Thursday, 19 February 2009

A little chat with Jesus H. Christ

What other blog offers you shit like this, eh? Forget about it. This is exclusive.

I'm not going to publish the entire conversation (a lot of it was very personal) but this is the gist of it (I'm in italics) -

Michael, I understand you've been having a spot of bother with a certain Mr Pickles. (Yeah, JC, it's a real pain in the arse.) Well, I'm here for you. You know that, don't you? (Thanks, JC.) I can't say I approve of your extreme creed of spiritual materialism - (Mystical capitalism, mate.) - whatever. But I know you're not a bad man. You've got a good heart. (I have. I keep telling people that.) Yeah. (I might even be in your shoes one day.) Really? (Why not? Everyone has to start off somewhere. You were only a carpenter's son. And David Icke, he was a friggin' goalkeeper, for crying out loud.) Right. (You know, Jack reckons he's not scared of you.) No? Well, he should be. I mean, does he really want a piece of me? I'll break him in two. (I know you will.) And that Satan. (Satan ain't nothing. Just some crazy angel with ideas above his station.) You said it. (What about Stanford? What are you going to do about him?) Nothing. Allen has made his bed. Now he's got to lie in it. I'm not going to interfere. (Probably the best policy. Let Big Herb deal with it.) Exactly. Finance, it's not my area. (By the way, how is the Holy Ghost? I haven't seen him about much lately.) Oh, he's okay, I think. (Maybe we should go out for a drink one night, the three of us.) Yeah, sure. I'll be in touch. (Good. Don't be a stranger.) Cheers, Mike.

Wow! What a cool guy! Forget about the Bible, you have to meet this character in the flesh (or a vision) to really get any idea of how cool he is. Brilliant.