Wednesday, 13 February 2019

EISA opens 25th anniversary celebrations at House of Lords

Ah, Christ ... now, what did I say, Voice? What did I tell them, the PR guys? 'You told them you didn't want any follow-up emails about this EISA event at the House of Lords, boss.' And why not? 'Because they didn't invite you, and you were a bit pissed off about it.' Thank you, Voice. / So, uh ... they've sent me a follow-up email, dear reader(s).

Hi Michael,

I hope you are well. Do let me know if this would be of interest to you.

The 14th EIS Association Annual Awards took place last week at the House of Lords. The Awards denote excellence in a number of EIS and SEIS fields. The Awards were presented to firms, advisers, companies, individuals and journalists that achieved outstanding performance in the context of the EIS & SEIS schemes during 2018.

Once again, Chairman of EISA, Lord Howard Flight, hosted the reception at The Cholmondeley Room in The House of Lords. The guest speaker on the evening was Loyd Grossman CBE, Chairman of The Heritage Alliance.

Okay, okay. WHY WOULD I BE WELL?! Can you think of any reasons why I would be well, kook(s)? 'Listen, boss. You didn't even want to go.' That's not the point! 'Oh.' The point is, they didn't invite me to the event, and yet they expect me to write about it. Like I'm some sort of submissive gimp. Do you know what I mean? Well, I refuse! I absolutely refuse!

The winners of the awards announced on the night:

Er ... I'm not interested. What is it with these guys? They're telling me about the "winners" now. Well, let me be the judge of who's a winner or a loser in this life. My ideas are a bit different. 'A lot different.' Yes.

Best EIS Fund Manager/Sponsor - Parkwalk Advisors.

I've never even heard of Parkwalk Advisors! 'You have now, boss.' Oh, I have now.

Best SEIS Fund Manager - Deepbridge Capital.

Oh dear. Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Best EIS/SEIS Tax Adviser - Shoosmiths.

Really? Best tax adviser? Is that something to be proud of? 'It's not exactly the Oscars, is it?' No. Ha! Not exactly. 'Boss, why are you giving these people the oxygen of publicity?' Ha! Because ... I've got a big heart, I'm a nice guy, I feel a bit sorry for them - their lives can't be easy, and I haven't got anything else to write about.

Okay, okay. I'm not doing all of these. I shouldn't be doing any, after the shocking way I've been treated. Just this one more -

Best EIS/SEIS Journalist - James Hurley - The Times.

Yeah, well done, James, mate! I bet you're on cloud nine now ... or something.

I'll tell you what, kook(s), I'm going to let Mark Brownridge have the final say. 'Don't, boss! He doesn't deserve it. FFS!' No, no. I want to display my superiority, Voice, the way Julius Caesar used to. I'm not going to hold a grudge. Let people behave the way they want to behave. I'm determined to stay my usual self. Aloof. Imperious. Nothing can touch me!

Mark Brownridge, Director General of EISA commented, "Our first event in the 25th year of EIS at the House of Lords was a fantastic success. We were honoured to have Loyd Grossman CBE give a great speech and we heard some of the best EIS success stories from the last quarter of the century. The award winners and nominees all display the best of EIS, and we would like to thank our judges and sponsors for supporting this years' EISA awards."

Right. Thank you, Mark.


Anything else, kook(s)? Not much, no. I might try recording my songs again tonight. I have some new Elixir strings on, but they're already over the thirty-hour mark, so ... you know how it is. I could wait until the weekend with more new strings, like I’m made of money. Jesus H. - !!! Never mind.