Monday 15 April 2019

Golf

Yeah, yeah. They're investing in golf now. 'Who is, boss?!' It doesn't matter, Voice. But it might be good timing because Tiger Woods won yesterday. I knew he would, and not just yesterday. Uh. I mean, the last few years, dear reader(s), I've been thinking that Tiger would win another major, maybe a few more. 'Why? Because he's so talented?' No. Talent has got nothing to do with it. 'Oh.' Because of his personality, and his will, man.

Anyway, what are we dealing with here?

IW Capital invests £1million in PlayMoreGolf - a flexible golf membership service making it cheaper and easier to play golf.

Okay, okay. Well, I'm not interested in golf, but - 'Your readers love golf, boss!' Of course they do! They're either managing funds or playing golf. That's their life. Jesus H. - !!!

Hi Michael

I hope that you are well. I thought this might be of interest to you. If you have any additional questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.


No, I'm not interested in golf, James. But, uh ...

Mayfair-based alternative finance house IW Capital has today announced an investment in PlayMoreGolf. PlayMoreGolf is the first flexible golf membership linking individual golf clubs across the United Kingdom under one membership providing an alternative to golfers who may not be able to justify the expense of a full golf membership but desire more choice, more value, more flexibility and more convenience whilst enjoying the benefits of golf club membership. The EIS qualifying investment of £1 million will be used to accelerate growth through the recruitment of additional staff, focused on sales and marketing.

Okay, okay. No endorsement, obviously. 'Obviously, boss. You hate golf.' I don't hate golf, Voice.

However, I'm putting myself out for my readers. They love golf, and I love them.

Let's hear from Luke -

Luke Davis, CEO and Founder of IW Capital, comments on the announcement: "The funding provides a major boost to a well-established, UK company to help expand its international scalability. We are thrilled to be able to help PlayMoreGolf take the next step in their growth through our EIS qualifying equity offering."

Thrilled. Okay, okay. 'Alastair, boss?' What about him? 'He wants to ... make a comment.' Does he? That's nice. 'Come on! He'll get upset.' All right.

Alastair Sinclair, CEO of PlayMoreGolf comments: "This investment marks a significant milestone in PlayMoreGolf's growth to date, signifying not only the scale of the market, but our role in this wider context. We're keen to ensure that the new investment manifests into some truly exciting developments."

Truly exciting developments? With golf?! Whatever.

ENDS

...

Anything else? Yes. Yes. Well, I've been thinking ... when I become a rock star, people might want me to talk about and "explain" the millions of words on this blog. 'Millions?' Yes, including the conceptual stuff. 'Oh, right.' But, listen! I won't. I won't explain. I'll just abandon the blog, and then let everyone make of it what they will. 'Like Rimbaud.' Well, maybe. I mean, Rimbaud abandoned literature for a life of business failure, despair, and ... an early death. 'Christ!' Yeah, I don't want all that, man. However, he did seem to disown his past, so ... 'But won't you update the blog, occasionally, like?' Well, maybe, uh ... tour details, new album news, etc. 'Okay, okay. But ... what the fuck will I do?! I'll be out of a job, boss!' Ha! You can come with me into the rock and roll scene. Like that old Native American spirit guide that Jim Morrison had. 'Brilliant!' Yeah, but you've got to be ... careful. 'What do you mean?' I mean, when I'm on stage, I don't want you suddenly appearing beside me, egging me on to scream, "YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING SLAVES - !!!". 'Ha!' You dig? I'm serious. 'Oh, okay.' Let's be sensible about it. I want to entertain the fans, and make a living. FFS!

Okay. Later(s), kook(s)!