Monday, 22 March 2010

Michael Castellano is retiring from Lazard

Mikey Castellano, chief financial officer at Lazard, will retire at the end of March - next year!

Next year? So why is it being announced now?

Well, because his replacement, Matthieu Bucaille, needs time to get to grips with financial shamanism. You see, Mikey Castellano is an accomplished shaman. Almost in my league. Almost. And Matthieu, well, there's no polite way of saying it: he knows fuck all about the shamanism game.

I have been speaking to Mikey, and this is what he said: 'Mikey, I've got to train the bastard up. (Matthieu?) Yeah. He's hopeless. Lazard really needs a financial shaman as its chief financial officer - especially in this climate - and Matthieu just doesn't cut it, I'm afraid. (So why is Lazard giving him the job, Mikey?) Mikey, I don't know. It's politics, isn't it? Obviously someone is mad about him. Someone thinks he's hot shit. But he doesn't know his aura from his asshole. So I'm stuck with him, for a whole year. (What a way to spend the last year of your career!) Tell me about it, Mikey. And Christ knows what he'll be like on the plane. The place is stuffed with amateurs as it is.'

Yes, I've noticed that. There have been a lot of day trippers on the astral plane lately. Spurred on by this blog of mine, no doubt.