Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Phil Apel has got a new job at Henderson Global Investors

A new job, yeah. Christ. Better than the old one? Well ... / I mean, this Phil, he was a big head of interest rates at Henderson Global Investors, right? 'Right.' Now, though, he's the head of fixed income at Henderson. 'Ha!' / So ... / Does it matter? 'Does what matter, Mikey?' Does it matter, Voice, that Phil has traded one job for another? Who cares what he does for a living, what role he has?! 'I'm sure Mr Apel cares, man.' Well, I'm talking about my readers. Do they care? 'I have no idea.' It just seems so pointless, you know?

It's actually quite depressing. / Oh, I'm not having a pop at Phil. I'm sure he's a decent guy - even if he does keep harping on about all that global stuff. 'What global stuff?' Man, he wants the product range to be global or something, or the client base, or the process. Basically, he wants everything to be global. 'How peculiar!' Yeah. / Doesn't he know that the farther one travels, the more one has to travel? 'Eh? I suppose -' Listen, the fact is, there are billions of habitable planets in our galaxy, the Milky Way. 'Exactly!' What is Phil Apel going to do about it? 'Er ... make the product range universal? What a nutter!' You're making a joke about it, Voice, but I wouldn't put it past him. / The man is confused. He's running around, trying to make the process global ... or whatever. None of it makes sense. Hasn't he ever just sat under a tree and meditated? 'He's got to let go, Mikey.' He can't let go! But more than that, Phil has got to say to this Rob Gambi character (if Rob ever shows up): "Stick your job, boss, where the sun don't shine. I've got smaller fish to fry. Inside my mind, you dig?" Grow a set of balls, you know? 'Fuckin' A!' And this Rob, man, where is he? 'I think he's joining Henderson early next year.' Yeah. He's probably under a tree himself, right now! 'Taking it easy. He's no fool.' And Phil wants to impress him?! Really? Unbelievable! I just ... / The whole thing is absolutely fucking ridiculous!