Wednesday 8 August 2012

More Paulson & Co hedge fund losses

Oh, they're telling me there's some news, these awful slags. "Mikey! There's some news! Write it, man." They think they can tell me what to do. They've got this master and slave relationship all mixed up in their little heads. Maybe I'll have to straighten them out. Maybe I'll just ignore them. Hopefully, one day, they'll go away and leave me in peace. Then I'll be able to get down to some serious writing.

In the meantime, we have this shit. John Paulson's flagship hedge funds are still losing money. The Advantage fund went down, down, down 1.6 per cent last month. And the Advantage Plus fund went down, down, down 2 per cent. 'Why all the downs, man?' Voice, I'm trying to make it seem dramatic, you moron. 'Okay. I'm impressed.' What are we going to do with John Paulson? He used to be so special. 'We could take him into the desert, but -' There ain't no desert! 'I was just going to say that.' There ain't no desert. It was my decision.

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PURITY. TRANSCENDENCE. FREEDOM. / I'm serious, you know.

You can do it, too. Firstly, you gotta get clean. Get that nonsense out of your system. The money, the news of money. The faces, the funds. The ups, and the downs. We don't need it. Can't you understand? It's making us ill. After you're clean, you gotta get yourself elevated. That's the easy part, once you're clean. We'll be flying high in the friendly sky, like Marvin Gaye said. And that's the freedom, man. No one will be able to touch you, or me. I'm talking gone, gone, gone forever. / "Up, up and away, in my beautiful, my beautiful, balloon." Fuck off, Jimmy. That's one of your worst songs. How could you write Phoenix and that? You're nuts, pal.