Monday, 25 February 2019

I've been invited to summit in Manchester

I don't know what exactly, dear reader(s), but I can't go. I can't travel all the way up to Manchester. 'What have you been invited to, boss?' Summit in Manchester, Voice. 'Yes, we know that, but what exactly?' I don't know. Just summit. It's a PR email. 'Okay. But they wouldn't invite you without telling you what it is, would they?' It's summit, Voice. 'Christ! I know it's something, Boss! I know! But what is it about? FFS!' Summit about a growth stage. 'Eh?' Look -

The Growth Stage - the world's first and only regulated, membership only funding platform for institutional investors and growth-stage private companies, hosts the first in a series of international scale-up summits in Manchester. Launched in partnership with 10 of the world's leading professional advisers, including EY and WeWork, the summit will provide an opportunity for private companies, who are in a scale-up phase, to discuss - with a leading panel - the issues affecting them currently. In addition to hearing insights relevant to the scale-up community, speakers will specifically address challenges surrounding funding for growth and finance and potential solutions offered by institutional investors supporting The Growth Stage.

You see, Voice? 'Yeah.' It's tomorrow night. I can't go, man. I'm busy. 'Never mind, boss.' It's a shame, but ... 'There will be other summits, I'm sure.' Other what? 'Other summits.' Okay. Yeah, there's always something. / Anyway, there's a lot of this email, dear kook(s). I think we'll go straight to Margot -

The Rt Hon Margot James, the UK's Digital Minister, commenting on The Growth Stage's role in the UK's scale-up community said today: "It is great to see The Growth Stage connecting investors and tech start-ups in the Northern Powerhouse of Manchester. The UK has a consistent track record of producing successful tech companies and attracting record levels of venture capital investment from across the world. But it is vital this upward trajectory is maintained as we work to make the UK the best place to start and grow a digital business."

Northern Powerhouse of Manchester?! Just say "Manchester", Margot, FFS! You don't hear me calling St Ives the "South Western Paradise of St Ives", do you? 'Ha! You should though, boss. It might catch on.' Yeah, yeah.

Jon Reddington? Er, no, no. No! We're not interested in him. Oh, Simon Stewart! Come on, son!

Simon Stewart, Co-Founder and CEO, The Growth Stage, said: "The UK's scale-up system requires urgent appraisal and reform, institutional investors require confidential privileged company access to premium deal flow, and equally, the UK's tier 1 high-growth businesses need to gain vital access to institutional investment and strategic, relevant counsel. A global platform enabling institutional investors and private growth companies to meet, and funds to be raised at low cost didn't exist, and this is exactly why we have created The Growth Stage and subsequently the summit series. We hope that by reaching out to the regions, we will be able to partner Britain's buoyant business landscape and institutional investors."

Okay, okay. Thanks, Simon!



Anything else? Well, uh ... I'm in a strange mood. Not depressed like last week. [I can't explain last week. I rarely get depressed these days.] I ain't got no anxiety either, uh, neither, which makes a nice change. It's just a strange mood, man.

I want ...

I can't tell you!