Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Lloyds shares 37p each!

A guest post by a mystic child.

Yes, I'm afraid the Master is all fucked in the head after last night's debacle. This is what it means to be a shaman. Not really a career option for the faint of heart, is it?

Anyway, it's down to me to hold the fort yet again. Do you know that Lloyds has launched a £13.5 billion rights issue? Current investors will be able to get shares at only 37p each. That's a big discount. Close to 40 per cent!

Now, how does this work? Am I expected to wax lyrical about cheap burning shares floating in the astral sky of our subconscious? Well, I can do that. It's not a problem.

Oh, there are burning shares in the astral sky of our subconscious! Lloyds will dilute our love and spread it thin over our faces. But there is a discount. So why should anyone worry? It's the communists we must watch. They still own 43 per cent of the bank. Oh, when will we shake them off, these monsters? Let's burn them! The kind of burning that ends in ashes! One day we will settle their hash(es?).

That'll do. It's not as if I'm getting paid for this shit.