Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Jason Brown wants to get some money out of Blackstone for his hedge fund

Millions of dollars, no doubt. / Oh, we all want to get our hands on other people's money, Jason. I want to live in Malibu, son, bankrolled by Blackstone (or some other gullible alternative investments giant), but life's a shithouse. / These nutjobs ... / I bet Blackstone gives him the money as well - for his Arkkan Capital Management, in Hong Kong, of all places. / This Jason used to be a trader at Goldman Sachs. Oh, surprise, surprise. (They all work at Goldman, and then they don't like it no more, as if the grass is greener or something.) / Obviously, I've taken a good look at his LinkedIn profile, but I'm starting to think that some of these profiles aren't genuine. What does he do for a living? Well, it just says Jason Brown, hedge fund founder. Does that sound right to you, dear reader(s)? It might as well say Jason Brown, space cadet. And he's only got two contacts! Not exactly Mr Popular, is he? Keith Busby has got more contacts than that.

It goes without saying that Jason wants to get back in touch; which really annoys me because I've never been in touch with him (to the best of my knowledge). Not once! 'No?' / Well ... It could have been in a dream, I suppose. Astral shit. I shouldn't rule it out, the possibility. I mean, I used to meet all kinds of crazies on the plane in the old days. 2008, 2009. When the world was young. 'Ah! - ?' Ah, the apple trees! 'Yeah, the apple trees, Mikey. Blossoms in the breeze.' Ah ... the blood and fire, Voice. The carefree days of youth. / Never mind. I'm happier now, anyway. Stronger, and more motivated. Ready for any challenge. 'Really?' I played my guitar for five hours yesterday. 'Five hours?!' Yeah, man. 'Wow! Er ... are you thinking big, boss, or is it just my imagination?' Ha! Not only am I thinking big, Voice, but I'm kicking ass, and I'm taking names, too. 'Jesus!' Oh, you better believe it, boy! Jesus, Jimi, Ziggy ... I'm taking them all on.

[And good luck, Jason! Keep thinking big, like me and Donald.]


Anything else? Cheap egg sandwich, rain, half a packet of Jaffa Cakes, more guitar ... / Er ... yeah, laters.