Otkritie's Global Prime FX volumes up 96 per cent!

Over the last twelve months! Nice one!

Paris, 26 April 2017 - Otkritie Capital International, the brokerage and investment banking company, today announces at TradeTech Europe that its FX Prime business within the Otkritie Global Prime franchise is picking up pace since its full scale rollout 12 months ago. The FX Prime turnover volumes went up by 96% compared to April 2016 figures across various venues and currencies.

Oh, TradeTech again. Christ! 'Are you going, boss?' It finished yesterday, idiot! 'Oh.' I didn't want to go. 'Because they didn't ask you to be a keynote speaker.' Shut up!

The volumes consist of all activity across more than 10 FX venues, including Electronic Communication Networks (ECNs) and Liquidity Providers (LPs) which have been added to the list available for our clients, which covers majority of FX liquidity globally in G10 and major emerging currencies (taking leading positions in USD/RUB non-disclosed institutional spot market flow).

Okay. I'm sure it means something to somebody. Uh, my head ...

The existing and short-term scheduled product set includes cash FX (both non-disclosed and disclosed) and Non-Deliverable Forwards (NDFs). Mid-term plans also include FX synthetic instruments like CFDs and access to non-disclosed FX SWAPS trading where applicable.

Okay. Okay. My stomach is unsettled.

Oktkritie's consumers are top global and regional institutional market players, utilizing algo-, algo HFT- and non-HFT strategies: hedge, arbitrage and position-taking trading. Existing FX listed derivatives access completes the FX Prime business enabling Oktkritie's clients to execute various strategies with netting solutions available on its platform.

Okay. I'd like to go out today, but I might have to lie down after lunch. Just for a nap, you dig?

FX Prime is part of the Otkritie Global Prime business line, which combines execution, financing and clearing offering across major asset classes: equity, fixed income and derivatives. The Global Prime platform is designated for classic buy-side customers like hedge funds, asset managers and wealth managers as well as for the sell-side segment: banks, private banks and broker-dealers.

Yeah, okay. It's great and everything, but ...

...

So ... / I'm not really in the mood, dear reader(s). Fortunately, this is the last post of the week. I've got a migraine. 'How are your ribs, boss?' My ribs are fine, Voice. I've got a migraine.

Music? I'm listening to The Blueprint by Jay-Z. It was released on 9/11. Talk about bad luck. It didn't hold the album back though. Bob Dylan's Love and Theft was also released on that day.

Quite a few of the tracks were produced by Kanye West, before he was a star. 'Kanye and Bob worked together?! Well, that is a surprise!' I'm talking about The Blueprint, you cretin! 'Oh.' Yeah, oh!

Yeah, I think Kanye struggled quite a bit, before he was a star, like. I mean, that's what his song Spaceship suggests. 'Put it on, Mikey!' All right, Voice.

I'm still building my spaceship ...

[No. 507] No body

Just a soul.

And ... so free! / AGAIN - !!![1], and a-ROUND here, I'm very much, er ... 'Like me, boss?'[1], and ... so free! / AGAIN - !!![2], and, ha! ... I'm nothing like that prat! / Do me a favour! / Do YOU(!) ... know what I mean?[1], and a-ROUND here, I'm very much, er ... 'Like me, boss?'[2], and ... 'That's harsh'[1], and, ha! ... I'm nothing like that prat! / Do me a favour! / Do YOU(!) ... know what I mean?[2], and I'm spinning, kook(s), you dig? / 'So am I!'[1], and ... 'That's harsh'[2], and ... ha! / Whatever ...[1], and I'm spinning, kook(s), you dig? / 'So am I!'[2], and my bad ribs can't hurt me here[1], and ... ha! / Whatever ...[2], and ... uh, kook(s), I hope you're spinning, too[1], and my bad ribs can't hurt me here[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... as light as a feather / well, lighter, actually[1], and ... uh, kook(s), I hope you're spinning, too[2], and how much does a soul weigh?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... as light as a feather / well, lighter, actually[2], and I enjoy leaving the COLD WORLD behind / 'Mikey, leave it where it belongs!'[1], and how much does a soul weigh?[2], and ... wise words, Voice, for once / Well done, son![1], and I enjoy leaving the COLD WORLD behind / 'Mikey, leave it where it belongs!'[2], and if there are any squares being nosy ... Christ! / You're in the wrong place, yeah?[1], and ... wise words, Voice, for once / Well done, son![2], and they can do one ... all the way to the "news", ha![1], and if there are any squares being nosy ... Christ! / You're in the wrong place, yeah?[2], and this ... is for kooks only[1], and they can do one ... all the way to the "news", ha![2], and a spiritual aristocrat, an evolutionary spearhead? Oh, how can I be so elitist?[1], and this ... is for kooks only[2], and ... they may want to know[1], and a spiritual aristocrat, an evolutionary spearhead? Oh, how can I be so elitist?[2], and I'm doing it for myself! / Sorry ...[1], and ... they may want to know[2], and ... why?[1], and I'm doing it for myself! / Sorry ...[2], and when you get to my age, over a million, or a billion, I've lost count, uh ... you forget a lot, thankfully[1], and ... why?[2], and ... well, well[1], and when you get to my age, over a million, or a billion, I've lost count, uh ... you forget a lot, thankfully[2], and it doesn't matter anyway because the squares are too cold to care, or too square to wonder[1], and ... well, well[2], and they can't leave their bodies[1], and it doesn't matter anyway because the squares are too cold to care, or too square to wonder[2], and ... so COLD - !!![1], and they can't leave their bodies[2], and where was I? / and where am I?[1], and ... so COLD - !!![2], and here I am, always![1], and where was I? / and where am I?[2], and ... so free! / AGAIN - !!![3], and here I am, always![2], and a-ROUND here, I'm very much, er ... 'Like me, boss?'[3], and, ha! ... I'm nothing like that prat! / Do me a favour! / Do YOU(!) ... know what I mean?[3], and ... 'That's harsh'[3], and I'm spinning, kook(s), you dig? / 'So am I!'[3], and ... ha! / Whatever ...[3], and my bad ribs can't hurt me here[3], and ... uh, kook(s), I hope you're spinning, too[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... as light as a feather / well, lighter, actually[3], and how much does a soul weigh?[3], and I enjoy leaving the COLD WORLD behind / 'Mikey, leave it where it belongs!'[3], and ... wise words, Voice, for once / Well done, son![3], and if there are any squares being nosy ... Christ! / You're in the wrong place, yeah?[3], and they can do one ... all the way to the "news", ha![3], and this ... is for kooks only[3], and a spiritual aristocrat, an evolutionary spearhead? Oh, how can I be so elitist?[3], and ... they may want to know[3], and I'm doing it for myself! / Sorry ...[3], and ... why?[3], and when you get to my age, over a million, or a billion, I've lost count, uh ... you forget a lot, thankfully[3], and ... well, well[3], and it doesn't matter anyway because the squares are too cold to care, or too square to wonder[3], and they can't leave their bodies[3], and ... so COLD - !!![3], and where was I? / and where am I?[3], and here I am, always![3], and

