Tuesday, 13 January 2015

Louise Kay has got a new job at Aviva Investors

And I'm happy for the girl, I really am. She is (or is going to be) the global head of sales. 'Pretty impressive, boss.' It is, Voice. The only thing that worries me is the photograph [Deleted! Morons!] of Louise shaking hands with her new boss, Ted Potter. I mean, why the hell is the photographer lying on the floor and looking up at them both? 'I can explain it, Mikey. That's Pete, their in-house photographer. He goes around photographing everyone at Aviva Investors. He's supposed to be a fund manager, yeah? But no one minds that he spends all his time indulging in his hobby.' Oh, right. But that doesn't explain why he's lying on the floor. 'Well, it's the end of the Christmas party, ain't it? Mid-January. Everyone at Aviva Investors is completely out of it.' Christ. These people ... 'Do you know how many coffees they had to get down Ted before he could pose for that photo with Louise?' No. How many? 'A lot.' Okay. Thanks for that, Voice.

Well, that's cleared that up then. / By the way, I can tell you, dear reader(s), our Louise used to work at Standard Life Investments where - 'They can read it on Fundweb, Mikey.' Of course they can, Voice. Yeah, pop over to Fundweb for a minute or two, my sweet reader(s). (The link above. Er, deleted ...) / Well, well ... er, I hope Louise is going to be happy at Aviva Investors. It's certainly going to be a change of culture for her.


Anything else? Not much. / Music? I'm listening to Burt Bacharach. Top guy!

New Year resolutions? I'm not sure mine have worked out yet. It was always going to be a soft launch for me. How about you? 'I'm fine.' Not you! Them.

I really don't like Magic Moments.

I'm going to play a lot more guitar this year. 'Record your demo?' I should think so! 'Then ... ?' Rock and roll shamanism, all the way. No prisoners!

Lunch? I haven't been out yet, but I'm going to Morrisons, so ... classic cheese and tomato sandwich - if they've got one.

I Say a Little Prayer. Great tune!


That weirdo is hanging around outside again, waiting for friends that don't exist. I suppose he's harmless ... / Man, when I'm rich though, I'm going to live in a gated community. Fuck this shit! Do you know what I mean? 'You'll be all right, boss. You're going to be like Jackie Treehorn, remember?' Yeah.

Keep your ugly fucking goldbricking ass out of my beach community, Lebowski! / Mr Fowke draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski.