak to your shamans, Lloyd.) Oh, I will, Mikey. You better believe it!'
Jesus H. Christ. Lloyd doesn't know what's going on in his own friggin' bank! I just hope he doesn't pull the plug. I doubt he will. Goldman is in too deep now, and it has made a lot of money as a direct result of my (and my associates) involvement and influence. The bank just hasn't gone beyond money yet. Well, there's no shame in that, is there? Who has?