And ... so free! / AGAIN - !!![1], and a-ROUND here, I'm very much, er ... 'Like me, boss?'[1], and ... so free! / AGAIN - !!![2], and, ha! ... I'm nothing like that prat! / Do me a favour! / Do YOU(!) ... know what I mean?[1], and a-ROUND here, I'm very much, er ... 'Like me, boss?'[2], and ... 'That's harsh'[1], and, ha! ... I'm nothing like that prat! / Do me a favour! / Do YOU(!) ... know what I mean?[2], and I'm spinning, kook(s), you dig? / 'So am I!'[1], and ... 'That's harsh'[2], and ... ha! / Whatever ...[1], and I'm spinning, kook(s), you dig? / 'So am I!'[2], and my bad ribs can't hurt me here[1], and ... ha! / Whatever ...[2], and ... uh, kook(s), I hope you're spinning, too[1], and my bad ribs can't hurt me here[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... as light as a feather / well, lighter, actually[1], and ... uh, kook(s), I hope you're spinning, too[2], and how much does a soul weigh?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... as light as a feather / well, lighter, actually[2], and I enjoy leaving the COLD WORLD behind / 'Mikey, leave it where it belongs!'[1], and how much does a soul weigh?[2], and ... wise words, Voice, for once / Well done, son![1], and I enjoy leaving the COLD WORLD behind / 'Mikey, leave it where it belongs!'[2], and if there are any squares being nosy ... Christ! / You're in the wrong place, yeah?[1], and ... wise words, Voice, for once / Well done, son![2], and they can do one ... all the way to the "news", ha![1], and if there are any squares being nosy ... Christ! / You're in the wrong place, yeah?[2], and this ... is for kooks only[1], and they can do one ... all the way to the "news", ha![2], and a spiritual aristocrat, an evolutionary spearhead? Oh, how can I be so elitist?[1], and this ... is for kooks only[2], and ... they may want to know[1], and a spiritual aristocrat, an evolutionary spearhead? Oh, how can I be so elitist?[2], and I'm doing it for myself! / Sorry ...[1], and ... they may want to know[2], and ... why?[1], and I'm doing it for myself! / Sorry ...[2], and when you get to my age, over a million, or a billion, I've lost count, uh ... you forget a lot, thankfully[1], and ... why?[2], and ... well, well[1], and when you get to my age, over a million, or a billion, I've lost count, uh ... you forget a lot, thankfully[2], and it doesn't matter anyway because the squares are too cold to care, or too square to wonder[1], and ... well, well[2], and they can't leave their bodies[1], and it doesn't matter anyway because the squares are too cold to care, or too square to wonder[2], and ... so COLD - !!![1], and they can't leave their bodies[2], and where was I? / and where am I?[1], and ... so COLD - !!![2], and here I am, always![1], and where was I? / and where am I?[2], and ... so free! / AGAIN - !!![3], and here I am, always![2], and a-ROUND here, I'm very much, er ... 'Like me, boss?'[3], and, ha! ... I'm nothing like that prat! / Do me a favour! / Do YOU(!) ... know what I mean?[3], and ... 'That's harsh'[3], and I'm spinning, kook(s), you dig? / 'So am I!'[3], and ... ha! / Whatever ...[3], and my bad ribs can't hurt me here[3], and ... uh, kook(s), I hope you're spinning, too[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... as light as a feather / well, lighter, actually[3], and how much does a soul weigh?[3], and I enjoy leaving the COLD WORLD behind / 'Mikey, leave it where it belongs!'[3], and ... wise words, Voice, for once / Well done, son![3], and if there are any squares being nosy ... Christ! / You're in the wrong place, yeah?[3], and they can do one ... all the way to the "news", ha![3], and this ... is for kooks only[3], and a spiritual aristocrat, an evolutionary spearhead? Oh, how can I be so elitist?[3], and ... they may want to know[3], and I'm doing it for myself! / Sorry ...[3], and ... why?[3], and when you get to my age, over a million, or a billion, I've lost count, uh ... you forget a lot, thankfully[3], and ... well, well[3], and it doesn't matter anyway because the squares are too cold to care, or too square to wonder[3], and they can't leave their bodies[3], and ... so COLD - !!![3], and where was I? / and where am I?[3], and here I am, always![3], and

And ... so free! / AGAIN - !!![1], and a-ROUND here, I'm very much, er ... 'Like me, boss?'[1], and ... so free! / AGAIN - !!![2], and, ha! ... I'm nothing like that prat! / Do me a favour! / Do YOU(!) ... know what I mean?[1], and a-ROUND here, I'm very much, er ... 'Like me, boss?'[2], and ... 'That's harsh'[1], and, ha! ... I'm nothing like that prat! / Do me a favour! / Do YOU(!) ... know what I mean?[2], and I'm spinning, kook(s), you dig? / 'So am I!'[1], and ... 'That's harsh'[2], and ... ha! / Whatever ...[1], and I'm spinning, kook(s), you dig? / 'So am I!'[2], and my bad ribs can't hurt me here[1], and ... ha! / Whatever ...[2], and ... uh, kook(s), I hope you're spinning, too[1], and my bad ribs can't hurt me here[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... as light as a feather / well, lighter, actually[1], and ... uh, kook(s), I hope you're spinning, too[2], and how much does a soul weigh?[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... as light as a feather / well, lighter, actually[2], and I enjoy leaving the COLD WORLD behind / 'Mikey, leave it where it belongs!'[1], and how much does a soul weigh?[2], and ... wise words, Voice, for once / Well done, son![1], and I enjoy leaving the COLD WORLD behind / 'Mikey, leave it where it belongs!'[2], and if there are any squares being nosy ... Christ! / You're in the wrong place, yeah?[1], and ... wise words, Voice, for once / Well done, son![2], and they can do one ... all the way to the "news", ha![1], and if there are any squares being nosy ... Christ! / You're in the wrong place, yeah?[2], and this ... is for kooks only[1], and they can do one ... all the way to the "news", ha![2], and a spiritual aristocrat, an evolutionary spearhead? Oh, how can I be so elitist?[1], and this ... is for kooks only[2], and ... they may want to know[1], and a spiritual aristocrat, an evolutionary spearhead? Oh, how can I be so elitist?[2], and I'm doing it for myself! / Sorry ...[1], and ... they may want to know[2], and ... why?[1], and I'm doing it for myself! / Sorry ...[2], and when you get to my age, over a million, or a billion, I've lost count, uh ... you forget a lot, thankfully[1], and ... why?[2], and ... well, well[1], and when you get to my age, over a million, or a billion, I've lost count, uh ... you forget a lot, thankfully[2], and it doesn't matter anyway because the squares are too cold to care, or too square to wonder[1], and ... well, well[2], and they can't leave their bodies[1], and it doesn't matter anyway because the squares are too cold to care, or too square to wonder[2], and ... so COLD - !!![1], and they can't leave their bodies[2], and where was I? / and where am I?[1], and ... so COLD - !!![2], and here I am, always![1], and where was I? / and where am I?[2], and ... so free! / AGAIN - !!![3], and here I am, always![2], and a-ROUND here, I'm very much, er ... 'Like me, boss?'[3], and, ha! ... I'm nothing like that prat! / Do me a favour! / Do YOU(!) ... know what I mean?[3], and ... 'That's harsh'[3], and I'm spinning, kook(s), you dig? / 'So am I!'[3], and ... ha! / Whatever ...[3], and my bad ribs can't hurt me here[3], and ... uh, kook(s), I hope you're spinning, too[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... as light as a feather / well, lighter, actually[3], and how much does a soul weigh?[3], and I enjoy leaving the COLD WORLD behind / 'Mikey, leave it where it belongs!'[3], and ... wise words, Voice, for once / Well done, son![3], and if there are any squares being nosy ... Christ! / You're in the wrong place, yeah?[3], and they can do one ... all the way to the "news", ha![3], and this ... is for kooks only[3], and a spiritual aristocrat, an evolutionary spearhead? Oh, how can I be so elitist?[3], and ... they may want to know[3], and I'm doing it for myself! / Sorry ...[3], and ... why?[3], and when you get to my age, over a million, or a billion, I've lost count, uh ... you forget a lot, thankfully[3], and ... well, well[3], and it doesn't matter anyway because the squares are too cold to care, or too square to wonder[3], and they can't leave their bodies[3], and ... so COLD - !!![3], and where was I? / and where am I?[3], and here I am, always![3], and

European pension funds

Well, well ... / My ribs are hurting again. I think I slept the wrong way in bed last night. 'What way is that, boss?' Lying down. 'Oh. Ain't that normal?' Not for me, lately, Voice. I'll have to continue sleeping sitting up for the foreseeable future. I actually quite like it. I mean, it's a new experience, you dig? 'Yeah. / What about the PR email?' Oh, okay. It's another PR email, dear reader(s). It's not that I'm lazy. It's just, well ... they send me so many, and it's easy, and I'm not in the best of health. It's very stressful going around the internet looking for news, you know. I think - 'Boss. Come on, man.' Oh, okay.

A new report examines whether European pension funds - built to provide a decent retirement for working people - are also acting to protect those workers' rights ahead of retirement. Authored by Tom Powdrill, responsible investment coordinator at the ITF (International Transport Workers' Federation), it shows that funds have made progress in the area, but have still to achieve their full potential to improve lives.

Jesus H. - !!! There probably won't be any pension funds soon. And no one will have any rights at all. Why are we even discussing this? 'Boss, let Tom explain.' Tom?! Tom, who?! 'Tom Powdrill. He wrote the report.' Oh.

