But I'm not going. 'What's this, boss?' My personal invitation to an art gallery, Voice. 'What?! There's supposed to be a lockdown, man!' Yeah, yeah. It's online, idiot! 'Oh. / Why aren't you going then?' I can't be bothered.
I'll do the PR email though ...
Dear Michael,
Your Personal Invitation:
Banksy, George Condo, Kaws, Damien Hirst and Jeff Koons together for the first time in a virtual exhibition 'XXI'
Special press preview Friday 1 May 2020 at 3pm (GMT)
Sorry, babe, I can't make it. 'He's washing his hair.' Yeah, I'm washing my hair. Sorry.
Ground-breaking digital art investments platform, ARTCELS, in partnership with HOFA Gallery, is launching a new virtual contemporary art exhibition, titled 'XXI' on Monday 4th May at 6pm (GMT).
That's great. But I'm busy.
It will be the first-of-its-kind to feature blue-chip contemporary artists - Banksy, George Condo, Kaws, Damien Hirst and Jeff Koons - together in a virtual art exhibition, and other leading international artists, including Ilhwa Kim, Retna, Daniel Arsham, Anthony James and Joseph Klibansky, in a 3-dimensional, HD virtual show designed to be immersive, interactive and realistic.
I hope everyone has a great time. Seriously.
ENDS
...
Anything else? It's the end of the week, kook(s). Let's discuss music. 'Let's play some tunes, Mikey!' Oh, all right.
Without You. Badfinger. / They wrote it! Bread-and-butter classic, first class.
Bring It On Home To Me. Sam Cooke. / His best song. I wish it was longer, and louder.
Thugz Mansion [7 Remix]. 2Pac. / Ha, ha, ha! I'm not a Biggie fan. I much prefer 2Pac. However, I had a bizarre dream the other week where I was in some sort of thug heaven, and Biggie was talking to me about stuff. 'What stuff?' I can't remember. But that's my dreams, man. Utterly bizarre shit. I could write a book about them.
Blue Chair. Elvis Costello. / Nice song. Maybe he should have made a more commercial recording of it. Like, uh ... Everyday I Write The Book.
So Like Candy. Elvis Costello. / Great song! He wrote it with Paul McCartney. I wonder who did the most work on it ...
Tempted. Squeeze. / Their best song.
That's enough.
...
What else? My songs? I think Stella is my favourite now. [Oh, I keep changing my mind!] It's the sort of great love song that classic two-man teams like Rodgers and Hart or Bacharach and David used to write. BUT(!) ... it's better than any of their songs. 'What about My Funny Valentine ... ?' That song has a pretty melody, Voice, sure. My song has power and grandeur though. 'Yeah?' Yeah. Believe it!
Oh, Yamaha London is selling an ex-showroom A3R for ... only £130 less than the normal price. Which is ridiculous, frankly. If they knocked another hundred off I might be interested. Actually, no! Another two hundred off. I'm not a mug. Do you know what I mean? Christ.
TV? Should I treat myself to some Minder and The Sweeney today? I don't know. 'You've seen them all before, boss.' Ha! I'm just addicted to melancholic moods. That's my trouble.
Elon, save me!
Laters!
