Monday, 29 June 2009

Imara Asset Management: Zimbabwe Value fund!

It has just been brought to my attention by some nutjobs that there is some crazy firm called Imara Asset Management that has a fund called the Zimbabwe Value fund! Yes, it's true. These crazy cats are going to invest in Zimbabwe! You know, gold, diamonds, shit like that. Well, I admire them. I really do. These guys are living on the edge, man.

O Master, isn't it a bit risky?

O my child, as I said, they are living on the edge. You got a problem with that?

Well …

Jesus H. Christ! Let me tell you about risky, my child. Risky, man, risky is going on to the astral plane without a white sheet or shades. That's risky! I put my life on the line every day.

No one's asking you to do that though, are they?


It was your choice, Master. Everyone told you it was dangerous. You knew that Jack Pickles would take advantage of the situation and try to attack you.

But he hasn't attacked me.

Not yet.

You worry too much, my child. That's your problem. Nietzsche said we should build our homes on the sides of volcanoes. Live dangerously!

And you live in West London, don't you?


Well, how many fucking volcanoes have you got in West London? I know Maurice lives in Acton. There's a hill there. Acton Hill. I remember the Acton Hill cafe. That's gone now. But there is no fucking volcano!

Nietzsche wasn't speaking literally, you prick! And watch your attitude with me.

What do you mean?

You know what I mean. For fuck's sake! I was in a good mood this morning.