Tom Powdrill explained: "The ITF applauds the widespread take up of responsible investment policies by pension funds. They're a key form of social responsibility - and an implicit recognition that funds play a part in assisting workers both before and after retirement. Motivated by that we investigated how many of them were putting theory into practice and promoting workers' rights. The results were surprising. Core labour standards are being upheld by two thirds of the 100 largest funds in Europe - but one third, many of them based in the key fund arena of the United Kingdom, are sitting on their hands."

Ha! The United Kingdom. I should have known. This country is a shithouse. And it will get worse when we leave the European Union, you mark my words.

He concluded: "Another key finding was the power and prevalence of the 'capital strike': where funds respond to concerns about companies' treatment of workers. We identified funds in this sample alone, representing the huge sum of EUR 2 trillion, who refuse to invest in Wal-Mart, while six funds, representing EUR 287 billion, won't touch Rynanair."

Okay, okay. Well, I'm sure Paddy Crumlin has got something to say. / Paddy, come on, son.

ITF president Paddy Crumlin commented: "Pension money is not gifted. It's the hard earned product of hard work and industrial negotiation and is a deferment of wages that workers decide to make to secure a dignified and decent retirement. It has out to be put to work itself in a way that respects that source. It is only right that it helps build sustainable individual and collective futures, and that it does so ethically. It is morally inconceivable that it should be invested in companies that attack the rights of the very workers paying towards these pensions. This new research has identified much good practice, but it has also revealed a gap that the pension fund industry must move to close."

Well, I don't know. I'm not too optimistic. / Oh, there's a summary of the report. I'll just quote one paragraph of it -

However, almost a third of funds, representing nearly EUR 900 billion, make no reference to international standards. The UK is the clear outsider, accounting for two thirds of the funds in this group by number, and four fifths by assets (EUR 684 billion). This is particularly worrying given that the UK has the largest pool of retirement assets in Europe, and the second largest in the OECD.

Yeah, the UK. And this is what Brexit is about, man: Making life unbearable for the average man and woman in the street. Look at the insane politicians who support Brexit. Look at their eyes! They don't give two shits about sovereignty or taking back control. They just want to destroy pensions, destroy the NHS, destroy schools, destroy support for the disabled and the poor, and ... the list goes on! This is what people are voting for: THEIR OWN DESTRUCTION!!!

...

Anything else? No. There's nothing else, at the moment. A conceptual later. / Music? I ain't got nothing to say. So ...

Election worries and gold

Well, well ... / Everyone's worried about the state of the world, you dig? 'Are you buying gold, boss?' Er ... no. I can't afford gold. I'm buying baked beans.

The snap UK election in June and the second round of voting in France in May are galvanizing investors to buy physical gold to protect against the uncertain election outcomes, according to investment firm The Pure Gold Company.

Yeah, it's a PR email, again. 'Ha! Couldn't you find any news, boss?' No, Voice. I'm being let down, big time. 'Oh.' There just ain't any news worth reporting. Thank God for Kathy! 'Who?' Kathy. The PR woman.

Chief executive Josh Saul said: "This past week has seen a surge in gold buyers, and this morning especially, our clients are looking to take advantage of a drop in the gold price as the French presidential polls favour moderate candidate Emmanuel Macron. People purchasing gold this morning and taking advantage of a lower price remember that Clinton lead Trump in the polls and the Remain camp led over the Leave voters. The polls have been an unreliable indicator in the last few momentous votes and the general sentiment is that if people can find a way to hedge themselves with gold at a discount then they will heed the opportunity. We've seen many clients who purchased last week place orders this morning in order to reduce the overall average price that they have bought at."

You see? This morning, that morning. That's our Josh, that is, telling it how it is. 'Yeah. Are you going to link to their website?' No. This is enough, man. I ain't promoting stuff. 'Oh.' And if my readers want to buy gold, they will. I don't give investment advice, Voice. 'Okay. Okay.' I'm just saying. So we all know where we stand. / The world is a mess though ...

The problem is, the people who have been running the world since forever are corrupt. But now, voters - in their wisdom - have decided to replace these corrupt rulers with new rulers who are stupid, and incompetent, and, uh ... quite often racist, and  ... er, corrupt. So ... / Anyway ...

"43% of people purchasing gold have been first time investors who say their motivations for buying gold is to remove exposure to equities. They're worried that a Marine Le Pen victory in France, uncertainty over the UK's general election in June or an escalation in hostilities between N Korea and US could result in a considerable decline in global stocks. People are purchasing gold as a hedge against these events occurring whilst hoping that they don't. This is especially true for retirees. We have seen a 105% increase in people purchasing physical gold through their SIPP or Pension in the last seven days to protect their investments from election uncertainty."

Well, er ... that must be our Josh again. Yeah. / Hopefully, Le Pen won't win. We don't need more trouble. 'What about the election here, boss?' I don't want to talk about politics, son. 'Oh.' However, I will say ... if Theresa May and the Tories win big, they will have to own Brexit and the consequences ... which might turn out to be quite amusing in the long run.

...

Anything else? Music? I ain't listening to nothing. Er, my music? Well, my ribs are cool now, reader(s), so I can play the guitar again. 'Yippee! / When are you going to record those two songs?' Soon. If there's no noise in the street. 'Oh.' Yeah. Those slags outside. Christ! I'm trying to make history, man, and they're just making noise. 'They should be ashamed of themselves, Mikey.' Ha! Voice, people like that have no concept of shame. 'They're selfish.' They're thoughtless. All they care about is the pub or something, I don't know. Banging their car doors. Always in a rush. Why can't they sit quietly in a room? 'Blaise Pascal.' Fuckin' A, Blaise Pascal!

Anyway, laters, yeah?

[No. 506] I ain't going back in no cage

Freedom forever!

And here ... I am free / and ... YOU(!), too - ?![1], and the cage of the SQUARE WORLD, yes, COLD WORLD ... is comforting for some, ha![1], and here ... I am free / and ... YOU(!), too - ?![2], and I'll never understand them ...[1], and the cage of the SQUARE WORLD, yes, COLD WORLD ... is comforting for some, ha![2], and what did Dostoyevsky say, Voice? / 'Freedom is a burden, or something, boss!'[1], and I'll never understand them ...[2], and ... yeah, or something ... / It's been a few years since I read him, oh well[1], and what did Dostoyevsky say, Voice? / 'Freedom is a burden, or something, boss!'[2], and I don't need no answers / I AM THE ANSWER!!![1], and ... yeah, or something ... / It's been a few years since I read him, oh well[2], and a-ROUND here ... I can be myself, just facing the cosmos and getting rid of dirt[1], and I don't need no answers / I AM THE ANSWER!!![2], and watch me spin - full of joy![1], and a-ROUND here ... I can be myself, just facing the cosmos and getting rid of dirt[2], and Napoleon and Caesar were happy to be on their own, you dig? / I'm sure of that[1], and watch me spin - full of joy![2], and the slaves will always look outside themselves[1], and Napoleon and Caesar were happy to be on their own, you dig? / I'm sure of that[2], and if I can't convince you, Jesus H. - !!! / oh, you can lead a horse to water ...[1], and the slaves will always look outside themselves[2], and I ain't concerned[1], and if I can't convince you, Jesus H. - !!! / oh, you can lead a horse to water ...[2], and spiritual aristocrats, the evolutionary spearheads ... are very rare / Would you recognize one?[1], and I ain't concerned[2], and ... ha![1], and spiritual aristocrats, the evolutionary spearheads ... are very rare / Would you recognize one?[2], and if YOU(!) ... have a bad soul, keep your thoughts off mine / just keep to your own kind[1], and ... ha![2], and ... please![1], and if YOU(!) ... have a bad soul, keep your thoughts off mine / just keep to your own kind[2], and my conscious consciousness conscious consciousness ness ... is precious[1], and ... please![2], and ... oh yes![1], and my conscious consciousness conscious consciousness ness ... is precious[2], and if you ain't digging me, the kooks are, so ... / Do I care, really? / Son, I'm frying different fish[1], and ... oh yes![2], and daughter, too - of course! / 'Guys, Mikey!'[1], and if you ain't digging me, the kooks are, so ... / Do I care, really? / Son, I'm frying different fish[2], and well, well, well ... so free![1], and daughter, too - of course! / 'Guys, Mikey!'[2], and one of these spins, uh, you should know ... I'll be GONE(!), oh, way beyond the THREE[1], and well, well, well ... so free![2], and gotta stay positive[1], and one of these spins, uh, you should know ... I'll be GONE(!), oh, way beyond the THREE[2], and, yes, yes, YES - !!![1], and gotta stay positive[2], and here ... I am free / and ... YOU(!), too - ?![3], and, yes, yes, YES - !!![2], and the cage of the SQUARE WORLD, yes, COLD WORLD ... is comforting for some, ha![3], and I'll never understand them ...[3], and what did Dostoyevsky say, Voice? / 'Freedom is a burden, or something, boss!'[3], and ... yeah, or something ... / It's been a few years since I read him, oh well[3], and I don't need no answers / I AM THE ANSWER!!![3], and a-ROUND here ... I can be myself, just facing the cosmos and getting rid of dirt[3], and watch me spin - full of joy![3], and Napoleon and Caesar were happy to be on their own, you dig? / I'm sure of that[3], and the slaves will always look outside themselves[3],and if I can't convince you, Jesus H. - !!! / oh, you can lead a horse to water ...[3], and I ain't concerned[3], and spiritual aristocrats, the evolutionary spearheads ... are very rare / Would you recognize one?[3], and ... ha![3], and if YOU(!) ... have a bad soul, keep your thoughts off mine / just keep to your own kind[3], and ... please![3], and my conscious consciousness conscious consciousness ness ... is precious[3], and ... oh yes![3], and if you ain't digging me, the kooks are, so ... / Do I care, really? / Son, I'm frying different fish[3], and daughter, too - of course! / 'Guys, Mikey!'[3], and well, well, well ... so free![3], and one of these spins, uh, you should know ... I'll be GONE(!), oh, way beyond the THREE[3], and gotta stay positive[3], and, yes, yes, YES - !!![3], and

