Monday 27 July 2009

Mickey Clark is confused

Of course he is. And I know why. He's been talking to his old City pal Justin Urquhart Stewart from Seven Investment Management. And this just won't do. Because Justin ain't been burnt in no fucking desert, man. Mickey hasn't either. How can they expect to know anything about money?

It's absurd. We don't wanna stamp down on no green shoots. You don't even, well, you might, a cactus. I'll have to look into that. Giant astral cactus towering above us covered in banknotes. Is that what Mickey is going on about?

O Mikey, O Master, what are you going on about? Mickey Clark is a respected columnist. Are you drunk again?

Yes, I'm fucking drunk, my child, what are you going to do about it? I've just come back from the King's Head. There is nothing else to do. Why not drink?

Now, maybe I've misunderstood. Maybe I'm the confused one. Mickey says: So what about the stock market?

O Master, that's a good question.

Yes, it is a good question. It's a very good question. But here's a better question: Because the pleasure-bird whistles after the hot wires, shall the blind horse sing sweeter?

That's not a better question. It's stupid.

Oh, are you calling Dylan Thomas a … twat or something?

O Master, will you be deleting this post as well?

Fuck off!