Thursday 3 April 2014

Brewin Dolphin has made Guy Foster head of research

Do you remember this, dear reader(s)? -

At Brewin Dolphin, we are focused on meeting the individual needs of our diverse range of clients: oddballs, seekers, and mystic kooks from everywhere. That means we always start by listening to you chant, learning about your chakras and discussing what colour you want your aura to be. Your adviser will then draw on specialist expertise from around Brewin Dolphin and the astral sea to ensure you are able to benefit from the blend of services you need. This approach is backed by our commitment to employing the very best financial shamans in our industry, and giving them the blood and the fire they need to offer the most well-informed advice. It's an approach that reaps rewards for our clients and has helped to make us one of the UK's leading private client investment managers.

Well, those days are gone! / Now, Brewin Dolphin is more interested in making a man like Guy Foster head of research. Guy is what we used to call a cold earth wanderer. He knows nothing of the blood and fire. He knows nothing of the dolphin-torn, gong-tormented sea. All he knows is research. Cold research. 'But, Mikey, Guy has worked his way up at Brewin Dolphin!' I don't care, Voice!

I just don't care. Times have changed. Maybe I'm to blame. Maybe I took my eye off the ball. Maybe I let too many squares take liberties. 'Boss, you remember every face of every man who put you here.' Yeah. 'And you see your light come shining from the west unto the east.' Damn straight! 'Any day now, any day now, you shall be released!' Oh, I hope so, Voice. I've got to stay positive.

...

No. 208? I'll be dealing with Guy Foster. You better believe it.

I've got a migraine, since last night. It's painful staring at my laptop screen, man. I need some pills!

Music? My guitar playing is getting pretty smooth. All the practice, you see. Two or three hours a day. / I might try to record You're Lying and My Heart again tomorrow. If I'm feeling better ...