And here ... I am free / and ... YOU(!), too - ?![1], and the cage of the SQUARE WORLD, yes, COLD WORLD ... is comforting for some, ha![1], and here ... I am free / and ... YOU(!), too - ?![2], and I'll never understand them ...[1], and the cage of the SQUARE WORLD, yes, COLD WORLD ... is comforting for some, ha![2], and what did Dostoyevsky say, Voice? / 'Freedom is a burden, or something, boss!'[1], and I'll never understand them ...[2], and ... yeah, or something ... / It's been a few years since I read him, oh well[1], and what did Dostoyevsky say, Voice? / 'Freedom is a burden, or something, boss!'[2], and I don't need no answers / I AM THE ANSWER!!![1], and ... yeah, or something ... / It's been a few years since I read him, oh well[2], and a-ROUND here ... I can be myself, just facing the cosmos and getting rid of dirt[1], and I don't need no answers / I AM THE ANSWER!!![2], and watch me spin - full of joy![1], and a-ROUND here ... I can be myself, just facing the cosmos and getting rid of dirt[2], and Napoleon and Caesar were happy to be on their own, you dig? / I'm sure of that[1], and watch me spin - full of joy![2], and the slaves will always look outside themselves[1], and Napoleon and Caesar were happy to be on their own, you dig? / I'm sure of that[2], and if I can't convince you, Jesus H. - !!! / oh, you can lead a horse to water ...[1], and the slaves will always look outside themselves[2], and I ain't concerned[1], and if I can't convince you, Jesus H. - !!! / oh, you can lead a horse to water ...[2], and spiritual aristocrats, the evolutionary spearheads ... are very rare / Would you recognize one?[1], and I ain't concerned[2], and ... ha![1], and spiritual aristocrats, the evolutionary spearheads ... are very rare / Would you recognize one?[2], and if YOU(!) ... have a bad soul, keep your thoughts off mine / just keep to your own kind[1], and ... ha![2], and ... please![1], and if YOU(!) ... have a bad soul, keep your thoughts off mine / just keep to your own kind[2], and my conscious consciousness conscious consciousness ness ... is precious[1], and ... please![2], and ... oh yes![1], and my conscious consciousness conscious consciousness ness ... is precious[2], and if you ain't digging me, the kooks are, so ... / Do I care, really? / Son, I'm frying different fish[1], and ... oh yes![2], and daughter, too - of course! / 'Guys, Mikey!'[1], and if you ain't digging me, the kooks are, so ... / Do I care, really? / Son, I'm frying different fish[2], and well, well, well ... so free![1], and daughter, too - of course! / 'Guys, Mikey!'[2], and one of these spins, uh, you should know ... I'll be GONE(!), oh, way beyond the THREE[1], and well, well, well ... so free![2], and gotta stay positive[1], and one of these spins, uh, you should know ... I'll be GONE(!), oh, way beyond the THREE[2], and, yes, yes, YES - !!![1], and gotta stay positive[2], and here ... I am free / and ... YOU(!), too - ?![3], and, yes, yes, YES - !!![2], and the cage of the SQUARE WORLD, yes, COLD WORLD ... is comforting for some, ha![3], and I'll never understand them ...[3], and what did Dostoyevsky say, Voice? / 'Freedom is a burden, or something, boss!'[3], and ... yeah, or something ... / It's been a few years since I read him, oh well[3], and I don't need no answers / I AM THE ANSWER!!![3], and a-ROUND here ... I can be myself, just facing the cosmos and getting rid of dirt[3], and watch me spin - full of joy![3], and Napoleon and Caesar were happy to be on their own, you dig? / I'm sure of that[3], and the slaves will always look outside themselves[3],and if I can't convince you, Jesus H. - !!! / oh, you can lead a horse to water ...[3], and I ain't concerned[3], and spiritual aristocrats, the evolutionary spearheads ... are very rare / Would you recognize one?[3], and ... ha![3], and if YOU(!) ... have a bad soul, keep your thoughts off mine / just keep to your own kind[3], and ... please![3], and my conscious consciousness conscious consciousness ness ... is precious[3], and ... oh yes![3], and if you ain't digging me, the kooks are, so ... / Do I care, really? / Son, I'm frying different fish[3], and daughter, too - of course! / 'Guys, Mikey!'[3], and well, well, well ... so free![3], and one of these spins, uh, you should know ... I'll be GONE(!), oh, way beyond the THREE[3], and gotta stay positive[3], and, yes, yes, YES - !!![3], and

