Thursday 16 April 2009

Hyde Park

What? Why have I written a post about Hyde Park? Don't be silly. HYDE PARK ASSET MANAGEMENT! Yes, that is the name of John Duffield's new venture. John is back from the desert.

I spoke to John earlier this morning, and this is what he told me: 'Mikey, man, I'm back. Back from the desert. (How did it go?) Oh man, what an experience! (Good, eh?) Michael, let me tell you, I'm a changed man. I've never felt so alive. My chakras are in beautiful condition. And my aura? (What about your aura, John?) You wouldn't believe me if I told you. (That good, eh?) Yes. (Bloody hell.) Yeah, Mike. Why didn't I do this before? Why wasn't I a desert man in my youth? (You were a square, John. And you know how many squares there are in the financial world.) But not me, man! Not any more. I've been reborn. I've felt the fire of holy cash. I've danced with the dead financiers. I have even spoken with Big Herb. (Get the fuck outta here!) No, it's true, Mike. He spoke to me. I was wandering one night, beneath the stars, in the moonlight, the desert wind was caressing me, tousling my hair, and I heard a voice. (Yeah?) Oh yeah. The voice spake unto me: O John, John, you must return to the City. Go back to wealth management. (Get the fuck outta here! Are you for real, John?) I swear to you, Michael. It was Big Herb. (How do you know it was him? Could have been Ganesh.) No, man, it was the big money god. You just know, you know? (I suppose.) So here I am. (Back in the City.) Back in the City, man. (Good luck, John.) Thanks, Mike.'

John Duffield, eh? What a guy!