Whatever next?! The whole world has gone insane!
New cashierless stores looked set to save retailers millions. Now the home delivery expert ParcelHero warns a move to protect low income households could stop Amazon Go-style till-free stores.
Now, I like Jinksy, but I don't agree with him here. 'Why not, boss?' Because people need jobs, Voice. 'Ha! I've got a job. You don't pay me.' Shut up!
New legislation protecting minorities could stop the spread of cashierless stores in the UK before they have been fully launched.
Minorities?! All people want to use shops that have staff. 'Except hipsters, boss.' Oh, fuck those guys! Seriously!
New till-free stores could be the saviour of the UK's town centres, saving High Street retailers millions of pounds; but in a new twist to the Battle of the High Street, the e-commerce delivery export ParcelHero is warning a decision to ban cashless stores in Philadelphia could mean a full stop for Amazon Go and other pioneering till-less stores.
Tough! Let's stop thinking about these hellish high street retailers. Let's start thinking about people!
Cashierless stores, based on the technology behind e-commerce payments, could help High Street stores regain ground lost against online retailers. With the likes of Tesco and the Co-op trialling the new technology, and Amazon reportedly planning to introduce its Amazon Go stores in the UK, cashierless stores had looked set to come to the rescue of Britain's beleaguered town centres.
Christ! Amazon is out of control! 'What does Jinksy say, boss?' Uh. Let's find out -
But ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT, is warning: "Fears that cashierless stores could disproportionally affect minorities from low-income households, who don't have smart phones or online bank access, have led the American city of Philadelphia to pass a ban on all cashless stores - including till-less shops. And it's a move that could be followed across the USA and on this side of the Atlantic."
Yes, we know that, Jinksy. But what's your view of it? 'Tell us!' Come on, son!
[PR email. There's a lot of it.]
Right, okay. Blah, blah, blah. Yes, okay. Oh, here -
Concludes David: "The UK Government has shown itself to be very resistant to any change to retail practice that might impact on the elderly and disadvantaged. In many ways this is, of course, laudable; but it could mean cashierless trials being held by well-known stores such as Tesco and the Co-op could run into trouble at a very early stage."
How about the staff? The staff, Jinksy!
"With High Street stores fighting for their lives, the benefits of queue-free shopping and the considerable savings in wages cashierless stores offer retailers are exactly what is needed. But if the Philadelphia experiment of banning such stores spreads to the UK, that would spell the end of these trials."
Oh, I don't know. I just don't know. He doesn't seem concerned about millions of people losing their jobs. 'Shame.' And with the nutty Brexit we've got coming ... ? We're all doomed!
ENDS
For real!
...
Anything else? Music? My music? I'm going to stop doing music updates, dear reader(s). 'Ha!' This is a finance blog. 'Ha!' Shut up, Voice. Please. You're not as clever as you think you are. 'Oh.' In fact, you're an idiot. Leave me alone!
Right. My songs, kook(s). I wrote last week about wanting twenty-five of these, uh ... "world-beater" things to make myself the greatest ever songwriter. [I've already got five.] A lovely ambition, obviously, but it will take years. So, it occurred to me this weekend that having just ten of these songs would make me one of the four greatest songwriters. [The other three being Bob Dylan, John Lennon, and Paul McCartney.] I've got a lot on my plate at the moment - rehearsing and trying to record, as well as this awful blogging - but I'm going to try and get another five as soon as possible. [Before the end of summer ... ?] It will make me feel better about myself and my situation ... even if the world isn't aware of the achievement. 'Brilliant idea, Mikey!' Yeah. / The beautiful thing is, there's no need to write hundreds of songs, man. Let's be honest: most songs aren't all that. Truly great songs are rare.
Okay, okay. David Gray? I discovered his song Fugitive at the weekend. [He wrote it with a couple of other guys.] I tweeted it. I think it's his best song. It's one of his two bread-and-butter classics. The other is Babylon. [Bread-and-butter classics are the class of song below world-beaters and above good songs. According to me, like.] Anyway, I was shocked that this song didn't even get in the charts when it was released as a single. The moral of the story? Write world-beaters, my friend(s). Write a lot of them!