And here ... I am free / and ... YOU(!), too - ?![1], and the cage of the SQUARE WORLD, yes, COLD WORLD ... is comforting for some, ha![1], and here ... I am free / and ... YOU(!), too - ?![2], and I'll never understand them ...[1], and the cage of the SQUARE WORLD, yes, COLD WORLD ... is comforting for some, ha![2], and what did Dostoyevsky say, Voice? / 'Freedom is a burden, or something, boss!'[1], and I'll never understand them ...[2], and ... yeah, or something ... / It's been a few years since I read him, oh well[1], and what did Dostoyevsky say, Voice? / 'Freedom is a burden, or something, boss!'[2], and I don't need no answers / I AM THE ANSWER!!![1], and ... yeah, or something ... / It's been a few years since I read him, oh well[2], and a-ROUND here ... I can be myself, just facing the cosmos and getting rid of dirt[1], and I don't need no answers / I AM THE ANSWER!!![2], and watch me spin - full of joy![1], and a-ROUND here ... I can be myself, just facing the cosmos and getting rid of dirt[2], and Napoleon and Caesar were happy to be on their own, you dig? / I'm sure of that[1], and watch me spin - full of joy![2], and the slaves will always look outside themselves[1], and Napoleon and Caesar were happy to be on their own, you dig? / I'm sure of that[2], and if I can't convince you, Jesus H. - !!! / oh, you can lead a horse to water ...[1], and the slaves will always look outside themselves[2], and I ain't concerned[1], and if I can't convince you, Jesus H. - !!! / oh, you can lead a horse to water ...[2], and spiritual aristocrats, the evolutionary spearheads ... are very rare / Would you recognize one?[1], and I ain't concerned[2], and ... ha![1], and spiritual aristocrats, the evolutionary spearheads ... are very rare / Would you recognize one?[2], and if YOU(!) ... have a bad soul, keep your thoughts off mine / just keep to your own kind[1], and ... ha![2], and ... please![1], and if YOU(!) ... have a bad soul, keep your thoughts off mine / just keep to your own kind[2], and my conscious consciousness conscious consciousness ness ... is precious[1], and ... please![2], and ... oh yes![1], and my conscious consciousness conscious consciousness ness ... is precious[2], and if you ain't digging me, the kooks are, so ... / Do I care, really? / Son, I'm frying different fish[1], and ... oh yes![2], and daughter, too - of course! / 'Guys, Mikey!'[1], and if you ain't digging me, the kooks are, so ... / Do I care, really? / Son, I'm frying different fish[2], and well, well, well ... so free![1], and daughter, too - of course! / 'Guys, Mikey!'[2], and one of these spins, uh, you should know ... I'll be GONE(!), oh, way beyond the THREE[1], and well, well, well ... so free![2], and gotta stay positive[1], and one of these spins, uh, you should know ... I'll be GONE(!), oh, way beyond the THREE[2], and, yes, yes, YES - !!![1], and gotta stay positive[2], and here ... I am free / and ... YOU(!), too - ?![3], and, yes, yes, YES - !!![2], and the cage of the SQUARE WORLD, yes, COLD WORLD ... is comforting for some, ha![3], and I'll never understand them ...[3], and what did Dostoyevsky say, Voice? / 'Freedom is a burden, or something, boss!'[3], and ... yeah, or something ... / It's been a few years since I read him, oh well[3], and I don't need no answers / I AM THE ANSWER!!![3], and a-ROUND here ... I can be myself, just facing the cosmos and getting rid of dirt[3], and watch me spin - full of joy![3], and Napoleon and Caesar were happy to be on their own, you dig? / I'm sure of that[3], and the slaves will always look outside themselves[3],and if I can't convince you, Jesus H. - !!! / oh, you can lead a horse to water ...[3], and I ain't concerned[3], and spiritual aristocrats, the evolutionary spearheads ... are very rare / Would you recognize one?[3], and ... ha![3], and if YOU(!) ... have a bad soul, keep your thoughts off mine / just keep to your own kind[3], and ... please![3], and my conscious consciousness conscious consciousness ness ... is precious[3], and ... oh yes![3], and if you ain't digging me, the kooks are, so ... / Do I care, really? / Son, I'm frying different fish[3], and daughter, too - of course! / 'Guys, Mikey!'[3], and well, well, well ... so free![3], and one of these spins, uh, you should know ... I'll be GONE(!), oh, way beyond the THREE[3], and gotta stay positive[3], and, yes, yes, YES - !!![3], and

Orange Capital Partners acquires €150.9 million portfolio from NSI

Euros? There's no harm in it, I suppose. We'll all be using euros soon. 'How do you work that out, boss?' Ha! Think about it, idiot!

Dear reader(s), I just can't get the staff ...

Anyway ...

The portfolio consists of 16 retail assets with a total surface area of 84,682sqm, of which more than 75% is located in the Randstad conurbation. Anchor retailers in the portfolio include the supermarket chains Ahold, Jumbo, Lidl and Hoogvliet. With the acquisition the convenience retail portfolio of Orange Capital Partners has grown to a total of 28 assets with an aggregated size of 150,000sqm.

Er ... I've heard of Lidl. But where is this Jumbo supermarket? Or Hoogvliet, for Christ's sake?! It's utterly bizarre. Obviously, some PR guy has just made this shit up for a laugh. 'Boss.' What, Voice? 'They're Dutch.' Oh.

Casper Vernooij, partner at Orange Capital Partners, commented: "The portfolio comprises of predominantly convenience retail assets which is at the heart of our strategy. The acquisition further adds to our existing portfolio in the Netherlands. We will use our expertise and local knowledge to invest in these assets and make them more attractive to both retailers and local consumers."

Oh, I see. Netherlands. That explains it. Ha! I thought it was strange, reader(s). I ain't seen no Jumbo supermarkets around. / Anyway, here's a bit on Orange Capital -

Orange Capital Partners is a real estate investment and asset management company founded in 2014. Orange Capital Partners acts as a joint venture partner for international pension funds, investment banks and family offices for real estate investments in the Netherlands. The company has two separate investment teams focused on Dutch residential and Dutch retail opportunities. Orange Capital Partners has an outstanding track-records in sourcing, executing and managing complex real estate transactions. Since inception Orange Capital Partners has successfully closed more than €700mn of deals.

Okay. Okay. That's from the PR email. But I've been doing my own research. 'Bloody hell, boss! Impressive!' Yeah. I've been having a look at their website. Apparently, they have a passion for excellence. Which is always a good thing. 'They sound like guys after your own heart.' There's a woman, too, Voice, I think. 'I mean "guys" as in, uh ... a unisex thing, yeah?' Oh, of course. / Anyway ...

We focus on attracting exceptionally talented people and on creating an atmosphere that rewards initiative and independent thinking. This commitment is reflected in a culture that values integrity, professionalism and a passion for excellence. It also leads us to operate with prudence, financial discipline, a long-term perspective, and a clear understanding that trust is something we must earn every day.

Not bad, eh? Not bad at all.

...

Anything else? Music? My ribs are a bit better, so I'll be able to play more guitar now. / I've been thinking how close I am to having enough material for an album. Well, I have seven complete songs, and two pieces of music. This means I need another two pieces of music and four lyrics. [No B-sides though.] Which is okay. It's a very slow process, man, but I've discarded stuff, too, you dig? 'Will this be the Citizen Kane of albums, Mikey?' Oh, you never know, Voice. It's certainly shaping up very nicely.

Anyway ... / Later? No. 506. Laters.

Malta is the place to be, apparently

Yeah, Malta. 'Malta?! Who says, boss?' The PR people. 'Oh, I should have guessed. You can't believe everything they say. Or anything.' What?! Why not? 'They're PR people.' Shut up, Voice! You know nothing about it. They're very kindly supplying me with "news" while my ribs are bad. / Anyway ...

New research by Managing Partners Group (MPG), the international asset management group, shows more than 7 in 10 (73%) institutional investors believe Brexit will be 'hard', including 29% who believe it will be 'very hard'.

You see? 'Er, no, not really. There's no mention of Malta, man.' Christ! Look at this, you idiot! -

82% believe Brexit will lead to a rise in the number of UK financial services firms setting up subsidiary offices in the EU.

44% believe that UK asset managers specifically will probably get to passport their funds into the EU after Brexit, around 30% believe this will not happen.

The most important considerations for those UK companies looking to set up another operation elsewhere include a comprehensive legal and regulatory framework (78%), followed by the tax regime (52%) and economic stability (42%).

You see, Voice? 'There's no mention of Malta, boss!' Jesus H. - !!! Jeremy Leach says Malta is the place to be, and I believe him. 'Who?!' Jeremy Leach. We've had him on before. 'Oh.' He's the CEO of MPG. 'Okay.' Bloody hell!

Jeremy Leach, Chief Executive Officer at MPG, commented: "Although a sizeable minority in our survey believe UK asset managers will be able to passport their funds in the EU after Brexit I think this will be unlikely - current members of the European Economic Area such as Switzerland, Liechtenstein and Norway do not have this privilege. As such, many asset managers and other UK financial services companies will look to establish a secondary entity somewhere in Europe post-Brexit and Malta should certainly be on the list of serious options."

You see, you fucking idiot?! Malta is one of the serious options. 'All right, all right. You've made your point, boss.' And Kenny Farrugia agrees with our Jeremy. 'Who?!' Kenny Farrugia.

Kenneth Farrugia, Chairman of Finance Malta, commented: "Malta's proposition as an international financial centre has continued to enjoy momentum, as evidenced by the sustained growth experienced in 2016 and the conduit of international business operations currently seeking an investment services licence through the Malta Financial Services Authority. This success of Malta's financial services industry has been driven by a number of factors, including the presence of a comprehensive regulatory legal and framework, the work ethos and skills of the human resources in Malta, the accessibility to the Regulator and its pro-business approach, Malta's cost competitiveness as well as political and economic stability."

You see? 'Yeah. Kenneth Farrugia.' Yeah, our Kenny. Whatever. 'And what does Joe Portelli say?' Ha, ha. I've no idea. Who the hell is Joe Portelli? 'Uh, Christ.' Ha!

...

Well, well ... it's the end of the week, dear reader(s), thank God! And, yeah, yeah ... my ribs are still hurting.

I've been playing my guitar for half an hour a day. I can't risk more until I'm feeling better.

