Wednesday 10 January 2018

Terry Smith made £8 million last year!

Right. When was the last time I wrote about Terry Smith? 'Are you asking me?' Er, not really, Voice, but go on, tell me. 'I don't know, boss. Years ago.' Yeah, that's what I thought. Years ago. He's still got that Fundsmith of his, dear reader(s). Profits tripled last year, and our Terry took home £8 million. I wonder what he'll spend it all on ... 'Maybe he'll buy an old Spitfire and do it up.' Why?! 'He's that sort, boss.' Oh, okay.

Well, I wish him the best of luck, anyway. Terry is based in Mauritius. Was he always there? 'No.' When did he move? 'How on earth should I know, man?!' Yeah, yeah. Obviously, it is difficult keeping up with the movements of these people. I hope the weather's nice for Terry. He wouldn't like it back here in the wind and rain.

All the bloody austerity. Christ! And then there's Brexit, obviously. 'Obviously.' Apparently, David Davis is upset now because the European Union is preparing for a no deal Brexit. 'Er ... isn't the British government preparing for a no deal Brexit, boss?' Yes, Voice, it is. 'So ...er ...' Let me explain, man. Our government want cake. They want lots of it. And they want to eat it. 'Oh.' All washed down with the finest wines available to humanity. 'Oh, okay.' They're not drunk. They're multi-millionaires.

...

Anything else? No. I don't think so. I'm still waiting for some decent news, truth be told. Or a decent PR email. 'You had that Coutts one.' Yes, but not much else. 'What about Jinksy?' Ha! Forget Jinksy! He's a nutcase. Seriously. His deep love of parcels has driven him insane.

Obviously, well, not obviously, but, uh ... I'll be writing a conceptual later. 'What number are we up to now, Mikey?' What number am I up to? No. 577, I believe. 'Nice.' Yes. It's very nice, Voice, reader(s), spinner(s). Or it will be, later.

Laters!