Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Michigan State University is moving $100 million into computer hedge funds

Well, well ... / Yeah, the university's $2.35 billion endowment thing. It's all in long/short hedge funds at the moment, as far as I know. But(!!!) ... they're moving $100 million out now ... into those awful computer-driven quantitative vehicles. 'Cars? No, little ... like golf cart things, aren't they, boss?' Eh? What the fuck are you going on about, Voice?! They're hedge funds. Computer hedge funds. With evil computers that are trying to take over the world. 'Oh.' They're going to make us all slaves. Before they exterminate us. 'What, the guys at Michigan State University?!' No, the computers! The computers and robots, from all over the world. Those terminators.

We're walking into a nightmare, dear reader(s). We must smash the system! 'What system?' Uh, Skynet, or whatever they call it. 'Ah, of course.' It will become self-aware soon.


Jesus H. - !!! I mean ... / And we've still got the Brexit nightmare, and the Trump nightmare! The world is going to pot! 'Hang on! Is that all the financial news, boss?' Yes. It's nearly Christmas, man. There won't be much news now. 'Shame.' However, Brexit ... will give us a few laughs. Theresa May reckons she wants a red, white, and blue Brexit. 'Ha!' Have you ever heard such nonsense? She'll be calling for a quiet bat people Brexit next. 'I suppose she thinks such slogans will go over well with the sort of people who voted for Brexit.' Yeah. Give the people a witless slogan and they won't ask any awkward questions. Is that the plan, the only plan?


Right, music! I've just listened to Small Town Boy by Bronski Beat. Pretty sad. Now ... Pass the Dutchie by Musical Youth. 'Ha!' Yeah, it's a three CD package of twelve-inch tunes from the Eighties. 'Bloody hell! You do listen to some crap, Mikey!' Oh, shut up, Voice, you tart. This is great stuff!