Never mind. I'm staying positive. 'Great!' God is on my side. I'm utterly convinced.

Later(s), crocodile(s).

[No. 505] My mind is on music

My whole consciousness is fixed on music.

And, man ... let the fools rage![1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[1], and, man ... let the fools rage![2], and I will swerve in naught[1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[2], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[1], and I will swerve in naught[2], and I pray now for the wanderers[1], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[2], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![1], and I pray now for the wanderers[2], and all the electric - spasms![1], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![2], and my own sounds, obviously ...[1], and all the electric - spasms![2], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[1], and my own sounds, obviously ...[2], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![1], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[2], and my fingers are hot!!![1], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![2], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[1], and my fingers are hot!!![2], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[1], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[2], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![1], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[2], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[1], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![2], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[1], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[2], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[1], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[2], and Jesus(!), yeah?[1], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[2], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[1], and Jesus(!), yeah?[2], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![1], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[2], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[1], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![2], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[1], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[2], and, whatever, I suppose[1], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[2], and, man ... let the fools rage![3], and, whatever, I suppose[2], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[3], and I will swerve in naught[3], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[3], and I pray now for the wanderers[3], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![3], and all the electric - spasms![3], and my own sounds, obviously ...[3], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[3], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![3], and my fingers are hot!!![3], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[3], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[3], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![3], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[3], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[3], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[3], and Jesus(!), yeah?[3], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[3], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![3], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[3], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[3], and, whatever, I suppose[3], and

And, man ... let the fools rage![1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[1], and, man ... let the fools rage![2], and I will swerve in naught[1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[2], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[1], and I will swerve in naught[2], and I pray now for the wanderers[1], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[2], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![1], and I pray now for the wanderers[2], and all the electric - spasms![1], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![2], and my own sounds, obviously ...[1], and all the electric - spasms![2], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[1], and my own sounds, obviously ...[2], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![1], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[2], and my fingers are hot!!![1], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![2], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[1], and my fingers are hot!!![2], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[1], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[2], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![1], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[2], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[1], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![2], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[1], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[2], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[1], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[2], and Jesus(!), yeah?[1], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[2], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[1], and Jesus(!), yeah?[2], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![1], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[2], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[1], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![2], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[1], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[2], and, whatever, I suppose[1], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[2], and, man ... let the fools rage![3], and, whatever, I suppose[2], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[3], and I will swerve in naught[3], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[3], and I pray now for the wanderers[3], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![3], and all the electric - spasms![3], and my own sounds, obviously ...[3], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[3], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![3], and my fingers are hot!!![3], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[3], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[3], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![3], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[3], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[3], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[3], and Jesus(!), yeah?[3], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[3], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![3], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[3], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[3], and, whatever, I suppose[3], and

And, man ... let the fools rage![1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[1], and, man ... let the fools rage![2], and I will swerve in naught[1], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[2], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[1], and I will swerve in naught[2], and I pray now for the wanderers[1], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[2], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![1], and I pray now for the wanderers[2], and all the electric - spasms![1], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![2], and my own sounds, obviously ...[1], and all the electric - spasms![2], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[1], and my own sounds, obviously ...[2], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![1], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[2], and my fingers are hot!!![1], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![2], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[1], and my fingers are hot!!![2], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[1], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[2], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![1], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[2], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[1], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![2], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[1], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[2], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[1], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[2], and Jesus(!), yeah?[1], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[2], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[1], and Jesus(!), yeah?[2], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![1], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[2], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[1], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![2], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[1], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[2], and, whatever, I suppose[1], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[2], and, man ... let the fools rage![3], and, whatever, I suppose[2], and I spin a-ROUND here with a few favourite sounds, oblivious to the evil cold world[3], and I will swerve in naught[3], and like this ... finance is NOTHING / and like this ... politics is NOTHING[3], and I pray now for the wanderers[3], and, yes ... I am so GONE(!) ... with banging drums in my head, my soul, ha![3], and all the electric - spasms![3], and my own sounds, obviously ...[3], and the sounds of others, too: Beatles, Dylan, Stones, Nirvana, Oasis[3], and a-ROUND here I can wrap myself up, protect myself, keep warm, even ... hot![3], and my fingers are hot!!![3], and with the time I have left? Oh, I won't be raging with the fools, man, you dig?[3], and I'm bringing something to perfection ...[3], and my consciousness ness ... it is FIXED!!![3], and what are YOU(!) doing in that evil cold world / Son, daughter ... you're just waiting for death[3], and I don't wanna bring anyone down, but ...[3], and if you can tell the truth, you must tell the truth, if you can tell what the truth actually is[3], and Jesus(!), yeah?[3], and I'm getting energy, getting energy, getting energy ... uh, a-ROUND here, just believe[3], and there's only one choice: I've chosen it![3], and it ain't a struggle no more ... now that the EVIL(!!!) cold world truly sickens me[3], and if you're not sick of it, maybe you're the problem ... yes, YOU(!)[3], and, whatever, I suppose[3], and

Silver Lake Partners V - ?!

NOW this is what I'm talking about - !!! Silver Lake has raised an incredible amount of money for its fifth buyout fund. 'How much, boss? $1 billion?' Ha! 'All right. $2 billion then.' Ha! Ha! 'Er ... $3 billion? Not $3 billion, surely?' Ha! Ha! Ha! Christ! I feel like Count von Count from Sesame Street. 'How much, boss? FFS!' Okay, okay. $15 billion, Voice. 'You're having a laugh, man. Silver Lake must be having a laugh.' No, I'm serious. And they're serious. $15 billion. 'Wow!' They actually wanted $12.5 billion, but they just went nuts and went for the cool $15 billion, you dig? You've got to take your hat off to them. 'I haven't got a hat, boss.' Haven't you got an astral hat, for your astral head? 'Yeah, I've got an astral hat, which I wear on my astral head, sometimes, special occasions, like.' Well, put it on, because this is a special occasion, man. 'Okay.' Now take it off.

Sorry, reader(s). I can't get the staff. / Anyway, Silver Lake ...

Silver Lake is the global leader in technology investing, with about $39 billion in combined assets under management and committed capital and a team of approximately 100 investment and value creation professionals located around the world. Dedicated to the thesis that the dynamism and rapid pace of innovation in global technology demand intensely focused domain expertise, Silver Lake differentiates itself from generalist investment firms by devoting its full scope of talent and intellectual capital to the singular mission of investing in the world’s leading technology companies and tech-enabled businesses. Applying the strategic insights of an experienced industry participant, the operating skill of a world-class management team, and the investing capabilities of a leading private equity firm, Silver Lake leverages the deep knowledge and expertise of a global team based in Silicon Valley, New York, London, Hong Kong, and Tokyo.

And, uh ... 'Peckham?' No, no. Where was I? 'Are you going to take your hat off, boss?' I don't have a hat. 'You have a cap. That green one.' It's in my rucksack, in the wardrobe. 'Well, get it out!' No, no. I can't be bothered. 'Oh, but you want me -' Shut up, you bloody idiot! / Jesus H. - !!! I'm just going to wish the Silver Lake guys all the best with the new fund. 'Okay. Go on then.' / Hey, Silver Lake guys, all the best, yeah?

That should do it.

...

Anything else? No, not really. I'll be writing, spinning ... No. 505 later. I want to get the work done quickly this week, so I can deal with my pain, yeah, rest a bit until the weekend, and then maybe start playing the guitar again on Sunday. I ain't got all the time in the world, kook(s).

Anyway, laters.

[No. 504] Heaven or hell ... ?

Oh, I'm back in hell.

