Monday, 25 September 2017

We don't want customs misery

We certainly don't!

Right. I haven't got a lot of PR emails, and I can't be bothered to go looking for news on a rainy Monday morning in winter, so ... it's Jinksy again! 'Oh, good! I like him, boss.' Okay, Voice. Whatever.

The Prime Minister's Florence speech offers a two-year deal with the EU that's the bare minimum needed for UK exporters, says international shipping expert ParcelHero. In today's [Uh, last week's] high-profile speech to European Union (EU) leaders in Florence, Prime Minister [prime minister] Theresa May proposed a transition deal  of 'around two years' that offers UK exporters a vital lifeline, says the international parcel broker ParcelHero.

While the speech avoided specifics, political commentators say a final agreement could mean offering up to £18bn in exchange for continued membership of the single market for two years. ParcelHero's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT says: "The PM's speech was intended to unblock clogged negotiations and shows a glimmer of light for British exporters and everyone who ships items to the EU."

But, but, but ... I'm sure our David cautions something. I mean, I would, considering what a bloody mess this Brexit INSANITY is. 'Look, boss -'

David cautions: "To be frank, two years is the bare minimum needed by UK exporters and importers to get their plans and systems in place in the face of increased costs and red tape. Many British exporters would prefer a more rolling approach that puts practical solutions ahead of any ideology."

No, no. What we would prefer, son, is no Brexit at all, because it's ... INSANE, you dig? Absolutely bloody - 'Okay, boss. But he's not finished yet. He says, and he adds.' Okay, okay, uh ... let's see what he adds then.

Adds David: "Theresa May told EU leaders that she wants the final result of Brexit to be remembered 'not for the challenges we endured but for the creativity we used to overcome them; not for a relationship that ended but a new partnership that began.' British businesses have had precious little guidance on how that 'partnership' with our EU neighbours might continue until now; but the prospect of a two-year extension at least gives time for creative new business plans to be put in place."

Ha! Well, she's just putting off the disaster of Brexit because she knows she'll be out of a job soon, and then it'll be someone else's problem.

"The Prime Minister said 'There is no need to impose tariffs,' in her speech; but there's no guarantee the EU will agree. The figure of £11bn in new tariffs we predicted before the referendum still holds good - together with a rise of up to 30% on some imported items as we face new Customs clearance charges, increased transport costs, expensive customs delays and a VAT quagmire just waiting to suck in anyone who trades with the EU."

Well, I'm not paying another 30 per cent for my guitar strings!!!! Those Elixirs already cost £17! [Elixir 80/20 bronze acoustic guitar strings, light, with nanoweb ultra thin coating, with anti-rust plain steels.] 'Boss, boss, let Jinksy explain ...'

David explains: "No deal or a firmish Brexit will mean tariffs on British goods at EU borders and EU goods at UK borders; so a deal has to be struck. The average EU tariff for non-EU imports (and that means Britain post Brexit) is 2.3% and the tariff on British cars would be a whopping 10%, for example. But Britain's exporters can't just abandon the EU market as the tariff on UK cars in India (a fast-growing new market) would be up to 125% if the UK ceases to be part of a special EU-India tariff deal. Ouch!"

Ouch! Bloody hell! What a nightmare! And he didn't say anything about the strings ... 'Boss, let him conclude.' No! I don't want to hear anything else about Brexit. I'm sick of it!



Right. Anything else? [Not about Brexit.] Music? My music? I don't do updates no more, dear reader(s). 'Just do one last one, Mikey. What harm can it do?' All right, man. Yes, I have ten complete songs now. Enough for an album. 'Nice.'

Well, laters.