Thursday 5 March 2009

Andrea Orcel ($33.8m), David Gu ($18.7m), David Goodman ($16.5m), David Sobotka ($13m), Fares Noujaim ($15m), Thomas Montag ($39.4m) ...

... and Peter "I ain't missing you at all" Kraus ($29.4m).

Those are the guys. Those are the bonuses. Merrill Lynch executives. I don't begrudge them one goddamn cent of that money. NOT ONE GODDAMN CENT! But someone does. His name is Andrew Cuomo, and he is New York's attorney-general, and he wants to know when these beautiful bankers found out what their bonuses would be, and who informed them. DON'T TELL HIM, BOYS!

This has got to stop. The hounding of decent, hard-working, God-fearing capitalists. Oh, what does the future hold?

EVIL TIMES ARE COMING!

There is blood on the face of an angel on the ladder to the highest level beyond the clouds above the earth inside my brain buzzing like a bee a demonic beast the size of a mountain with flames of fear and tears of rage and a wheel turning rolling spinning eating the cosmos and expanding and shining and making a noise that smashes my ears to shit.

ANDREA, DAVE, DAVE, AND DAVE, FARES, TOM, PETE!

Only you can stop this. Each of you should send me $1 million. Do it today. Do it now!