And it were like summer ...[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![1], and it were like summer ...[2], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![2], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[1], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[2], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[1], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[2], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![1], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[2], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[1], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![2], and, uh ...[1], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[1], and, uh ...[2], and such a sweet paradise ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[2], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![1], and such a sweet paradise ...[2], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[1], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![2], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[1], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[2], and I said it![1], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[2], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[1], and I said it![2], and maybe it follows me everywhere[1], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[2], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[1], and maybe it follows me everywhere[2], and there is nothing new under the sun[1], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[2], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[1], and there is nothing new under the sun[2], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![1], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[2], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![1], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![2], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[1], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![2], and we must never forget the THREE[1], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[2], and it were like summer ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[2], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![3], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[3], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[3], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[3], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![3], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[3], and, uh ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[3], and such a sweet paradise ...[3], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![3], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[3], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[3], and I said it![3], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[3], and maybe it follows me everywhere[3], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[3], and there is nothing new under the sun[3], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[3], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![3], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![3], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[3], and

And it were like summer ...[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![1], and it were like summer ...[2], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![2], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[1], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[2], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[1], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[2], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![1], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[2], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[1], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![2], and, uh ...[1], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[1], and, uh ...[2], and such a sweet paradise ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[2], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![1], and such a sweet paradise ...[2], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[1], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![2], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[1], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[2], and I said it![1], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[2], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[1], and I said it![2], and maybe it follows me everywhere[1], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[2], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[1], and maybe it follows me everywhere[2], and there is nothing new under the sun[1], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[2], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[1], and there is nothing new under the sun[2], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![1], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[2], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![1], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![2], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[1], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![2], and we must never forget the THREE[1], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[2], and it were like summer ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[2], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![3], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[3], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[3], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[3], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![3], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[3], and, uh ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[3], and such a sweet paradise ...[3], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![3], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[3], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[3], and I said it![3], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[3], and maybe it follows me everywhere[3], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[3], and there is nothing new under the sun[3], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[3], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![3], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![3], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[3], and

And it were like summer ...[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![1], and it were like summer ...[2], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[1], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![2], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[1], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[2], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[1], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[2], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![1], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[2], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[1], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![2], and, uh ...[1], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[1], and, uh ...[2], and such a sweet paradise ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[2], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![1], and such a sweet paradise ...[2], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[1], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![2], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[1], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[2], and I said it![1], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[2], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[1], and I said it![2], and maybe it follows me everywhere[1], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[2], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[1], and maybe it follows me everywhere[2], and there is nothing new under the sun[1], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[2], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[1], and there is nothing new under the sun[2], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![1], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[2], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![1], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![2], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[1], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![2], and we must never forget the THREE[1], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[2], and it were like summer ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[2], and, yeah ... I'm back in hell, DIZZY(!) as fuck, and having it large, man![3], and, well ... doing my best, anyway[3], and, Christ! ... the pasties just melted in my mouth[3], and you can't spend your whole life in a dream world, staring at the sea ... but it is very nice, obviously[3], and the lagers? And the mint ice creams? Oh boy![3], and ... 'Get a grip, Mikey!'[3], and, uh ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... oh, oh, oh, let me forget ... in hell[3], and such a sweet paradise ...[3], and ... I MUST FORGET!!![3], and even in heaven, you can fall over and break your ribs, so ...[3], and I have to say that this ... conceptual shit is some consolation / Yes, I have to say it[3], and I said it![3], and outside it's hell, you dig? / Er, that's what I mean / My inner life is separate[3], and maybe it follows me everywhere[3], and, yeah, yeah, yeah ... I'm a bit confused ... / 'Ha! What's new, Mikey?'[3], and there is nothing new under the sun[3], and, well ... I could have gone swimming with the friendly seal, but ... 'You can't swim!'[3], and a-ROUND here I will ... spin, ha![3], and a bowl of chips, too - every night![3], and I haven't even mentioned the THREE - !!! / 'Ha! You have now, Mikey!' / Yes, yes, yes ...[3], and we must never forget the THREE[3], and

NOW Money wins some award, apparently

Due to ill health, I'm doing another PR email this morning. 'You don't want the strain of looking around for news, do you, boss?' I certainly don't, Voice. I just want it handed to me on a plate by the lovely Bryony.

London, April 17, 2017 - NOW Money (NOW), has won the financial inclusion category of Pitch360, a competition at the Innovate Finance Global Summit 2017.

Fine. I'm sure they deserved it.

The competition took place on 11th April 2017 at the Guildhall in London, UK, and saw 24 FinTech startups compete for one of the eight winning spots covering different areas of FinTech, including Artificial Intelligence, Global Financial Inclusion, Block Chain, Personal Finance, Cross Border Payments, P2P Funding, Cyber Security and RegTech.

FinTech again. Bloody hell!

Ian Dillon, Co-Founder of NOW, gave the six-minute pitch, where he explained how the company's FinTech offering will bank the "unbanked" population of the UAE using mobile technology to solve the current problem in the Middle East. He also explained how the solution could be instrumental in increasing security and reducing money laundering.

Okay.

Ian was selected as the winner of the Financial Inclusion category due to his clear and concise explanation of the situation, and by showing how NOW is using the latest technology to provide a solution for this large, 26 million-strong neglected population group, which helps not only those who are excluded but will indirectly benefit their families overseas, including through access to credit.

Well done, Ian, mate! 'Don't he have nothing to say for himself, boss?' Oh, I'm sure he does. His type always do.

"It was a pleasure to introduce NOW to a whole new audience," said Mr. Dillon. "We've had lots of exposure across the GCC and there's currently a huge buzz around the FinTech sector. To be able to demonstrate NOW to industry experts in London and globally was so exciting for us. It's hard to explain the situation to those who don't live in the Middle East and experience the problem first hand, so to sum it up in six-minutes was a challenge to say the least! But we're thrilled with the overwhelming positive response; the support we receive from a network of partners, particularly Innovate Finance, is phenomenal and so important in helping us to be part of solving the financial inclusion problem globally."

All right, that's enough.

...

Anything else? Music? Guitar? Don't talk to me about guitar. I've been on the NHS website and I've got a fractured or bruised rib or something. 'Are you going to hospital then, Mikey?' No, Voice, I'm not. I'm going to deal with it using the "Lee Marvin Method" like last time when I had that fractured collarbone. 'A bottle of whisky and a broad?' Yes. That's all I need, man.

Talking of injuries ... I was watching The Sweeney the other week where some villain gets shot in the leg and has to be treated by a dodgy doctor. As good as the show is, the dialogue is often pretty rubbish, but there's a funny bit where the injured villain's co-villain or whatever is telling Mr Big about the shooting. He isn't actually called Mr Big. He's just the boss character, played by that brilliant Grouty guy from Porridge. Anyway, the co-villain says to Grouty, "He's in a bad way." And Grouty replies, with one of his superb menacing looks, "You're both in a bad way, son." Ha!

Don't miss TradeTech, Mikey!

Okay, okay ... / It's less than two weeks away! Uh ... even less now. One week, my dear reader(s)! 'Hang on! Who said that, boss?' Eh? What? 'Who, who said ... "Don't miss TradeTech, Mikey!" ... ?' Me, Voice. 'Oh, okay. So you're talking to yourself now?' Well, Charlotte said it, sort of. 'Who in the name of Christ is Charlotte?!' Don't get upset, you little idiot. Charlotte is the PR woman who sent me the invitation. 'What fucking invitation?!' Jesus H . - !!! The invitation to TradeTech in Paris. 'Paris?! Are you going then?' Ha! No. 'Oh.' I can still write about it though ...

Invitation: TradeTech - 2 WEEKS AWAY

WHEN: 25th-26th April 2017

WHERE: Palais des Congrès de Paris

You see? Next Tuesday and Wednesday. In Paris, too. 'Great! Who are the keynote speakers?' Keynote? Er ...

Jeff Jonas, Former IBM Fellow and Chief Scientist of Context Computing has been announced as one of the Keynote Speakers at this year's TradeTech Europe.

And ... 'Yeah. That's one of them, boss.' Shut up! And -

Additional Keynote Speakers include:

Rt Hon Nicky Morgan MP

Nicky has recently been known for her support for the 'Remain' campaign during Brexit and support for the EU. She will be discussing what impact Brexit will have on Britain as well as Europe's financial market.

Eric Boss, Global Head of Trading, Allianz Global Investors

Eric will be disclosing in our day one opening interview how he is preparing all trading activities for the upcoming MiFID II requirements and how he is navigating the differing requirements of the varying asset classes they trade.

In our day? What does that mean? 'Our day one.' Oh, right. Of course. I thought ... never mind. 'And you're going to miss it, all this. In Paris, too.' Well ...

Why you cannot miss TradeTech 2017

A world class speaker faculty made up of more buy side representatives than at any other event including experts from Invesco, T.Rowe Price, Generali Investments, Standard Life Investors, Amundi Asset Management and many more sharing their insights on how to build a world class equity trading desk.