Laters.
New cashierless stores looked set to save retailers millions. Now the home delivery expert ParcelHero warns a move to protect low income households could stop Amazon Go-style till-free stores.
Now, I like Jinksy, but I don't agree with him here. 'Why not, boss?' Because people need jobs, Voice. 'Ha! I've got a job. You don't pay me.' Shut up!
New legislation protecting minorities could stop the spread of cashierless stores in the UK before they have been fully launched.
Minorities?! All people want to use shops that have staff. 'Except hipsters, boss.' Oh, fuck those guys! Seriously!
New till-free stores could be the saviour of the UK's town centres, saving High Street retailers millions of pounds; but in a new twist to the Battle of the High Street, the e-commerce delivery export ParcelHero is warning a decision to ban cashless stores in Philadelphia could mean a full stop for Amazon Go and other pioneering till-less stores.
Tough! Let's stop thinking about these hellish high street retailers. Let's start thinking about people!
Cashierless stores, based on the technology behind e-commerce payments, could help High Street stores regain ground lost against online retailers. With the likes of Tesco and the Co-op trialling the new technology, and Amazon reportedly planning to introduce its Amazon Go stores in the UK, cashierless stores had looked set to come to the rescue of Britain's beleaguered town centres.
Christ! Amazon is out of control! 'What does Jinksy say, boss?' Uh. Let's find out -
But ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT, is warning: "Fears that cashierless stores could disproportionally affect minorities from low-income households, who don't have smart phones or online bank access, have led the American city of Philadelphia to pass a ban on all cashless stores - including till-less shops. And it's a move that could be followed across the USA and on this side of the Atlantic."
Yes, we know that, Jinksy. But what's your view of it? 'Tell us!' Come on, son!
[PR email. There's a lot of it.]
Right, okay. Blah, blah, blah. Yes, okay. Oh, here -
Concludes David: "The UK Government has shown itself to be very resistant to any change to retail practice that might impact on the elderly and disadvantaged. In many ways this is, of course, laudable; but it could mean cashierless trials being held by well-known stores such as Tesco and the Co-op could run into trouble at a very early stage."
How about the staff? The staff, Jinksy!
"With High Street stores fighting for their lives, the benefits of queue-free shopping and the considerable savings in wages cashierless stores offer retailers are exactly what is needed. But if the Philadelphia experiment of banning such stores spreads to the UK, that would spell the end of these trials."
Oh, I don't know. I just don't know. He doesn't seem concerned about millions of people losing their jobs. 'Shame.' And with the nutty Brexit we've got coming ... ? We're all doomed!
ENDS
For real!
...
Anything else? Music? My music? I'm going to stop doing music updates, dear reader(s). 'Ha!' This is a finance blog. 'Ha!' Shut up, Voice. Please. You're not as clever as you think you are. 'Oh.' In fact, you're an idiot. Leave me alone!
Right. My songs, kook(s). I wrote last week about wanting twenty-five of these, uh ... "world-beater" things to make myself the greatest ever songwriter. [I've already got five.] A lovely ambition, obviously, but it will take years. So, it occurred to me this weekend that having just ten of these songs would make me one of the four greatest songwriters. [The other three being Bob Dylan, John Lennon, and Paul McCartney.] I've got a lot on my plate at the moment - rehearsing and trying to record, as well as this awful blogging - but I'm going to try and get another five as soon as possible. [Before the end of summer ... ?] It will make me feel better about myself and my situation ... even if the world isn't aware of the achievement. 'Brilliant idea, Mikey!' Yeah. / The beautiful thing is, there's no need to write hundreds of songs, man. Let's be honest: most songs aren't all that. Truly great songs are rare.
Okay, okay. David Gray? I discovered his song Fugitive at the weekend. [He wrote it with a couple of other guys.] I tweeted it. I think it's his best song. It's one of his two bread-and-butter classics. The other is Babylon. [Bread-and-butter classics are the class of song below world-beaters and above good songs. According to me, like.] Anyway, I was shocked that this song didn't even get in the charts when it was released as a single. The moral of the story? Write world-beaters, my friend(s). Write a lot of them!
Laters.
