Monday 11 June 2007

Make money on the astral plane

Forget about the internet and the stock market. If you want to make big money head straight for the astral plane.

As everyone knows, the astral plane is where all the spirits and thought-forms hang out. But how many people know there is a fortune to be made there? Er, there's me, and now you because I've just told you. So, at least two people then. But how long will it be before the astral plane is absolutely crawling with fortune hunters trying to make a quick buck? I predict it will be worse than the California Gold Rush. That's why we must act quickly. There is no time to lose.

This is what I suggest you do, and if it works out I will follow you if I feel up to it. Lie down in a darkened room where you know you won't be disturbed. Close your eyes and then imagine you are walking on a sandy beach. This beach is on the astral plane in your subconscious, apparently. Anyway, far off in the distance you can see an object, but you can't make out what it is. You run towards the object, and it turns out to be a treasure chest. You look around you, but you can't see any pirates - thank goodness. You lift the lid of the chest and look inside, and you find gold coins, diamonds, pearls, all kinds of shit.

Now open your eyes. The treasure chest should be lying next to you in the room. And I want 20 per cent of it, by the way.