Monday, 8 June 2009

Michael Fowke talks to Pierre Lagrange

Yes, he does. Michael Fowke talks to him. Who is he? Michael Fowke is the author of this blog. And Pierre? That crazy cat is GLG's senior managing director.

Pierre, mate, how are you doing?

Fine, Mikey. We felt we wanted to improve the balance sheet going into the next period.

That's great, Pierre. Only thing is, mate, I ain't interested in no fucking balance sheet. I want to know about the state of your soul.


Come on, mate. I want to hear a bit more than 'Oh'.

Well, my soul is … er, is …

Pierre, do you have a soul?

We think we're probably going to be the first real hedge fund manager to bring something to that space.

That's more like it! What space, Pierre?

The space out there, man! Where a man can be a man and find his true self. There are mysteries for us. We must discover new ... new realms, man. Have ye ever been lost in money, Michael? Burned it out, and yet … and yet …

Keep going, Pierre. This is fucking brilliant!

They have largely been long-only equity players who have decided to move into absolute return.

No, no, no! For Christ's sake!

They moved into the desert, and …

Yes. Keep going.

They … they turned to equities because of low interest rates on cash.

Fucking hell! Just forget it, mate.