Direct feedback from regulators on how to comply with impending regulations, including commentary from an impressive list of guest speakers, on how MiFID II is driving transparency in the financial market and creating the much needed market structure reform.

TradeTech Europe 2017 will bring together 1000+ equity trading leaders from the full value chain - key regulators, buy side, sell side, venues and technology partners - all exclusively under one roof. Only at TradeTech Europe will you have the opportunity to rub shoulders with those shaping the future of your market.

So, er ... yeah, I'm going to miss it. 'Shame.' Well, maybe they should have asked me to be a keynote speaker, you know? I'm available, at the right price.

Never mind.

...

Anything else? Music? Guitar? I can't play my guitar too much at the moment because I fell over in the street last week and banged my ribs, arm, hand, and cut my goddamn knee. 'Daydreaming again, Mikey?' No. Well, maybe. But my Timberland boots make me clumsy, man. 'Don't wear them then.' Ha! I'll never give up my boots. They're a part of my image. 'But you're not a rapper!' Oh, I'm bad though. No one messes with me, anyway.

Laters. Enjoy the last few hours of Easter, reader(s).

Compte-Nickel signs a partnership agreement for the acquisition of 95% of its shares by BNP Paribas

Right. It's the last post of the week, and then I'm taking a week off. I'll see you after Easter, dear reader(s). Probably on the Monday. But let's do this!

The French fintech company, which has developed a unique universal offering for current account and payment services in real-time, has succeeded in creating more than 540,000 bank accounts in three years. Its partnership with BNP Paribas will help it accelerate new customer acquisition, with a target of two million accounts open by 2020. Compte-Nickel has been supported by Partech Ventures since 2015 and by Eight Roads Ventures since 2016.

They want two million accounts. They're ambitious, aren't they? 'Is this a PR email, boss?' Of course it is, Voice. 'Great!' Uh, yeah.

Since 2015, Partech Ventures has been attracted by the complementary expertise of Compte Nickel's founders Ryad Boulanouar and Hugues Le Bret, and especially by the social inclusion dimension of their project. From the beginning, Compte-Nickel went against the model of most retail banks in the fintech sector, which were often pure-players betting on the conversion of pre-qualified users into customers.

Well, obviously, that all sounds great, but ... 'What's the problem, boss?' Man, I just ... 'Come on, Mikey! Spit it out!' Well ... I would like to hear what Philippe Collombel has got to say about this, you know? It's just a shame I don't have his phone number or even his email address. 'Ha! Boss, you're an idiot! Look at this -'

"The intuition of the founders, their understanding of an unexplored opportunity in the French banking sector, and the way they have managed to deploy their operations is impressive. Compte-Nickel has been the fastest-growing retail banking fintech in Europe and it has overcome the most difficult barrier to entry in this sector, customer trust, without any marketing investment", said Philippe Collombel, Co-Managing Partner, Partech Ventures.

Brilliant! Have you been speaking to him, Voice? 'No, it's in the email. I swear you don't read these things properly. You're so lucky that you've got me.' Yeah, right. My intern, my hero. / Oh, look who it is! 'Who?' Davor Hebel!

"Compte-Nickel is not a company, it's a movement which is changing the face of banking in France. It has been an honour to work with a fintech company that seeks to bank the many rather than the few, using a model that other countries could learn from. This news shows great foresight by BNP Paribas and we wish the Compte-Nickel team all the best for the future" added Davor Hebel, Managing Partner, Eight Roads Ventures Europe.

What about that, dear reader(s), eh? Davor Hebel! 'You're spoiling them, boss.' Ha! They ain't seen nothing yet. We've got Hugues Le Bret, too! 'Fucking hell!' Yeah.

"Partech Ventures was the first VC to believe in Compte-Nickel: the team have supported us since September 2015 and accompanied us in all strategic decisions, including when they introduced us to the BNP Paribas group. They also introduced us to Arnaud Giraudon who became the Managing Director of the company", commented Hugues Le Bret, President of Financière des Paiements Electroniques (Compte-Nickel).

The first VC to believe. Wow! / Thanks, Hugues, mate! / Okay, that's enough.

...

Anything else? Music? I'm listening to Oasis, The Masterplan. Except for the few songs I don't like that much.

My music? Guitar? After my week off, I'm going to go mental on my guitar. I've got no choice now.

So it is written, so it shall be done!

Laters.

[No. 503] I'm going beyond the THREE!

I may be some time.

And this ... is it[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[1], and this ... is it[2], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[2], and ... ha, ha, ha![1], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[2], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[1], and ... ha, ha, ha![2], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[1], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[1], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[2], and one, two, THREE ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[2], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[1], and one, two, THREE ...[2], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[1], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[2], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[1], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[2], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![1], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[2], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[1], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![2], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[1], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[2], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[1], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[2], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[1], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[2], and, uh ... never mind[1], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[2], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[1], and, uh ... never mind[2], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[1], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[1], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[2], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[2], and three times a raving lunatic ...[1], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[2], and here we are again, and there we go![1], and three times a raving lunatic ...[2], and this ... is it[3], and here we are again, and there we go![2], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[3], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[3], and ... ha, ha, ha![3], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[3], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[3], and one, two, THREE ...[3], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[3], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[3], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[3], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![3], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[3], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[3], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[3], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[3], and, uh ... never mind[3], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[3], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[3], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[3], and three times a raving lunatic ...[3], and here we are again, and there we go![3], and

And this ... is it[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[1], and this ... is it[2], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[2], and ... ha, ha, ha![1], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[2], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[1], and ... ha, ha, ha![2], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[1], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[1], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[2], and one, two, THREE ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[2], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[1], and one, two, THREE ...[2], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[1], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[2], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[1], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[2], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![1], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[2], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[1], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![2], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[1], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[2], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[1], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[2], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[1], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[2], and, uh ... never mind[1], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[2], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[1], and, uh ... never mind[2], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[1], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[1], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[2], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[2], and three times a raving lunatic ...[1], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[2], and here we are again, and there we go![1], and three times a raving lunatic ...[2], and this ... is it[3], and here we are again, and there we go![2], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[3], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[3], and ... ha, ha, ha![3], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[3], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[3], and one, two, THREE ...[3], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[3], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[3], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[3], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![3], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[3], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[3], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[3], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[3], and, uh ... never mind[3], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[3], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[3], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[3], and three times a raving lunatic ...[3], and here we are again, and there we go![3], and

And this ... is it[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[1], and this ... is it[2], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[1], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[2], and ... ha, ha, ha![1], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[2], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[1], and ... ha, ha, ha![2], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[1], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[1], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[2], and one, two, THREE ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[2], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[1], and one, two, THREE ...[2], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[1], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[2], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[1], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[2], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![1], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[2], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[1], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![2], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[1], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[2], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[1], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[2], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[1], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[2], and, uh ... never mind[1], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[2], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[1], and, uh ... never mind[2], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[1], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[1], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[2], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[2], and three times a raving lunatic ...[1], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[2], and here we are again, and there we go![1], and three times a raving lunatic ...[2], and this ... is it[3], and here we are again, and there we go![2], and wish me luck, kooks / 'Mikey, don't do it!'[3], and, oh ... they say it's too DANGEROUS, ha! / I, er ... laugh in the face of danger[3], and ... ha, ha, ha![3], and ... 'Boss, it’s too dangerous, man! Don't be a bloody fool!' / Ah, don't be so melodramatic, Voice[3], and ... 'Go on, then' / and ... Christ! Give me a minute[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND now ... / Yes, I need a bit of speed[3], and one, two, THREE ...[3], and I'm just wondering about all the things I will see, all the things I will feel ... maybe NOTHING[3], and uh, one, oh, two, er ...[3], and I have to be honest, this ... is worse than my old chaos days[3], and house on the shadowlands? Do me a favour![3], and let's think about it, spinners / it's only No. 503 / Tell me: what's the rush?[3], and YOU(!) are welcome to have a try[3], and ... 'They've got more sense, boss' / and who says? Not me! I would never say that[3], and have you seen some of them, Voice?[3], and, uh ... never mind[3], and maybe there are horrors lurking beyond our conscious ness nesses, you dig?[3], and in a few spins ... I'll be back to living large[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND again / oh, do I need to be reminded?[3], and it's so easy to pretend to be brave ... once, but ...[3], and three times a raving lunatic ...[3], and here we are again, and there we go![3], and